Divided Hearts

by Carolyne Aarsen

  “Is your mother up?”

  Cory glanced back over her shoulder. “Yes, she is.”

  “Good.” Matthew stepped inside the small porch and, taking Cory’s hand, walked to the doorway of the living room. “I just thought I would say hi, Joyce,” he said, smiling at Joyce.

  Joyce looked up, expression neutral. “Not only did you think it, you did it.”

  “Do you mind if I take Cory out after church? Or should I bring her directly home?” Matthew asked.

  “You will probably do what you like anyway, won’t you?”

  “No. I’ll do what Cory wants.” Matthew squeezed Cory’s hand and she felt a sudden rush of affection.

  “Well then, don’t ask me, ask her.” Joyce waved them off.

  “I hope you have a good day,” Matthew said.

  Cory glanced at her mother and was surprised to see her expression soften, a faint smile curve her lips. Despite her mother’s animosity, Matthew’s charm worked on Joyce as well. “I hope so, too,” Joyce said finally. “Now you’d better go, or you’ll be late.”

  Matthew winked at Cory, then with a tug on her hand, pulled her out the door.

  Outside, he whistled, swinging their joined hands as he walked down the road. “This is a beautiful day, isn’t it, Cory?”

  She smiled at him as he turned his head to face her. “That it is,” she agreed.

  They weren’t late as Joyce had predicted, and they found a place somewhere in the middle of the church. They were greeted with a few raised eyebrows, a few perceptive glances.

  Cory felt self-conscious and once again Matthew took it all in stride. He greeted the people he knew, and as they settled into their pew, he scanned the bulletin without any apparent concern. Almost casually, he slipped his arm around her, his fingers trailing on her shoulder. He glanced sidelong at her and winked at her, and Cory relaxed.

  The service began, and Cory let herself be drawn along by the singing and comfort found in the Bible readings, and the encouragement from the minister’s sermon.

  Beside her, Matthew sang easily, obviously familiar with all the songs. He listened to the minister. Toward the end of the sermon, Matthew tucked Cory’s arm under his, holding her hand between his.

  For the first time in many years, Cory felt contentment stealing over her. She felt as if all the anger, confusion, and fear had been gently wiped away by God’s love and by the caring shown her by Matthew.

  She felt safe. Cared for.

  Just before they bowed their heads, she chanced another look at Matthew, appreciating his appeal and charm. Her mother’s warning came back, darkening the moment and bringing up the few misgivings she herself harbored at times.

  Please, Lord, show me that this is true, she prayed, clinging to his hand. Show me that this is real. I want to care for him, I want to trust him. Help me.

  As she prayed, she felt a gentle easing of her misgivings. When the prayer was over, she still clung to Matthew’s hand as they got up to receive the blessing. She didn’t care who saw.

  As they walked from church, Cory felt someone grab her arm.

  “Hey, there, Cory. How’s it going?”

  Cory glanced over her shoulder at Kelsey, who was grinning from ear to ear. “Fine, Kelsey. Just fine,” Cory said hesitantly. She hoped Kelsey would behave herself.

  Kelsey glanced at Matthew with a knowing look. “I see that.”

  Matthew looked back and winked at Kelsey. “Good to see you again. How’s the business?”

  “Don’t ask.” Kelsey waved away his question. “So, I take it you guys don’t mind coaching together for a while yet?”

  “You take it correctly,” Matthew said.

  “Great.” Kelsey grinned at the two of them. “I’d love to chat some more, but I promised Chris I would take him for a drive today. I’ll see you soon, Matthew.” Kelsey tapped Cory on the shoulder. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  Cory watched her friend go, shaking her head. “Maybe I’ll call in sick,” she said with a sigh.

  “Why don’t you?” Matthew agreed, giving her hand another squeeze. “I’ve got to sit in on a hearing I don’t feel like going to. I’d sooner play hooky. We could spend the day together.”

  The slight thrill she felt at being with Matthew all day was tempered by what he said. “So you won’t be at the restaurant tomorrow?”

