by Carol Grace
"I know," she said quickly, feeling her cheeks flush. Fortunately for the propagation of the human race," she added, "not everyone feels the way you do about marriage and children. Some men are actively looking for someone to marry."
"So I've heard," he said. "They even advertise in magazines."
She straightened her shoulders. "Maybe they have to if they live in the Yukon, a zillion miles from nowhere. Maybe they have no choice."
Adam didn't like the defensive tone in her voice. Because he knew who she was defending. It was Jack. Jack, who sat up there in the land of the midnight sun, surrounded by stacks of letters and pictures of beautiful women who sent homemade cakes and cookies from as far away as Florida and Vermont. Jack, who could have chosen anyone, who had chosen Mandy and Julie from Illinois. With a little help from Adam.
Yes, he was partly to blame for Jack's interest in Mandy. And Mandy's interest in Jack, after all, he'd written his share of the letters. But he hadn't written the one she'd gotten today. The one he'd last seen lying in the middle of her bed. What was in it? Had Jack decided on Mandy? Would Jack decide without telling Adam? Without Adam's steadying influence, Jack might make a snap decision he'd regret. Which made it imperative for Adam to get in touch with Jack right now and find out what the hell was going on.
"Do you mind if I make a call before we go out to dinner?"
"Of course not. What?"
"The Seadrift sounds good to me, unless you have somewhere else in mind."
"Oh, I don't think..."
"You don't think it would be any fun for me to eat by myself and I appreciate that."
He left the mantel, crossed the room and put his hands on her shoulders. "You know I hate to eat by myself."
It was a lie. He'd eaten alone for years. In the Yukon they often worked shifts and never saw anybody at mealtime. On the other hand, that was before he'd met Mandy. Before yesterday. Before he'd shared dinner with her in her kitchen, breakfast in his bedroom and lunch on the breakwater. He had a sudden desire to eat every meal with her from now on to see if he could outdo the one before. Which was going to be a little difficult since she might very likely marry Jack and Jack might not appreciate Adam showing up for dinner every night She was looking up at him with such a guileless, trusting look in her blue eyes he had to look away, over her shoulder and out the window. But he kept his hands on her shoulders.
"Anyway," he continued, "we can't hang around here and think about what they're doing upstairs. And you're all dressed up with no place to go." He let his hands slide down her arms, feeling the warmth of her skin under the soft knit sweater, aware of the smell of soap that clung to her skin. Unable to shake the vision of her in her room with the towel knotted above her breasts, he finally pulled away.
"Back in a flash," he promised. "Can I use the phone in the kitchen?"
He didn't wait for her answer. He made a dash for the kitchen while he could still function. Adam dialed the number and Jack answered on the third ring.
"I've been trying to call you all day. Where have you been?" Jack demanded.
"Out."
"Where was Mandy?"
"She was out, too. What's up, have you made the big decision?"
"I can't until I get some input from you. I'm sitting here waiting to hear from you and you're 'out.'" Jack sounded definitely steamed.
"Do you think I want to be out? Do you think I enjoy doing your undercover work for you? You don't think I'm having a good time, do you?" Adam demanded just a shade too sharply.
"That’s exactly what I think. I haven't heard from you all day. And when I do talk to you all I get is 'she's nice.' Is it too much to ask for more information? A few details?"
Adam straddled the kitchen chair and tried to think. What to say about Mandy?
"She's a good cook," he admitted finally.
"Really? She runs a bed and breakfast and she's a good cook. That’s great." Sarcasm dripped from Jack's voice. "Give me a break."
"You know what?" Adam said. "You're not yourself today. You need a vacation."
"I don't need a vacation. I need a wife," Jack snapped. "That’s what this is all about. Or have you forgotten?"
"I haven't forgotten. And that reminds me. Mandy has never been married, but she's been hurt, and hurt badly. So go easy. You can't come on too strong. What did you say in your letter? I thought I was handling the letters to Mandy."
