by Wild (lit)
Soon I drifted off to sleep. I felt safe in his huge bed knowing he was watching over me.
When I woke I felt well rested, even though I could still feel some pain in my leg. I looked around and saw light streaming in from the skylight. It was morning.
As I sat up in bed I saw an unfamiliar item standing next to the bed. It had four metal legs, handles and wheels on two of the legs.
“Vince?” I called out and he appeared instantly. He looked like he had just stepped out of the shower. His hair was still damp. He was unfortunately already fully dressed.
I promised myself to wake up earlier the next day, so I might catch a glimpse of him again like the first morning.
“You’re awake,” he stated the obvious with a smile.
“Good morning.”
“Did you sleep alright?”
I nodded. “I did.” I paused. “Vince, what’s this?”
I pointed at the item which stood next to the bed.
“Ah, yes. That’s a Zimmer frame,” he confirmed my suspicions. “Believe me, it’s so much easier using this rather than crutches.”
It could only mean one thing.
“You don’t want to carry me anymore.” I was disappointed.
His look was regretful.
“Annette, it’s not that I don’t want to.” He stopped. It looked like he had a hard time explaining himself.
“Oh?”
“After what happened yesterday …” He stopped himself. “I went too far. I have to apologize. I think I should just try to keep my hands off you.”
“Nobody’s asking you to,” I assured him.
“Please hear me out. You really don’t know me.”
I wanted to protest, but didn’t get a chance.
“I want to give you a chance to get to know me first before I let myself go like that again. There is so much …” He broke off and started again. “You’re so young.”
I protested. “I’ll be twenty-six in October!” In three years, I added in my head.
He raised his eyebrow.
“As I said you’re so young and I’m older than you might think.”
So what if he was thirty-five?
“What I’m trying to say is, I’m having a hard time controlling my emotions around you, and carrying you in my arms doesn’t help.”
I looked at him, and my look must have been sad.
“I want you to know everything about me before, before … Annette, I know myself. Don’t you see? Didn’t you feel what happened last night was way beyond what I should have allowed myself to do? You’re in my care.”
I couldn’t see what was so terrible about that.
“Do you regret kissing me?”
He shook his head.
“No, how could I? But there are things you won’t like about me, bad things.”
“You make it sound so sinister.”
“Because it is.”
His eyes tried to burn through me.
“Well, I’m not afraid.”
I reached for the Zimmer frame to lift myself up. I was aware that my t-shirt had hitched up and was revealing my panties. I checked for his reaction. His eyes were filled with desire, and I guessed it wouldn’t take me too long until I would seduce him into kissing me again.
I got out of bed and started moving toward the bathroom.
“And don’t even think about trying to seduce me,” I heard him say behind me. Somehow his voice sounded a little unsure. “I can spot it a mile away.”
“Fine.” I challenged him without looking back.
8. Vince’s Temptation
She was feisty, I had to admit. She reminded me of myself at that age: ready for any challenge. Twenty-six? I didn’t think so. Generally women tried to make themselves younger, not older. She would have to do much better to come even close to my age.
But I wasn’t really worried about her age. I was worried about the pain I would cause her once she found out what I was, and the pain she would cause me when she left me.
I needed a strategy. The longer I could hold off having sex with her, the more I could show her and myself that there was still enough humanity left in me, the less likely it would be that I would involuntarily transform in front of her.
My transformation was triggered entirely by emotions. The stronger the emotion, the faster the transformation would be. So far my transformations had always come at times of fear, hate and the desire to save somebody’s life. Yesterday had shown me that passion was just as powerful a trigger, and I had come extraordinarily close to transforming. It had taken all my strength to suppress the transformation.
There was nothing I wanted to do more than throw her back into bed and make love to her until she begged me to stop. I balled my hands into fists to suppress the desire I felt.
Not only was I afraid she would run away once she saw me in my transformed state, but I was even more terrified that I would hurt her, even if it was accidental. I was so strong when I was in my animal form that what I thought would be a gentle touch could turn out to be a violent move slashing her skin open.
I hadn’t been with a woman since I had become what I was now. I didn’t know what I was capable of. Not even I could imagine how much danger she could be in.
I had no plan of how and when to tell her. I suspected the longer I held off touching her, the more she would come up with ways to seduce me. I had seen it in her eyes. She wanted me. Hadn’t I hoped for that? Hadn’t I fretted about it for the last two days, wondering if she would want me? And now that I had seen it in her eyes and felt it in her kiss, I was afraid of the consequences.
I hadn’t expected for this to happen so fast. I should have never given into the temptation to kiss her. There was no way back from there. Now I wanted more and so did she.
When she came out of the bathroom, now fully dressed, my eyes were undressing her already. I had to cut out those thoughts.
“Would you like some breakfast?”
“Yes, please.”
