“Why are you being such an ass, Liam?” Tobias demanded.
“I’m trying to save her life!” he shouted back. “That’s what I’ve been trying to do since we fled the damn castle!”
I cringed as tears sprang to my eyes.
He saw my tears and became even angrier. “By the gods, Elena! Why are you crying now?”
That pissed me off. “Why am I crying?” I tried to take a step forward, but my stupid breeches were still at my feet. I reached down and pulled them up, lifting my skirts in the process.
Liam looked away.
“Why’d you turn from me?” I demanded.
“I’m trying to give you your privacy!” he shouted.
“Why? You’ve been whoring me out night after night. Three of you have seen me stark naked—and then some. Your turn is tomorrow, right?” I asked, my voice breaking. “Except Finn is disgusted by me and wishes he’d never laid eyes on me.”
Finn watched me with dark eyes.
“I’ll absolve you, Finn,” I said. “I’ll absolve you of your vows.”
All four of the other men stared at me in disbelief.
Finally Liam spoke, sounding slightly panicked. “Elena, you can’t do that.”
“I can, and we all know it. And I sure don’t hear Finn arguing to stop me.”
If possible, Finn’s glare turned even darker.
“You don’t want to do this,” I said. “I don’t blame you. I didn’t ask for this either, but unlike me, you might actually have a choice. So I’ll absolve you.” I walked over to my horse and pulled my sword out of my bag.
Liam stepped in front of me. “Elena! Stop this madness!”
I turned to him and let my anger and fear and humiliation rush out. “He doesn’t want to be here! The Finn I loved—the one who was always there making sure I was all right—the man who had always been so tender and kind can’t stand to look at me!” I shouted the last part and started to cry.
Liam’s gaze softened, and he reached for me. “Elena, I’m sorry. This is far harder on you than on any of us, and I’ve dismissed that.”
His cooler words eased my temper some, but it didn’t soothe Finn. He looked furious.
“Are you done with your tantrum, Elena?” Finn asked in a dry tone I had never heard from him before. “Because I’d like to avoid the corsairs if possible.”
My mouth dropped, and the other four men bristled, but Finn had just proven what I needed to do. I drew my sword from its scabbard as I walked toward him.
Surprise filled his eyes, as though he’d been calling my bluff and hadn’t expected me to act, but he quickly shuttered his emotions, the hardness back.
“Elena!” Dax cried out. “No!”
I ignored him and lifted the sword to Finn’s right shoulder. “Finn of Garius, Guardsman of the Royal Court, I absolve you of your services and of your oath to me and to the Kingdom of Garius.” I heard gasps and protests behind me, but I ignored them as I tapped his other shoulder. I also ignored the fury in his eyes. “You are free and are no longer bound to the guard.”
Then I spun around and marched toward my horse and nearly stumbled when a pain seared though my chest. I glanced over my shoulder to see if Finn had been afflicted as well, but he sat stock-still on his horse looking shell-shocked.
“Elena!” Tobias shouted. “What have you done?”
“I’ve set him free.” I sheathed my sword, not an easy task with my shaky hands. Then I climbed up into the saddle, also not an easy task with all the fabric hanging between my legs. Once I was seated, I took in their angry and shocked faces. “Does anyone else want to be absolved?”
The pain hit me again, a searing that dug into my soul. I sucked in a breath and resisted the urge to press my hand to my breast.
“You just absolved me from the guard itself, Princess,” Finn said, his bitterness seeping into my title.
I lifted my chin. “All the better. If you want to be in the royal guard, then you can return, released from your traitorous duties. You can reswear the oath and prove your loyalty to my father . . . and Prince Leonardo.”
His jaw tightened. “I give no loyalty to that man.”
“Then you better leave the kingdom because Leonardo is my father’s choice as heir, and you have proven you have no interest in being loyal to me.”
