He deliberated for a moment, “Yes, I guess I am.”
He reached for a lock of her hair twirling it around his finger, holding back the urge to lean forward breathing her in. He warily tucked it over her shoulder with the rest of her silken red curls.
“I’m leaving for Mel’s on Friday at ten am,” he announced. “If you are willing to forgive me, your bags will be packed waiting with mine at the door.”
“And if I can’t do it?” she asked.
Her words burned deep leaving an oozing, gaping wound. Feeling like a lariat was tightening around his throat at the idea of walking away, yet again; he cocked his chest taking a manly stance. “The choice is yours.” He shouldered past her to his desk and turning on the desk light.
“Mason,”
He looked up to see her still standing where he had left her, her back to him. “What about Pulse and the creep?”
“I am nothing if not professional. I won’t shirk my duties. I’ll be there until the jobs done.” he assured her, quickly turning his attention to unopened mail on his desk.
Assuming by the conversation she was choosing not to forgive, he browsed his mail and then got to work on the final phase of security. He’d fax it to Chase before calling it a night.
Aware of every move Mikala made, he tried desperately to appear too busy to notice. The smell of her body wash and shampoo as it wafted under his nose had images of her wet nakedness getting in the way of his work, and the moment he was hit by the sweet smell of pears he was finished. Scribbling a quick note, he grabbed up his paperwork shoving it haphazardly into his briefcase. As he sped past the bathroom he taped the note to the door. Throwing on shoes and jacket, he set the alarm system before speeding out into the night.
***
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to forgive Mason; it was simply that she didn’t know how.
Mikala didn’t know how she was going to get over the things that had happened. The feeling of abandonment when he walked away mixed with the loss of Charlie was almost too much to bear.
Brushing out her hair a sudden lump formed in her throat, she swallowed back the threat of tears thinking of how easy it would be to just let it all go and fall into Mason’s arms.
She shrugged into Mason’s robe deciding they should talk, she’d open up and tell him finally what his walking away did to her and plead with him never to do it again.
When she opened the door, the note caught her eye as it flew up in the swift breeze, she read the words I had to go out and her stomach rolled with that sick familiar feeling of being left alone again.
Her eyes scanned the loft as if the note didn’t exist and Mason would be sitting at his desk or cuddled up with a book in bed or watching TV, she found herself in the kitchen unscrewing the cap on a bottle of vodka, raising it to her lips.
With the bottle half empty before she knew what she was doing, she slammed it onto the counter without recapping it, going to bed before she finished the entire thing.
She lay in bed with her eyes focused on a spot on the ceiling while the room spun out of control. “Why does everyone abandon me?” she asked the empty room. “Why do I have to be all alone?”
Her eyes drifted closed, sending her into quiet darkness.
There was soft music playing off in the distance and a haunting chill in the air. Goosebumps formed on the surface of Mikala’s skin, she wrapped her arms across her chest to stop shaking. It was dark, but not so dark that she couldn’t make out shapes of people at a close distance. She opened her mouth to speak but had no tongue, searching her open mouth desperately with her fingers. A hand grasped her wrist, pulling her across the room to where a tiny lace draped basinet sat empty. She turned to see the face of her captor but it was hidden behind a sad theatrical mask. Her body was wheeled around to face a row of masked people all dressed in black calling her name. As each stepped forward, they removed their mask revealing a piece of her past. The first were her parents in the front seat of their car, as she watched them die from the back seat after the horrific accident caused by a drunk driver. A repeat of the first scene replaced by different events, revealed the people that came and left her world just as fast. A multitude of foster parents, some that treated her well and many that simply fed and housed her dutifully for the money, streamed past like a slideshow. The faces of many other kids she had briefly shared her life with and then left her, flashed before her eyes.
Suddenly encircled by flames, she stood on the dance floor of Pulse while people danced around ignoring her as the flames closed in. A hand reached out and she looked up into Mason’s smiling face, he called her name but the flames were too high and she was too frightened to reach out further, until she couldn’t see him anymore. She could only hear him calling her name repeatedly…Mikala, Mikala Baby…
“Mikala!” Mason yelled into her face, her eyes sprung open.
She found herself standing at the side of Mason’s bed stark naked and shaking. Mason was on his knees, holding her arms as if he were restraining her.
“How did I…?” she started to ask.
“I don’t know, I woke up and you were stand here shaking …and very much asleep,” he said. “You’re cold, climb in.”
He lifted the covers settling her into his side not trying to hold her, simply tucking the sheets between them. “You want to talk?” he asked.
“No.” She was quick to answer.
“Are you warm enough, I can get another blanket,” he asked, rising from the bed as she clamped onto his arm, yanking him back.
“Stay right here. I don’t need a blanket, just don’t leave.”
He brushed her hair back from her face and stared intently for a few seconds into her heartrending eyes, then settled back onto the bed, turning off the light.
“I’ll be right here when you wake.”
His voice sounded sad and she had to wonder if he was as confused as she was.
