Chapter ten
Chris went shopping before he went into work. He tried to think of something more original than chocolates, but failed miserably, so he bought the biggest box he could find and a card that was hopefully romantic and manly. He rehearsed the lines he was going to say, about how beautiful she was, and how happy he would make her, then stepped into the nurse’s office for an update and found one of his rugby team mates reading her notes. “Hey,” Richard said, in his usual jocular fashion, “don’t tell me you’re after this case as well.”
Chris shook his head, “She’s open to Jeff isn’t she?”
“She was, he contacted me in an oddly cryptic fashion, said something about a conflict of interest.” He paused and looked at his old friend, “I hope you’re okay with that, I know this is normally your ward, it’s just that I did a post in a spinal injuries unit and I could do with the update.”
Chris took a deep breath in, he remembered her careful questions about him being ashamed of her disability. He wasn’t ashamed, and if people had questions and reactions, then he was going to face them. “It’s her that I’m interested in.” he said softly.
Richard stared at him for a moment, then smiled, “I’ll look after her mate”, he said heartily, and Chris watched him leave the office.
Harry was reading when Richard knocked on the door, she smiled at him and slowly pulled herself into a sitting position. “Are you part of the surgical team?” she said quizzically in a voice that he wanted to hear more of.
“Actually I’m your new consultant, Jeff said that he was a friend of yours, he thought it might be more comfortable if you saw me.”
“Okay then,” she said with another lovely smile. She put her book down and tugged her arm out of her sling, “I’ll grit my teeth while you do your usual poking.”
“Thank you.” He said softly, he peeled back the bandages and watched her bite her lip. “Let me know if it gets too uncomfortable.” Afterwards Richard sat in the nurse’s office and accepted a cup of coffee.
“How is she doing?” the charge nurse asked.
“She’s doing well.” He wrote up his notes, and looked up at the nurse with a smile. “I can see why Chris is going a bit mad”.
Chris went back after his theatre list, he handed her the chocolates, and she smiled at him and gestured to her bedside table. “Can you put them down for me?” she asked, and he put them down awkwardly on top of a much larger box of the same variety. He was about to ask her how she was when he heard a voice in the doorway, He turned around to see a man in a well cut suit with two cups of espresso.
“Hi,” he said, “I’m Police Constable Andrews, they sent me to apologise for my colleague’s performance the other night and to see if this would be convenient time to talk to you.”
“Of course,” she said, her smile widening as he held out one of the coffees.
“I broke my leg a couple of years ago, and I spent a whole fortnight without a decent drink.”
“It’s driving me wild,” she acknowledged, and took an appreciative mouthful.
“Well I’ll come back later,” Chris told her, and she smiled at him as unconvincingly as before.
PC Andrews was still there when he went back at lunch time, he had procured sushi from somewhere, and Harry was talking to him more animatedly than he had seen her since before their disastrous night together. “I’ll come back later.” He said again, annoyed to notice how comfortable the policeman looked. His afternoon clinic overran and he was starving, by the time he reached her room, there was already a crowd. He got paged on the way to the mess and he had to start his night on call on an empty stomach.
He went to see her the next morning, although he knew it was probably a mistake. He was in a bad mood and he was missing her, he wanted to tell her that, but he didn’t know how to. She was reading a book when he went in, and she smiled at him, a smile that didn’t really reach her eyes. “I was half expecting to see your policeman friend here.” He said casually. She arched an eyebrow at him and didn’t answer. “So he took all your facts down?”
“Yes,” she said coolly, and he felt his irritation mount.
“I didn’t realise that flirting was part of their training.” He knew he’d overstepped the mark, but he couldn’t stop, he had to make another remark about her flirting back. He watched the colour rise in her neck, and the silence grew long and tense.
“Chris if I possibly could then I would leave this room, can I ask you to at least have the decency to go?” He left in silence and went to eat breakfast in the comfortable chatter of the doctor’s mess. The tomatoes and eggs were more overcooked than usual, and he replayed the interaction in his mind and wondered how it had gone so badly wrong. He wanted to tell her that she should be his. He would ride in on a white charger in any situation, and all he wanted was for her to be there waiting without another man already trying to rescue her. He replayed all the situations that she had needed rescuing from. He had embarrassed her horribly after the fund raiser, he had left her to explain to his best friend that she couldn’t walk, and he had turned her down when she had offered her lovely body to him. He stopped pushing his food around his plate and drove slowly home, he was an idiot and he didn’t deserve to be liked by her or anybody.
Harry battled one handed with her breakfast and re-read her magazines, she was too angry with Chris to get upset, and she found herself missing the comfortable routine of the portacabin and her friends. Mike was missing her too, he slipped out of the IT suite carrying the latest copy of her favourite magazine. He found his way up to the surgical wards and waved his badge hopefully at the nurse near the door, she pointed to a computer rather truculently displaying an error message and he nodded and smiled. Harry was talking to a medical student, he was presumably supposed to be practicing taking a history, but he seemed to be talking about himself. “Hi,” he said firmly and sat down opposite the young man. It worked, and the student floated apologetically back to the nurses office. She smiled at him, and he felt the old tingle. “I really am sorry about Saturday.” he said softly.
