by Gann, Myles
Power slowly came around and proclaimed, ‘No, nothing.’
‘Why not?’
‘Are you complaining?’
‘No, but not entirely trusting.’
‘I know,’ Power said bitterly. ‘I’m not sure why I didn’t, but I didn’t. She lives another night.’
Caleb stood, reached down, and gently pulled the blanket to her crossed arms, her hands automatically finding the frilled edges of cloth and curling them between her soft fists before snuggling closer to the crevice of the loveseat. He felt power go into complete remission on its own, and his own mind mulled the scene he’d never expected to see. “Lucky girl,” he whispered delicately before very gracefully sitting back in the couch, retrieving his own blanket from the floor and suddenly feeling his lids weighted again. He didn’t sleep. His mind stayed submerged in the tepid dreamscape without having to hold its breath; imagination came to him in uncontrollable connective images. Cows became bowls of cereal, Alice waved through a rabbit hole and waded through a muddy swamp, Caleb saw himself flying too long before the insurmountable mountain became a bright, hot wall; the smell of dried reeds burning with the strange after-taste of coffee beans—
“Morning!”
Caleb raised his hands and felt something very hot on his finger tip. His head rose to see a defiled cup inches above his shoulder. He reached up and gently took the loop with his index and studied the side of the mug. What surely used to be a family-friendly portrait of some sort was turned into a group of seven floating heads with inappropriate smiles all across the surface. Caleb looked up to Alice as she twirled her tea bag string with a finger. “I like faces….”
Her mumble made him smile a little as his groggy voice croaked, “Good thing.” He studied closer. “You did this with what? A nail file?”
“A butter knife,” she mumbled.
“Ah, their bodies suffered for their vanity.”
She sat in her large recliner with her legs tucked in and the hot tea on her knee cap. Caleb carefully sipped at his tea, recoiling a bit from the bitter taste. “Do you have any honey?”
Alice hopped up again and skipped to the kitchen. “Yeah, you can come in and get some. I never know how much to put in because all the measurements are all weird.” Caleb stood and started walking. “There are a lot of weird measurements out there. Like a pinch, a dash, a grab, a spritz, a dusting, a light dusting, a heavy dusting,” he took the bottle from her hand, “a careful handful, a liberal spoonful…. Are you sure that’s enough?”
Caleb looked between his spoon and the tall sprout of honey. “Yeah, you seem to have me covered here.”
She moved some dirty dishes around and lifted her clothed bottom to the counter. He stirred with his spoon while his mind was thoroughly unabiding to her leaned staring. “Thinking?”
Caleb gently lowered his cup. “Waking up, mostly. Then thinking.”
“About?”
“About when you’re going to ask what you’re really wanting to ask.”
She clutched under the counter. “He told you?”
“He’s replaying the whole thing in my head to annoy me.” Caleb sipped again. “It’s working.”
“Well, he’s mean.”
“You noticed that too?”
“Are you mad?”
“Should I be?”
“You’re deflecting.”
“Are you punching?”
Alice looked daringly at him. “If you don’t wanna talk about it it’s fine.”
“That’s a good thing because I had no intention of talking to you about it.” Caleb set down his cup and wiped at his eyes. “Thanks for letting me sleep a little.”
She chased him down before he got to the front door. “You can still stay if you don’t wanna talk.”
“Listen, there are plenty of reasons I shouldn’t be here at all, and plenty more why I should leave now. What if David saw us right now? And just to give you a glimpse into what you saw last night, the paramount reason why me being here is a bad idea: I now have to decide what to do with you. My current options are you dead, you alive and me gone, or you alive and me telling you the truth about a lot of bad stuff. Two of those options don’t have me here at this moment, and none of them are worth just staring at me from across the room until I decide.”
Caleb turned and walked towards the staircase.
“Or you could stay and not talk?”
Caleb didn’t look back up. “That would fall under option three. No grey area with me, sorry.”