"I decided to take over. Especially since you're not here. I can't expect you to keep writing to her when you're under the same roof. What did she say about my letter?"
"Nothing. What did you say in your letter?"
"Nothing. None of your business."
"Wait a minute. I thought this was my business. What happened to Julie?"
"She's on hold. But she doesn't like being on hold. She just sent me a scarf she knitted herself."
"Well, wrap it around your neck and go for a hike. It’ll do you good to get out."
"Don't tell me what will do me good. The only advice I want from you is whether I should propose to Mandy or not. Would I be happy married to Mandy?"
"Probably. But would Mandy be happy married to you? Especially when she finds out you're not a millionaire."
"I'm a potential millionaire. All I need is one lucky strike. There's a new gold rush on, you know. Just since you left three guys have staked a claim at Granger's Camp. There's gold in the air, I can smell it. So just find out if Mandy's interested in the money or me."
"Okay, okay. I'll see what I can do. But I have to take her out to dinner to find out that kind of thing."
"Is that absolutely necessary?"
"Absolutely. This is a delicate operation. You don't expect me to take her to some local bar and buy her a few beers, do you? I didn't think so. I've gotta run now. Talk to you later."
"Wait a minute," Jack shouted. "How much later? CM me when you get back from dinner."
Adam put the phone down without answering. He'd be damned if he'd call Jack after every conversation with Mandy. Or after every meal. He hurried back to the living room. With one last glance at the stairway, where their guests had last been seen, Adam hustled Mandy out the front door and into his car. They were at the Seadrift a few minutes later.
Adam let his eyes drift over the top of his menu to drink in the sight of Mandy across the table. Mandy interested in money? Mandy a gold digger? It wasn't possible, was it? He cleared his throat. "How do you feel about money, Mandy?"
"I like it," she said with a smile. "Don't you?"
"I like what it buys," he admitted. "Good food, good wine and a good vacation in California every once in a while."
"I'll drink to that," Mandy said, raising her glass of a light California Chenin Blanc. "If only there were more of you, I wouldn't have to worry so much."
"What do you worry about?" he asked, setting his menu on the table.
"The usual. Paying the bills. It's a risky business, bed and breakfasts. Most of than go belly-up within the first year. The only reason I've been able to hold on is because Laurie pays me rent. But I could sure use a big infusion of cash to make some improvements, advertise more."
When the waiter came, they ordered oysters on the half shell, shrimp scampi with wild rice, and a Caesar salad for two.
"What about you?" Mandy asked, folding her hands on the tablecloth. "What do you worry about, Adam?"
He wanted to say he worried she'd fallen in love with a man who didn't exist. A millionaire who had Jack's goals but Adam's personality. He worried about Jack's finding the right woman; he worried about Mandy finding out that Jack had lied to her. But most of all, he worried about what was happening to him, getting involved with Mandy despite his best intentions.
The way she looked at him, her blue eyes the color of the sea at dusk, made him want to confess everything, get it all out at once, clear the air and tell the truth. But it was too late. He was in too deep and Jack had too much to lose.
"What, me worry?" he asked with a grin. "I'm on va
cation. I've got no worries at all." Then he remembered his mission. "So you could use some extra money, couldn't you?"
"Of course, couldn't everyone?" She took a bite of salad and chewed thoughtfully.
"Tell me about your friend Jack, maybe I've run into him somewhere," Adam said.
"I thought you said it was a big territory."
"It is," he assured her. "But there aren't many people up there. How did you meet in the first place?"
Mandy squirmed uncomfortably. She would never, ever, admit to anyone in a thousand years that she'd answered a personal ad. And she would never, ever, admit to herself that Jack was anything more than just a pen pal. Only she knew that her heart beat a little faster every time she got a letter from him. Only she was aware of how much she looked forward to those letters.
"It’s a long story," she said at last. "Actually, we're just pen pals."
"You mean, you've never met him?"
"How could I? He lives in the Yukon, a zillion miles from nowhere. But I know him better than most people I actually know," she said stiffly.
