by Gann, Myles
“It hasn’t been exciting a single day since you left.” He shot her a smile before pulling out onto the street. “How was your first day?”
‘Maybe he still does….’ She had been well aware of his crush on her the first time they’d met, but he’d become very good at hiding his feelings from everyone, making it was difficult to see which of the ones he’d shown were real. It was the scariest feeling in the world for both of them to be potentially out on the same limb, and for that limb to be close to breaking. She knew it was going to come down to one of them telling the truth to the other. ‘Tonight then. He has a right to know.’ She opened her purse and took an anxiety pill from her prescription bottle, swallowing it dry. “That place was never exciting even with me there, and it was pretty boring. More orientation stuff.” She looked over at him. “So, where we going?”
He looked back at her with those amazing eyes of his and answered, as smoothly as possible, “Wherever the car takes us.”
- - -
Caleb swigged back the rest of his water under their parasol and the clear, starry night above that before letting his eyes wander around the edge of the scene. The bow of the boat was nearly deserted minus his, Carol’s and the retreating waiter’s occupancy. The river was calm below the wooden and metal churning paddle boat. As the full moon shone down as a reminder of the impending end of it all, both Carol and Caleb attempted to enjoy the final act of their magnificent half-day. ‘It was a stroke of luck when I found tickets on this riverboat. What a blinding flash, this day; we enjoyed the activities planned and the conversations sprung from the ground like daisies until it came to this particular dinner. She’d continued to play the part beautifully: her smile flashing at all the right points, her words causing intrigue and wonderment, and her eyes still trying their hardest to make me believe I belonged next to her. She’s been different since dinner started; she probably thinks I’m using this as a date.’ The waves passed under the moving riverboat as they both ate in silence. ‘Time’s about up for this pumpkin ride. She has the complete opposite interpretation of why we’re here. Time to test my theory.’ “How’s your dinner?”
He narrowed his eyes slightly as soon as he finished the last word and took in every part of her response. Her eyes snapped to his over the rim of the glass she was drinking from—‘Insinuating frustration, and there’s a deep breath while the glass falls to the table heavily-a nonchalant nod, with no eye contact, on the end of her long sigh.’ Sadness crept up and down his body as those details added up to the answer in his mind. ‘Game over. Do the right thing.’ “I think we need to stop this game of pretend.”
He’d gotten her attention, and she showed it by leaning her weight onto the table. “What do you mean?”
“I mean I have been holding this guilt and pain inside for so long and all it’s accomplished is destroying your life a little bit more. You already have to deal with your mom and you’ve been forced to be my friend ever since you made that promise, but none of it is fair to you. There’s no justice in it for you. Consider your debt repaid and, please, move on with your life without this part of your baggage.”
Carol actually smiled a little bit, but it wasn’t one of happiness. “You actually think you’re holding me back? You don’t think I wanna be with you after all this time?”
“Please, don’t tease my mind like that anymore, Carol. Every time you do something caring or elegant I forget for a second that that’s just how you are and I get the misconstrued concept that I’m special to you lodged in my brain. Then it takes root and it’s so hard to convince myself it can’t possibly be true. It’s not your fault, but it’s become too much for me to stand. It tears me up that I’ve done this much injustice to you for almost a decade now…ten years! All of it a mixture of playfulness that I can’t distinguish from real words anymore. It’s time for your life to be your own. There’s no justice in me keeping you bound to a silly childhood agreement.”
