PRAISE FOR
THE ACCIDENTAL GENIE
“A fast-paced, amusing tale starring an engaging lead couple and the return of the previous stars. Lighthearted, fans will laugh at the scenarios that the OOPS squad confronts due to Jeannie’s out-of-control wishes.”
—Midwest Book Review
“The OOPS team faces a peculiar problem in the newest wisecracking and wacky novel from the always delightful Cassidy. The dialogue is fast and furious, the characters are offbeat, and the situations bizarre, but Cassidy pulls it all together for another laugh-filled adventure.”
—RT Book Reviews
ACCIDENTALLY DEAD, AGAIN
“The dialogue in this book is fast and furious. Cassidy’s quirky and offbeat series continues to be outlandish fun laced with a hint of poignancy. There’s never a dull moment with this bunch!”
—RT Book Reviews
“I really loved this book from beginning to end. From the start I fell into a daze with the characters’ quips and quirks . . . This book is great at intertwining a great plot with quirky characters espousing wonderful dialogue, which just happens to be funny.”
—Night Owl Reviews
“Do yourself a favor and go buy everything that Dakota Cassidy has ever written . . . This book is not only well written, with a twisty plot and great characters, it is hysterical. HYSTERICAL! . . . The characters are over-the-top but hilarious, and you really do care about them and their situations, which makes this paranormal romantic romp even more wonderful.”
—Fresh Fiction
ACCIDENTALLY CATTY
“This light, comedic paranormal romance delivers simple, unencumbered entertainment. A lively pace, the bonds of friendship, and bright humor aided by vampiric sarcasm make for a breezy read with charming characters and no shortage of drama. Cassidy’s fans are sure to enjoy this, while newcomers will be reminded of MaryJanice Davidson’s or Kimberly Frost’s work.”
—Monsters and Critics
“I have been a fan of Dakota’s since The Accidental Werewolf, book one of this series. I loved all of the books in the series, but I think this book is my favorite . . . Accidentally Catty is very funny, cute, and sexy.”
—Night Owl Reviews
“A fun read with some meat to it that will have people looking at you, wondering why you’re laughing, if you’re out in public.”
—Fresh Fiction
ACCIDENTALLY DEMONIC
“The Accidental series by Ms. Cassidy gets better and better with each book. The snark, the HAWT, the characters, it’s all a winning combination.”
—Bitten by Books
“An outstanding paranormal romance . . . Dakota Cassidy delivers snappy dialogue, hot sex scenes, and secondary characters that are just too funny . . . Accidentally Demonic is a hold-your-sides, laugh-out-loud book. With vampires, werewolves, and demons running around, paranormal romance will never be the same.”
—The Romance Readers Connection
“Dakota Cassidy’s books make me laugh and laugh. They are such great fun that I always look forward to the next one with gusto . . . I totally loved this book with a capital ‘L.’”
—Fresh Fiction
THE ACCIDENTAL HUMAN
“I highly enjoyed every moment of Dakota Cassidy’s The Accidental Human . . . A paranormal romance with a strong dose of humor.”
—Errant Dreams
“A delightful, at times droll, contemporary tale starring a decidedly human heroine . . . Dakota Cassidy provides a fitting twisted ending to this amusingly warm urban romantic fantasy.”
—Genre Go Round Reviews
“The final member of Cassidy’s trio of decidedly offbeat friends faces her toughest challenge, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t humor to spare! With emotion, laughter, and some pathos, Cassidy serves up another winner!”
—RT Book Reviews
ACCIDENTALLY DEAD
“A laugh-out-loud follow-up to The Accidental Werewolf, and it’s a winner . . . Ms. Cassidy is an up-and-comer in the world of paranormal romance.”
—Fresh Fiction
“An enjoyable, humorous satire that takes a bite out of the vampire romance subgenre . . . Fans will appreciate the nonstop hilarity.”
—Genre Go Round Reviews
THE ACCIDENTAL WEREWOLF
“Cassidy, a prolific author of erotica, has ventured into MaryJanice Davidson territory with a humorous, sexy tale.”
—Booklist
“If Bridget Jones became a lycanthrope, she might be Marty. Fun and flirty humor is cleverly interspersed with dramatic mystery and action. It’s hard to know which character to love best, though—Keegan, or Muffin, the toy poodle that steals more than one scene.”
—The Eternal Night
“A riot! Marty’s internal dialogue will have you howling, and her antics will keep the laughs coming. If you love paranormal with a comedic twist, you’ll love this book.”
—Romance Junkies
“A lighthearted romp . . . [An] entertaining tale with an alpha twist.”
—Midwest Book Review
MORE PRAISE FOR THE NOVELS OF DAKOTA CASSIDY
“The fictional equivalent of the little black dress—every reader should have one!”
—Michele Bardsley, national bestselling author of Only Lycans Need Apply
“Serious, laugh-out-loud humor with heart, the kind of love story that leaves you rooting for the heroine, sighing for the hero, and looking for your own significant other at the same time.”
—Kate Douglas, author of Dark Wolf
“Expect great things from Cassidy.”
—RT Book Reviews
“Very fun, sexy. Five stars!”
