by Unknown
Could she blame him?
For the concern or the caution?
She spun away.
Safe.
Yes, she was safe here. Had always found safety with Cole.
Her rock.
Back when. Before her own demons had gotten in her way. In their way.
“What happened, Tessa?”
She continued to rub her hands up and down her arms. But she told him, as quickly as she could, what had happened in tonight’s nightmare.
“So it’s getting bolder.”
Shivers brought goosebumps along her bare arms. She faced him. “It. Not who?”
“Figure of speech.”
“In real life, though, it would be a real person.”
He arched a brow.
“No. We’re not going there. No monsters. No weird shit.” Like it wasn’t already weird. She shoved her hands back through her hair.
“You’re safe here, Tessa. Whatever or whoever that is can’t breach my dreams.”
“Why is that?” She spun away from him but then back to face him. Lord, she had to keep moving. Had to find a way to dispel the energy coursing through her system. “Teach me to do the same. To protect my dreams. Protect myself.”
He held her gaze for several long moments before he nodded. Then held out a hand. “First, you need to stop moving. You need to be still.”
“I can’t.”
“Before I can show you anything you need to find your center.”
She shook her head, and rolled onto the balls of her feet then back on her heels. “I can’t be still. I’m too jumpy. Too wired.”
“Tessa.” He advanced on her, wrapped both hands around her shoulders. “Let it go.”
“I know I should. I know I should walk away. I can’t.” She slid her hands up his chest and behind his neck. Pulled his head down and claimed his mouth. Electricity coursed through her. Over her skin. Deep into her belly.
Her lips parted and his tongue invaded, stroking hers. His arms wrapped around her, his fingers digging into her hips. He rocked into her, his erection evident. His desire for her.
She wanted him now. Inside her. Filling her. Cole.
“No.” He tore his mouth from hers. “Bad idea, Tessa.”
“Good idea, Cole.” She threaded her fingers through his hair. “I need to dissipate this energy.”
His eyes darkened. “You want me to help by having sex with you?”
“There was a time you wouldn’t have hesitated.” She rubbed her thumbs in circles at the base of his neck.
He shivered. “That was a long ago. Two different people.”
“Cole.”
“This is nothing more than adrenaline. You were scared. Now you’re safe. You’re —”
“It’s a dream, Cole. Quit arguing and make love to me.”
He stilled. His heavy lidded gaze held hers. “And tomorrow?”
“I don’t want to think about tomorrow.” She brought her hands around to cup his cheeks and run a thumb over his lips. “Right now, all I want is you inside me.”
“God, woman.” He leaned his forehead against hers. “You’re making this difficult.”
“Then quit fighting me.” She pressed her mouth to his and her eyelids fluttered when his lips softened then he took control.
With his mouth still on hers, he lifted her in his arms then lay her on a thick, soft comforter covering a king sized bed before stretching out beside her. A faint light from the bedside lamp cast long shadows across them. Her back arched when his warm hand closed over her bare breast.
Bare. He’d undressed them with his thoughts.
“Cole.”
“Best part of dream sex.”
“Hmmm.” She rolled to her side and slid a hand down his chest and over his flat stomach. Then she wrapped her fingers around his erection and squeezed. “And I thought this was the best part.”
He rocked into her hand. “Maybe there’s more than one best part.”
Still holding him, she pressed her other hand to his chest and pushed him onto his back. “Maybe. Let’s find out.”
“You’re killing me.”
“Not yet.” With another squeeze to his penis, she straddled him, resting her knees on either side of his hips before she leaned forward to lathe her tongue around his left nipple.
His groan echoed through her.
She lifted her head and with his hooded gaze on hers, she squeezed his cock again. Rubbed herself along his length.
He thrust upward, into her hand. Then he wrapped his own hand around hers and with his other, he traced a path from her right breast, down her stomach, to the triangle of hair covering her mound. His gaze locked on hers, he slid his forefinger down and into her.
Her breath caught and she rocked forward.
A small smile tilted the edges of his mouth. “You’re wet.”
“And you’re hard.”
“Total match.” He pushed a second finger into her as he squeezed her hand over his cock.
Sensations rocked her. With her head back and her back arched, and him holding one of her hands around his penis, she pressed her free hand over the hand he had covering her mound. Her hips moved in rhythm with his fingers.
She had to have him inside her.
Him. All of him.
“Cole.” Her hips still rocking slightly, she pulled his fingers from inside her and ran the tip of her finger along his, along the dampness coating his fingers. Dampness marking her desire for him. She trailed his hand over her stomach, to her breast. She let go of his hand to lift herself so the tip of his penis touched the sensitive folds between her legs. Then she met and held his gaze.
He let go of her hand that held him and splayed his fingers at her hips.
Sliding her knees outward, she eased herself onto him. That first resistance of penetration, the thickness of him as he thrust upward, as he filled her, sent fissions of painful pleasure coursing through her. As she opened to let him completely inside.
Cole.
Matching him, downward thrust to his upward thrust, she caught his hands, locked them above his head. She pulled her knees up along his side and leaned forward to press her aching breasts against his chest.