As Caleb sat back, glad and terrified at the same time, she reacted as he’d expected she would. Carol stood up and began to walk away, but she didn’t walk away; she knelt down next to his dangling arm and slightly clenched fist. The fingertips of his left hand uncurled and, while they were hanging off the arm rest, began to be caressed by one of Carol’s hands as Caleb just watched in slight shock. Heat; an enveloping, calming heat that emanated from her slender, perfect fingers began to slither through his nerves and body until he became as lucid as clay. His hand began to unclasp from the chair’s rest and allowed itself to become her hand’s molding sculpture. He finally refocused his eyes down at her pink, short sleeved shirt. ‘She’s been the same size for three years now. Why is she doing this? Why does this feel like my power?’ She was staring through his hand as she suddenly spoke, “Ever since I can remember, you’ve been the only guy-no, the only person I think about. In school, at home, even when we’re together and having the time of our lives, the tune never changes. I can’t stop thinking about the most important person in my life, and do you know why that is?”
Caleb could only barely breathe out a sarcastic answer, “My charm?”
He could feel a small chuckle leave her mouth as her warm breath splashed upon his hand like bubbling water on a beach. “Close. It’s because you’ve always been there for me beyond what anyone else could ever do or expect from another person. It goes beyond hearing what I say or giving me a shoulder to cry on. You…transcend that stereotype so much that even when we haven’t seen each other for a week or more, I still feel your confident words ring through my head. You’ve hard-wired my mind to never give up no matter what the odds are. You’ve used your unspoken feelings to wrap me up in an impenetrable blanket, and that means that the only justified thing in my life is the fact that I need you in it.”
Her two green, misty eyes looked up into his confused and shocked ones finally, and he didn’t have any words to follow her emotional speech. He couldn’t imagine her hunger for a response or reaction, but he was stumbling through the clutter in his mind for an eternity before he could find anything. “I don’t know what it is that you see in me, but I promise you I’ll try my hardest to not screw this up…if this is what you want I mean,” he said while lifting his hand in hers.
“Why is it so hard to believe that I like you as much as you do me?”
He blinked back his power. ‘I guess it senses my emotional turmoil, but still slightly unsettling that it acted without my permission, even if it was only for a split second. That lack of control with the force I can unleash isn’t good news for anyone….’
“Carol, I’ve been trying to stop caring for you so hard just so we could be normal friends. But it’s the one thing I can’t will away. I’ve always treated you like a glass house on a cliff, but now you’re telling me that there was a safety net the whole time…it’s just surreal…and I keep waiting to wake up.”
“Well,” she took his hand and placed it over her beating heart, “as long as that thing keeps beating, then I promise I will care for you far and beyond what a friend ever could. You’re my own personal superhero.”
That remark brought a pang of guilt. ‘I’ve never told her anything about my power, constantly pushing aside her questions and investigations. I always knew if I told her she would want to question everything about it, and I never wanted to face that myself. Maybe it’s time for both of us to face it, together.’ “If we are going to go into this, then there’s something I need to tell you—”
“Later!” She sprung from her knelt position and kissed him for the first time. Caleb wrapped his arms around the back of her neck and forgot the rest of the world. All the while, a man’s body thrashed by the bottom boat hull and into the propeller, his screams going unheard, and nobody feeling anything but a slight bump in their ride.
- - -
Caleb rubbed at his eyes in an overly-vain attempt to wake himself a little bit more before his meeting with Principal Hackard. He sat in a leftover elementary chair in the trophy hallway—�
�All but about ten can be directly attributed to some participation or action of mine,’ –and waited for the principal to come retrieve him from the wood and brick. In front of him was a secretary. ‘What’s her name? Miss…I don’t remember. Apparently she’s not important enough for a nametag either.’ She gently tapped away on a very dated computer and ignored him the best she could. ‘I know for a fact I’ve raised more than enough money to at least put a new computer in the budget. It all goes through Hackard first, I guess. And most of that goes straight into the bi-yearly renovation of his office. Sixth one just finished up since my freshman year. For nothing but useful items I’m sure….’ His eyes wandered to the rickety fan overhead. ‘Ah a new game for the kids waiting for their yelling at by Hackard: Russian Roulette with the fan picking its victims at random. Summer in this room would be a verifiable hell, and it’s still, sadly, the best they can do here.
