by Flynn, Donna
“Mercy, stop,” he commanded pulling back to look down on her, his own eyes misted with unshed tears. “I don’t blame you for anything. It was our decision to keep this all from you, we shoulder the blame.”
He had taken the blame from her shoulders and placed it on his own, something only those who loved deeply would do, and she was humbled. “You lied to protect me, I know that now, but it’s such a shock to find out I am the very thing I have always feared.” He blanched visibly, and she wondered how many times he had listened to her rant about wolves and what monsters they were, saying nothing in response. Too many, she decided, and each time he must have died a little inside. She had shamed him and everything he was, turned her back on him, and didn’t even bother to listen to why he had kept the secret in the first place.
“We love you, Mercy, and I swear at the time it seemed to be the best solution,” he told her, hugging her tighter. He felt her stiffen but she didn’t pull away, which made him happier than he had been in weeks.
“I love you too,” she murmured, trying not to cry again, hating that even though she knew how much he loved her she still felt fearful in his arms.
“What’s going on?” Cade asked, walking into the kitchen, his hair unruly, the top button on his jeans undone, and his unshaven face tight with worry.
“I love you,” Mercy told him, moving from Lucan’s arms to his, hugging him close and fighting the panic that rose up inside of her, reminding herself that he was the same brother she had always loved. “I’m sorry for the way I have been acting,” she murmured against his broad chest.
“We deserved it for keeping you in the dark,” he told her, happy to be able to hug her once again, even if it felt forced and awkward.
“You didn’t deserve my horrible behavior, but I appreciate you saying it.” She pulled back and looked to Marlo who watched it all with a tight smile. “Thank you.”
“Oh, we are not done yet. We still have a lot of work to do, but one step at a time,” she assured her. Mercy might have made a small breakthrough, but she still had a lot of work to do before she was ready to embrace being a werewolf. She also knew from talking to Gregory that he was worried about how Mercy’s anger was affecting his son, who was her mate. It might not have been such a problem if Alec had not already claimed her before some of his pack, but now that he had his wolf instinctively wanted its mate and wolves were not by nature patient beings. She wasn’t concerned, though. Alec was the key to helping Mercy accept what she was. If she would allow him to aid her, the process would be easier, it was always that way with Were mates.
“Anyone up for some breakfast?” Lucan asked with a smile.
“I’m starved,” Mercy said, shocked to find that she actually was. “How about I make the toast and you fry the eggs?”
“Sounds good,” he said, leaning over to place a kiss on the top of her head. He missed the fear that flashed in her eyes and how quickly she pulled away from him.
Marlo saw it, though, and knew that although she was trying Mercy still had a long way to go before she was over her fears.
“You are a miracle-worker,” Cade said next to her.
“Don’t let her fool you, she’s still afraid, but being near you both and seeing you’re not the monsters she fears will help her begin to accept her new life.” She walked to the table and sat down, watching Mercy as she worked with her brother, quick to note the many flinches and quick retreats the girl made when Lucan got too close for her comfort. It was clear she was trying, but her fears were still very alive and it would take time for that to change. Mercy placed a fresh cup of coffee in front of her, smiling tentatively, and she returned that smile with one of her own, confident she could help Mercy learn to accept that her life was not over, just different.
Cade watched his sister carefully and realized Marlo was right. Mercy smiled, but if you looked close, you could see it was forced. She said all the right things to make Lucan happy, but he sensed her fear and knew Marlo had been right. There was still a lot of work to be done before she truly accepted them for what they were. He sighed and joined Marlo at the table, accepting a cup of coffee from Mercy with a tight smile. His fingers brushed hers in the exchange, and he felt her hand tremble in response, which made him long for the easy relationship they used to share.
Chapter Three
After a few days, there was less strain between Mercy and her brothers. They had talked about why they kept the fact she was werewolf from her and although it still bothered her, she understood their reasons for what they had done. Still, there was an underlying fear inside of her that wouldn’t go away. She couldn’t help but worry that something would anger one of them, and cause them to shift, which was stupid because they never had in the past. Still, she couldn’t shake off the trepidation she felt in their presence, no matter how hard she tried. She supposed that had to do with her lack of knowledge about werewolves. In time, she hoped that she would come to understand what exactly it was that brought on their shift, so then maybe she wouldn’t be so afraid.
Talk that morning turned to Christmas and how many things they had to do to get ready, but she was not ready to think about another holiday when their house would be filled with werewolves. No matter what they planned, it wouldn’t be the same as the past, and she wouldn’t get the one thing she truly wanted anyway. No one could restore her humanity now that her wolf had been unleashed. “I’m going to go outside for a while, I need to think,” she told them, needing to get away from the conversation before she said something that might upset one of them. They both looked worried as she rose to her feet, but she plastered a fake smile on her face, placed her dishes in the sink and left.
