CHAPTER 12
Beth stood in the doorway to Cornflower’s room where she was moved to from the Emergency Room. Cornflower was looking at the ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing she had ever seen.
As she stood in the doorway she was pushed aside by someone rushing past her.
“My God Cornflower, what happened? I rushed right over as soon as I heard,” Selena squealed in a worried voice.
Beth regained her composure in the doorway and saw Selena, the waitress from Morning Watch Cafe, who was her cousin’s closest friend. She rushed to the bedside and threw her arms around Cornflower.
Cornflower sat motionless and didn’t return the affection.
“How did you find out?” Cornflower asked in a flat tone.
“I’m going to get some coffee. I’ll be back in a few,” Beth said looking at the friends and turned to leave.
“I saw Father Masters in the store buying pull-ups for Kelly. He said you passed out last night and you were here. I rushed right over. I was so worried.”
“I can imagine you were Selena. You’re my closest friend. You have been like family to me.”
“You’re like family to me too, Cornflower. What did the doctor say? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine now. Have you spoken to Tommy?”
“No, not recently. Where is he? He should be here with you.”
“I asked him to leave. And I’m asking you to leave also Selena. I don’t ever want to see or talk to you again.”
Tears welled up in Selena’s eyes. Her best friend’s words drove a knife into her heart. She could barely stand.
“Why? Why are you saying this?”
“You always wanted what I had. Now you can have it. Let me give you a hint Selena, my closest friend in the world; I was at my house last night. Did you enjoy fucking my husband?” she said as cold as an Arctic chill.
Selena stood motionless staring at Cornflower. Her eyes filled with tears, her mouth trembled and her hands clasped nervously.
“No need to answer Selena. I guess by all the moaning you were doing, you enjoyed it,” She continued in that flat unfeeling tone.
“Now get the hell out,” Cornflower yelled.
Selena’s body jerked as if she had fallen asleep and was awakened by some loud noise.
“I’m sorry Cornflower,” she said through tears drenching her cheeks.
“I said get out,” Cornflower screamed at her.
Selena backed away unbelieving out of the room, turned and walked briskly down the hall, passing Beth without a word.
“Cornflower, I saw Selena.”
“Sit down Beth. I want to tell you a story. When I was a little girl we always went to church. I learned that nothing was more important than family. With a strong family, you could survive anything. I believe that,” she said shaking her head. “A woman should show respect for herself and save herself for the man who would be her husband. I did that. Be fruitful. I did that also. Love your husband. Respect your husband. Support your husband. I did all of that. And what have I received in return? My husband fucking my best friend. Betrayal is what I received” she said bitterly.
Beth rose from her chair, went to Cornflower, sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped her arms around her. “I’m so sorry,” Beth whispered.
“I’m not done with my story Beth.”
Beth brushed Cornflower’s hair behind her ears with her fingers and returned to perch on the edge of her chair.
“Last night I wanted to get more pull-ups and clothes and some toys for Kelly. When I went into the house I didn’t expect anyone to be there. The only light that was on was the one I usually leave on in the hall. I thought I heard something. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and went upstairs. The sounds were louder when I got to the top of the stairs. I couldn’t believe my ears; the sounds of lovemaking. I went further down the hallway. My bedroom door was open. There in my bed was my husband and best friend making love. He was on top of her. Her legs were wrapped around his and she was moaning and clawing at his back. He was fucking my best friend,” she said as tears dribbled down her cheeks and her voice cracked. “I stood frozen in the door holding the knife. They didn’t even notice me. I could hear him; your pussy is so good. This pussy is mine. I wanted to stab them both with that knife.”
Tears streamed down her face as she relayed her agonizing story.