His eyes widened at that, and his face softened some. “Elena—”
“You are either with me or you’re not, and you’ve proven that you’re not.” I moved my horse closer to his, and my magic cried out in sadness, not the usual eagerness it had near him and the others. I’d just severed my tie to him and, in turn, signed my death warrant. I flicked my horse’s reins. “Let’s not waste any time. I have to get to the temple.”
I took the lead and my men quickly followed, then resumed their previous formation, except Finn rode at the rear.
“May I ride with you to the temple, Your Royal Highness?” Finn called out, his words dripping with sarcasm, again something I wasn’t used to hearing from him.
I wanted to slow my horse and ride next to him and resolve this madness, but in my heart, this decision felt right. I couldn’t afford to have reluctant protectors. Especially now.
“You may do as you like. How close you stay with us is up to my guardsmen.” It hurt to say that. Finn was part of my guard, and it felt like I’d just cut off my arm. I could see that the others felt it too.
We rode in silence as we sped up the horses. As if the gods had smiled on us, the weather broke and the sun appeared, warming me up just a little.
But the longer we rode, the more my chest hurt, and I struggled to remain upright in the saddle.
“When do you expect us to reach the temple, Captain?” I asked.
Liam shot a glance back to me with guarded eyes. “The weather has improved. We should reach the edge of the mountains by nightfall. Perhaps late tomorrow evening.”
I nodded my acknowledgment. I wasn’t sure I’d survive that long.
15
Night had fallen, and we still hadn’t found shelter. The clouds had moved on and a nearly full moon shined over our heads, lighting the road. We hadn’t seen any signs of corsairs, and I had begun to let myself believe we were out of danger—I even removed my belt and sword and tucked them back into my bag to make it easier to ride with my growing pain.
I was foolish. I would never be out of danger again.
But at the moment, I was more concerned with my pain. I would have to admit my weakness, or I feared I’d fall off my horse again. “Dax,” I finally said. “Do you have anything in your herbs to dull pain?”
Liam stopped his horse, and everyone else followed suit.
Dax turned his horse toward me, moving closer.
“I have several, Elena, but their use depends on the source of the pain,” he said quietly.
I knew that. I’d been handing out herbs and poultices to the village children for three years. How could I be so careless as to open myself up to examination?
“Chronberry root,” I said.
Alarm washed over his face and he dismounted. It was a powerful sedative. “What’s the source of your pain, Elena?”
“Get back on your horse,” I tried to command, but a new wave of pain hit me, and I gave into it. Leaning over to the side, I vomited on the road.
My three other guards dismounted before I could tell them to stop, and someone was pulling me off my horse. Tobias. My magic called out to his for help, but it was helpless to do anything.
“She’s burning up,” Dax said, sounding worried.
“Is it poison?” Tobias asked.
“We’ve all eaten the same things,” Matthew said.
“Not this morning,” Finn called from behind us. “The mistress handed Elena a bowl and said she’d made it specially for her.”
“That was hours and hours ago,” Tobias protested.
“Some poisons take that long, which doesn’t helps narrow down an antidote.” Dax sounded scared.
“Can we m
ove her someplace more secure?” Liam asked, his voice tight. “We’re in the middle of the damn road.”
“It’s not poison,” I mumbled. Now that I’d given over to the pain, I struggled to stay above the surface of consciousness.
“How do you know?” Dax asked, taking off my mitten and holding my hand in his.
I couldn’t tell them. As my guardsmen, their sworn duty was to protect me at all costs, even if it pitted them against their brother. “I just do.” I needed to give him more than that. “I vomited from pain, Dax.”
Another wave hit me, and I tried to curl into a fetal position in Tobias’s arms.
“What pain, Elena?” Dax asked. “Where do you hurt?”
“Shh . . .” Tobias said. “Touch her. Listen.”
Dax shook his head in confusion. “Listen to what?”
“Touch her and listen. Use your magic. Matthew, you too,” Tobias barked.
“More magic mumbo jumbo,” Finn grunted.
“You’re a free man, Finn,” Liam called out, sounding pissed. “You are no longer forced to listen to our mumbo jumbo.”