—Affaire de Coeur
“Dakota Cassidy is going on my must-read list!”
—Joyfully Reviewed
“If you’re looking for some steamy romance with something that will have you smiling, you have to read [Dakota Cassidy].”
—The Best Reviews
Berkley Sensation titles by Dakota Cassidy
YOU DROPPED A BLONDE ON ME
BURNING DOWN THE SPOUSE
WALTZ THIS WAY
KISS & HELL
MY WAY TO HELL
THE ACCIDENTAL WEREWOLF
ACCIDENTALLY DEAD
THE ACCIDENTAL HUMAN
ACCIDENTALLY DEMONIC
ACCIDENTALLY CATTY
ACCIDENTALLY DEAD, AGAIN
THE ACCIDENTAL GENIE
THE ACCIDENTAL WEREWOLF 2: SOMETHING ABOUT HARRY
THE ACCIDENTAL DRAGON
THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) LLC
375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014
USA • Canada • UK • Ireland • Australia • New Zealand • India • South Africa • China
penguin.com
A Penguin Random House Company
This book is an original publication of The Berkley Publishing Group.
Copyright © 2015 by Dakota Cassidy.
Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.
Berkley Sensation Books are published by The Berkley Publishing Group.
BERKLEY SENSATION® is a registered trademark of Penguin Group (USA) LLC.
The “B” design is a trademark of Penguin Group (USA) LLC.
eBook ISBN: 978-1-101-63026-6
L
ibrary of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Cassidy, Dakota.
The accidental dragon / Dakota Cassidy.—Berkley Sensation trade paperback edition.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-0-425-26863-6 (softcover)
1. Paranormal romance stories. I. Title.
PS3603.A8685A625 2015
813'.6—dc23
2014040085
PUBLISHING HISTORY
Berkley Sensation trade paperback edition / February 2015
Cover illustration by Katie Wood.
Cover design by Diana Kolsky.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Version_1
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
To anyone who’s ever picked up one of the Accidentals, thank you. Thank you for the amazing journey they’ve taken me on. Thank you for the love you’ve shown my girls over these last seven years. Thank you for the laughter. Thank you for the indescribable joy I’ve experienced when a fan asks me the infamous Accidental question, “Is this in my color wheel?”
Thank you to the fans for the many hours you’ve allowed me to spend holed up in my writing cave, creating utterly implausible, foul-mouthed paranormal accidents. Thank you for the emails, good and, yes, even bad.
Thank you to everyone involved behind the scenes in the making of an Accidental: my editor, Leis Pederson; my agent, Elaine Spencer; and the incredible Accidental cover artist, Katie Wood.
Thank you to all my friends who plotted with me over the years. Thank you to my sons, my mother, my dad, my amazing husband for so many years of support while I wrote each new edition.
Thank you, readers, for giving this real-life “accidental author” the chance of a lifetime.
And always, thank you, Nina, Marty, and Wanda.
You’re forever my girls.
Forever and ever amen.
CONTENTS
Praise for the Novels of Dakota Cassidy
Berkley Sensation titles by Dakota Cassidy
Title Page
Copyright
Acknowledgments
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Epilogue
“Did you hear me, Tessa?” McAllister Malone asked, tamping out a pile of embers with his foot in his best friend’s sister’s store, Auntie Q’s.
“Oh, you were heard,” Tessa Preston replied, her full lips compressing, then thinning into a sharp slash of a line on her soot-covered, water-streaked face.
“I said I was sorry.” Sorry I set the store you work your ass off for on fire. On. Fire.
“Three times in the last three or so minutes. Noted and appreciated.”
Mick gazed down at her in concern, lifting what was left of one of his eyebrows. “You counted?”
Tessa waved a hand under her nose to ward off the stench of burnt electrical wiring. “I like numbers. They soothe me when I’m stressed. It’s a hyper-focus thing.”
“Understood.”
“More appreciation.” Her response, still filled with rational words, held only a twinge of sarcasm.
That worried him. “Tessa,” he coaxed, looking for the usual signs her crank had officially been yanked. He knew she was angry. But right now, maybe due to her shock, her behavior seemed practically catatonic as she floated in and out of the clear need to give him hell and the inability to do so for the magnitude of what he’d done.
So he tried to get a rise out of her again. “C’mon—say something. Call me a slug—or what was that thing you screamed at me the other day? You said I was a—a—”
“An overbearing penis wielder,” Tessa provided with a scowl, clenching her fingers together in a fist. Then the haze she’d been nursing seconds ago clouded her bright eyes again, and her hands relaxed.
Mick nodded his head and gave her a thumbs-up with an encouraging grin. “Yeah. That was it. As always, clever comeback, T. So go ahead. Let’s get your scream on.” He rolled up the charred remains of his sleeves, almost the only bit of material left of his now backless shirt, and mimicked a boxer’s stance to try to get the kind of rise out of her he was accustomed to. His feet stuck to the sopping-wet floor as he got into position. “I’m ready. Let’s do this, Sugar Ray.”