“Doesn’t worry, we all find it unsettling when things change.”
“Are you okay with me and Julia?”
“I’m really pleased about you and Julia, you are two of my dearest friends.”
“She’s not as beautiful as you,” he couldn’t help saying, “I don’t think anyone is.”
“Mike that’s not true, and don’t say that to Julia.”
“I won’t,” he touched her hand, the only part of her body aside from her face that wasn’t bandaged or sore. “But will we still be us?” he asked softly, “Will we still do things just you and I?”
“I hope so,” She told him, affectionately, “otherwise I’d really miss you.”
Mike walked back to the IT suite feeling as though he was floating on air. He remembered the day Harry had arrived in their scruffy little portacabin. She had smiled at him when he had brought her a cup of coffee and he hadn’t really ever recovered. The thing was that she had become his friend, he loved his place in her life, the parties and the music. It had opened up a world to him that he had really only seen on the television before. Now he had been offered a way to stay in her world, stay close to her, and also the chance to like someone who seemed astonishingly ready to like him back. He made coffee for the rest of the IT team and sympathetically helped a medical student navigate the process of resetting the password for her email account.
Belinda watched him through the window of her little office. She could tell by the change in his manner that he had finally made peace with Harry. It was a relief, the atmosphere was still subdued, but at least the tension had dissipated slightly. The whole team had gone into mourning when she had informed them of the accident on Monday. They had raised enough money to buy her the latest handheld game playing device by midmorning, and the present was still sitting on her desk, making her feel guilty whenever she looked at it.
She had been in charge of the IT depa
rtment for eight years now. It had not been an easy journey for her; years working as a secretary to put herself through university, then more years as a secretary in this very hospital while she studied management courses and took extra classes. When she finally got the post managing this team, the staff hadn’t made it easy for her. She knew that they went out drinking on a Friday, she heard the references to jokes and stories that didn’t include her, but she had held her tongue and slowly and grudgingly they had started to respect her.
When a young female applicant had finally appeared in her recruitment tray, she remembered the excitement she had felt; an ally at last and maybe a friend. She had been worried that the primarily male interview panel would give her the difficult time she remembered from many unsuccessful interviews. They hadn’t given her a difficult time at all. By the end of the half hour of questions she found herself interrogating Harry about the finer points of programming in such a severe fashion that the woman from human resources had finally intervened. She had to admit that Harry had passed with flying colours. She knew her computing inside out.
Harry had gotten the job straight out of university, she had arrived in the department with youthful enthusiasm and a constant supply of freshly baked cookies from the nearby supermarket. All she needed to do was lift her head up and someone made her a cup of coffee, and all of the sexist jokes had disappeared overnight. Belinda remembered how badly she had reacted when Harry had asked her if she would be joining them in the local wine bar on her first Friday in the job. She still felt ashamed of the way she had rejected the younger woman’s friendliness, and she could still see the disapproval in the eyes of her team. She had spent the past four years quietly resenting Harry’s easy charm, but she had to admit that the office was horribly quiet without her.
Finally, when her conscience was really pricking her she picked up the present and the card that absolutely everybody had signed and navigated to the right bit of the hospital. She waved her id badge and followed the sound of laughter, then she took a deep breath and opened the curtains. Her first thought was that it wasn’t fair. Harry was wearing a pair of blue striped pyjamas that made her look effortlessly feminine and elegantly fragile, then she felt bad, Harry had lost a lot weight and from the way she was holding her arm it was clearly very painful.
“I’m so glad you came,” she said sincerely, making sure that she held the older woman’s eyes. She introduced the two nurses who picked up their sandwiches and nodded unenthusiastically at her before they disappeared back into the office. “They’ve taken to eating their lunch in here, it’s really nice.” Harry explained. Belinda nodded, she wanted to say that people weren’t usually really nice to her, but instead she held out the present and explained that everyone was missing her. “I’m really missing all of you, I keep wondering what is happening to the blood results, and if Simon got his new computer.”
“He didn’t and he’s driving me mad,” Belinda admitted conspiratorially. She opened the present and the card at Harry’s request, reflecting for a moment on how restricted she must feel. “Sorry,” she added awkwardly, “I guess a two handed console is not much use to you at the moment.
“It’s okay, it’s a nice gesture,” Harry shifted uncomfortably and rubbed the back of her neck. Belinda looked around the little cubicle, and Harry followed her gaze and felt a flush of embarrassment colouring her throat. The nurses had promised her that all the tubes and the bulkiest of the bandages would be removed by the end of the day, and she realised that the waiting was really starting to frustrate her. She closed her eyes for a moment, then she opened them again and treated Belinda to her most convincing smile.
“Are you alright?”
“Of course,” Harry said ruefully, “now tell me, what am I missing?”
Belinda started talking to fill the awkward silence, then she started enjoying herself, making Harry laugh with anecdotes about their eccentric team mates, and of course their ongoing feud with the training department. She stayed with her until the start of visiting time when Libby arrived, then she felt self-conscious again and fled back to the safety of her flowcharts.