She walked out of the house to the small rose garden Lucan had planted for her the first week they had moved into their new home and sat on the bench amongst the near-dead bushes, picking the last blood-red bloom and lifting it to her nose. It was an unusually warm day for winter in the mountains of North Carolina and for the first time in weeks, she relaxed, closing her eyes and savoring the sun that beat down on her, warming her exposed skin.
*****
Alec stood amongst the trees that lined the forest entrance after taking a morning run, watching Mercy with longing in his heart. He had not meant to stop and stare, but to see her so relaxed with the sun shining down on her, her eyes closed, holding the flower to her nose, was priceless. Even without makeup, dressed in flannel pants and a tank top, her feet bare and her glorious red hair pulled into a ponytail, she was still stunning. This was the Mercy he knew and loved, and he missed being around her and seeing her so relaxed. His need to reach out and touch her was overwhelming, but he dared not approach her. She had made it clear she did not want him around, and for the moment, he had to respect her wishes or face losing her forever, and that was not an option.
“You’re not even going to talk to me, now?” Mercy said opening her eyes and lifting her head to look at him. Her breath caught in her throat at the unexpected sight he made leaning against a tree, his shirt off, a fine sheen of sweat glistening on his chiseled chest, wearing shorts that displayed his muscular legs to perfection. His feet were bare, a sign that he had been in wolf form sometime before he arrived and that troubled her, but she kept reminding herself as he walked slowly closer that he would never harm her.
“I didn’t want to bother you,” he said, trying to hide his surprise that she was talking to him at all. She had made it plain in the last few weeks she didn’t want him around and now that she had made the first move and spoken to him, he didn’t want to ruin it by being too aggressive. So miserable was he by his exclusion from her life that even this little crumb of her attention was better than nothing at all.
She looked at him quizzically, then sighed. “Or you were afraid I would scream and run off like I have so many times recently,” she told him, ashamed of her past actions.
“I don’t blame you for being afraid,” Alec said, stopping a few feet away still hesitant, not wanting to s
care her off.
Mercy stared up at him and a sudden warmth overcame her that had nothing to do with the sun, and everything to do with the rush of emotions she always felt in his presence. She wanted his touch, craved his kiss and his warm embrace, but she was terrified of getting too close to him. There was no room in her life for anything until she could deal with being a werewolf, but her heart didn’t seem to understand that like her brain did. She had to put her feelings for Alec on hold, but it was achingly hard with him standing before her looking like a Greek god come to life.
“Mercy,” he said, cutting into her thoughts, aware by the sudden rise of her body temperature she was assessing him with more than a mild interest.
“Oh sorry, I was thinking.” She looked down so he would not see the blush on her cheeks that she knew must be showing if the sudden rise in her body temperature were anything to go by.
“If you want to be alone, I will go,” Alec offered.
“No, we need to talk,” she said, patting the bench seat in invitation.
Alec sat down next to her, waiting quietly while she gathered her courage to tell him what she needed to say, but his worry that she might be giving him the kiss-off was palpable. He knew she desired him, but her fear currently outweighed that desire. Every time he was near he smelled her fear and his wolf responded, wanting to be free and prove he was worthy of her, which Alec knew would only make her more afraid. So far, he had been able to deny his wolf, but he feared that eventually he would lose control. That was the reason he had been running: to allow his wolf to vent and let off steam so that it would be easier to keep in check.
“Alec, you know I care about you, but for this to work I need time,” she finally said.
He looked down at the ground, dreading what she would say next. Never in his life had he feared anything but the idea that she might reject him was terrifying.
“I’m not saying I don’t want to see you. You’re my best friend, and I need your help, but until I accept what I am, what you are, I can’t deal with this thing between us.” She took a deep breath and waited for him to respond, leaving the ball in his court.
Alec thought about her words and knew he would move heaven and earth to help her accept her Were side, but until that day came, he realized they could never have the relationship he genuinely wanted with her. At the moment, she was nowhere near ready to be his. She had no idea just how involved a werewolf bonding was, and he hesitated to tell her because it might be the thing that did make her run away. “Mercy, I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life proving that, but I also want you to be happy and I know until you’re comfortable in your new life that can’t happen.” He was relieved she was talking about trying to accept who she was and wanted to be encouraging, but it was killing him that he couldn’t have his mate at his side in true werewolf fashion. “I will try very hard to be patient, and I promise to be there for you no matter what you decide.” As if he had any choice now that he had started the bonding process with her.
“Thank you, I need you now more than ever to be my friend.” She smiled and laid her hand on the bench next to him.
“Friends,” he said, reaching out to lay his hand on top of hers.
“Friends,” she whispered, trying not to pull her hand away, afraid to offend him.
Alec felt her heartbeat quicken and knew she was scared, but left his hand where it was. They needed to start somewhere, and for the moment just touching her soft skin felt wonderful.
“So where do we go from here?” she asked, her eyes locked on his hand.