“There’s more Beth. I backed away, went downstairs and returned the knife. When we got back to your house I was so upset. I couldn’t sleep. I went to bathroom to see if there were any sleeping pills in the medicine cabinet. Beth I was so miserable, so hurt. I just wanted to rest. Maybe I would wake up after sleeping and discover it was all a nightmare. There were no sleeping pills but there was heart medication. I no longer wanted to live. I spent my life being a good Christian, a good wife, a good mother and look what it has gotten me. I just didn’t want to face another day. So, I downed the heart medication. I knew what it would do to me. I took it and I waited for my heart to become irregular and then stop. The fluttering in my chest was odd. I got up because I wanted to get a glass of water. That’s the last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital. The doctor says they were successful at reversing the effects of the medication. I’m grateful because now I have a chance to watch my Kelly grow up. I have not told anyone yet, but I’m three months pregnant.”
“Oh Cornflower, I’m so sorry you’re going through all this. You know you can stay with us until you’re on your feet.”
“Beth, promise me you won’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t.”
“I’m feeling really tired Beth. I’m going to take a nap.”
“I’ll stop past home, shower, and change and get something to eat while you nap.”
Beth rose from her chair, bent over and kissed Cornflower on the forehead. “I love you cousin,” she said.
“I love you too.”
CHAPTER 13
Beth showered and changed into jeans and a navy blue bandeau. She felt so miserable. Her body fell to the bed on her back like a sack of potatoes. She stared up at the ceiling as her thoughts went back to the hospital room. Cornflower was so solemn as she recounted what led her to shun the thought of life.
How could she leave her sweet child? How could she think of ending her life while Tommy lived on? It makes no sense, Beth thought to herself.
She shifted to her stomach and buried her eyes in the crook of her elbow as hot tears escaped her eyes.
She would be there for Cornflower. Whatever she needed to survive this, Beth would be there to help her through. Beth lifted herself to sit on the side of the bed. It was time. She needed to pull herself together and return to her cousin whom she loved and had been her idol throughout her life.
The scent of coffee swept under her bedroom door. Beth went into her moderate sized bathroom. She opened her medicine cabinet and starred in; nothing there except period relief pills from the Dollar Store, Tylenol and Aspirin. Although seemingly harmless, these pills could do some damage to a body if used as an overdose. She would find a safe place to store them. She didn’t ever want a repeat of what Cornflower had done.
Beth bathed her face with cool water from the sink faucet, patted her face dry and descended the stairs. She found her mother sitting at the kitchen table sipping coffee. Kelly sat on a chair boosted up with a couple of ancient phone books eating cookies.
“Good morning mother. May I join you with a cup of coffee?”
“No need to ask dear. Come, have a seat. Kelly and I were just talking about Cornflower. How was she when you left the hospital dear?”
“She was tired. She wanted to take a nap, so I came home to shower and change. How long is Kelly staying?”
“I was willing to keep my sweet little angel until Cornflower was out of the hospital but my sister-in-law said she wanted her grandchild with her.”
“When will Aunt Jackie and Uncle Ralph pick Kelly up?”
“They’re on their way
. They should be here any minute.”
No sooner had the words left Kate’s lips, her sister-in-law walked in followed by Ralph and her husband.
“There’s my grandbaby,” Jackie said playfully as she scooped Kelly up into her arms kissing her chubby cheeks.
“Sit down and join us for coffee,” Kate said.
Jackie sat across the table from Beth who was sipping her coffee. Kate placed a mug in front of her sister-in-law and filled it with hot aromatic coffee. Ralph paced around the kitchen sipping coffee from the mug handed to him by Kate. Kate handed her husband a mug of coffee which he took and sat at the table.
“Beth, how was Cornflower when you left her,” Aunt Jackie asked in such a soft voice Beth had to strain to hear her.
“She was…”
Her answer was interrupted by the loud chime of Ralph’s cell phone.
“Hello. Yes this is Ralph Masters. Yes. Okay. Okay. Alright,” he said into his cell.
All eyes were fixed on Ralph as he disconnected the call and lowered his head.
“What’s wrong honey,” Jackie asked full of concern. Who was it?”
