by Gann, Myles
“Leave the wings. I’ll fix them up a bit.”
Caleb nodded his head before walking towards the back of the apartment. He glanced into her room—‘Neat and customized, colored walls behind the many face shots,’—before turning sharply for the small bathroom. Power left the door open a crack as he took his grey shirt off and laid it on the closed toilet. His pasted skin stretched well over his organ’s exoskeletal, muscular cage. ‘I used to look at myself like this.’
‘Because you’re a narcissist.’
‘I just looked. I studied.’ Caleb let power seep from his joints. ‘I used to be amazed at how nothing changed no matter how much of you I let out into the air.’
Caleb flexed and watched his world bathe in blue before twisting his arm, noticing his power’s devout interest in the small movements. He looked past himself in the mirror. ‘She has blue waves on the walls, and in the shower.’ Power looked through his own entity as Caleb looked as well. ‘The splash decal above the toilet is cute too.’
‘Cute?’
‘Everything she does is…I’m becoming predictable.’
‘You’ve always been predictable.’
‘No, I mean my wall. It’s predictable. I’ve got to be…like I was.’
‘Yes, from a mentally handicapped narcissist to dating a mentally handicapped optimist. I’m sure there’s symmetry somewhere in there.’
‘I’m never sure of myself around her.’
‘Maybe I gave off the wrong impression, but I do not care. You have two months left. Use them as you see fit.’
‘Better to be a coward in your eyes?’
‘Oh, you’re no coward.’
‘I was talking about you. You’re being cowardly.’
‘You don’t want to have this conversation in a cramped apartment bathroom.’
The shirt finally slipped over his head. ‘You’re afraid of me knowing that you care. She’s made you care a little.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
There was a light tap on the door before it opened as Caleb adjusted the shirt to cover his stomach. Joy’s head popped into the room accompanied by a gangly hand. “Sorry I didn’t know who was in here.”
“It's okay; I’m done now.”
The door opened wide enough for Caleb to slip uncomfortably close to her as he exited. ‘She’s smiling that frozen smile again.’ He shook his power away as he walked closer to the slightly buzzing living room.
“Hey. In here.” Caleb turned and saw Alice waving from her room. He entered, and saw his wings on her bed; the bare side was now covered with an array of pink, green, and yellow boas that twirled around the plastic hanger and allowed both ends to dangle carelessly. He looked at it with his head cocked. “What do you think? Good job cleaning it, by the way, where’d you get it?”
“A trashcan across the river, but yeah I cleaned it up pretty well. And…colorful.” She smiled and laughed as he picked it up and carefully threw it on his shoulders. The simple harness fit snuggly and blended discretely with his black shirt. “I would ask for something scary for my face, but the colors off-set that.”
“You look like a bat with a color problem.”
“Or one with a transvestite caught in my wing.”
She laughed loudly while Caleb smiled down at her. From the doorway, Joy smiled and cackled a little to herself. “Looks good,” she said, breaking Caleb and Alice from one another, but not their smiles. “You might get a lot of looks at orientation tonight with that.”
“Oh, David set you up for tonight?”
“Yeah, both of us.” Caleb looked between Alice and Joy. “And I’m hoping I’ll get to fly there in style in these things.”
They all smiled again, Joy staring uncomfortably at Caleb still. ‘I thought you enjoyed people staring at you?’
‘It’s different when she does it.’
“What are you going to be, Joy?”
She averted her eyes to Alice, becoming more pointed and assertive with the shift in attention. “Cat woman. I’ve got to change.”
With that, she disappeared into the bathroom as Alice and Caleb made for the living room. It wasn’t long before the small group was reconvened: ‘A cat, a pumpkin, the sun and the moon, a…Shakespeare? And Alice, the fairy godmother.’ Joy, Stewart, Angela and Christopher, and Benny piled out onto the streets ahead of Caleb and Alice. They all chattered quietly together as Caleb followed the fairy woman down the street to start the truck. “My wings won’t be fitting in there. I’ll keep everyone safe in the back.”
“They won’t need to be safe, dude, we’re going trick-or-treating.”
“Never know. It’s good comet weather.”
The brush of her hand against his fabric arm didn’t go unnoticed as he let down the gate and gently climbed into the bed. Wheels rolled over seventeen times before they stopped again. Joy, Stewart, and the couple piled in with Caleb while Benny sang a poetic verse before entering the cab. Joy sat noticeably close to Caleb while everyone else found a wall of the four-by-four to lean against. Alice drove slowly as the business district rolled by quickly. Caleb allowed his power to carefully sneak around to the front, his closed eyes allowing his security blanket in front to serve as a visual range from infinite angles along the forward plane. He observed small children as they carelessly ran across the street in costumes only ever visible in direct light, and the patterned illumination of porch light after porch light on either side of the street.
The brakes chirped next to a curb and everyone slowly spilled out. ‘A few of them are on the verge of a nervous break-down.’
‘That’s what happens when you go from an abandoned gym to the wide open streets.’
Caleb stepped into the unofficial middle of the group as Alice passed around plastic bags. “These are for candy, not vomiting people. Treat this just like softball: deep breathes, happy smiles, and try to look up. Don’t worry about that last one too much.”
