by Gann, Myles
Carol slapped at his collar bone with the hand that wasn’t still clutching for dear life onto Caleb’s bare skin. “What would you have done if that would’ve hit me?”
“It never had a chance.”
“Psh, and why not cocky-boy?”
Caleb pushed his power around them both, making sure to be gentle when pushing it past her, “I would never let anyone hurt you. Least of all me.”
Despite the brilliance of blues around her now, Carol kept her eyes locked on Caleb’s inflamed iris. “Why do you say that? Why on Earth would you make that kind of a promise to me?”
“Because I love you, Carol.” ‘Wow that was easy to say. I’ve never even thought those words, let alone said them aloud. My power can’t suppress that? There are still butterflies, still something so potent about those three little words.’ “It’s a depressing irony that I needed to wait until my mother died to feel alive, but I’ve always ever only felt truly alive around you. I’ll never let anyone take that away from us.”
Carol released her clutch and took a full pace backwards. “Why do you only ever tell me these kinds of things when you’re in your power?”
“Because I am my power, and only with it can I protect you.”
Her face lost all traces of a smile. “You do not need this light show to protect me, and you certainly don’t need it to love me. It’s you that loves me? You and not your power? Because it seems to be your power that has all these sweet things to say and never you.”
Caleb had been muted into thought. Through his logical, power-induced mind he played with the possibility. The cold question actually crossed his mind without a hint of humanity patched to the syllables, ‘Is it possible that I don’t love her?’ Because of that thought, he felt hollow; something about the filtered drone of his power disgusted him enough to throw it back inside his body completely. His cleared eyes and voice spoke to her with a passionately apologetic tone. “You bring out a lot of different things in me, and my power is a big part of me. A big part of us. It’s the whole reason there is an ‘us’ in the first place. Without it, we’d both be rotting away in the ground right now. You would’ve never had the chance to care for me, to love me.”
“First off, stop saying we love each other. After everything that’s happened lately, you can’t start throwing that word around just because you’ve seen death up close. Secondly, don’t speak for me. You don’t know if I love you or not, and lastly, if you were a corpse for me then I’d love the hell out of you because at least then you would’ve had the courage to stand up for me without that crutch you call a blessing.”
He let out a shocked chuckle before retrieving his shirt from her hand. With his back to Carol, Caleb felt his arms clench. He thought loudly and passionately, trying to telepathically yell through his ears so that she may hear the pain that threatened his enduring heart. ‘I give you the ultimate word, the word that we’re all here to hear, and you want more! I give you everything I have left after it all fell apart, and you want more!’ He had to speak, to open some hole and communicate somehow before the steam filled him completely. “So you would care for me more as a skeleton than with me wasting air living?”
“Don’t be dramatic, Cale.”
Caleb lost his head; a momentary lapse of all rationale that led to his hand and power snapping the rusted goal marker apart at its leg like a pretzel rod. It fell backwards and made a long twang: a large tuning fork keeping the melody within Caleb’s temporary madness. “How’s that for dramatic?”
He could feel Carol’s eyes—‘Shocked, her right one showing a slight wrinkle in the corner and her left mockingly perfectly,’—but wouldn’t dare look at her. Wouldn’t dare strike fear into her with his surely intense gaze. Instead, he put his shirt on and quickly calmed down enough to feel the shame in his actions, but not enough to completely dismiss her words. ‘That was wrong, but what she said wasn’t right either.’ After a final deep breath, he spoke without ever taking his gaze off the high grass. “I’ve never thrown words around without meaning them. Not once have I ever lied or mislead you because I know how pointless it would be. I don’t want to live a lie with you, Carol. And I’ve certainly never called this freak accident of a genetic inbreed a blessing, but I work with what I have. You want me to die for you? If so…it seems a small price to pay for the love of someone like you.” He fully relaxed and looked towards her feet to show her his normal eyes. “I’m sorry I said we loved each other, and that you had to see me do that. You’re right; I’m just a lonely sick kid that doesn’t know how to earn love without help.”