---
“I guess not, but still he could’ve stayed. He should’ve stayed. He could’ve taken a shower here, I’ve got some food, I think…maybe even another cup of tea and he would’ve told me everything as I gave him a massage, and the world would be right as rain on a sunny day.” She walked back inside. “Man, would that’ve ticked David off! Caleb’s right, he doesn’t like him at all. I don’t know why. He’s obviously smart, and obviously needs help which is what David likes. Or he just likes it with me. Gotta get something for our anni—oh a bug! Got it, yes. This place is a mess, how do I live here? Well, a lot of it was the guys last night I guess. They seem so nice and afraid and lonely, why doesn’t Caleb like them? Just because they hurt me? Why does he care? Why do I care why he cares? Ugh, caring is hard. Why does anyone do it? Curious little kittens looking up at strangers and rubbing at their legs. I need another cat. But if they come by—well I guess they won’t be anymore. Caleb told them not to….” She reached under her small couch and pulled out a skinny laptop. “Where’s a pet store around here? At least now I can get a cat. I’ll have to thank Caleb for that tonight. If he comes by! Ugh I hope he does. I don’t want him to leave because of me. Staying because of me? I have no problem with that at all. Would he have a problem with it? He seemed to have a problem with me, but he also said he might not have a problem with me. He needed to think about it…. So far away! I’ll get David to take me, but I don’t want David to take me. Caleb doesn’t seem to have a car, but I’d walk with him. It’s only five miles away. I bet it would go fast with him….” A loud vibration reverberated along her floor. “Vi-bra-tion…ah, phone got it! Walk, walk, walk, pick-up, pick-up, pick-up. Hello? I’m fine. No, I don’t think so. I’m off today, and I’ll be there tonight.” She paused to listen. “You’re breaking up with me?” Anon. “No, you said if this doesn’t stop, we’re not going to make it and I don’t know what there is to stop, so obviously the concept of me stopping something I haven’t started is a paradox, so your ultimatum becomes ‘stop seeing me.’” A third time. “We’re always going to be friends, but I’m not sure if we were anything else, either. Okie dokie. See you tonight.” She gently tossed the phone. “Caleb really should stick around. Giving me a choice…how stupid is he? Either be with me or be with somebody else but don’t try to change me. I can’t change. I did change. How did I change? What did Caleb say last night? He changed me last night. How? I don’t have them here this morning…. They’re not here because it’s wrong, he said. He said. It’s wrong. David’s wrong? He was wrong. For me, yeah. How? Because he wanted to change me. Because he thought I needed changing. Because he didn’t think I was good enough for him, so he tried to change me into his perfect girl. He tried to change me, and Caleb did change me. I need to walk. Caleb needs to be there tonight.” She swooned.
- - -
Stephen pounded an elbow into the swaying bag and felt his nerves scream. Sweat fled from clogged orifices, seeking slow death against stained floors. His body craved the suicidal fall against which his mind repelled. It suffered against all discourse to the wise, even as his body fell apart at the seams.
“You realize training is obsolete, now?”
Doctor Ancel walked into the room but kept his distance as Stephen panted heavily. “Helps me stop thinking.”
“Thinking is why we are here.”
“No, Doc, thinking is why you’re here.” Stephen leaned heavily against the bag. “I’m not here for that.”
“And that’s why you’re here. You don’t know why you’re here.”
He gently tapped the bag with his fist. “He made me stop and think—made me question myself.” A hard jab bent the bag slightly. “How the hell can I compete with that?”
Ancel strode forward and stood behind the bag. “You could be just like that.”
“No, I couldn’t. It comes naturally to him.”
“And your ambition comes naturally to you.” Another thud hit the bag into Ancel’s chest. “You have something else riding on this. What is it?”
“You seem to already know, Doc.”
The doctor grunted a small laugh. He stood further back and folded his hands. “The Major just approved a reinvention of the suit. How technical shall I speak?”
Stephen delivered a devastating haymaker to the bag.
“It will be just chest, back and leggings. Everything important goes inside of you now. Your spinal fluid will mix with our additives to create a more powerful circuit. The end result will have you able to power up more quickly without the glaring backpack. You need to sign-off since it is rather invasive, permanent, and dangerous.”
Stephen punched hard again; a combination that collided red, white, and pink tape against the bag over, and over, and over. He paused, the red tape curling and falling from the cocked knuckles, and stared hard at the moist imprints on the bag. “Whatever it takes.”
The doctor left and Stephen continued to punch.
- - -
Caleb glanced over again. ‘Has she looked this way?’
‘I’m trying to not notice her. Talk to the redhead. He seems nice and boring.’
‘I don’t really care about him.’
‘Based on the level of intellectual colloquium, the feeling is mutual.’
He turned back to his partner. “Is it always so sunny around here?”
Stewart looked up and flipped his hands. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve been here for over a month and it’s rained one time for half an hour. Is that normal?”
“What is normal, really?”
‘Oh my he’s getting semantical. Let me just kill one of them to get it out of my system.’
‘Kill Alice.’
Power was slow to retort. ‘Anyone else?’
“Sorry, I tend to question things a lot more than need be.”
Caleb looked back up. “I know the feeling.”
“I hope you don’t.” He ran a hand through his curly red hair.
“Why’s that?”
“Because it’s horrible—awful.”
Caleb glanced towards Alice again, barely catching the end of her stare. ‘Did she look?’ “How so?”
‘Yes. She seemed happy.’
“You’re the new guy I should be listening to you.”
Caleb leaned back to glimpse at David across the room. “You’re not interested in me. Trust me.”
“And you are in me?”
“More than I am with myself.”
The redhead smiled. “You must know yourself pretty well then.”
Caleb looked him in the eye. “Nope, but I have plenty of time to figure myself out.”
“Fair enough. I’m pathetic. I barely scrape along the bottom of life with the world on my shoulders. I have no self. I live only for other people’s happiness. I live in a cell, eat from a trough, and bow to anyone with a heart like mine. I stand up for people’s happiness because I have to. I can’t stop. I really hope you’re not like that.”
Caleb looked at him sideways. “Why did you tell me that?”
The redhead continued to smile. “Because you wanted to know.”
“You’re not embarrassed?”
“It doesn’t matter. It made you happy.”
Caleb let his head bounce slightly. “What would make you happy right now?”