‘What the hell’s this about anyways? If I had more hours of sleep under my belt, maybe he’d have more of a reason to call me in, but I look relatively normal today. Friendly talks aren’t the principal’s strong suit. God I just don’t care today. Who the hell could after a night like last night? Two hours of sleep can put apathy into the veins of anybody. Of course, given the same choice, well, it wouldn’t even be a choice.’ Fond memories came over his mind’s eye of what Carol and he had done after the cruise had ended. ‘I’d just wanted to drop her off and save the explanations until later, but her insistence was too strong. Once she held my hand, I was hers for anything.’
The secretary interrupted his thoughts with a sudden sneeze, but it didn’t take long to revert back. ‘The questions started as soon as we walked through the door: Where do we go from here? How long have we felt like this? Why didn’t either of us ever say anything? All of her questions, while pertinent to the situation, were off topic for what I wanted to say. She stopped herself before I had to, but that didn’t make beginning the long, weird story any easier. It had taken, literally, until the horizon had started to wink glimpses of sunlight for me to tell it all.’ He readjusted in his uncomfortable chair a bit. ‘My explanation was choppy and unprepared, as I was, and she needed some sort of visual proof. I understood that position completely and I gave it to her. I didn’t show off or inspire anything, but my power painted my words for me in a more forward attempt at an explanation. So we sat there in my dark room with our hands clasped together, me gathering a nervous sweat on my neck. My power seeped from between my teeth and cleansed my heart of its clenching fear as my words fell from my mind and glided to her ears, and hopefully melted her heart at the same time. My eyes were closed when I started, “When I think of your face, I wonder how I ever think of anything else and continue to breathe. I’ve seen lung-siezing sunsets, read absolutely awe-inspiring poetry, and experienced other sensations that seemed to be a test sent straight from heaven to see who could stand strongest against things of such perfection, but your eyes—your disastrously deep, green eyes—offer me a glimpse at paradise. That’s because they’re rooted in the richest soil in the universe: your soul. Even when my eyes light up,” I opened my eyes, and smiled a little at her gasp, “they pale in comparison to the purity and beauty that yours put off constantly. With those eyes by my side, I would topple empires for you.” After that flow of emotions, I rose back up from my power and moved closer to her; the only light coming from the dimming moon outside and the only sound: an awkward breath from Carol mixing with my steady stream. It wasn’t long before I felt the warmth of her lips pressed against mine, where they stayed for seemingly an eternity, where I never wanted them to leave.’
That blissful remembrance was interrupted by the principal buzzing him in. ‘Can I bottle that mood?’ He stood and made the two-step journey to the mostly glass door, not bothering to knock as he walked in. ‘The last renovation over the summer was put to good use, it seems.’ A brand new carpet laid on top of a brand new carpet on top of a perfectly good wooden floor beneath it that had been here a few renovations ago. ‘Ridiculous. A thousand bucks on a fully tucked-in floor.’ Principal Hackard sat on the other side of his luxurious, oak desk with his hands folded over a gilded pen and a Post-It note. ‘You know the drill: just take a seat across from the annoyed man and await the start of whatever topic he decided to whine about this time. He looks a little uncomfortable. Can’t be the temperature it feels great in here. What’s the meaning of your rosy cheeks and slow sweat on the side of your face, Principal Hackard?’
“Oh, Caleb. I didn’t mean to buzz you in quite yet.”
“Would you like me to leave for five minutes so you can re-buzz me?”
“No, no.” His bald head leaned forward and his gut strained against the side of the desk as he began. “So, what’s this change in appearance to ring-in the last year of your high school experience all about?”
Caleb smiled a little on the inside. “Sorry, but I seriously doubt my clothes are any of your business. As long as I make the grades, you shouldn’t be worried.”