Skin to skin. As much as possible. Him deep inside.
His rhythm intensified. His breath quickened. He thrust harder.
Oh, Lord. So close.
Cole.
Her entire world exploded, fell apart, then came together again.
Cole.
In the dim light of the room, Cole lay on his back on the bed with an arm wrapped around Tessa while she nestled against his side. Asleep in the dream world he’d constructed.
How many times had he dreamed about this? Ached for this?
I don’t want to think about tomorrow.
But tomorrow and yesterday were too closely entwined. Too integral to who and what they each were. What they’d each became. How did he separate those memories? Keep his sanity?
“You’re thinking too hard.” Tessa nuzzled his neck.
“Hmmm.” He angled his head to give her greater access.
She wrapped a bare leg over his, and pressed kisses along his jaw. “Is this what your bedroom really looks like?”
Startled by the question, he glanced around the room. Shit. “No. This is the bedroom I wanted to build for you, for us, if we’d stayed together.”
“Oh.” She tilted her head to look around.
He frowned. Dark wooden beams crossed the ceiling, spaced between pale, white washed pine slats. The walls, painted a warm beige, bracketed floor to ceiling windows covered in what he’d heard Tessa call ecru white lace. “Don’t get too attached. The image is old. Out of date. Not relevant.”
“Something you dredged up out of the past.” Dryness coated her voice.
“Something like that.” So he was an ass. Beat letting her get too close. Right. She lay in his bed. Naked in his arms. “Why did you leave, Tessa?”
“You really want to do this
?” That dryness edged closer to derision. “Technically, I didn’t actually leave.”
There was that scientific mind. Splitting hairs. He wiped his free hand down his face. But she had left. Emotionally slammed a door in his face. “You blocked my access to your dreams. Stayed away from mine. Quit talking to me on the phone. Never came back to me. What do you call that?”
Rejection. Same thing as leaving.
She rolled onto her back, away from him, but her fingertips continued to do a light stroke over his stomach.
He stared at the ceiling of his damned dream bedroom, his free arm behind his head. “Don’t try and feed me that bullshit about it being you and not me.”
“Even if it really was me?”
Without moving his head, he cut his gaze towards her.
“Did you know —” She squeezed her eyes closed and pressed her lips into a tight, thin line. Then she swallowed and opened her eyes to stare at the ceiling. “I’d asked the doctor for sleeping pills?”
He frowned.
“Not because I had trouble sleeping. Because I didn’t want to wake up. I didn’t want to leave the world you made for me. I wanted to stay there. Asleep. With you. Forever.”
Everything stilled inside him. He curled the arm he had under her shoulders, bringing her closer. She curled against his side but wouldn’t look at him. “Tessa.”
She shook her head. “I had that prescription bottle in my hand. All I had to do was open it. I was staring at it when my mother called.”
He waited.
“She hadn’t called to check on me. To say hi. She’d called because her obsession with the latest man of the month was at its peak. Same crap. Different man.”
“You aren’t your mother.”
“I stood there, her going on and on in my ear, with a bottle of pills in my hand. Pills I didn’t need. Pills to feed my obsession. How is that different?”
He shook his head.
“So I went cold turkey. No pills. No dreaming.”
“No me.”
“No you.” Curled against him, she pressed her forehead to his side. “That was the hardest part.”
“You could have let me help. Talked to me instead of shutting me out.”
“I didn’t see a way to do that and not be sucked right back where I was. How could I see you, talk to you, and not dream with you?” She rolled away onto her back and shoved both hands through the long length of her hair. “So maybe it was all you, after all.”
“What?”
“I wanted you too much. I hated being away from you. Every single day, I longed for and lived for the hours I could join you in this world. You were my obsession. And that obsessing was taking over every aspect of my life.”
“Tessa —”
“No.” With the heels of her palms over her eyes, she shook her head. Then she pushed her way out of his bed to stand, suddenly fully clothed, facing him. “My mother is dead, Cole. Dead. She wouldn’t let the wrong guy go and they killed each other.”
“Her choices have nothing to do with you. You’re so much more than she ever wanted to be.” He wiped a hand over his face. Neither of them had a stellar childhood. Her mother had been a bitch. The drunk uncle who raised him hadn’t given two shits about the ten year old kid dumped on his doorstep by a sister more interested in life without a bastard to hold her down. “Look at yourself.”
He indicated her jean clad legs, the loose T-shirt covering the breasts he’d held such a short time ago.
She glanced down. Shrugged. “Vulnerability isn’t my strong suit. Standing here naked would just add to that.”
A mental key clicked inside Cole’s head. Vulnerable. But when she was scared, she ran to him. “And?”
“I —” Her gaze held his. “I wanted clothes. To be dressed.”
“You’ve always had more control than you realized. Even before now.”
She shook her head. “Those were your dreams. Not mine.”
“True. But I didn’t bring you there.”
Her eyes narrowed.