A few of them nervously chuckled while the rest fiddled with their bags and costumes. Alice kept a bag for herself while not handing Caleb one. She walked closer to him and played with his wings as they walked. “We’ll share a bag.”
“I don’t get my own?”
They exchanged a look. “Would you rather have your own?”
He intentionally bumped into her before putting his right arm around her shoulder. “I think this might be a little better than a few handfuls of candy.”
She laughed sweetly. Her clothes had transformed into a wrapping costume that showed her rounded, small shoulders above a light blue dress that quickly hugged into her hips. From there, it exploded out and into a dainty hula skirt. He studied this and her plastic tiara. ‘So suited.’ “The feathers tickle my back. They’re warm though. You’re warm too.”
“Where are we going first, lovebirds?”
Caleb whirled to his left side and saw Joy looking up to him with a large smile. He awkwardly smiled back to her. “Pick a side of the street and let’s see what we can pick up.”
They wandered from house to house, drawing awkward stares as a group and individually. Their bags were filled little by little from smiling older ladies and dressed-up couples with smaller children picking their favorite candies from large bowls. Everyone stayed in line as they walked up five blocks and down six blocks: ‘Alice always under the feathery side, Joy constantly on the other. Why does she walk so close to me?’
‘She’s an antonym for her name.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You spent years in an asylum. You know the look of a deranged person.’
‘She’s not deranged.’
‘Your evidence?’
‘Just being as openly intuitive as you are.’
‘You’ll see.’
Joy ran up behind everyone else as they approached one of the final houses. Alice anchored his hand on the main sidewalk. “Alone time?”
He looked back towards the group as they tentatively walked forward. “What’s been on your mind?�
�
“I read faces. Don’t try to copy me. You were thinking heavy not a second before.”
“I was…having a thought conversation with my roommate.”
She smiled. “I know what he wants.”
“Yeah, me too. That’s why I’m still not sleeping a lot.”
“No. He wants that, I mean, but he really, really wants something else. Did you know that?”
“No.”
‘Shut her up or I will.’
Caleb held firm as his power began to manifest itself. “He wants you to suffer. Since you blame yourself for…Carol, well he naturally blames you too. You hate yourself from two different angles.”
Caleb looked down and dropped her hand. “I should be hated from all angles.”
Alice stepped under his lowered chin. “No you shouldn’t be. Why would anybody hate you?”
“Because I failed her so hard.”
She stepped back as the group rejoined them. They walked quietly as a group for twenty feet until they turned and walked up the last walk. Alice came close again. “What do you look for in a girl?”
“A girl I date?”
“Yeah what attracted you to Carol?”
“She was smart, funny, and had pretty eyes.”
“That’s it? That’s as strict as you can get?”
“That’s what I saw in her. She wasn’t particularly strong or sweet. I was swept up into her sometimes, but I took her image and distorted it. Are you asking what I see in you?”
“No, but you could tell me.”
Caleb managed a smile. “Eh, I won’t tell you that quite yet.” She didn’t pout but waited patiently for him to continue. “I had a lot of time to re-evaluate when I was watching after her. A big part of me thinks I should never be with a girl because I’m too dangerous, but the most important parts of my soul need someone to connect with right now, and she seems to be a female.” She smiled at him as he took her hand. “Someone that believes in the semblance of right and wrong, the importance of strength, and the infallible relationship between love and life. That’d be quite a girl.”
“Love and life?”
“You need one to have the other.”
“Yeah, but the look on your face is bold, like you’d be willing to die for one.”
“I’d be willing to die for both.”
“You want to die?”
“No, that’s my urge for self-punishment you’re seeing now.”
“Well, if you have life and love, you have to have death then?”
“No, see,” he entwined their fingers, “having life and love as a conjoined entity presupposes that you have someone to give love to in life. Maybe that’s what I want most in a girl.”
“Tell me; I want to know.”
“A girl who believes in it so strongly that if she saw me standing on a cliff ten, fifty feet away about to fall, she would run up from behind me and reach out and catch me and yank me back up with nothing more than her will for us to keep living and loving. That’s what something like this can do. It can look death in the eye and smile with two hands tangled as the couple walks away towards the widening sunrise.”
The group rejoined them again before Alice could crawl into the truth of his statement. Everyone quickly walked to the truck; Alice created separation between her and Caleb as she hopped into the cab and Caleb into the back. ‘That’s how grateful she is for your chivalric exposition.’
‘That was an anvil. She’ll say something about it later.’
Power paused in a response. ‘She’s mumbling about it now.’
‘What’s she saying?’
‘Just listen through me.’
‘Just tell me.’
‘She’s complimenting her own ability to stay calm. I can feel her skin horripilating. It radiates as I when we are pushing at the limits of our physical realms. Her tiny lips are fluttering as fast as her mind can produce the ability. What you said touched her. She can’t seem to grasp the complete infinitude of what you proposed, but she seems certain that she won’t stop until she knows what it feels like to have that kind of love.’
They ran over a shallow pothole.