Dax continued to hold my hand, and Matthew rested his hand on my face.
I struggled to remain still—if nothing else, out of curiosity—but another stabbing pain hit me, this one worse than the rest.
“She’s dying,” Matthew choked out.
“What do you know?” Liam demanded, his voice closer than before.
“Her magic has been wounded,” Dax said in a steady voice. “It’s hemorrhaging. How long has this been going on?”
“Since she released Finn,” Liam said, now next to me. He pushed Dax and Matthew out of the way. “By the gods, Elena, why did you do something so foolhardy? And why did you let your pride get in the way of your safety?”
“It wasn’t just pride,” I gasped out, trying not to succumb to the darkness. “He’s no good to me if he refuses to . . .”
He brushed my hair from my face, then said softly, “He needed more time, Ellie.”
“No, he was too deep into his disgust. It was only getting worse. I had to free him.”
“Damn you, Finn!” Matthew shouted.
“No,” I said, digging deep to find the energy to speak. “Leave him be. Perhaps the priestess will know what to do.”
“She’ll never make it that far,” Dax said. “Her pulse is erratic.”
“Give her some water,” Matthew said, and a canteen was lifted to my lips.
I drank a large enough sip to wash the taste of bile from my tongue.
“Does she need Finn?” Liam asked quietly.
“I think so,” Dax said. “But from everything I learned from my grandmother, she needs all five elements, and it makes sense that Finn is water.” He paused. “But she’s so wounded, acquiring his element is a bandage at best. She needs spirit to make her whole.”
“And you still think that’s me?” Liam asked.
“Yeah, but I don’t think you can be with her until she acquires the fourth element.”
Liam leaned his face into mine. “I’ll save you. I swear it.”
“I can release you,” I whispered. “Perhaps it will save you too.”
“Don’t you dare!” he said with such force that I winced. “By the gods, Ellie, I beg you to not release me. Promise you won’t.”
I looked up into his worried eyes. “I don’t think I can save the others. I think they’re permanently tied to me. But you . . . I can save you.”
He cupped my cheek. “I don’t want to be saved. I want to be with you to the end, whatever that might be.” Then he kissed me. It was a chaste kiss, his lips barely touching mine, but enough to feed my magic the energy it needed to revive slightly.
Dax felt my wrist again. “That helped, Liam. Her pulse is steadier.”
“Give her to me,” Liam commanded, and I was transferred to Liam’s arms. He walked toward the forest surrounding the road and sat on a fallen log with me sideways on his lap.
“Ellie,” he whispered, searching my face. “I’m sorry for earlier. I goaded you into releasing Finn.”
“No. I knew I needed to release him. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it before.”
He gave me another gentle kiss. “I was angry with myself, not you. You need to know that. When you said I was whoring you out, I realized that was how it appeared, but—”
I reached up to his face. “I was embarrassed.”
“You have no reason to be embarrassed. You have no control over this.”
“I’ve spent eighteen years learning that I am to be chaste and pure on my wedding night, Liam. I can’t disregard eighteen years of teaching as though it was a dress I’ve outgrown.”
His brow furrowed. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I was so set on making you whole . . . I didn’t know what else to do. The others said you . . . seemed willing.”
I closed my eyes.
“Ellie, I love you. It kills me that I hurt you.”
“It’s ok—” Another wave of pain hit me, and I involuntarily curled up again.
Liam held me to his chest. “What can I do? Tell me what to do.”
The wave of pain faded, and I felt his hand on my cheek, his lips pressed to mine, hesitant as though waiting to see my reaction.
My magic leapt for his, which was buried deep inside him. It glowed and I felt that it was eager to join with me, but it knew it wasn’t time.
I kissed him back, and his energy made a rush to meet mine, giving me enough to make the pain a dull ache.
I leaned back in relief and gasped for breath, but my sudden move scared him.
“Ellie?”
“I’m better. That helped.”