“Any more than I brought you into my dreams tonight or last night.” He tucked several pillows behind his back, cupped a hand behind his head, all the while studying her. “Something chased you in your dreams and you ran to me.”
“Of course I did. I was terrified. We’ve shared dreams. At some level inside me, I must have known you’d let me in.”
“That door’s never been shut, Tessa. Not on my side.” Stop. Rehashing was stupid. So why wasn’t he stopping? “You’ve spent the last several years studying dreams. I’d think you’d have this wired by now. Why run to me?”
Her frown deepened even as her chin raised. “Safety, Cole. I’ve always felt safe with you. Protected.”
“Not enough to have let me in when it counted.”
“Obviously not.” Her words stung. She glanced around the room then back to him. “I’m leaving now, Cole. And I’ll understand if you decide to shut that door on me. It’s been —”
Dammit. He sat up, held out his hand. “Wait.”
“I think we’ve both said more than enough, Cole.” She took two steps back. “Bye.”
He stared at empty space.
Alone. Again.
Early morning light flitted through the lace curtains in Tessa’s kitchen window to dance across the tile floor a few feet from the table where she sat. What a coward.
She ran her thumb over the rim of her coffee cup. Last night with Cole had blown her mind. And she’d run.
Ran when she should have stayed. Faced her demons.
The doorbell pealed, a shrill sound in the quiet stillness of the morning.
Her muscles tight, she pushed away from the table. No one should be anywhere near her home. Not this early. Not on a weekend.
Had the stalker chosen this bright, Saturday morning to take things to the next level?
He’d picked the wrong, damn day.
She made a detour and snatched the fireplace poker on her way to the front door. Once there, she took a quick glance through the peephole.
Cole.
Relief swept through her and she unlatched the door then swung it open. “Hi.”
His smile momentarily lit his dark eyes and creased the dimples in his cheeks. Her heart skipped. The reality of Cole was even more potent than the dream version.
He slid a glance at the poker. “Is that how you greet all your visitors.”
“Only ones I’m not expecting.” She stepped back, waved him inside while resisting an urge to skim her hand over her hair. To pat it in place. “What are you'd doing here?”
He turned towards her. “You didn’t think I’d leave you unprotected, did you?”
“Oh.” Her heart squeezed. “I’m okay during the day.”
“You and your fire poker.”
“A girl has to be prepared.” She shrugged, stashed the poker in the hall closet then led the way to the kitchen. “How did you find me?”
“You’re not the only one good with research.”
“Sit.” She poured him a cup of coffee then settled in her own chair across from him. “I’m not listed anywhere and the house is in a trust.”
“So I’m good at what I do.” He blew across his coffee but kept his gaze locked on hers.
“Just what is it you do?” This was important and she needed to focus. On more than those dark eyes aimed her way, that scruff along his jaw or the way his fingers wrapped around that cup. “When you’re not rescuing people in your sleep?”
“You research dreams. I live them.”
She straightened in her chair. “What does that mean?”
“My job is Dreamwalking.”
Dreamwalking. “As in walking through other people’s dreams?”
“You don’t sound surprised.”
“I’m not. Who do you work for?”
“In a round about way, I work for the Federal government.”
Her fingers tightened around her cup. She held his gaze. “Why are you here, again?�
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“To teach you to protect yourself.” He sat back in his seat. “You pulled back, into yourself there. Why?”
She wet her lips. “Several people claiming to be with the government have tried to access our findings.”
“But you don’t believe them?”
“No.” She sat back also, mirroring his posture. “They were persistent for several weeks, then stopped.”
“And the stalking started afterwards?”
She frowned, thinking back. “Within days of their last request.”
“I’m not with whoever those people are.”
“I know that.” And she did. Cole was one of the good guys. Always had been. “My research involves the control portion of lucid dreaming.”
“And you’ve made some kind of breakthrough?”
“Not really. At least I hadn’t thought so until you mentioned Dreamwalking.” She shook her head. “In general, I steer away from lucid dreaming for myself. But several of our subjects have reported what felt like walking through other people’s dreams. I know it’s possible, but —”
“Did you tell the other researchers about us?”
“Not for a long time.” She threaded her fingers through her hair. “But, yes. Eventually, I did.”
“They pressured you to become a study subject?”
“I turned them down and they backed off.” Too easily, now that she thought about it. “You don’t think those calls were from the government either, do you?”
“I think whoever was behind the calls was after you.”
“But —”
“One of your coworkers may have sold you out, Tessa.”
Shivers chased themselves over her skin. “To who?”
“I’m not sure. But I will find and stop your stalker. It’s my job. It’s what I do.”
“Oh.” She pasted a smile on her face. “And me? What do I do, now?”
“Learn to protect yourself. Let me teach you.” He leaned forward. “That’s part of why I came here today.”
She let go of her held breath. “Why else are you here?”
He ran a hand over his head then reached out to cup her hand in his. “When you left this time, I spent a couple hours thinking. About you. About us.”
“And?”
His mouth curved into a half smile as he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. “And, now that I might have an actual choice in the matter, my choice is to for us to try again. To move forward without closing each other out. Together.”