Their eyes met again, affirming that Caleb was Caleb and not his power, and Carol reacted. She walked up quickly, but stopped before reaching him totally. All Caleb had to do was reach out for her and she would surely gravitate to his warm caress, but he didn’t. The old voice inside him, his self-doubting, moment-killing, Carol-enshrining voice kept his heart heavy with regret. ‘You had a brief few months to hold that goddess, and now it’s over. She doesn’t want your touch.’
“That’s not true….”
Caleb shook his head and smiled a little. “Care to clarify?”
“You mislead me once.”
Another pound of regret forced his heart somewhere near his lower thigh. “That’s lovely. What did I disappoint you with now?”
“You used to tell me you were dating some girl, but I knew you were lying.”
The old memory mixed well with her light look to spark laughter out of both of their larynxes. Chuckling and breathing, they gradually moved into one another’s comfortable arms and placed their foreheads together. Caleb caught up with his breath and noticed tears on Carol’s cheeks. ‘Are those from the comedy mask, or the tragic one?’
“Listen, I just don’t like that word. You know all about my dad…and my mom…so I guess that’s half the reason, but the other half is that we’re too young to be worrying about love and the future. Especially not when you’ve got the world in one hand and you’ve got my hand in the other.”
“Can’t I have both hands on you?”
“Would you?”
“In a heartbeat. The world doesn’t care. You do.”
“Ha! Caleb, you’ve gotta earn the caring of the world, like you did with me. And they’re a tougher crowd than I was.”
Caleb smiled, pushing aside her semi-serious eyes. “You were pretty tough. I know a few people I could pay to like me.”
“We’re not talking about the dirty sluts you go to school with.”
Caleb smiled wider and laughed deeply. “By the way, we have plans for tonight. A few of my friends are coming out of their respective shells and they want us there for support.”
Carol smiled and placed her chin on his necklace, looking up at him. “And what activity did they have in mind?”
“The club in town. I forget its name…um, the…The StarSlide that’s it.”
“Haven’t been there. I’m game if you are.”
Caleb kissed her forehead, right where the trinity of eye brows and the bridge of the nose ended, for a long time, ending it with an exaggerated smacking sound. “Sounds like a good time to me. Wanna go get ready at my house?”
“Since most of my stuff is in your room already? Sure.”
They smiled, feeling peace again as they wrapped around one another en route to her blue beauty. They quietly entered and rode along in the car, collecting thoughts and sealing wounds, which left Caleb to confront the strange vision of his mother. Her peaceful statement kept ringing his ears as the houses rolled by: “Forgive him.” ‘Who him? Dad? Fink for something? Santa Clause for a bad Christmas?’ He queried over and over until Carol broke his thoughts at one of five stop lights in the town. “You been okay with your dad the few days I was away?”
An absent-minded answer was all he could muster, rubbing at his freshly shaven chin. “Yeah, we’re super.”
“Well, I hope so because I won’t be there again tonight.”
That caught his att
ention. “Why not?”
She grabbed his hand and placed them on her car’s shifter. “My interview is tomorrow remember?”
“I did but I didn’t think a part of the interview was total isolation.”
“I added that part in.”
He smiled. ‘I don’t want to be without her tonight.’ “If you don’t wanna stay over that’s fine.”
Her head turned from the road for a second, giving him a pointed look even without his reciprocal eye contact. “Tomorrow’s just going to be a big day and I want to be totally focused.”
“Tonight could be a big night if we let it be.”
“I know, but I don’t want it to be. You’re lucky I’m going out tonight at all.”
“Right.” Caleb took his hand back and rolled down the window.
---
Carol gripped the steering wheel as tight as she could with the hand that wasn’t in Caleb’s direct line of sight. ‘He’s so infuriating sometimes. Is he really that big of a blockhead?’ “You really think I don’t want to go out tonight?”
“I know you want to go out tonight, but I also know you get mad every time I avoid telling you things and yet you don’t tell me things until it goes nuclear.”