The unexpectedly harsh comment sent the man back in his leather chair with cracks and groans against his weight. ‘His shirt’s untucked and his pants are disarrayed.’ He stretched out with his power slightly so his eyes wouldn’t light up, and he soon felt the warmth of a leg beneath the desk a few short inches from his toe. ‘Ah, so he did get a useful renovation.’ He retracted his power and just made eye contact to avoid laughing. “Well are you sure you’re even going to make the grades? Because I’m not. Even if you do, I have to worry about your face being out in the public like it is so often. You’re basically the mascot for our school and you dress up like a little punk looking for more attention. Does graduating first in the class with a respectable image mean nothing to you now?”
Caleb couldn’t answer immediately. ‘Keep that laugh inside.’ He noticed all of the seriousness in the man’s eyes and refocused. ‘Laugh or no laugh, you’re still a two-faced ass only interested in saving your own image. Behind doors you hate me and in public we’re best friends; pick a side of the fence and plant your tree-sized ass there. Maybe I should strike a little fear into him, throw a pen across the room with my power or something. Ugh, I know there’s no justice whatsoever there. He wins again.’ “What I wear has nothing to do with my ability to think or keep this school on the map. I’ve changed a little over the summer, but I haven’t become vindictive. No worries; you’re not going to lose your pride and joy to drugs and sex.” Caleb leaned forward slightly as almost a friendly warning. “However, what I’ve changed into remains none of your business. I will still run whichever clubs I’m involved with to whatever end goal we set.”
“Assuming I even let you wear a wristband displaying our school name in public. Caleb, even if these clothes don’t mean anything to you, they will to everyone who sees you. The world is not understanding of dark-and-different things.”
Caleb noted his agreement with that opinion but didn’t waver. “I can see that you don’t understand it, but what you really don’t understand is that you don’t have to understand how to understand my understanding. Understand?”
The lingering red in the pompous man’s cheeks flared again as he sat forward, slowly. Mr. Hackard’s eyes had turned to a hard glare that Caleb had seen him use on some of his regular visitors. Caleb just stared him back emotionlessly and let a slight smirk appear on his lips. ‘Respect’s a two way street, Principal.’ “I’ll tell you exactly what I’m going to do. Write me a list of the clubs or organizations you’re going to be in this year and I’ll talk to the leaders and get their opinions on the subject. I’ll even be a nice guy and give you the time you need to write the list with a detention for disrespecting me.”
Caleb fumed a little on the inside. ‘I should kick her shoe, just to show him the amount of respect I have.’ Her heel was now almost poking from beneath the desk to the toe of his shoe. ‘Just to show him where he belongs.’ Caleb sighed slightly and calmly said, “You’re all heart, sir. Hopefully I can do as good a job
as everyone else in your office.”
“What do you mean?’
His eyes shot down for only long enough to make his point then he leaned his head towards the door. “I mean your secretary. I can’t imagine being in her position. What does she get paid, I wonder?”
- - -
Caleb walked up to his generic front door of his generic house that had about twenty clones on his street alone. ‘This place is nauseatingly symmetric, but still better than the old neighborhood. It’s crazy how we were in the Hoover-ville only a year and a half ago, right before the old man apparently got some promotion at his mysterious job. That job…half of that mystery is pure apathy while the other is total avoidance by Mom. She’s so avoidant of that topic.’ He opened the door and walked through the foyer of the hundred-grand house to his living room. ‘Welcome to the quarantine zone: white walls in every core compartment and the eerie silence of an abandoned warehouse. Their bedroom is some shade of red, and they let me pick sky blue for mine. Man if we were here when I was younger, every wall would’ve been plenty colorful. Give me half an hour, a box of crayons, and no supervision and they’d be selling the walls to museums in no time.’
He strode for the kitchen—‘That stereo wasn’t here this morning.’ “Hey Mom?”
His response came in the form of a grunt from the kitchen table where his mother was sipping juice and flipping through a Victoria’s Secret catalogue. His feet redirected towards the refrigerator and jutted a thumb back the way he’d come. “When’d we get the new stereo?”