***
Mason woke to Mikala’s body draped over his. Her face turned into the crook of his neck, her bare breasts pushed against his chest and the warm, welcoming heat of her sex pushed against his morning arousal. He swallowed hard when his heart began to pound in his chest like a steel drum and his cock pulsed standing to immediate attention between her thighs. He didn’t dare move for fear that he would rouse her and she’d bolt from the room. He was delirious from the heat of her body, wanting nothing more than to be inside of her, feeling her wet heat as he made love to her. He held off as long as he could, before cautiously embracing his hands over the globs of her ass spreading her thighs apart.
Mikala drew in a deep breath, sighing when Mason’s finger slowly glided between her folds, her arms unfolded from her sides travelling along Mason ribcage and down his hips to grasp hold of his outer thighs between hers. She raised her hips slightly taking hold of Mason’s cock and feeding him into her wet opening. His arm wrapped cautiously over her back holding her to his chest while his hips rocked and his dick slithered in and out of her with an intentionally relaxed tempo. He was enjoying the tight warmth of her and he knew she was enjoying his deliberate pace, with each quiet breath she moaned out.
Mikala covered the hand he held at the back of her thigh with hers and for a moment he wanted to believe it meant something on an intimate level, but shook the thought from his head, slightly increasing his pace. Their breathing was becoming more labored, Mikala’s moaning remained quiet and sedate, the connection felt more personal than any other sexual encounter they has shared.
Their hands locked together holding like they each feared to disconnect and fall away from one another, there was a quiet bond as Mason’s cock slid through Mikala’s wet sex lips working them together into a state of controlled ecstasy. Mason kept a painstaking stride as a strangled whimper broke from Mikala’s mouth, her hot breath caressing the sensitive skin on his neck as he whispered her name softly and she clamped tightly around his cock, her orgasm bathing over him. He pulled from her, his seed exploded over the cr
ack of her ass drizzling onto the sheets.
With the strong need to kiss her and the knowledge that she set a no kissing deal into the rules of play; he touched his lips to the top of her head holding them there until she started to move. Mikala slid from his body onto her back and pulling the sheet around her. Sad for the separation, he swung his feet over the beds edge sitting with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.
Neither one saying a word, she rose from the bed holding her bruised ribs and dashed into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. He heard the lock click into place. Mason got to his feet, pulled a pair of briefs from his drawer sliding them on. He stripped the sheets from the bed and gathered what laundry he had from the floor, throwing it all into the washer before starting the coffeemaker.
His own worst enemy, he beat himself near death over giving into desire and having sex with Mikala. Knowing it was wrong after giving her his ultimatum. He poured a cup of coffee and watched the steam swirl elegant waves into the air.
“Washrooms free,” Mikala announced, casually taking a mug from the cupboard.
Mason wanted to pull her into his arms and insist she snap out of it, stop fucking with him and be happy for fucks sake. He wanted to throw her over his knee and spank her like a naughty child until she admitted she needed him. And he wanted to tell her he loved her more than anything and would go to the ends of the earth to prove it. But because he was just as stubborn as she was, he dropped his eyes to the floor, leaving the room like a wounded puppy.
The next few days were going to be hell as he waited on the verdict.
After spending the night tossing and turning, Mason lay staring up at the ceiling wondering how the day would transpire. He almost didn’t want to leave his bed in case of what he found. This was the day that things would be clarified. He would no longer have to worry where he stood or what it all meant. And although he played out each scenario in his head, preparing himself, he couldn’t truly be sure of the outcome.
As he stood at the side of his bed staring up at the hideaway, he noted Mikala sleeping soundly, no indication of her decision. Not looking over at the door as he walked to the kitchen, he flipped on the coffeemaker he had readied the night before, forcing himself to take a few cleansing breaths to calm himself. He filled a mug with coffee, deciding to shower and shave before starting breakfast.
His feet stilled as his gaze crossed the room to the loft entrance. He bit into his lower lip drawing in a deep breath when he noted his bags sitting alone at the door. His chest constricted, his mouth went dry and he tried to swallow back the lump that sat like a lead boulder in his throat. His eyes stung with tears as he straightened his back holding his head high disappearing into the washroom and climbing into the shower. He held his face into the spray of the shower head openly crying, not a manly decision, but it was all he had and he didn’t much give a shit.
Arrangements had been formulated in the event Mikala ended up not going to Mel’s, a body guard would immediately take Mason’s place. He had chosen to become estranged, although it was far from what he truly wanted, he could never turn his back completely, therefore he pulled in favors to make certain her safety came first.
Once Mason was dressed and stood in the kitchen waiting for the toaster to pop, he sent a text to Chase making sure the new arrangement was understood. He looked at his watch seeing it was nine forty five knowing the next fifteen minutes would be cruel. Deciding to pass on toast, he thought it better to just leave instead of dragging out the inevitable.
Mason couldn’t force himself to say goodbye, standing frozen in the open doorway with his bags in his hands and his keys held between his teeth. Aware from the noise in the kitchen that Mikala was awake, he anxiously rushed out the door.
The door clicked as the lock engaged and Mason reached for the elevator button. The loft door flew open and Mikala came bursting into the hall. She grabbed his arm dragging him back inside.
Turning his wrist so they could both see his watch she said, “Ten minutes, I have ten fucking minutes.”