“It was the hospital.”
“The hospital,” Jackie gasped covering her heart with her hand.
Ralph’s eyes were worried as he passed on the message. “They want us to come to the hospital. Cornflower has taken a turn.”
“A turn? What kind of turn?” Jackie demanded as her eyes filled with tears.
“The doctor didn’t elaborate. He said he will talk to us when we arrive. I guess I need to call Tommy. We used my number as the main contact since Tommy had to work.”
Beth took in a sharp breath which caught in her throat. She wanted to tell her uncle not to call that bastard, not to tell him anything. He had no right to be there with Cornflower.
“Beth, honey, are you okay?” her mother asked.
“Yes, I’m fine. We should leave.”
Fuck Tommy was what she wanted to say.
CHAPTER 14
The family was shown to a room referred to as the Family Room noted by a gold plate which hung on the door with those words engraved. Tommy was already there leaning against the far wall. Selena sat on a couch across the room from Tommy sipping a bottle of water. Beth, Jackie carrying Kelly, Ralph, Kate and Father Masters slowly ascended upon the Family Room. Jackie sat Kelly on the couch with her sippy cup.
“Have you spoken to anyone Tommy?” Ralph asked as the door opened and a man dressed in a white lab coat stepped through. His badge identified him as Dr. Jerome Albright.
“Doctor, how is my daughter?” Jackie asked in a voice begging for good news.
Dr. Albright stood in the middle of the room, his expression frozen like a poker player. He folded his hands chest high in front of him and began. “Fifteen minutes ago Jessica expired.”
“EXPIRED!” Jackie screamed. “What does that mean?”
“Jessica has passed on,” he added.
“Are you saying my daughter is dead,” she shrieked with tears rushing down her face.
“She’s gone. I’m so sorry.”
The baby started crying. Jackie fell to her knees supporting herself with her hands on the floor. Ralph went down to her and held her. He lifted her to her feet and walked her to the couch where she sat with her face buried in his chest crying uncontrollably. Her body shook as Ralph tried to comfort her in his loving embrace.
Beth watched as Tommy stood with his back against the wall. When those awful words, she’s gone, escaped the doctors lips, Tommy slid slowly down the wall, his mouth open, his eyes unfocused. Selena screamed and ran from the room. Father Masters ran after her.
Beth stood, more pain in her heart than she could endure. Her eyes blazed. She hated Tommy for what he had done and what he had caused to happen. She walked over to him, looked down where he was slumped on the floor with his eyes cast down. Her tears fell from her eyes landing on his head.
“Look what you have done,” Beth said in a low gruff voice.
She hated him.
“This is your fault. She loved you. She gave herself to you and only you,” she continued as her voice rose with her anger.
“You no good bastard,” Beth screamed. “She was three month pregnant. I hope you and Selena burn in hell.”
The Family room fell silent. Not even Kelly made a sound. All eyes gaped at Beth as she glared down at Tommy with her verbal assault.
“You no good bastard,” she whispered as she ran from the Family Room.
CHAPTER 15
Beth lay across her bed with the sunshine beaming through her bay window bathing the six red roses held in a crystal vase. A light tap sounded at her door followed by a whispering voice, “It’s Lil. Are you awake?”
“Come on in Lil.”
“Good morning. I just stopped by to see how my favorite friend is doing.”
Beth sat up giving her friend a bright smile. “I’m doing better,” she said patting the bed beside her for Lil to sit.
“I can’t believe it’s been two weeks since Cornflower passed. I miss her so much,” Beth confided.
“I know you do. How are her parents doing?”
“As well as can be expected, I guess.”
“That was the saddest funeral I have ever attended,” Lil said.
“Me too. The saddest part was how Kelly kept pointing at Cornflower in the casket and saying ,Mommy sleep. How do you explain death to a twenty-two month old child?”
“I know her grandparents will find a way,” Lil answered.
