As she said it, she watched him unbutton his shirt one button at a time as if teasing her mercilessly. He pulled his shirt from his jeans and then tossed it to the floor with her clothes. He unbuckled his belt and toed off his shoes, pulling his cell phone from his pocket and setting it on the nightstand beside his glasses. He was so deliberate in what he did even as he shifted his gaze back to her, running his simmering whiskey-colored eyes over her, reminding her of his pleasurable, burning bite. She wanted to see all of him, to feel him on her, inside her. She scrambled up on her knees and reached for his belt to unzip him when he put his hands over hers. She looked up at him.
“I’ve waited so long for you,” he said. “I’m not waiting anymore.” He was wearing the kind of underwear those male models wore in the Calvin Klein ads, but on Bruce they looked as if they were made for him. She slipped her fingers into the waistband and slid them over his erection, so bold and large. She didn’t remember him being so large.
Bruce stepped out of his clothes and climbed on the bed with her as her hand slipped around him. “Easy, baby,” he hissed. “I may not last. I want to see you come apart under me when I bury myself inside you.”
“Why are you taking so long, then?”
He actually chuckled as he leaned over, taking her down on her back, his lips brushing hers in a kiss that was far from gentle but filled with passion and fire. She knew she’d die if she never got to taste him again. She didn’t want it to stop as he angled his head, deepening the kiss and then tasting her neck, her breasts, her stomach, and lower, and then his hand slipped under her knee, pushing it out as he ran his hand up the inside of her thigh. She was so wet for him. She wanted him, at the same time feeling virginal even though she knew exactly what a man and woman did together, having experienced everything with her husband—a touch she had tolerated, a touch that could never bring her to the heights of passion that just a look from Bruce could.
His cell phone rang before he continued with loving her, and then he was off the bed, moving away and grabbing his phone. She was stunned as she lay there in a state of passion, realizing he was sitting on the edge of the bed and now reaching for his clothes. What the hell?
“How long?” he said. “Okay, get him prepped. On my way in. Give me twenty minutes.”
Was he really leaving? He had said he was on call, but right now, when she was so complete frazzled and so close to having him after waiting for so many years to belong to him in the only way a woman could completely belong to a man…here she was, sitting naked as she pulled her knees up to her breasts to cover herself. Bruce was pulling on his clothes. “I’m sorry” was all he said as he tucked his shirt in, grabbing his glasses and shoving them on.
Kim couldn’t seem to find her tongue as she realized that what she’d waited for all these years was about to walk out the door in less than ten seconds. He grabbed her face and kissed her hard and fast, his tongue slipping in, tasting her. Her hand covered his before he pulled away.
“I’ve got an emergency,” he said. “New baby, just born. There’s been a complication.”
Of course she felt like crap, mourning her loss when there was a baby who needed him. She jumped off the bed, grabbing the robe that was on the hook behind the door, a blue plaid that came to mid calf. She hurried after him. “Of course you have to go. I hope it’s not too serious.”
She wanted to ask him if he would be back, but that was selfish and silly and needy, and she didn’t want to be needy right now. He kissed her once more before going out the door. She flicked on the outside light as he ran to his car, jumped in, and turned to race down her driveway. And she did the only thing she could: She went onto the deck, sat in the wooden seat, and watched as the man she loved, who was needed by so many, drove away.
***
Chapter Ten
Kim had no idea what time she drifted off, but Chloe woke her when the sun was up, nickering to remind her that breakfast was late. She blinked, feeling hungover. She hadn’t had a wink of sleep all night. She sat up, and her head felt heavy as she crept out of bed. She wondered where Bruce was, whether he was still at the hospital or had gone home to the condo she knew he had in town. She didn’t know exactly where he lived, but it was close to the hospital, which had a few really nice high-end places.
After she turned Chloe out on the pasture to graze, she climbed into a cool shower as the heat continued to rise. Instead of pulling on jeans, she slipped on a jean skirt and a paisley tank top and took a minute to have a coffee and choke down a piece of toast even though the knots in her stomach had stolen her appetite. She’d checked her phone every minute all morning, and the ringer, just to make sure it hadn’t been turned off. Should she call him, maybe check in to see how he was?
Who was she kidding—she ached for him. Being without him was killing her. “Oh, you’re so pathetic, Kim.” She tapped her hands on the counter and looked around for something to do. There was lots: repairs to make on her horse’s shelter, weeding in the garden, manure to clean up…and there were tons of other things she could be doing, but right now she didn’t think she could concentrate long enough to put any effort into anything. And she didn’t want to leave the house in case Bruce phoned, so she pulled out a mixing bowl and started making a batch of muffins. She added some frozen peaches and blueberries, and when Bruce still hadn’t called after two dozen muffins were baked, she grabbed a Tupperware container and stuffed a dozen in with a napkin and butter in a small container, stepped into her sandals, grabbed her truck keys, and went out the door to drive into town.
When she approached the hospital, she wondered whether he was still there. She hadn’t stopped to consider how she’d be able to walk right into the hospital to see him. Maybe she should have called from home. If she had a cell phone—she’d never seen the need for such an added expense—she could have called him now. Instead, she paid for parking in the hospital lot, grabbed the cloth bag with the container of muffins and small thermos of coffee she’d packed on a whim, lifted her purse over her shoulder, and walked through the main entrance of the hospital.