She looked funny as she pushed the Zimmer frame toward the bar. The bar stools were too high for her to lift herself up without help.
“I can bring you your breakfast to the couch,” I offered hoping she wouldn’t see through me.
She did.
“No, I’d rather eat at the bar.” Of course, she did, because it meant she needed my help getting onto the bar stool.
“Would you?” She made a gesture indicating she wanted to be lifted up.
I complied and put my hands around her slim waist. It took me less than two seconds to lift her onto the bar stool and let go of her again.
Nice try.
I grinned when I saw her disappointed look.
“As I said, I can spot it a mile away.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” she claimed.
I walked over to the opposite side of the bar.
“Would you like some orange juice?”
“Sure.”
I poured her a glass and set it in front of her.
“What would you like to eat?”
“I’m not that hungry.” She drank from the glass.
“You should eat something. You’ll need to take some more pain killers and I want you to have something in your stomach first.”
“Okay. Here’s the deal.”
What was she planning?
“I’ll eat one bite for every question you’ll answer.”
“That’s not how it works.”
“Well, wasn’t it you earlier today who suggested I should get to know you better?”
She was right.
“Touché! Would you like yogurt, cereal, eggs or steak?”
She gave me a triumphant look. “I’ll have cereal mixed with yogurt.”
I mixed her concoction and placed the bowl in front of her. “One spoonful for every answer? No cheating.” I wanted her to confirm.
She nodded.
Instead of giving her a teaspoon I gave her one of my oversized tablespoons. She looked at it
and gave me a sharp look. Two could play that game.
I could tell her mind was working overtime trying to pick the right questions which would reveal more about me. While she was busy figuring out her questions, I took a steak out of the fridge and slapped it onto the grill. I forced myself to leave it on there for longer than normal. I didn’t want her to notice how rare I really ate my meat.
I almost made a mistake when I reached to turn the steak over with my bare hands and stopped myself in mid movement. I needed to use the tongs in front of her. She watched.
“Do you only eat meat?” She asked.
I turned around and put the steak on my plate. “Pretty much.” That was an easy question.
She made no attempt to eat any of her yoghurt. “One answer, one spoonful,” I reminded her.
“Oh!” She exclaimed and I realized she hadn’t meant to ask this question. “I didn’t …”
I cut her off. “Nevertheless, I answered it, so if you please …” I pointed at her bowl. This would be more fun than I had expected.
She put a small amount of food onto the large spoon.
“That’s not a very full spoon,” I protested.
“It wasn’t a very long answer.”
“Well, if I may elaborate. I’m pretty much what you would call a carnivore. I used to eat vegetables and all the rest, but I’ve gone off it. I don’t have a sweet tooth either. Satisfied?”
She put a little more onto her spoon and ate it. I involuntarily smiled at her. She was cute when she pretended to be upset.
I put my plate next to hers on the counter, walked around the bar and sat down. I dug into my steak forcing myself to eat slowly. I was curious what she would ask next.
“When did you last kiss a woman? And I’m not talking about a peck on the cheek,” she qualified quickly. “And last night doesn’t count either,” she added hastily.
Interesting. She was honing in on my love life, or better, the lack thereof. I couldn’t very well say, thirty years ago, so I had to come up with something which was the truth, but not create any suspicion in her.
“In July of the year I turned 32,” I told her truthfully.
She looked like she was calculating how long ago it was, but without her knowing how old I really was, the calculation didn’t make any sense. She didn’t look like she wanted to waste another precious question on my age.
I pointed at her spoon and she ate her allotted portion.
“This is not a separate question, but could you please elaborate a little.” She gave me a pleading smile.
“What exactly would you like me to elaborate on?” I liked to tease her. I knew exactly what she wanted to know. She was shifting uncomfortably on her bar stool.
“I mean, things like whether you were in love with her,” she said as casually as she could.
Right again.
The woman had just been a casual fling, a blind date one of my colleagues had set me up with. Back then I had been so engrossed in my work I hadn’t had time to form a relationship. During my undergraduate years in college I had been dating a nice girl, but I hadn’t been ready to commit. Once I’d entered Medical School, I had split up with her because my career was more important to me. I hadn’t had a meaningful relationship after that. Flings, yes. One night stands, yes. But no emotional connection with anybody. I had always assumed that once I had established myself in my career I would find the right woman and everything would fall into place. That dream had died with the realization that my transformation would be a constant barrier to forming a true relationship with a woman. Instead, loneliness had become my constant companion during the last thirty years.
“Does it matter?” I was done teasing her. “It’s ancient history. And if it’s any consolation, you’re the only woman who’s ever set foot in my place.” I wanted her to know she was special.
She stared at me, obviously trying to figure out if I was telling the truth.
“The only one?” her voice was just an echo.
I nodded sincerely. “And I’d like to keep it that way.”
I anticipated her next question and answered it before she could ask it. “And I’ve lived here for a long time.”