  Matthew sighed and shook his head. “Afraid not. But I’ll be in on Tuesday. First thing in the morning, in my usual spot.”

  “I’ll be looking for you,” she said.

  “I wish I didn’t have to go, but life flows on.” He slanted her a sideways look, his mouth curved up to one side, his dimple firmly in place.

  He is such a charmer, Cory thought, her heart skipping at his surreptitious look. He held her gaze, his expression growing serious.

  It was a catch-your-breath moment, she thought, still holding his hand, still surrounded by people. But for that split second, there was nobody but Matthew.

  “You sure you don’t mind walking in those?” Matthew said, glancing at the thin sandals Cory wore.

  “It’s not mountain climbing,” Cory said. “I can manage.”

  “Okay.” Matthew held out his hand, she took it, and they started down the secluded path. The sun warmed their faces, and now and again, an imperceptible breeze cooled the air as they walked.

  Matthew drew in a deep breath. The church service had been fulfilling. To have Cory share it with him had made it even more so. Now, to have her by his side made the day complete.

  “I love this place.” She swung their joined hands. “When we first moved here, I would come here every day after work and just walk.”

  “I remember meeting you here that one Sunday.”

  Cory glanced at him, then away. “That was a while ago.”

  And a few events ago, he thought, remembering her animosity then. “You’ve been here almost half a year?”

  Cory nodded, lifting her face to the sun. Her hair swung back from her face. A light flush colored her cheeks and a tender smile curved her lips. She was stunning, beautiful, lovely. The words could express the effect she had on him.

  “Why here?” he continued, his desire to know about her also growing. “Why did you choose Sweet Creek?”

  Cory pursed her lips, looking ahead again. “We just ended up here. Whenever Mom and I would leave, we would pack up the car and head out. Take a few jogs, backtrack maybe.” She gave a small shrug. “Then just go where the road took us, as far as we had money to travel. This last time, it happened to be Sweet Creek.”

  Matthew stopped her, pulling on her hand so she faced him. “Cory, I wish there was some way—” he stopped, realizing how futile his words were.

  “You could change it?” Cory tilted her head to one side as if studying him. Her expression was intent. She smiled and traced the outline of his mouth, her touch as light as a sigh. “Then we wouldn’t be here now, would we? Everything that happened brought us to this point.”

  “You have such a strong faith. That amazes me, considering all you’ve been through.”

  Cory looked away and drew back, but still held Matthew’s hand. “I didn’t always, you know. My mother’s faith was sorely tried both after my father’s death and when she had to give up Nik. Zeke about finished it. She didn’t have much to pass on. But God found me, and for that, I’m thankful.”

  “How did that happen?”

  Cory looked away, her expression clouding.

  She had much sadness to remember. He wanted to erase it from her life and surround her with love and caring and kindness.

  “It happened in the first town after Zeke started intimidating us,” Cory said after a long silence. “Mom and I rented a small house from one of the members of the local church. We hardly had anything, and of course didn’t tell him why. We were so scared Zeke would find us again. Soon we were inundated with furniture and clothes—all donated by the members of his church. They were so good to us. So I started going. Mom c
ame only occasionally—she was quite bitter toward God at that time. She had lost so much.”

  “I realize that now,” Matthew said, pulling her closer. Cory glanced up at him and smiled.

  “I have to confess,” she continued, “I had a hard time with church. I went because I felt I owed the people something, but I always had a hard time accepting God as my Father. The only father I had known didn’t love me and didn’t care for me the way a true father does. The only father I had was the one who lied all the time and hurt me. I would sit beside him, listening to people reciting a prayer starting with ‘Our Father’ and I’d look sidelong and see Zeke. Didn’t work for me, so I fought the whole idea of God and a relationship with him.”

  “What changed?”

  Cory brushed back a strand of hair from her face as she looked away. “The minister in that church had a sermon one day from Luke, about Jesus lamenting for Jerusalem. The part where he says, ‘How often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings.’