He laughed aloud. ‘Alice looked at you. She’s happy you made him happy.’
“C’mon. It’ll be our little secret.”
“I don’t know…. Tell me something about you.”
“Well, I like yellow cake instead of chocolate.”
He laughed again. “Gotcha. What’s going on between you and Alice?”
“Oh, I’m just trying not to kill her at this point.”
“Okay everybody, good group session today. Let’s regroup and talk together for a bit.”
Caleb stood up and moved towards Alice. “I’ve got to leave early.”
She smiled up at him still. “Where are you going? How long will you be there? Will you be alone there?”
“Yes to everything.” She grunted. “I’ll be at the coffee shop. I’ve got a package coming there.”
He moved past her, feeling two pairs of eyes staring at him all the way out through his power. Caleb instantly strode towards the closing coffee shop. The block-and-a-half collided with his speed and lost. Under the blinking streetlamp was the darkened shop, the small clearing next to it almost completely taken up by his unmarked container. Power was stretched quickly to unlatch and open the front. The geometrically-volumed rectangle was carefully being maneuvered through by Power and Caleb; his movement gentle while it disheveled. The first box at his feet was opened, revealing comics. ‘They’re labeled, genius.’ Caleb pushed it aside and looked through his power as it filled the area. ‘Many more comics. One’s unlabeled.’
‘Bring that out.’
Power took most of the boxes out of the trailer in a float. The target box was smaller than the other as it snuck across the floor to his feet, Power replacing the careful foundations before rebuilding the inner sanctum quickly. Caleb’s hands went to work on the box; small papers and booklets coming out in piles. ‘That has your mother’s name on it.’
Power handed him the paper. “Birth certificate—boring.”
‘This one then. It has Fink on it too.”
Another paper found his hand. Caleb skimmed before finding the beginning again. “‘Thomas: I know life is throwing us a hard line. Or maybe it’s just hard for me because you always have the answers. That’s why I can’t do this. I can’t be with you. Richard is just as clueless as me. He makes me feel like the world is ours to discover, but you always made me feel like the best had already come and past. We had some incredible nights together, but you had to know this was coming. I can’t see the world as you do. I can’t hold onto the truth because I only care about my truth: I’m happier with him than with you. If you do love me, and I know that you do, then please don’t confuse Caleb. Richard will never know. Caleb shouldn’t either. For what it’s worth, I am so, so sorry this is where life took us….’”
‘She didn’t love him, then.’
‘Which one?’
‘Neither of them, really. She used Richard for an adrenaline boost, and just couldn’t be happy with Dad. She certainly cared for both of them, but she loved freedom unequivocally.’
‘Don’t call him that.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because that’s the first step in sabotaging yourself.’
‘Wait, you’re worried about that?’
‘I don’t want this little gamble coming up in another two decades. This should be it.’
‘And calling my father “Dad” affects that how?’
‘You never think past the first step, Caleb.’ Power grunted. ‘Calling him a rudimentary label privies him to idolization, which in this case would cause significant back draft over your idea of the worthiness of the human kind because of the way he wasted his life. He ended up alone, unappreciated, and unfulfilled because he tried to change the world at the pace of a sloth.’
‘That’s the way he wanted to live his life.’
‘That’s not the way you want to live yours.’
‘How do you know?’
‘Why would you want to save humanity if it wasn’t so?’
‘It’s not his fault he loved the world more than my mom.’
‘No, but it is his fault he forgot to tell her that little discrepancy. If you stay his
path with his compass and flashlight, you will end up travelling in a circle with dead batteries.’
“There he is, look.”
Power quickly turned. ‘It’s a male and a female.’
‘David and Alice. I’m not explaining things to her in front of him.’
‘Oh, but you wouldn’t want to go back on your little quest of truth now would you?’
‘Stay out of it.’
Caleb slammed closed the small shed and turned to the encroaching couple. “Evening lovebirds.”
David stopped before Caleb while Alice strode past his point and to Caleb’s side. “Thanks for walking me.”
David looked up to Caleb. “Thanks for insulting me.”
Caleb looked between them as David backed away staring him down. ‘You can’t stand him resisting your pride.’
‘I can’t stand being confused.’ Caleb looked towards Alice and asked, “What was that about?”
‘Pride doesn’t know how to live without itself.’
Alice turned towards him. “I need to thank you twice. Thanks and thanks.”
“For what? Both times.”
“You changed me. David’s huffing because we broke up.”
Caleb looked across the street. ‘And now you feel nothing for that? This is the kind of friction that usually gets you hard.’
‘It’s sad and happy news. They’re off-set.’
“You didn’t react to that….”
“What did you want me to do?”
“Smile.”
Caleb glanced over and down to her. “You didn’t react to it much either.”
“What did you want me to do?”
“Blush.”
She looked up at him. Her breath shuttered. “What?”
He turned his body towards her sparkling eyes and smiled from the half-shadow. “Just blush.”
“Why?”
“Eh, it’s simple. More so than a smile, less so than a swoon I guess. It’s a tiny action that shows the world that, even for just a second, you’re the happiest girl in the world.”