It was busy midday, so she stopped at the reception, where a young woman with mousy brown hair in a ponytail sat behind the counter. She was wearing a blue tooth device attached behind her ear and looking at a computer screen in front of her.
“Can I help you?” She said as Kim heard phones buzzing in the background.
“Yes, can you tell me if Dr. Bruce Siegel is still here e was called in for an emergency.”
“Let me check.” She tapped some keys on her computer and then was talking to someone on her earpiece. “Is Dr. Siegel still on the grounds?” She asked, then nodded. “Okay, thank you.” She glanced back up at Kim. “He just came out of surgery. Go on up to the third floor nurses’ station. There’s a waiting area off there. Let the nurses know you’re there to see the doctor, and he’ll find you when he’s finished.”
She wondered whether she should tell this woman she wasn’t a patient—or rather, she didn’t have a child who was a patient. She started to when the woman began answering another call, so instead she tapped the counter and said, “Thank you.”
She started to the elevators, her insides shaking. The tiny nerves of steel that had made her think this was a good idea were suddenly wavering. Maybe he wouldn’t appreciate her showing up here, and as she stood in front of the elevator, she wondered whether maybe she should go back to the receptionist and ask to leave a message instead. Or she could go home alone.
She didn’t want to be alone, though. It’s now or never, Kim. Haven’t you lost enough time? She jabbed the button and waited for the elevator when the doors opened several people stepped out. There was a couple who followed Kim in, she pressed three. And they seemed to be going to the same floor. They were young and looked so sad. The woman had short dark hair and was holding her husband’s hand. Kim smiled over at them.
“You have a child here?” the woman asked her.
“No, I don’t. Just visi
ting a friend. You?” she asked, wishing very much that she did have a child—Bruce’s child, but not a child in the hospital. That had to be so difficult for a parent.
“Our daughter. She’s five.”
The man said nothing but offered a polite smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“I hope it’s not too serious,” she said. From the expression on the man’s face, it didn’t seem as if it was anything simple.
“She needs a heart transplant, has been on the waiting list since she was a baby. It’s hard not knowing, waiting every day.”
Kim didn’t know what to say as the doors opened. The couple stepped out first and went down the hall, and Kim went to the nurses’ station. It was bustling with three nurses, a couple of doctors in scrubs, and someone behind the desk on the phone.
“Can I help you?” a man in scrubs with a white coat pulled over top looked up to her from the stool he was sitting on.
“Yes, is Dr. Bruce Siegel still here? Reception downstairs said he was just getting out of surgery—”
“Kim?”
She jumped when she heard his voice, turning to see him in faded blue scrubs, wearing a scrub cap with cartoon characters on it. He looked so tired, and he looked so good.
“Hi,” she said. “I, uh…” What the hell did she want to say? I was worried, feeling needy because you didn’t call, probably because you were saving some child’s life, and I couldn’t be patient and wait. “I made you muffins because I thought you might be hungry. Is everything all right with the child?”
He smiled at her. “Fine, come on.” He held up his hand, slipping it around her shoulder, and said to a nurse behind the counter, “Baby Whiteside is in the ICU. Can you let me know as soon as the mom is awake, and I’ll go talk to her?”
Kim didn’t miss the glances her way, the interest noted by a few of the nurses to Bruce’s hand on her shoulder.
“Come on, let’s go in the lounge,” he said.
She started walking with him down the hall. “I feel bad for just showing up here.”
Bruce pushed opened the door to a nice room with a sofa, a kitchen table with six chairs, a fridge, and a microwave. Two doctors across the room were drinking coffee, and they glanced their way.
“How’d the surgery go?” one of them asked.
Kim was watching Bruce, in awe of who he was. All this time away had made him into someone truly special. She listened as he rattled off the procedure, something she’d never heard of. She felt completely uneducated, listening to him, and she realized then that all his time away, his education and what he’d accomplished, had taken him from the farm community where they grew up and made him godlike. And here she was with a high school diploma, divorced, her only experience working off and on at the feed store.
The doctors left.
“So where are these muffins? I’m starving,” he said.
She put the cloth bag on the table and lifted out the container. The coffee thermos rattled and was lying in the bottom, but when she looked at the full coffee pot on the counter, where Bruce was filling a mug, she decided to leave it in the bag.
“I made peach blueberry muffins.”
Bruce sniffed and scooped one from the container, eating it in two bites. He actually groaned. “This is so good. What else do you have in there?” He actually slid the bag open to look and pulled out the thermos.
“I made you coffee, but I didn’t think you’d have some here already.”
He looked at her as he shoved another muffin into his mouth, his eyes bloodshot, and even though he looked exhausted, he picked up on her uncertainty. He walked over to the sink and dumped out his coffee, then unscrewed her thermos, took a sniff, and poured. “Yours smells way better.” He took a swallow and groaned again. “I was right: It is way better.”
Did he have any idea how that made her feel? She couldn’t help smiling up at him, and he reached out and ran his thumb over her lips.