  “The idea of Jesus, God, comparing himself to something as simple as a hen. It made me laugh, but it changed my perspective. Since then, I’ve found other passages comparing God’s love to a mother’s love, as well, and that I could relate to. I still struggle with it, but I’m hoping God understands.”

  “I’m not surprised you struggle with seeing God as a father figure. When I first told you about Zeke’s death, I thought you were rather cold and unfeeling,” Matthew said. “Now, knowing what I do, I’m surprised you didn’t jump for joy.”

  Cory shrugged, drawing back from his encircling arm, taking his hand in hers. “I still can have such mixed feelings about Zeke. I still have a hard time believing he’s left me everything. Money’s never been important, but I guess the gesture means something. And, of course, it’s allowed me and my mother to make real plans for the first time in our lives.” She smiled up at Matthew. “You can’t know how liberating that is for us. All our lives, we’ve had to watch every penny that slipped through our fingers. Zeke’s checks bounced so many times and we always got stung with the fees. But now,” she spun around, laughing, “Now we can make all kinds of plans, dream all kinds of dreams. You’ve brought many good things into my life, Matthew McKnight.”

  Matthew’s heart contracted at what she said, her words underscoring the reality of the situation. He wasn’t sure of how she felt toward him. He wondered if her dreams and plans included him.

  But the hardest part was knowing that—by encouraging her to accept the will against her wishes—he had made her vulnerable to Zeke’s empty promises once again.

  He had to tell her about the will. But when he looked down at her, into her soft brown eyes shining with affection, when he saw how her mouth curved and felt her hand holding his, he knew he couldn’t do it yet. She was here beside him. If he were to bend over and kiss her, she would welcome it.

  He did so, just to prove it. She curved her hand around his neck, holding him close.

  The truth had to come out sooner or later. The longer he waited, the worse it looked for him. Nothing from his father yet—a hope he’d been clinging to—so he had no choice.

  Tuesday for sure, he thought. He was gone all day Monday. He would tell her Tuesday.

  He drew away, tracing her features with his finger. “I care for you, Cory,” he said firmly, hoping his conviction came through, hoping she would remember. “I wish I could tell you what you mean to me.”

  She smiled up at him. “I can’t believe my lawyer is at a loss for words,” she joked.

  Matthew pulled her close and kissed her again, his prayers becoming ever more fervent.

  “I keep telling you, you don’t have to keep McKnight hours to impress me,” Nathan said, leaning in the doorway of Matthew’s office early the next morning.

  Matthew looked up from his computer screen and glanced at the clock on the wall. He’d been sitting in front of the computer for two hours already. His eyes felt dry, and his shoulders were sore from hunching over the keyboard.

  “Sorry. I didn’t realize you were here,” he said, stretching his arms above his head.

  Nathan pushed himself away from the wall and walked farther into Matthew’s office. “You don’t need to apologize to me for coming in. I thought you would be getting ready for the hearing.”

  “I’m ready for that. I’ve got a couple of other things I’m working on before I go.”

  “Sounds mysterious.” Nathan smiled. “My secretary tells me she’s been looking up e-mail addresses of every law firm in western Canada for you. Anything I can do to help?”

  Matthew shook his head. “Actually, I’m quitting for the day.” He should tell Nathan what was he doing—that he was conducting his own search for Cory’s brother, but he didn’t think she would appreciate other people knowing.

  He wasn’t sure his initial contacts would come to anything. He had started simple—sending out a generic e-mail to any and every lawyer he had an address for to see if they had clients named Nik, last name unknown, born on such-and-such a date. He’d contacted Social Services, who put him on to a number of agencies that helped reunite adopted children with their natural parents.

  He’d used his legal contacts to put a personal ad in all the small-town western Canadian weekly newspapers through their blanket ad services. He had put the same ad in the major cities’ dailies to be run for two weeks.