Instead of reacting, Tessa took a shuddering breath. With her fingertips just resting on her bottom lip, she spoke in a hushed whisper. “Fire . . .” Her eyes, darting and wide-eyed, scanned her trashed antiques store, Auntie Q’s.
“Biiig fire,” Mick agreed, spreading his arms wide, still waiting for her to explode. “Like, bonfire. Five-alarm, maybe.”
She gave him a dazed, glassy-eyed glance instead. “Flames . . . so . . . many. Soooo . . .”
“Bet that pissed ya off, huh?” He poked at her verbally, hoping she’d respond like the crouching tiger she was.
But hidden dragon she remained. Though her feet did shift in the puddle of water she stood rooted in, as though she wanted to summon the wherewithal to clock him but couldn’t due to shock. “Die,” Tessa stated, dull and monotone, spitting out more water dribbling down her face.
“As in, once you catch your breath and get past the shock, I’m going to?” Mick inquired sweetly, letting a subtle taunt grace his words.
Tessa gulped, then breathed in and out. “Bloody. Very bloody. Entrails and organs everywhere. Promise.”
Mick chucked her under the chin and winked. “Excellent, my fine she-warrior. I wait with the kind of girlish anticipation only organ-riddled battles can bring. Until we don our swords, got any more full sentences in you?”
Tessa let her cheeks puff outward. When she gazed up at him, her eyes were wild with an unspoken rage, which meant she was warming to the idea of killing him.
Yet her words were still stilted and eerily wooden. “McAllister Malone. No. Words.”
Mick pondered that momentarily. Tessa out of words? Nah. She was just catching her breath before she spewed a mouthful of rude name-calling. Or maybe her lack of lung power had something to do with the coughing fit that had wracked her body just moments ago.
Undoubtedly induced by smoke inhalation.
At this stage of the fiery hell he’d created, he should be gearing up to argue a Tessa rant—loud and proud while he chuckled to goad her on. He hated to admit it, but he got a kick out of arguing with his best friend’s sister.
They’d been doing it for over twenty-five years. But today . . . well, today, if—or better yet, when—she blew her top, he’d have to get on board with “Team Tessa.” He deserved every rude comment about his genitalia and his big doofy feet she could creatively put together. Until then, Mick just didn’t know what to do with her freakish composure.
“You think you can put a time frame on when exactly I should prepare for your big windup? I’d feel much better if I at least knew it was actually coming,” Mick goaded her through a thin veil of smoke. “This rational, verbally challenged Tessa is like an extra in Invasion of the Body Snatchers.”
Tessa spread her arms wide, making small black clouds appear from under her armpits. For a second or two, Mick thought she’d come out swinging, guns loaded. Her throat worked, taking in gulps of air, and her mouth opened with a squeak.
However, rather than let fly all those heinous pet names she’d given Mick over the years, she bit the tip of her fingernail. That meant she was trying to keep from crying. Tessa would rather die
than cry in front of him.
In what Mick knew was an effort of sheer will, Tessa managed to hold up her finger to indicate he should wait for it.
Mick winced, waiting.
She cleared her throat and smiled up at him. The phony smile she used when she was going to sink his battleship. “After this, I think I should be allowed an unlimited amount of time to build up my rage, Mick. I want to be sure it’s hot and fresh out of the kitchen when I finally let you have it. Until then, I have customers.” She tilted her head in the direction of the ladies who’d entered at the exact moment of his fiery impact.
The three stunned women who’d happened upon Tessa’s antiques store, Auntie Q’s—while on a road trip, if he’d overheard right—stood rooted to the floor, their mouths wide open with surprise on their soot-blackened faces. They’d remained silent until now.
But the pretty brunette with the singed wavy long hair who was dressed like a man in work boots, a red hoodie, and a sweatshirt that read I KNOW VIOLENCE ISN’T THE ANSWER. I GOT IT WRONG ON PURPOSE didn’t stay that way for long.
She slapped the arm of her jacket to put out a lingering flame. When she spoke, she, too, articulated with an eerie calm. “Goddamn it, Wanda. We can’t even go on an all-girls, no-damn-rug-rats flippin’ vacation anymore. Would you just look at this shit?” She swung around, her finger taking an accusatory position when she thrust it under a pretty blonde’s nose. “Marty? I blame you. I don’t know how many times I said I didn’t want to look for shit that has not just a fat-ass price tag but cobwebs, too, in stupid Vermont, while we sat by a roaring fire and drank hot chocolate with those mini-marshmallows I can’t even goddamned eat. We could have been snowboarding by moonlight, but nooo. Instead you have me picking through used crap from the Stone Age in a state that should have been named the Ice Age.”
The blonde shifted positions, taking a defensive stance that made her heeled brown boots with the still-smoking fur rub together. Her hair stood up on end as though she’d stuck her finger in a live socket, and her presumably once-white tie-waist jacket was what some would call well-done.
Yet she lifted her chin defiantly, her blue eyes blazing, the clink of her multiple gold bracelets making a racket as she shook her finger right back at her friend. “They’re antiques, heathen. If you had an ounce of culture in all that pissed off, you’d recognize their beauty.” She followed her statement up with an angry poke to the brunette’s shoulder.
The Accidental Dragon Page 1