by Gann, Myles
Sirens wailed by as Caleb screamed. Nerves shook his hands to the bone as he sat.
---
“No, no, no, if there has to be a chest piece, then it’s got to look like this to be efficient.” Stephen grabbed the computer pen and gently traced along a three-dimensional figure. The pen secreted a silver lining across the chest, leaving only the blank arms without a silver shine. “That opens the shoulders. You guys are worrying about aesthetics too damn much. C’mon! The more we worry about this, the more he can run.”
“He hasn’t moved from the metropolitan area that we know of.”
Stephen turned around.
“The Major will give the green light soon.” Doctor Ancel walked to his back. “You will need to be more ready than the forces.”
Stephen pushed him away. “There won’t be any other forces! Boneheads like the General just open their mouths and breathe stupidity.”
“I’ll talk to the Major. He’ll send me with you next time.”
“Why? Why do I have to have a sitter?”
“You’re letting yourself be compromised by anger.”
“You haven’t seen me angry yet, Ancel.”
Both glared. The door opened with the Major inflowing the room. “Problem, gentlemen?”
Stephen didn’t break the contact. “Yes. When can we reload and go?”
Ancel broke his stance. The Major set a folder down and sighed. “You just can’t wait to get back out there can you?”
“When?”
“How’s the design look, Ancel?”
“Sound.” His eyes deliberately averted from Stephen’s area. “The sergeant fixed our design problems. It’s more practical, but will require direct insertion of conduction pins and constant drip of catalyst into the spinal column.”
“You ready for a little cosmetic surgery?”
“Yes, damn it, let’s get this over with.”
The Major looked up. “What is it you’re chomping at?”
“I just want to win. I want to get the test over with, and the war.”
“There’s nothing that selfless in your body.”
Ancel stepped forward. “He’s trying to be.”
“No, I’m not. I’d never be stupid enough to try to be selfless.”
The Major chuckled a little. “Stupid?”
“What does it matter? I said I’d do it. If we’re going to do it, then you have to let me do it.”
“It’ll be done. You’re going to be impatient until it’s built?”
“How long?”
The Major turned towards Ancel. “If I gave the green light today?”
“At least three months if he was into surgery tomorrow.”
“Three months? He could completely regroup by then.”
“Or he could be lulled into a false sense of security.”
“Or he could become more paranoid. Either way, things progress in their own ways, at their own times. We’re not going to risk another fortune and this country because you want to pound a high school enemy.”
The Major picked up a phone receiver and began to dial. Doctor Ancel walked closer to Stephen. He leaned heavily against the back of a chair. “He’s more than that. You know he is now.”
Ancel leaned against the desk. “I know.”
“I can’t wait that long.”
“If you don’t, you’ll lose.”
“I can’t lose.”
“Which can’t you do more?”
Stephen pushed off the chair and put his hands behind his head. “I can’t let him win. Not again. He doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t even want it. It just comes to him. What has he ever done to win? Nothing! It’s handed to him. I’ve worked. I’ve trained. It’s my victory to have. My glory. My legacy to win the war for red-white-and-fucking-blue.”
“You think he’ll try to take that from you?”
“He would if he knew. He’d rip the rug from under me, and then fly it like a flag.”
“If you wait, you will have the power to take the flag back.”
They looked at one another; Stephen felt his teeth grinding. “I’m not doing it for you guys.”
“We never thought you would.”
- - -
A strong gust brought Caleb’s power around the spire to steady the point. Under one foot the point of the Ascent dug into his shoe. The other held up one end of a cheap skateboard. ‘Why are we here exactly?’
“Shut up,” Caleb said against the wind. “Keep us from dying.”
‘Aye, Captain.’
Caleb jumped with both feet, landing on the board as it began to roll. The uneven surface challenged the wheels and the balance of Caleb’s horizon line as the plastic found the off-road experience too stressful. They chipped and snapped at the descent and curve, turning his lean into a run. ‘What are we doing now? You think you can make that jump?’
“You’ll make it.”
A solid metal part came to his sole and his legs uncoiled against the wind. With his body splayed and eyes wide, gusts tackled his chest while the blue air brushed them aside. It pushed for him; as he screamed in futile fury against tepid air, it and he knew that not making the balcony would mean a fall. The gray cement was well within reach, Power was sufficiently motivated, but he held back. His will kept the metal bar rooted in solid structure out of blue finger’s clutch, and as the wind took no note of the victory, they did fall. Caleb looked up as they did, elation beaming from his pursed mouth and closed eyes. Power drug a dumpster from an alley to catch the body with a massive twang, and returned the container on rusted wheels. “You are a fool.”
Caleb coughed as blood bubbled; his temporarily broken ribs puncturing any soft flesh they found. Power’s face looked down from outside the empty container, not smiling nor frowning.
“You have nothing to say for that? Or is your right lung too filled with blood? Does the agony seer you and carve your place in the world?” Caleb gargled up at him, his eyes turning brighter blue as they fluttered. “I thought not. Let’s hear your grand excuse.”
