by James Kahn
Well, it turned out that that tipped the scales, and the side of the balance that dropped was attached to a string that pulled a clasp that set off the whole booby trap that hoisted Willy up to the wheel and knocked away the support beams in the cavern that started the cave-in that was their downfall.
So what I wanted to say was, if you try to take stuff that belongs to someone else, you don't get what you thought you were getting, you get what you ought to have got.
But if you take what someone's trying to give you while you were askin' for what you thought you wanted, you end up gettin' a lot more than you knew was there in the first place.
Willy taught me that.
Afterword
Astoria Herald, Morning Edition, Sunday, October 25
The Hillside Country Club last night had what board chairman Elgin Perkins described as a “major plumbing disaster.” All the main shower areas developed significant leaks, back-pressure in the sewage pipes caused toilets to overflow, sometimes explosively, spigots were “literally wrenched from their fittings and pulled into the walls.” Several members complained of minor injuries. The entire system had to be shut down, and the areas involved will not be reopened until further notice. Perkins later joked, “If I believed in the supernatural, I'd say a poltergeist was at work here.”
The plumbing contractor responsible for the original installation could not be reached for comment.
Astoria Evening Standard, Tuesday, October 26
The Board of Trustees of the Hillside Country Club Corporation was blocked in court today from foreclosing on lands near the dock area of Astoria and evicting its tenants. Community representative Andrew Walsh has obtained a restraining order from Judge Turteltaub, preventing the Hillside group from moving in tractors until the deeds in question are examined and ownership more clearly defined. Walsh states that the community has the right of first refusal on the property, and he now claims to have cash to purchase it outright.
Hillside Board Chairman Elgin Perkins has said he will appeal the matter to a higher court.
Astoria Evening Standard, Monday, October 27
Seven Cauldron Point children, missing since Saturday, were found, wet but unharmed, last night on a deserted beach near Hillside. Accounts of the disappearance, by the children, were so strange that some authorities suspected drug use among them—a charge they vehemently denied. They had with them a large number of purportedly high-quality precious stones but could offer no explanation of how the gems came to be in their possession, other than a fantastic story involving “squids, pirates, and skeletons.”
The stones have been appraised independently. Their value is undisclosed.
The appearance of the children was linked with the apprehension of the Fratelli mob. Jake Fratelli, who escaped from the state penitentiary Saturday morning, has been sought by police in six counties. All three Fratellis denied knowledge of the missing children or the jewels. They are currently being held without bail at the Hillside Detention Center.
Astoria Herald, Wednesday, October 28
Escaped convict Jake Fratelli returned to state prison today, pending trial with his mother (Mama) and brother (Francis) on six counts of counterfeiting, one count of arson, three counts of unlawful use of weapons, two counts of murder, and twenty-two counts of child abuse relating to Mama Fratelli's youngest son, whose name has been withheld.
Jake has apparently agreed to turn state's evidence on a drug ring whose members have been posing as FBI agents and other law-enforcement officials in order to confiscate large quantities of narcotics from local dealers. Fratelli will be granted immunity from prosecution on this charge and may plead guilty to manslaughter on the murder counts, in return for his testimony.
Astoria Evening Standard, Thursday, October 29
Reports of an unusual, unmarked ship sighted off the coast of Astoria last Sunday night have continued coming in all week. Flying an old “skull and crossbones” insignia, it eluded coast guard craft as heavy fog prevented further pursuit after sunset.
Officials feel it may be one of the vessels used by a local drug ring to smuggle narcotics into the Back Bay area.
Anyone having information relating to the fugitive boat, please contact the sheriff's office or this paper.
Astoria Herald, Friday, October 30
The Hillside Country Club today was purchased for an undisclosed cash amount, by a group calling itself the “Friends of the Goon Docks.” Chairman of the consortium, Andrew Walsh, has stated that the current country club golf course will be razed, to make way for low-income housing. Asked about the fate of the remainder of the country club, Walsh stated that the matter was being investigated, but possibilities included plans for a new historical museum, a children's center, a fish market, a plumbing supply house, a Chinese restaurant, and a public-access invention laboratory.
Previous owner Elgin Perkins was unavailable for comment.
Astoria Evening Standard, Saturday, October 31
The annual Cauldron Point Halloween Gala will be put on by the C.P.J.C.'s tonight at Reingold Hall, at 8 P.M. The theme will be Pirates of the Pacific, and all proceeds will go to the Orphan's Home.
Michael Walsh will give a special address.
Astoria Herald, Morning Edition, Saturday, December 30
Mr. and Mrs Jerry Cohen are pleased to announce the Bar Mitzvah of their recently adopted son, Jason Sloth Cohen, at Temple Beth Solomon, today at 11 A.M. Reception to follow at the Goondock Recreation Center (formerly Hillside Country Club).
The Goonies are looking for hidden treasure. What they find is a heap of trouble!
It's summer in the small seaport town of Astoria and The Goonies are restless. Big developers threaten to take over the town. Then Mikey finds an old pirate map and the kids take off to find the loot that can save their neighborhood.
But they never counted on skeletons with swords, a booby-trapped underground passage and the murderous ex-con, all of whom want the Goonies' heads.
But they took a vow to stick together through thick and thin…and that's lucky for them, because the most incredible time of their lives is about to begin.…
Take the oath. Join the adventure.
“THE GOONIES.”
Story by STEVEN SPIELBERG Screenplay by CHRIS COLUMBUS Music by DAVE GRUSIN Executive Producers STEVEN SPIELRERG • FRANK MARSHALL • KATHLEEN KENNEDY Produced by RICHARD DONNER and HARVEY BERNHARD Directed by RICHARD DONNER