“I don’t know about you, but I need a shower, then I have to meet with my father. After that, I need to make living arrangements for the pack members who have moved here to protect us until we graduate.” He moved his hand back to his lap, clearly seeing the relief that washed over her face and trying not to be hurt by it.
“Oh, well, don’t let me keep you,” she said, feeling oddly put out that he was too busy for her.
“I can spare a few minutes,” he told her, happy just be talking to her.
“No, you go on, I have things to do myself,” she assured him.
They both stood at the same time, nearly bumping each other’s heads in the process. Her hands landed on his chest to steady herself and his breath caught in his throat as the warmth of her fingers transferred to his skin. Need and desire filled him instantly. His wolf howled inside of him, wanting its mate, tired of being denied the one female meant for him.
Mercy stared up into Alec’s eyes watching the chocolate-brown mix with amber and knew she should back away, but the feel of his hot skin under her fingers was so right that she hesitated. Her brain told her to go, that he was dangerous and could harm her, but her heart said: move closer, press your body against his, and allow him the chance to prove he is not a monster. She looked into his eyes, seeing his desire and longing for her, and her heart shuddered. His head lowered, and she met him halfway, their lips brushing softly as her hands pushed against his chest keeping a safe distance between them.
Alec was shocked Mercy came to him so easily, and he took his time kissing her gently, trying to keep from scaring her. He kept his hands clenched at his sides, worried if he touched her that she might run, but she surprised him and stood her ground. He felt his body tremble as her fingers bit into his flesh. His wolf roared to life inside of him, demanding he take her and make her his in the way of his pack, but he forced those thoughts away and ended the kiss before it became impossible for him to walk away.
Mercy pulled back and stared at him watching the amber in his eyes swirl, mixing with the normal liquid brown of his eye color, a reminder that he was not human. That she was not human. She sighed and took a step back, fear and distrust racing through her now that the kiss had ended. “I’m sorry…” Her body trembled, and she bit her lip. “I can’t do this, not yet…” She turned to run, but he pulled her back against him his warm breath on her ear as his bare chest radiated heat to her back. She felt a moment of panic as his arms encircled her and looked for a way out, but he sensed her fears and loosened his hold.
“Don’t, I can’t stand that you fear me,” he whispered desperately.
“I know, but I am not ready for this.”
“I’m the same guy you have known all these years, now you’re just getting to know a different side of me.” His fingers moved down her cheek, her neck, across shoulder, down her side, and then over her hip. She shuddered, but whether it was fear or desire, he did not know. All he did know was that she was his, and he couldn’t live without her.
Mercy swallowed hard, visualizing all the times Alec had held her in the past. Never had he hurt her or lost control, but doubt still lingered in the back of her mind. Her body might respond to his touch, but her mind still saw him as something she feared, and she had to get past that if they were to be together.
“Relax,” he murmured softly, his hand on her hip pulling her back against him.
“Alec?” she whispered as his lips touched the tip of her ear and something other than fear flooded her body. Heat raced its way through her, and her body burned as if it were on fire. Desire flooded her, she yearned for his touch, wanted his embrace, and she melted back against him despite all of her fears.
“Just feel me, don’t be afraid of what I am,” he told her, wrapping his arms around her a little more tightly. “I promise I won’t hurt you,” he whispered. His warm breath was against her cheek, his fingers gently moved over her belly. “I could never harm you, Mercy, you are my life.”
She laid her head back against him, forcing herself to trust that he would not lose control. It felt right to be in his arms, so amazing to have him hold her and she sighed, closing her eyes, savoring the moment.
“That’s it, Angel, let yourself go,” he whispered, feeling hopeful for the first time that she might get over her fears.
She wanted to tell him how good it felt. To let him know how much he meant to her. “Alec, I …”
Th
e crunch of someone coming near interrupted the moment. Alec growled low in his throat, shoving her behind him without thought. She cried out and fell to the ground unable to sustain her balance, but he didn’t turn to look at her. Instead, he growled louder, his muscles tightening as he scanned the wood line for the source of the noise. The wolf in him was a predator ready to attack, to defend its mate, and he wondered who would be so foolish as to come so close without calling out to him.
At once, all of Mercy’s fears came rushing back, and she scrambled to her feet, backing away from Alec, ready to flee.
“Don’t run,” he growled his voice harsh as he fought to remain in control. He knew if she ran he would follow, his wolf could do no other, so he prayed she would listen.
Her hand moved to her mouth, smothering her cry of alarm, but she stopped moving instantly.
“Alec?” A female voice called through the wood line.
His body relaxed as the crunching grew nearer and the scent became familiar. It had been two years since he last saw its owner, but when she burst through the trees, he felt his wolf settle and turned to Mercy to explain. She stood frozen, staring at him as if he would attack her, and he felt hurt that once again that she misunderstood his intentions. “I’m fine,” he said, but her eyes were wide and her heart was racing.