"You don't know what he looks like?" Adam asked.
"It’s not important. He's just a friend."
"A special friend, though," Adam insisted, leaning forward and tilting her chin up with his thumb.
She met his gaze as her knees brushed his under the table and there it was again, that electricity in the air, the sparks flying between them. Even as they were discussing Jack, Adam was causing sparks to fly through the air. Then he pulled back sharply, almost as if he'd received an electric shock, too.
Mandy scooted back in her chair and refolded her napkin in her lap. "A very special friend," she repeated. "By that I mean that Jack is not an ordinary oil rigger. He writes the most beautiful letters. Maybe it's the solitude that brings out the sensitivity in some men."
"Solitude?" Adam asked, gripping his wineglass in his hand. "Doesn't he have a roommate or anything?"
"Oh, yes, I guess so. But they have nothing in common. Jack never mentions him. He's probably just an ordinary guy."
"Probably," Adam said ruefully. "And you can tell about all this sensitivity from his letters?"
"You're so skeptical," Mandy remarked, savoring the sauce on her shrimp. "But you wouldn't be if you actually knew Jack. You might even like him if you met him."
"What about you?" Adam asked, studying the way her hair brushed her shoulders. "You're the one who should meet him. That’s the only way to find out."
She looked up from her wild rice. "Find out what?"
"If you want to take the next step, move from friendship to something else."
"I already know. I was in love once. It was the most painful experience of my life."
"So your sister's right. You are afraid to get involved, to make a commitment."
She straightened her spine against the back of the chair.
"What about you, hiding out on a drilling platform? Talk about fear of commitment."
He held up his hand. "Guilty as charged. Twenty-foot waves I can take. Gale-force winds and minus zero temperatures. But women are ten times as dangerous. When my wife left, I couldn't get out of bed in the mornings. I felt like I'd been hit over the head with a piece of drill pipe. I'd rather be swept out to sea by a giant wave than go through that again. No more women in my life. Never."
Mandy felt as if she'd been hit by a ten-foot wave herself, so firm was his voice, so vehement his argument. She held up her hand to protect herself from the force of his words.
"You don't have to convince me," she said. "I understand exactly what you mean. I mean, if we can't learn from our mistakes, what’s the use of living? I've never been happier being on my own, making my own way in the world." Her blue eyes shot sparks into the air, so bright he wanted to shield his eyes.
There was no doubting her sincerity, Adam thought, and yet...
"Me, either," he countered, and took her hand in his. "Let's shake on it." But instead of shaking her hand, he just held it for a long moment. He didn't mean to. But for some reason he couldn't let go. He couldn't break the connection, the bond they'd formed in just the short time they'd known each other.
It was getting harder and harder to keep Jack in mind. To keep his interests first and foremost. Even though they seemed to talk about him nonstop, even though she obviously thought about him and treasured his letters, Adam didn't want to think about him at all. Not with Mandy sitting across the table from him, her hair a soft cloud around her face, her hand in his, her knees just a whisper away, so close he could brush them by accident any time be moved.
And then he felt it, like the ten-foot wave he'd mentioned, the kind he wasn't afraid of. A rush of envy hit him so hard his chest hurt. He wanted to be Jack, he wanted her to talk about him the way she talked about Jack, with the same breathless reverence. He wanted to be that rare combination of sensitivity and rugged Yukon man she obviously admired.
No matter what she said about not wanting to take the next step, he knew she was just protecting herself. She might not know it, but all it would take would be for Jack to show up and sweep her off her feet. Of course, there was that protective shell she'd built around herself. It would take some sensitivity to work through that. If he were Jack he'd know exactly what to do.
But he wasn't Jack. He let her hand go. He was Adam, Jack's best friend. And he was not available for a commitment the way Jack was. Jack was ready for the big M word. Marriage and children and all that. What every woman wanted. Even Mandy. No matter what she said, it was what she wanted.