Beth gave Lil a fleeting look, “I feel kind of sorry for Tommy. Before the funeral I despised him. I watched him the entire time.”
“You did?”
“Yes, I was feeling he had no right to be there. It was all his doing. But then I began to feel sorry for him. He sat with his head down the entire time and I could see tears falling on his lap. And remember what happened at the gravesite?”
“Who could forget that?”
“When he threw himself on Cornflower’s casket sobbing and screaming, apologizing and begging for her forgiveness, I wanted to run to him and console him. Is that a betrayal to my cousin?”
“No Beth. You are a loving person. Not many people there really knew Cornflower killed herself. So, I guess they were puzzled, but you knew. You felt the depth of his pain. I suspect he is living in his own hell now. And for you to want to reach out to console Tommy despite what he did shows how much empathy you possess,” Lil said as she reached over to hug her friend with one arm as Beth rested her head on Lil’s shoulder.
“I noticed Andrew by your side at the funeral. How are things going with him?”
“He’s been great these past weeks. I told him he didn’t need to attend the funeral, but he insisted. He said he liked Cornflower and wanted to pay his respects. He also said he wanted to be there for me.”
“Oh Beth, you better hold on to him.”
“I think I will,” Beth said with a renewed smile.
“Changing the subject, have you cozied up with Andrew yet?”
“I know exactly what you’re asking,” Beth answered with a chuckle.
“And no. You know I’m waiting until I get married.”
“I don’t know how you can do it,” Lil said smiling and shaking her head.
“The way I see it, that’s like hunting for the best pair of shoes on Rodeo Drive; picking the pair you think you love and buying them without trying them on with a no return policy. Then you get home and wear them out for the night and they hurt your feet like hell. They made you miserable and you spent the entire night regretting you bought them. Now you can’t even return them. You’re stuck with them.”
“Lil stop,” Beth said laughing. You always know how to make me feel better.”
“Well, they’re your feet. Who am I to tell you how to buy shoes?”
“I really like Andrew. Oh, I’m so excited! I haven’t told you where he works and what he does.”
“Wow, I see you’re
delighted about it. What gives?”
“Okay, his name is Dr. Andrew Conway,” Beth said excitedly grabbing Lil’s hands and squeezing them, “and he practices at Midtown University Hospital.”
Lil leapt from the bed. “You’re serious? He’s a doctor?”
“I wouldn’t lie to you Lil.”
“That’s where we’re going to be working. Holy shit Beth, I’m green with envy.”
“Thank God that green color you’re sporting is envy. I thought you were getting ready to throw up on my plush carpet,” Beth said exploding with laughter.
“Well at least if you marry him without trying him on and he doesn’t fit, you can always shop for satisfaction with his checkbook,” Lil said playfully.
“You know how daddy is. I’d be crazy to go against the laws of the bible. You know, everyday he prays for Cornflower’s soul. He says she went against God by taking her own life and he’s afraid she won’t make it to heaven.”
“Your father also teaches that God is a forgiving God.”
“I guess that’s why he is praying for her everyday; asking God to forgive and accept Cornflower. I hope his prayers are answered,” Beth said in an emotionally filled whisper as Lil stood announcing happily, “Mmm, you smell that Beth? Your mother is cooking bacon and eggs.”
“I smell coffee too. We should keep her company and maybe she will feed us,” Beth said with a smile, standing and reaching for her robe at the foot of the bed.
“Hey again Mrs. Masters. Breakfast really smells good,” Lil said taking in an exaggerated breath.
“Good morning mother. Care for some company? Hey, Kelly’s here awfully early.”
Beth and Lil pulled out chairs and plopping down began making kissy noises and baby talk with Kelly while cups were placed in front of them followed by streams of coffee.
“Kelly has been staying with her grandparents. Tommy is all broken up. He can’t take care of himself. Kelly is just too much for him right now,” Kate Masters said.
“He deserves to suffer,” Lil replied.
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