Hope filled his eyes; then they narrowed. “You still don’t look well.”
“The pain is much more manageable.”
“But not gone?”
I didn’t answer. Finn was still on his horse, directly behind the others. His back was to the moon, and dark shadows fell over his face, making it difficult to read. Did he wish they’d let me die? I had a hard time reconciling him with the man who had always been the one to care about my feelings. I suspected he was the first of many to turn from me . . . Or maybe not, since I was dying.
A low vibration filled the air, and Liam’s arms tightened around me.
I recognized the sound. A corsair was nearby.
The men came to attention, slowly drawing their swords, even Finn, although it made sense he would defend himself and his brothers.
“Behind you,” Matthew said, taking a slow step toward us. “About ten feet. Let me see if I can draw him from you.”
“He wants Elena,” Dax said. “The rest of us are just tasty snacks.”
“Too bad he’ll die hungry,” Liam said in a low voice as he took a step toward the horses.
Finn started to dismount, but Liam said, “Stay on your horse.”
I was surprised when Finn obeyed, but I supposed, just like I had issues with reconciling my need for all five men, he couldn’t ignore eleven years of following orders.
Liam took two more steps as Matthew, Dax, and Tobias reached us. Dax and Liam exchanged looks, and then Liam bolted past them.
Multiple things happened at once.
Three snow corsairs leapt from the woods as my three guards sprang into action.
“I am sorry, Elena,” Liam said as he ran me to Finn, then lifted me up into Finn’s outstretched arms.
“Get her to safety. We’ll find you,” Liam said, smacking the horse’s behind.
Finn held me close as his horse took off down the road, away from danger—leaving my men in danger instead.
Finn continued at breakneck speed, and I realized he was the perfect choice to get me out of harm’s way—he was the most adept at riding in precarious situations. But I’d released him and he hadn’t stopped me, so why was he saving me now?
But it didn’t seem to be the best time to ask as I was more concerned about falling off. While the sharp pain in my chest had subsided
, I still felt achy all over and Finn’s lap was different than Matthew’s. It took me several seconds before I realized I didn’t feel a connection to him. By releasing him of his vows, I’d totally released him.
“Will they be okay?” I shouted at him. “Should we go back and help?”
“They’ll be fine. The best thing we can do is get you away from them.”
I suspected he was right, though it still felt wrong leaving them. But then I realized what he’d said. The best thing we can do is get you away from them. Did he mean something more?
We’d traveled down the mountain road for several minutes before the trees began to thin, revealing a road edged with boulders and rocky ground. We rounded a corner and discovered a snow corsair standing in the middle of the road.
Finn jerked the horse to a halt, but by the time we stopped, we were twenty feet from the large cat. It eyed us with a hungry look.
“Elena, stay on the horse. I’ll deal with this.”
I didn’t argue. I couldn’t fight a corsair when I was well, let alone when I was ill. Finn shifted me and kept his eye on the animal as he climbed down. I straddled the horse, wishing I had my own sword. It was still in my bag on my horse.
Finn moved closer to the cat, his sword at the ready. Just as he was about to attack, something large appeared in the sky overhead, blocking out the moonlight. Large wings flapped, and the creature swooped lower, drawing the attention of the corsair.
“It’s impossible,” Finn gasped, taking several steps backward.
Another corsair appeared from behind a boulder near Finn’s horse, which made it skittish. I tightened the reins and rubbed his neck, softly telling him what a good horse was, but nothing soothed him when both corsairs roared at the dracna swooping down with large claws extended.
Finn ran for the horse and reached up to pull me down. “We’ve got to get out of the way.”
As soon as my feet touched the ground, he grabbed my wrist and started running toward the rock wall to our right, while his horse ran for the direction we’d come from. One of the corsairs tried to follow us, but the dracna shot fire from its mouth, blocking the cat’s path, and the corsair squealed in pain.
The moon was bright enough to light our path, but I still stumbled.
Heiress of Light: Magic Reborn (Reverse Harem) Page 19