How could he stand between her and what she wanted? He couldn't. She and Jack deserved each other. And he'd have to do his best to see that they got each other. When he got back he'd call Jack and tell him the truth. Mandy was the right woman for him, she had everything he could want. She was sweet, kind, ambitious, hardworking, warm and loving. But Jack had to go slow, realize what she'd been through, show her that all men weren't the same, that some of than could be trusted. Yes, it was clear now what his mission was. No more confusion. No more getting carried away by the sight of her in a wet towel, by the touch of her lips, the look in her eyes.
"Dessert?" he asked, and she shook her head.
"Why don't we have coffee back home?" she suggested.
"Fine," he said. But it wasn't fine. He couldn't trust himself to sit down across from her at the kitchen table, as if he belonged there. It was Jack who belonged there, not him. And besides, a cup of coffee could lead to something else.
"I'll have to make a phone call first," he said.
"Your partner again?"
He took out his credit card and laid it on the plastic tray left discreetly a moment earlier by their waiter.
"He needs my advice about an important decision."
"At ten o'clock at night?" she asked, standing.
Having received his credit card and receipt, he followed her from the dining room.
"At any hour of the day or night."
"That’s quite a responsibility," she remarked, letting him open the car door for her.
"Only until we finish this project. Then he's on his own. In the meantime, I'm on call, twenty-four hours a day.'' It was the least he could do. Jack had done a lot for him, even saved his life one frozen Arctic night in a whiteout. Jack had dragged him home in the snow when he'd lost consciousness. This was his chance to pay him back. And the way to pay him back was not to steal his girl.
They didn't talk on the way home. In his mind Adam ran through the reasons to leave Mandy alone and planned his conversation with Jack. When they arrived at the bed and breakfast, he excused himself to make the call from his room after Mandy thanked him for dinner. He chose to ignore the hurt look in her eyes as he pretended to forget the invitation for coffee. This was no time for late-night togetherness.
"What happened?" Jack demanded as soon as he heard Adam's voice.
"Mandy's the one," Adam said, his voice sounding hollow in his ears.
"Are you sure? Ju
lie just called. She's ready to fly up here."
"Don't let her. You've got to see Mandy first. She's got everything you're looking for."
"Then why doesn't she fly up here?"
"She can't. She's got a business to run. Besides, she's been burned once. You've got to handle her with care. She thinks she's not interested in marriage, but she is."
"Is she interested in me?"
"Of course. You should have seen her when she got your letter." Adam felt a pain in his chest just thinking about it.
"She liked it?"
"What did you say?"
"That s between me and her."
"If you want my advice, you'll come down here right away. But you've got to handle Mandy with care. She's different. She's vulnerable. Plan to spend some time with her. She's worth it."
"How can you be sure? You've only been there two days."
Jack was right. How did he know after only two days?
"Just a feeling."
"I'd like to come down there, but I can't leave until you get back. Can't you hurry things up? Tell Gene you need to see him right away, get things settled about your future and come back to relieve me just temporarily.''
"I'd like to, but Gene's busy until next week. Just hold tight. And don't do anything rash."
"Same to you," Jack said, and hung up.
Adam turned the lights out and opened the windows to let the sea air blow in. He stuck his head out the window as if the air would clear his head so he'd know if he was doing the right thing or not. He asked himself how things had gotten so complicated. All he'd wanted to do was help Jack find a wife. He deserved one. Someone special. But did he deserve Mandy?
He might have said no if he hadn't seen the look on her face when she talked about Jack, the way she'd looked when she'd gotten his letter. Would Mandy mind when she found out Jack wasn't a millionaire? Probably not. Jack was a nice guy with or without money. He'd realize that Mandy needed to be cultivated, like a bruised flower bulb. A flower that could bloom with the right amount of TLC, water and sunshine. All she needed was someone to love her and she'd open up like a rosebud in the warm summer air. The image he conjured up tore into him like a serrated knife. What right did Jack have to be the one to teach Mandy to love again?