By Thursday lunchtime Harry was really bored, she had watched more box sets and read more magazines than she cared to remember. The smell of coffee pulled her out of one of her favourite books, and she looked up into the warm eyes of the handsome policeman. “Hello again, have you got more questions for me?”
“Not really,” he said with a grin, “in fact I’m shamelessly abusing my position. I was passing the hospital and I thought you might need a cup of coffee.”
“I’d love a cup of coffee.”
“Well that’s good to know. I wondered if you wanted me to leave my phone number, I’d be happy to drop off a cup whenever you needed it.”
“Thank you.” She smiled at the big handsome man with the impeccable social skills, the man who navigated all the things that she felt vulnerable about with elegant ease. She smiled into his easy humour and drank her double espresso, wondering frustratedly why she couldn’t stop thinking about Chris. PC Andrews touched her hand when he left, she didn’t feel a tingle and she didn’t feel short of breath. Her traitorous mind flooded with images of Chris smiling, Chris touching her face and of course Chris kissing her. She had been hoping he would appear with his usual sexy scruffy style, but for once he seemed to have taken her at her word and she realised that she missed him and wished that she had something to distract her restless mind with. When Julia arrived, she greeted her with an enthusiasm that was almost desperate.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes I’m fine, today is the first day I haven’t felt really sore, but it’s made me realise how little there is to do in here.”
“Good, I was hoping you’d say that. My consultant gave me the afternoon off because of my recent accident trauma, and my father has been kind enough to buy me a new car.”
“So he’s still feeling bad about forgetting your birthday?”
“Awful,” Julia said with satisfaction, “so I thought we could start our holiday. I know we’re running a few days early, but I phoned them and rooms are both free.” Harry had managed not to cry all week. All through the painful and humiliating procedures, and the horrible sense of helplessness she felt when she looked at the sling on her arm, but she started crying when Julia mentioned the holiday.
“Don’t you want to go?”
“Of course I want to go. That’s why I’m crying.”
“So shall I pack your bags?”
“Julia how am I going to cope? I can’t transfer one handed, and there’s all sorts of practical things that you don’t need me to spell out for you.”
“Harry you are my oldest friend, going on holiday with you every year is one of the most important traditions at the end of my summer.” She squeezed her friend’s hand and touched her face, “I thought I was going to lose you last weekend,” she added unsteadily.
Harry looked at her for a long moment, then she smiled, “Are you sure about this Julia?”
“I’m very sure, and Richard has some contacts up in the Lakes, there’s somebody he knows who can come and change your dressings. So not only am I very sure, I also know I can definitely look after you.”
“Okay then,” Harry said softly, then she smiled at her friend, and felt the tears starting to slide down her face again.
Julia started to pack her bags, “the rest of your stuff is in the car.”
“What about Mike?”
“I told him he could come up next weekend, I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course that is,” she took a deep breath and smiled at her, “here goes.” The charge nurse stood in the office door and watched their transfer. She had grown fond of Harry, the quiet way she had faced her injuries and her gracious acceptance of the procedures she had had to endure. So she breathed a sigh of relief when the overweight woman in the badly chosen green skirt had helped her back into her wheelchair, and she smiled at her and handed her the take home prescriptio
n that the junior doctor had already prepared.
“When I paged Richard this morning I asked him to organise your discharge.” Julia explained, and Harry nodded her thanks, thinking about the next transfer in the crowded parking bays.
When they stepped out into the rain and the smell of fumes, Harry found her anxiety alleviated by amusement, “You bought exactly the same car as before.”
“I like this kind of car.”
“And so do I.” The transfer went more smoothly the second time. Despite her sling, Harry found to her relief that she could help the process a lot with her right arm.
“You’ve lost a lot of weight,” Julia told her gently, “there’s hardly anything left of you.”
“The food was horrible.”
“Well I’m going to stand over you until you eat at least half of your dinner.”
“I’ll eat the whole lot if you let me have a glass of wine.”
“It’s a deal.”
They took the busy road out to the north of the city, and passed the exuberantly competitive jostle of Caribbean takeaways and Indian clothes shops. The city faded quickly behind them, and the soft ridges of the Peaks started to appear. “Thank you for this.” Harry said finally, “You’re a good friend.”
“I keep thinking about the moment when the car hit you.” Julia told her, “there was so much blood and you were so still. I just kept having the same thought in my head over and over.”
“What was that?”
“I kept thinking that I didn’t tell you how much I appreciated you.”
“Thank you.” Harry said softly.
They followed the signs for Hawkshead, to the rambling old building that now functioned as a hotel. They picked up the key from under the mat and followed the book lined corridor to the same big suite of rooms that they always shared.
Chris reached the ward at around the same time as Harry took her first mouthful of wine. Her bed had already been given to a woman who had fallen off her motorbike. The ward sister was sympathetic but slightly distant, and he remembered his very public spat with the beautiful woman he couldn’t stop thinking about. Reluctantly he drove home, cutting through the lights just as they changed. Jeff was waiting for him in the lounge, he handed him a glass of wine and stood with his back to the fire. “I walked all the way up to the ward carrying an enormous bunch of flowers.” Chris said calmly, “and they told me that she had gone on holiday, destination unknown.”
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