Carol smiled, ‘Finally! Testing him for days and he finally catches onto the plot.’ “What do you think is wrong?”
He took an exaggerated deep breath and slowly let it out in gabbing fashion. “The top of the list looks to be your stress level because you’re running out of the pills you think I don’t know about, therefore making you more prone to avoid stressful situations all together, but you’re not doing that. You’re trying to save up your patience for this interview by avoiding me as much as possible, or putting on a face and saying nothing to provoke me into an argument, but since that’s just what you did earlier about the L-word, you’re trying to make up for it by cancelling whatever plans you had with whoever else tonight and going out with me instead. The problem all this adds up to is that you’re doubting everything you have because you now know how fast life can end, which doesn’t make sense to you because I make you feel like you can live forever, making you want to avoid me, that dreaded L-word, and my arms until you can figure all this out, which actually hinders you more than helps.”
Carol braked hard at the curb in front of Caleb’s house and was taken aback, not by the revelations themselves, but the ease and speed in which he figured all of this out. ‘He knows how to see my problems, but he can’t talk about his? What kind of default position is that?’
“I don’t need you to pity me, and certainly don’t want you to be trapped. Do what makes you happy.”
He gently kissed her hand and exited the car, leaving her to question her questions alone. ‘He’s testing you now.’ Caleb surely knew from her reaction that he was right on all accounts, but why leave? Why open that door then step back across the pane? ‘He isn’t going anywhere.’ She couldn’t find the connection, find what the key to opening these things up to him was. Because of that, Carol turned cynical; ‘He’s doing this to pay me back for playing games with him.’
‘Do what makes you happy,’ her thoughts spoke his voice, giving her sudden clarity to the situation. ‘He might as well have been asking “Do I still make you happy?”’
The car’s ignition cut off and she grabbed her purse and swallowed her last two pills.
---
Caleb laid a long pause at the two unusual cars in his driveway; ‘Dad does love the curvy, sporty cars, but those are very boxy and beaten. Not his style at all.’ His mind processed the possibilities as he walked along the stone path. Opening his front door slowly, Caleb instantly noticed deep laughter he didn’t recognize. ‘Don’t go doom and gloom yet, but it’s a bad day to test me.’ He kicked off his shoes and shouted, “Dad?”
“Living room, kiddo.” Caleb meandered in while hearing softer words that sounded like accolades being pinned to his name, but he couldn’t relax. There were two men sitting on the loveseat opposite his father’s chair; ‘That one’s normal looking minus the dark eyes while the other’s a behemoth.’ “This is my boy, Caleb: easily the best thing to ever come out of me, eh? High school was chump change for him, and college won’t be much different, right kiddo?”
“Hopefully.”
His old man stood up and placed an arm across his shoulders while pointing out the other guys. “This one is Jimmy, and the big one doesn’t like his real name so we call him Saber.”
Both extended hands in friendship which Caleb took. ‘Long serpent tattoo on the forearm of “Saber.”’ He shook back firmly. “I don’t wanna interrupt anything, so I just wanted to let you know that I’m probably going out tonight, and I have no idea when I’ll be back. And…,” ‘Mom’s message is ringing again.’ “Um, I was also thinking if you ever wanted to hang out just you and me that would be fun to try, Dad.”
‘His eyes softened for a moment. That meant a lot to him.’ “Of course, kiddo, and me and my friends here have plans tonight so don’t worry about a curfew. But yeah…yeah, we’ll definitely do something real soon, just us.” Caleb gave a simple but approving smile while his father slapped his shoulder. “Carol not going with you?”
“He couldn’t get rid of me if he tried, Mr. Whitmor.”