“What? I thought…”
“You thought wrong you stupid ass,” she said, securing the door yanking him into the kitchen. “Have coffee or eat something while I get ready, my alarm didn’t go off, fucking piece of shit!”
“Wait!” Mason roared, causing Mikala to stop, spinning round to face him.
“When your bags weren’t at the door I thought…was I wrong?” Mason gingerly asked.
Mikala walked forward placing her hands on Mason’s chest. “I packed my bags up in the hideaway last night. They were too heavy for me, my ribs still hurt, and you were asleep. I was going to leave a note on your pillow asking you to help me get them down, but I fell asleep and my stupid alarm fucked up. Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye?”
Mason fought back the urge to wrap his arms around her. “Does this mean I’m forgiven?”
“I’m going to try really, really hard to leave the past where it belongs. You’re right, we can’t change it and there are parts I need to hold on to, but I can’t blame you for leaving because that’s all I wanted to do, run away. I guess in a way I was jealous,” she said, holding her hand to his cheek.
Wasting another minute seemed senseless. Mason lifted her into his arms spinning her in a circle before depositing her at the bathroom door. “Now you have five minutes, sugar.”
“Yes sir,” she said, turning away with a salute of her hand to her brow, as his hand made stinging contact with her ass cheek.
With a new spring in his step, he loaded their bags into the truck reminding himself to talk to her regarding what to pack for a weekend getaway.
He was sure his sister had a kitchen sink.
Once they had stopped for fresh coffee and half a dozen muffins to keep them going for the four hour drive to Connecticut, they hit the open highway. Mikala unbuckled her seatbelt sliding over to the center of the bench seat and fastening in beside him. She slid her hand into Mason’s and he rested it in his lap with a smile.
The drive to Mystic was always a relaxing one as they drove through quaint little towns along the way. It was a welcome escape from city life. Fresh air and sunshine topped the experience and though it was on the chilly side, Mason rolled his window down a crack sucking in a deep breath.
Conversation was kept to Mason pointing out places of interest, and telling of crazy times spent doing crazy things with his buddies back in high school. He left Mystic when he moved to Boston to attend Police College and had called it home ever since.
“We’ll stop soon for lunch, Captain Jack’s okay with you?” he asked.
Mikala smiled fondly when she remembered the first time Mason brought her home to meet his mom and they stopped at Captain Jack’s. They had the endless shrimp dinner and she laughed at the way it was served up in small metal sand pails lined with heavy paper, she must have had three all to herself. And as it turned out Captain Jack was a lady, Jacklyn was her name and a good friend of Mason’s family.
“Great!” she said, eagerly.
Captain Jack’s looked just the same as she remembered. Tables covered with red and white checker tablecloths and chairs that looked like a lumberjack had carved them out of a tree. The floors and walls looked like barn board with thick carved beams running the length of the building along the ceiling. Modern music played in the background and the kitchen area was open enough that patrons could watch their meals being prepared. The staff were all dressed in white shirts and black pants with hats that reminded her of Pirates of The Caribbean. They scurried around laughing and joking with customers, she couldn’t help but think what a fun place it would be to work.
A large blackboard at the door supplied the menu for the day, since it was fish and chip Friday that’s what they ordered, Mason chose Cod, Mikala Halibut. Their beer arrived in heavy glass steins and they tapped them together before taking large swigs.
“I think we should talk before we get to Mel’s,” Mikala said,
setting her glass down and wiping bubbling foam from her upper lip.
“Is this a rule thing?” he asked warily, hoping she wasn’t going to hold him to the crazy rules much longer.
“I’m throwing away the rule book,” Mikala smiled, reaching for Mason’s hand. “I’d like there to be an us and a we.”
“I’d really like that too, you have no idea how fucking much I’d like that, sugar.” Mason tucked her hand between both his, raising it to his lips for a kiss.
“I’m pretty sure I have an idea.” she grinned, her mood shifting as she looked deep into Mason’s eyes. “I’m so sorry I’ve been such a bitch. I was so angry with you for so long. Staying angry meant I didn’t have to face my own demons, demons I’m just starting to uncover. Leaving me wasn’t fair Mason, but I get why you did and I think I finally understand. Chase helped me understand.”
“I wish I could explain it better, but when we lost Charlie my whole world died…I wanted to die…that’s why I took the assignment in Afghanistan.” A single tear rolled over his cheek, he quickly swiped it away. “I was selfish and closed my eyes to the fact that you lost him too. My mind was so fogged over with grief that I failed you. I promise I’ll spend the rest of my days making it up to you, for neglecting you so badly.”
Mikala’s brows furrowed as she stared into Mason’s face, the air zapped from her lungs as reality and pain grasped hold of her heart. “Oh my god, you went to Afghanistan on a suicide mission,”
Embarrassed, he nodded his head, dropping his eyes to his empty glass, his hold on her hand loosened but she wouldn’t allow him to pull away holding his hand tight in hers. “I’m so happy you didn’t succeed, I couldn’t have handled losing you too.”
“But you did lose me,” he said, looking up to meet her eyes. “When I left…”
Mikala's Passion (Pulse Series Book 2) Page 14