  He had used his account at McKnight and McKnight to charge the ads. He didn’t have a clue how much they cost, but it didn’t matter. It was a small start, but he didn’t have time for more until later in the week.

  One way or another, he was finding Cory’s brother.

  “I saw you sitting in church with Cory Luciuk,” Nathan added with an avuncular smile. “You made a nice couple. Too bad you’re gone all day today. Won’t be able to connect with her at the restaurant.”

  “I know,” he said, leaning back in his chair.

  “Absence makes the heart grow fonder. You’ll see her tomorrow.”

  Matthew sighed, rubbing his forehead. He wished he could stifle the twinges of apprehension from the thought of not seeing Cory for a few days.

  “Well, now,” Nathan said with a faint smile. “You don’t seem too eager about leaving.”

  Biting his lip, Matthew leaned forward. “I’ve got some disappointing news that I’ve put off telling her.”

  “I see,” was all Nathan said. He tapped his thumbs together, watching Matthew. “From what I’ve seen, Cory has had many disappointments in her life. I’m sure she’ll weather this one. She seemed pretty happy yesterday.”

  Matthew wished he could be as sure as Nathan was. Nathan didn’t know what Matthew knew about Zeke and his relentless hounding of Cory and her mother.

  Nathan stood and buttoned up his coat. “I imagine you’ve got a few things to get ready before you go. If you have time tonight, stop by the house and let me know how the hearing went.” With a parting grin, Nathan left.

  Matthew stared at the screen saver then reached over and pulled out a picture he had in his drawer.

  It was a picture of Cory, taken by Deirdre at their graduation. He had taken a copy from Deirdre’s place, thinking she wouldn’t notice. She hadn’t.

  For years, it was filed away in Zeke’s file. Last week, he remembered it and asked his secretary to mail it to him.

  It was the only picture he had of Cory. He compared it to the woman he now knew. Her face was younger in the picture, but there was a hardness around the eyes and a firmness to the mouth that Matthew didn’t see in Cory anymore.

  He recalled how she had looked yesterday, how trustingly she had come to his arms, and he felt almost ill.

  Oh, Lord, what is she going to say? What is going to happen when I tell her tomorrow? He fought down a feeling of panic.

  A feeling that, after all this time, he would lose her again. All last night he had prayed, had struggled and tried to let go.

  He kept remembering how s
he reacted the first time he told her about the will. How contemptuously she had said that Zeke had taught her well not to trust any man.

  Matthew had convinced her to trust him to look out for her best interests.

  But how could they have known? It wasn’t uncommon for a will to be over five years old and still valid if the lawyer had no further instructions.

  What this woman had was a holograph will. A piece of paper written by hand, which was not registered, not documented.

  It couldn’t possibly be genuine, he thought, pushing himself away from the desk. Not possibly.

  He clung to that thought as he slipped into his suit coat and picked up his briefcase. He wished he had time for a cup of coffee before he left, but he would have to wait to see Cory until he was back.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Thanks for coming. I hope you enjoyed your meal,” Cory said as she ripped the bill off her pad and set it down in front of the older couple.

  They smiled their thanks, and as she walked away, Cory couldn’t help but look at the clock. It was only nine twenty-five. Matthew rarely came in until ten, but that didn’t stop her from checking, especially since he hadn’t been able to come in yesterday. She’d been watching the clock for the past hour, the minute hand crawling around the face, her nervousness increasing with each increment.

  It’s like high school all over again, she thought with a measure of exasperation. She had dated other men before, some for more than a month, but never had she felt this way about meeting any other man.

  She resisted the urge to go to the washroom and check her hair and makeup. Matthew had seen her in enough different circumstances that it shouldn’t matter what she looked like this time around.

  But it did, she thought, smoothing her hair. A trill of apprehension shivered through her as she once again looked out the long windows to the street beyond.

  What she saw made her stop, her expectation turning to an initial shock of fear.

  A sleek, black car had parked in the street, and through the windows, Cory saw a tall, commanding figure got out.