Caleb felt a hand snake its way into his, and instantly smiled. He half turned to face her—‘Two duffle bags on the ground next to her purse,’—and kissed her cheek. The looks on the two sitting men’s faces was priceless, and yet it encapsulated the electricity in his spine. They glanced to her first, giving her more than one onceover, then back to Caleb, giving him a mental pat on the back, and then fluttered their eyes from one to the other, seeming to wonder what it was about them that seemed so…powerful. From their point of view, the couple standing before them were the ultimate usurpers; the gorgeous girlfriend with shined hair and supple extremities absorbed the beauty and light of everything else in the room and added to her own glow, and the boy, for some inexplicable reason, attracted every pair of eyes that wasn’t already stuck on the slowing beauty at his side. They saw no chinks in their collective armor. ‘If I can just find the answers we need, you boys will be on to something with our invincible aura between us.’
“You two have fun doing…whatever.”
A wink from his dad made Caleb smile before Carol began to drag him towards his room. “Nice to meet you guys.”
Caleb quickly closed the door behind them and leaned against it to watch her movements. As usual, she walked around, picking up both his and her clothes while humming some abstract pop song. Once the chair and bed were cleared, her jacket covered the chair and her body fell onto the bed. She assumed a posture mimicking Caleb’s own when he lay in bed: feet crossed at the ankles, hands behind her head and staring straight up into the white of the ceiling. He smirked down at her from the door for a little less than a minute before she called out to him in a husky voice, “Since you are pretending to be me, I’ll be you.”
Caleb gave out a hefty laugh and walked closer to the bed. “I figure out your problems and all the sudden I’m sprouting breasts and firming up my buttocks?”
“Breasts yeah, but you’ve always had a fine ass.”
They both smiled as Carol pulled him down to the mattress and Caleb pulled her body as tightly into his own as he could. As they spooned, her head gently turned and a whisper came from her beautiful lips, “I think I’d be pretty happy if we could start to care a lot more for each other, but none of that word for a while. Not until I can give you every bit of happiness you deserve.”
Caleb placed his lips against her ear lobe and barely let his voice float on his exhaled air. “I’ll never earn you.”
“You’re well on your way.”
- - -
The floor was glowing, the air was thick with music and sweat, the ceiling flashed and rotated with light and mirrors, and all but four people in the entire club seemed to be having the time of their lives. All four stood near the entrance, luc
ky enough to get inside over a half an hour ago, and huddled around a standing table. Caleb was smiling and teasing Carol and Sasha while Alex seemed to be eyeing the dance floor. ‘That’s surprising. Being here might not be a complete waste of time after all. Especially if she is going to come out of her shell. Maybe not. She can’t hardly look towards the stage to dance on, not that I’m excited about looking like an idiot either. This corner is kind of comfortable. It certainly makes everyone else here happy, this dancing thing. Not the dancing, because that certainly doesn’t answer a damn thing about their lives. They’re here for the distraction; to shut their brains completely off in the foggy light.’
A hand on his shoulder, followed by a chin placed on his other, sprang his mind from its observational state. “I think you’re going to have to lead us in, Mr. Leader.”
Caleb nervously smiled and twirled to take Carol in his arms. She, as a mirror opposite of him, was stunning; her dark green spaghetti strap shirt struggled a little against her C-cups while her lime skirt hung loosely off her hips, with her wrists covered in flower bracelets. Her brown hair held a spinning flower that Caleb found at a practical joke store for her on some random occasion last November. ‘My shabby-side-of-fashion outfit doesn’t even compare with a blue, unbuttoned dress shirt and plain white undershirt. I’ve got my new necklace hanging between the rows of buttons at least. Doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t even compare to her smile. It brightens against the green dress and her green eyes even in the dark.’ A simple action of moving in motion with music horrified him in a way that boogie men scared children the world over. ‘Sarcasm is my only defense, and she knows that. Eh, let it flow then.’ “You think I wanna have you dancing on me?”
To increase the enticement, Carol moved her face so her cheek rested on his while holding both his hands. “If you’ve got something better to do, then….”
Her plan worked in more ways than she knew. Caleb’s confidence temporarily shot up enough to drag her by one hand to the other side of the table. “Time to play, Sasha.”