“I love to see you smile,” he said. “After seeing so much upset today, you really are a breath of fresh air.”
She must have appeared shocked. “Really? I just, uh…I’m not a doctor.” She clutched the strap of her purse as she watched him chew, and she knew the moment he understood what she was saying.
“I see. So you think you’re not good enough for me, is that it? That I’m so shallow I need you to be a doctor or some other professional?”
She was shaking her head. “No, it’s just I’m not educated like you, and I didn’t even realize it until I walked in here with you and listened to you rattle off what sounded like an amazing procedure you just did to save a baby’s life. You create miracles, and I never really understood it until just now. I have a high school diploma. I haven’t been anywhere, done anything. I work at a feed store for minimum wage off and on.”
“I’m not understanding the problem, Kim.” He sighed, sounding frustrated.
“I’m not in your league.”
Now he appeared downright furious as he yanked off his scrub cap and stuffed it in his shirt pocket. His hair was such a mess. She wanted to run her fingers through it and straighten it out or play with it or something. She loved lying beside him for hours, talking and running her fingers through those silky locks. Or so she had all those years ago.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean? League? Are you kidding me, Kim?” He didn’t give her a chance to answer as he put his cup down and set both hands on her shoulders, holding her still. “You listen to me. Do you remember our plan? Do you remember my promise, our promise to each other?”
Of course she did. It was a promise that had haunted her for years. She slowly nodded.
“You were waiting for me to be a doctor and come back. We were getting married and having a family. I was going to take care of you. You were going to raise our children.”
“But it didn’t happen, and I feel so cheated. All I wanted was to be your wife, mother to your children. I didn’t get that, and now it’s…” She rested her hand on his arm. “You’re so much more than you set out to be.”
“Kim, dammit, stop making this so difficult. I’m tired, and I have no idea when I’m going to get out of here, and I don’t have the patience for this right now.”
A nurse poked her head through the doorway. “Dr. Siegel, the mother’s awake, asking for the baby.”
Bruce nodded. “Okay, I’ll be right there.” He dropped his hands and picked up the mug to drink more coffee. Then he reached for another muffin and stepped closer to Kim, watching her in his heavy-lidded way. He leaned down and tenderly kissed her on the cheek and then the lips.
She reached up with both hands and grabbed his cheeks to hold him to her, but he pulled away, gazing at her for another second.
“I gotta go. Thanks for the muffins, coffee, and coming by.”
She didn’t say anything as he hurried out the door and left her standing there alone. She glanced down at the Tupperware container and the uneaten muffins in there. She put the lid on the container and left it on the table, packing up the coffee and leaving, now even more confused than she’d ever been in her life.
***
Chapter Eleven
Three days had passed since she’d seen Bruce, felt his hands on her. She’d wondered whether he’d phone when he was finished or just go home and sleep, but then, she hadn’t known whether he was at the office or the hospital, and each time she reached for the phone to call him, she made herself hang it up. She couldn’t be the needy wannabe girlfriend, because the fact was she didn’t have a clue what she was to him. Yes, he still had feelings. Yes, they’d almost made love, but here she was, still alone. What exactly did that make them?
She’d just come inside the house, all sweaty and dusty from moving the last of the hay bales to the shed in back. Her arms ached and her back hurt, and she hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in days. She climbed out of her grimy T-shirt and worn blue jeans, dumping them in the dirty clothes hamper along with the thick socks she wore in her work boots
. She turned on the shower and waited for the water to warm up, then climbed in under the spray. She poured shampoo on her hair and scrubbed her scalp, leaning back, her head under the water.
“There you are.” The shower curtain ripped open.
She shrieked, covering herself as she stared at Bruce, who appeared as if he hadn’t shaved in days. He pulled off his clothes, slipped his glasses onto the counter, and climbed into the shower. The water was running down her face, and he moved her and ducked his head under the spray.
“What are you doing here?”
Maybe she was in shock after not hearing from him, but here he was in the shower with her, now running soap over his body, under his arms, and rinsing off.
He handed her the soap bar. “Wash my back,” he said, and he turned around and she stared at him. She couldn’t believe his nerve, his demand, but that didn’t stop her from lathering the soap and then running her hands over his back. She could feel how tight he was, and now she felt bad.
“Were you at the hospital this entire time?”
“Yeah. I grabbed a nap in one of the rooms. I needed to be there. It got complicated. Had to take the baby into surgery again. It happens.”
She pushed into his muscles and kneaded his shoulders.
“Oh, that feels so good.” He actually braced his hand against the wall. “The water’s getting cold. Hand me the shampoo.”
She handed the bottle to him, and he squeezed some into his palms, scrubbed his head, and then ducked under the spray. At least she’d already rinsed the shampoo from her hair.
Kim jumped out as Bruce turned the water off. He was behind her as she reached for a towel and handed it to him. He took it and dried her off, patting the moisture from her hair. He did it with such tenderness that it made her heart squeeze. Then he ran the towel over his chest, drying himself off. He dumped it on the floor and stalked to her, lifting her in front of him, and she wrapped her legs around his waist.
His Promise (Married in Montana Book 1) Page 5