A very long time.
Her smile was genuine and all the pouting from earlier was suddenly wiped off her face. It was going to be very difficult to keep my hands and my lips off her, I realized. It was only morning and I frankly didn’t know how to make it through the entire day without touching her.
“What is your research about?” She suddenly asked. I hadn’t expected this question. How did she know I was doing research? I had only told her I was a doctor.
“How do you know I’m doing research?” I asked cautiously.
“Well, you have a lab downstairs. Isn’t that where people do research?”
“Oh, the lab, or course.” I figured there was no danger in telling her what research I was doing. I didn’t have to go into the details.
“I’ve been working on finding a switch to turn off the gene which makes people age,” I summarized my thirty-plus years of research.
“Wow.” She seemed genuinely impressed. “You mean, if you found it, we could all stay young forever? Like immortal?”
“Young yes, immortal no. You could still die from diseases or accidents, but your cells wouldn’t age, so you’d look as young as now even if you’re in your sixties.”
Like I.
“And many of the diseases people normally get wouldn’t have the kind of effect on your cells. The younger they are, the easier it would be for them to fight off certain age-related diseases. Of course, other things would still be the same, like cancer or heart disease. But overall, people would live longer and healthier lives.”
She looked at me fascinated.
“Shouldn’t you be eating two spoonfuls for this information?” I smirked.
She did.
“And how far are you with it?”
In a way I was glad I could explain it to her now. It would make it easier on her later when she would find out I had experimented on myself and turned the switch off. It would be one less thing I would have to explain once she started to panic.
“Well, I’ve isolated the gene which controls aging, and I’m trying out different switches.”
“Who are you trying them out on?”
“Mice mostly. They have lots in common with humans, believe it or not.”
I hadn’t spoken to anybody about my work in decades and it felt good to articulate what I was doing even if I couldn’t tell her the whole truth. Not yet, anyway.
“Which reminds me, I have to check on them.” I got off the bar stool and took both our plates to the sink.
“Can I see them?” She surprised me.
“You want to see the mice?”
“Sure. May I?”
I had to lift her off the bar stool and wasn’t quite as fast as earlier when I had lifted her up. She didn’t take advantage, and I enjoyed the few stolen seconds, before she gripped the Zimmer frame.
When we got to the stairs, I looked at her and joked. “Ok. I’m going to carry you down, but don’t try anything funny.”
“No, doc.” She grinned, but kept her word.
Maybe this would work after all. She seemed to have switched out of her seduction mode and decided to be good. At least now I would only have to fight myself and not her too.
While she was in my arms I allowed myself to take in her scent. I had to try to get used to her if I ever wanted to do more than just carry her.
I sat her onto my office chair and pushed her into the mouse room. The lights were already on. I watched her closely as she looked at the wall of cages, and was ready to whisk her out if she freaked at anything.
I scanned the cages quickly. One of the mice was running around erratically, bashing its head into the plastic wall of the cage over and over again. Annette saw it too and threw me a questioning look.
“Side effects. Unfortunately, there are still many problems.
” I took some gloves from the bench and walked over to the cage. Before I took the mouse out, I turned back to Annette.
“I’ll have to euthanize it. I don’t think you should watch.”
I carried the struggling mouse to the bench and put it into a holding cage, while I fixed a syringe. I could feel Annette’s eyes on me.
“It won’t feel anything, I promise you.”
I took the mouse and injected it. Within seconds it stopped moving. I sealed the body in a bag and put it into the refrigerator.
“What happened?”
“It’s trial and error. I test hundreds of combinations of compounds to find the one which can eliminate the side effects. This one wasn’t it.”
“What are the side effects?”
“Do you really want to know?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell her.
“Yes.”
“A heightening of all senses amongst other things.” I kept is as non-descriptive as possible. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t the entire truth either.
“But is that necessarily a bad thing?” I was surprised at how much she seemed to understand.
“All senses: good or bad.”
“But senses aren’t good or bad, they are just senses,” she argued. I looked at her with surprise. She was smart.
“Maybe I didn’t explain it right. It’s not the senses themselves, it’s what the mouse does with them. A survival instinct could turn into unbridled aggression, like you’ve seen with this mouse. If it goes uncontrolled, the mouse is a danger to itself and others.”
She looked back at me and I could see she understood. While I stripped off my gloves and washed my hands thoroughly, I ventured a guess.
“You’ve worked with animals before, haven’t you?”
“I worked at the zoo in Des Moines.”
“You must hate what I do here then, experimenting on defenseless animals?” I inquired softly.
“No. I know it’s necessary for medicine to advance.” I was surprised by her levelheaded answer, especially coming from an animal lover.
“Yes, it’s important to test and test again before starting human trials,” I reflected knowing all too well I had broken this rule before because I had been impatient and arrogant. I tried to put the thought out of my head.