Bones cracked back into place while sinews rewound themselves together. Power circulated and cascaded, making certain the body of his host was at the peak of condition again before letting Caleb sit up. He spit some blood into a corner of the encrusted container while standing. “Because I could.”
“That has never been your motivation.”
“I’ve always done what I could because I should. Now, I’m doing it because I can.”
“That’s an entire new realm you release, then. Not the least of which is destroying every last bit we see. I know a good entity for the job.”
Caleb didn’t answer. He slowly climbed out and began walking to the street. His eyes glowed freely even as people walked by and instinctively gazed into the aura they couldn’t see. Power pulled hard against Caleb’s will, pulling itself into a loose ball inside and away from the open windows in his head. “Why do you care?”
‘Be quieter. Or do you think anyone else cares about your whining?”
“Why do you care?”
‘Be quieter! I will kill the first person that approaches us.’
“No you won’t. I won’t let you.”
‘Oh, so you care about their lives, but not about yours?’
“Mine has never been in danger.”
‘Stop speaking aloud.’
Caleb wandered into a store. ‘Fine. I can’t care about my life.’
‘You can’t care about it, and yet you always have thought it was better than everyone else.’
He opened a freezer. ‘I’ve never thought that.’
‘Then why do you lose your mind when you find out your life has been a loss?’
He walked to the counter a placed the cold can heavily on the wood. ‘I thought I was living the right way, and if there was the right way to live, then I could help people.’
The cashier put the drink in a tall brown bag. ‘Oh, I forgot you believe that there is hope for this man who sells booze. What right way would make him
as likely to succeed as us?’
Caleb popped the top and took a large drink.
‘Precisely. You’re not even interested in the bet anymore.’
‘Nothing’s changed. Nothing will change.’
‘Heh, if you’re looking inside yourself for a reason to survive him and her and her, you’ll be back to suicide before the leaves fall from the trees.’
The brown bag raised again as Caleb looked up at a digital clock. ‘Time to meet.’
‘Yes, a weakling pretending to be a savior meeting weaklings with no clue of the truth. Go be fruitless I’m resting.’
Shambling and intermittent stops took the sun past the horizon by an hour before Caleb found the familiar gym. The can crushed into a marble, then flew down the street. Double doors opened loudly, tensing every figure in the place. David immediately stood and swooped towards him while Alice stayed turned towards the group, engaged in some tale. His hand clasped Caleb’s forearm and his voice came in quiet twisters. “Don’t come barging in during a session. You ruin the entire illusion of security.”
“If it’s just an illusion, happy I could help.”
“Leave, now.”
Caleb lifted the arm David had in his hand. “You’re going to let go now.”
“We got your files in, by the way. You kept quite a bit from us didn’t you? Imagine my surprise when I hear your name in military circles, and then hear Alice’s voice freaking out when she sees your face on every local news station. A five-hundred-thousand-dollar bounty, do you know what that could do for this group?”
“You called them?”
David released his arm. “No, at Alice’s request.”
“Well, thank goodness she wasn’t terrified enough to throw me to the wolves. Let’s drop one act here: you didn’t turn me in because there’s something you want from me.”
“Despite what you may think, I do care about what Alice says.”
“But not nearly as much as what could happen to you. I’m sure the military circles have heard something about me, and obviously something big enough to scare you into bribing me. So let’s hear it.”
“You’re an arrogant ass, you know that? If I had heard of what you’ve done, I would’ve turned you in and rolled in the reward money.”
“And you haven’t.”
“I care more about helping than hurting. Tell me what happened and I’ll see if you’re helpable.”
Caleb smiled. “If you hear my whole story, you’ll have the cops here halfway through it.” He wandered past David as Alice approached. “You sold me out?”
“What should I do? Your face was on my screen. I didn’t know how to find you so I went to the one I knew how to find. Just tell him what happened.”
“I did, and that wasn’t enough.” Caleb wandered past her. “Maybe I should just tell everyone what happened instead! Is it my turn to tell a story?” Caleb sat down hard in Alice’s normal seat. “Let’s rewind the clock twenty years, well, a little earlier even. I’ll make sure to mute the boring parts for you, don’t worry. I watched my mother die in a pool of blood when I was eighteen, I accidentally killed my father when I thought he was the man that killed my mother, I ruined my girlfriend to the point where she lost her mind and died from a seizure earlier this year, I ran from people that want to put me in a zoo, just recently found out my father wasn’t my father but just a fill-in, and I’ve completely lost my sense of place and destroyed almost any chance I had of salvaging my life for a better end.” He swung around to David. “Oh please, David, don’t call the cops.”
Caleb kicked the wide chair out from under himself as he stood, stopping it at Alice’s feet yards behind the original spot. His feet were heavy across the floor, the cool air of the night offering no relief from the brazen flare of his beating heart.