‘Why did you tell me that?’
‘You asked.’
‘I’ve asked you a hundred times to shut up or to cooperate and you never do.’
‘My investment with this girl is the same as yours. You won’t listen to me with fate on the line. I need her to show you how useless this idea is.’
‘See, that doesn’t ring true either. You feel how I feel for her, so you know that I like her. If you were really trying to destroy my will, you’d be pushing me towards someone else. Something else is driving you.’
‘Preposterous.’
‘It’s fine to care about her.’
‘I don’t. She is a babysitter I’ve hired for three months. Nothing but an intern into the ultimate destructive office in the land.’
‘I don’t buy that.’
Keys suddenly jangled in his face. “Drive to orientation with Joy.”
He gently tried to tug them from her hand, but her grip was resolute. “I’ll be careful with it. And I might even bring it back in one piece.”
“I’ll let you borrow it if you do two things.”
“Just two? I’m good for at least four.”
“Just two for now. Deal?”
“Let’s hear them.”
“You have to come back and talk to me tonight until I fall asleep.”
Caleb held up one finger.
“And you have to stay in the morning.”
He didn’t bring up the second finger but reset his expression into a casually serious pose. “Where else would I go?”
“To be alone, to be anywhere else, to do the smart thing and run away. Anything’s a possibility, but the way that you talk and the way that you act have me really, really, really not wanting you to do the smart thing, or even the second smartest thing. Right now, I want you to be stupid and stay with me and not leave at least until tomorrow afternoon.”
Caleb smiled at her while snatching the keys and jumping out of the truck bed. “If anything’s possible, then it’s possible that I’m not doing anything stupid at all.”
He hopped into the old truck seat, noticing Joy to his right, and smiled in the driver’s side mirror to a twirling and smiling Alice. The truck groggily started under a heavy injection of gas by Caleb’s foot. “So, do you know where this place is?”
“Yeah go south on the highway,” she said while pressing her fingertip flat against the front windshield. “You’re not really going to work in that are you?”
He tore off the wings and shoved them in the small crevice behind the driver’s seat. “The all-black will have to do. I’ll tell them I’m a cat-burglar during the day.”
“That’ll be a good reason to get a job, because you’re wearing the black during the day and don’t fit in.”
‘Bucket of wit that one.’
“Are you looking forward to this?”
“I don’t know. I do like sitting around doing nothing and all. That’s why group is so fun. Just sit there and pretend to listen to everyone else’s problems, then make up some problems for one-on-one time. I wish we got paid for it.”
“You don’t share anything real there?”
She turned and lost her smile as she stared at the side of Caleb’s face. “Do you?”
Caleb turned to glance at her momentarily before turning off the exit as she pointed. “I pretty much shared my whole life story the other day.”
“I really thought you made that up. I’m not Alice; I’m no good telling lies and truth.”
“What is your talent?”
“Take a left at the light. So, you like Alice?”
‘Touchy subject. Do keep pushing.’
‘No, it’s obviously not an open forum.’ “Yeah we like talking to each other.”
They pulled into a parking lot and between the allotted lines beneath a streetlamp. As he exited and stared
through the pavement, Joy flashed to his side and said loudly, “I like talking to you.”
His eyes snapped back and his brain attached to what she had said. ‘You really could have her legs around you in a janitor’s closet by the end of the night if you tried hard enough.’
‘Wow, you’re goals are…sad.’ “Good, I’m glad you do.”
“Do you remember where we go,” she asked as two men nodded their coffees from behind thick glass windows. ‘They can’t be security.’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘I could outrun them without a drop of you in my blood.’
‘And if you were stationary, I’d tear them apart. Either way works.’
“No, but I assume we follow the yellow-brick road here.” His finger traced the air along a yellow line on the grey floor, but stopped when a man in an orange vest speedily walked towards them. “Or we wait for this guy to tell us.”
“Caleb?” ‘He’s pointing his phone at us like a gun.’
“That’s me.”
“You follow me, we’ll get you set up, and throw you right out into it. Joy?”
‘Rather overweight man for how fast he walks wouldn’t you say?’
‘Is he not allowed to have muscle in his body?’
‘The mustache is rather fifties of him too.’
‘Are you the fashion police? You realize you’re not being mean right now, just bitchy right?’
‘I’ve been up for days. I’m quite literally on auto-pilot.’
‘It’s good to know that you’re some kind of pseudo-person. Feel free to leave the rest of the night to me.’
‘Perhaps I will.’
“Here,” the portly man said while shoving a small cubby basket full of machinery and supplies into his arms. “Real simple. Turn the gun on, read the display, scan the appropriate bar code, take the right amount of items, ship the box. Brain surgery. Get to it, call if you have questions.”
‘What a life….’
- - -
Noticing the light from the cracked door, Caleb carefully pushed it open to reveal a more organized apartment. Alice was curled in her chair, dressed in loose sweatpants that barely clung to her narrow waist and a white top that hid everything beneath her black bra, reading something from a manila folder within her huge chair. She held it up as Caleb took off his shoes and continued to scan the room. ‘Some boxes are missing.’