“I killed my dog when I was a kid.” He whirled around and located Lacey, the small girl with blonde hair. “Our house was big. We had a pool and a porch, and Dad would always have friends over, but none my age. He got me a puppy named Crystal. We could’ve named her Spot, because she had a huge brown splotch one over her eye, or Jumpy, because she loved to jump, but we settled on Crystal. She was by the pool when I ran up and started playing with her. She barked and smiled up at me every time she pounced. I ducked one time and she jumped into the pool. I laughed as she paddled a little with her head above water. I thought she was playing and having fun still. She got close to the edge, but I didn’t help her out. I just watched her for a while until she got tired.” She looked up. “Dad said it was my fault.”
David and Alice both rushed to the circle. There was a collective sob among them all. Power arose again within him slightly. ‘What’s worse?’
‘That’s worse.’
Power glanced out of Caleb’s eyes before returning. ‘Who cares?’
‘I still do. I can’t help it.’
Power cocooned itself again. Caleb turned and walked outside. The air suddenly did reach him; the senses returning like a wayward flock fenced by their shepherd. Wind pushed him forward while gravity held him down; the moon ebbed him while the night flowed. All the forces of nature had him walking precisely as he was, where he was, until he was right where his past met the future, but with no answers in either. The metal gate of his point was thrown open and his bottom quickly found the floor. People walked by with glances and uninterested stares, much as Caleb took in the toe of his shoe. The street lamp above burned out, voiding the corner and shop next to him of a tremendous area of light. Caleb zoomed into his foot.
“You look like you could use a lamp.”
He looked up and smiled. “C’mon in to my new apartment.” She walked forward and sat across from him in the metal crate. “It’s snug, but has a nice front door.” He reached up and gently closed the shutter.
The world was blotted. No light seeped under the gate and the echo of the metal faded to one light breath, one nervous one, and two exhales. “Have you been here for long?”
“I just left ten minutes ago, Alice.”
“No, it’s been almost two hours. Everybody wondered where you went. They wanted to talk to you.”
“They shouldn’t.”
“I think I should, and I think they should too.”
“You shouldn’t talk to me either. You should all pack now and run to the far end of the globe.”
“We’ve travelled a lot already.”
“All the more reason to keep trekking.”
“Give me a reason to leave.”
“You met it the other night.”
“Yeah, him, but not you, and he’s interesting. I want to know both of you. You especially because I think he’s a part of you.”
“Then you like a psychopath.”
He heard her fidget. “Who said I like you?”
He smiled. “Nobody at all. Nobody said you didn’t either.”
She laughed. “David’s right. You are arrogant aren’t you?”
“Not nearly as much as I seem.”
“Why do you aim to seem that way?”
“Because I’m a coward.”
“No you’re not. Some people are, but you’re not.”
“You don’t know a thing about me.”
“What do I have to know about you to know you?”
Caleb let his neck bend a little. “Do you like me?”
He could feel her cheeks burn. “What does that have to do with you being arrogant?”
“If you don’t like me I’m arrogant, if you do then I’m picking up on things that represent the truth, and am therefore not arrogant.”
She was silent for a bit before giggling. “I guess you’re not arrogant. But don’t you dare ask why. I don’t know. I should know, but I don’t. It’s like I can’t know no matter how much I want to know.”
“That’s a tough question to answer.”
“You’re thinking about it now?”
“About why you like me?”
“Yeah.”
“No, no, not that. Th
ere is no reason for you to like me.”
“Are you kidding?”
“I’m not much of a kidder when it comes to myself.”
She huffed. “I wish I could see your face right now.”
“You can’t imagine it, can you?”
“I’ve never tried to….”
“Ever?”
“No. All the faces I ever wanted to see I could anytime I wanted. I don’t even remember ever wanting to see a particular face. I just like them all.”
“But you want to see mine now?”
“I…guess I do.”
“Try it out then.”
“Fine.” They both closed their eyes, Alice reconstructing his features in her blank brain while speaking his facial features aloud, and Caleb easily seeing her closed eyes, steady cheek lines, small chin, and long, brown bangs through his blue filter. His imagination coated her skin with a light blue lining in the dark. He could feel her smiling suddenly. “This is working pretty well.”
“It’s not a bad substitute.”
“It’s not the same.”
“It could be the same.”
“No…no way.”
Her voice seemed closer. “Yes, way. Imagination can keep you alive sometimes.”
“Memories do, imagination is just a big balloon you tie to your wrist to bring a little color into your life.”
“No, it’s more than that.”
He felt her hand on his shin. “Sorry.” She adjusted with her hand a constant pivot. “Uncomfy. Anyways, what is it then?”
“Imagination takes you out of yourself. If it is a balloon, it’s one for your soul to just take flight and roam for a bit.”
“Yeah?”
“I think so, yeah.”
“Is there room next to you?”
Her voice seemed closer again. “I have no idea. I can make some.”
“I don’t want to force you into a corner. What is this stuff anyways?”
Caleb closed his eyes and gently pushed boxes a little further away from his shoulder. “Stuff from my old house. You can come over if you want.”
“Your old life? And are you sure?”
“Yes to both.”
She moved without touching him until her back gently hit the same wall as his. Her shoulder gently fit into the hump of his left tricep. “You were talking about Carol before? The girl whose life you think you ruined.”