by Nikki Chase
“Thank you, Miss… Um, Alice,” Ana says with a sweet smile.
I balance the two plates and walk through the doorway to enter a big dining room with a long table in the middle. Seth sits on one end, reading a newspaper, spreading it open with both hands.
“Morning, Seth,” I say.
“Morning,” he says, glancing at me. He frowns. “You’re not wearing a uniform.”
“Oh, am I supposed to?” I put one plate in front of him.
“Yeah. Alejandra should’ve told you.” He looks me up and down with his intense, penetrating gaze.
“Uh, I’ll ask her about it later today,” I say, his disapproval making me anxious.
“Make sure you do that.” He folds his newspaper, crumpling it loudly, and puts it down.
“Do you want me to place the other plate at the other end of the table?” I giggle nervously.
“What?” He furrows his eyebrows.
“Yeah, I’ve always wondered, when I see such a big table, like, what do you do when you only have a handful of people?”
He cocks his head slightly to the side and studies me.
Say something, damn it. This silence is making me uncomfortable.
“I mean, this is a breakfast for two, right? I’ve just always wondered if it’s better to go for symmetry, so you have one person at each end, or what?” I hear the words and feel the vibrations of my own vocal cords, but it’s like I’m looking at myself from the outside.
What am I even blabbering about? God, Seth must think I’m a weirdo.
“You can put it anywhere you want to sit,” he says in his confident, deep baritone.
“You mean…” I squint at him.
“I mean the other plate is for you. So you can sit wherever you want.”
“Oh! Okay.” I didn’t expect this. “Thank you,” I add.
“I personally don’t care about symmetry. If you do, you’re welcome to sit all the way down there.” He gestures at the other end of the table. “But I’d prefer having you closer.”
Heat spreads across my cheeks. Damn it, I bet my face is all red now. I hate my pale skin sometimes. I work so much I don’t get much time in the sun, despite living in sunny California.
“Sit here,” Seth says with authority. He pulls out a chair for me.
I do as he says. That was an order; not a request or an invitation. My stomach flutters.
There’s something about the way he looks at me. Those blue eyes seem like cool ponds on a hot day and I want to dive in. At the same time, I have no idea what lies beneath and it scares me a little.
“Did you sleep well?” He puts one hand on the back of my chair and leans closer.
“Yes, thanks for asking. You have a beautiful home.”
He shrugs, letting silence dominate the room once again.
This is the first time we’re sharing a meal together, the first time we have to talk to fill the silence.
Previously, all our interactions have been structured. I know exactly what to say as a chef greeting a diner. Having worked more than half my life, I also know exactly what to say during an interview.
Right now, he’s not just a diner at my restaurant or my employer. He’s someone I share a meal with.
There’s something intimate about the act of eating together. Taking sustenance is a deeply instinctive part of being human. It’s the first thing we learn to do when we’re born.
To do it with someone is to take part in a ritual that has existed for as long as humans have existed. You eat with the people of your own tribe. When warring tribes establish peace, it’s also celebrated with the sharing of food.
“This is really good,” Seth says, breaking the awkward silence.
“Thank you. I’m glad you like it.” I smile as I pick up the fork and start digging in. No matter how many times I hear it, it’s always nice to know that someone enjoys my cooking.
“This kind of bare-bones, simple dish suits you better,” Seth comments.
“Oh, you mean, like, compared to the menu at The Local?” I tilt my head. To my knowledge, Seth has only ever eaten my cooking at The Local.
“Yes. They do too much with their food there.”
“That’s how I’ve always felt, too.” I wonder why he kept coming back to The Local if he didn’t even like the food. I pop a piece of omelette into my mouth. I have to admit, I made a pretty mean omelette, if I may say so myself. “How would you know about what my cooking is like, apart from The Local’s menu, though?”
“Just something I read online,” Seth says.
“Oh, yeah, I remember getting interviewed by some food blogger. I’m surprised you’ve read that.”
“You got me. I’ve been stalking you,” Seth says flatly.
I don’t know if I should laugh at his joke or worry about actual stalking.
“I don’t blame you. I’d stalk someone too if I were about to pay them six figures to work for me,” I say.
The corners of Seth lips curl up. “So you wouldn’t mind me stalking you?”
“For six figures? Sure, be my guest.”
Seth laughs, making the skin around his eyes and mouth crinkle.
I don’t see him laugh often. He always looks so serious and intimidating. This is going to sound stupid, but it makes me feel special that he’d lower his guard enough to laugh with me.
Is he like this with other people? He always comes into the restaurant on his own, so there’s nobody for him to converse with. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen him interacting with many other people.
I wonder if he has this kind of effect on other people, too. He’s a distraction, is what he is. He takes up so much space in a room and he seems so enthralling, I can’t help but give him all of my attention. He has the kind of presence that makes it impossible for me to disregard him.
When I look up at Seth, he’s staring intensely at me, his blue eyes darkened with the kind of hunger that has nothing to do with food. A thrill runs down my spine.
His plate is empty. He picks up the cloth napkin and wipes his mouth. When he stands up, he towers over me. With him standing right by my chair, I can almost feel the heat emanating from his body.
He traps me with his gaze, and my eyes follow his movements. He reaches a hand toward me, and for a split second I wonder if he’s about to touch me.
My core clenches at the thought of his hand on the back of my skull, tilting my head so he can ravish my lips.
Instead, he just rests his hand on the back of my chair. His closeness is intoxicating. The moment feels like it stretches on forever, with our eyes locked on each other, but in reality it probably only lasts a few seconds.
“Thank you for the breakfast, Alice,” Seth says after a long, intense pause.
He turns around and walks away from the table, breaking the magic. I exhale, realizing I’d been holding in my breath.
Jesus, I need to keep it together.
This is work. I can’t be spending my time imagining the boss kissing me. I’ve learned firsthand how a workplace affair can turn the kitchen into fiery hell.
How will I get through my days here, if something as simple as a shared breakfast leaves me so agitated?
9
Alice
“Alice!” Emily shouts over the phone, making me wince from how loud it is.
“Hey, Em. Good to hear your voice again.” I lower the volume of the phone. This is unusual. Most of the time, we communicate over texts.
“Guess what? I have big news!”
“I figured. Something you can’t tell me over a text?” I have an inkling what the news could be, but I don’t really want to say it out loud.
“Yep. Come on, make a guess.”
“I’ve had a long day, Em. Could you please just tell me?” I lie. I haven’t had a long day, but if this news is what I think it is….
“Aw, you’re no fun, but okay.” She pauses for dramatic effect. “I’m pregnant!” She screams, forcing me to lower the volume again.
“Wow! C
ongratulations!” I exclaim, trying to hype myself up and show some excitement. “You and Cole must be so excited!”
“We are! We literally just found out, like, ten minutes ago. I had to tell you right away!”
“I’m so happy for you. You’re going to be such a good mom.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that…” Emily laughs. She sounds happy.
I had my reservations about Cole at first, but he makes Emily happy and that’s all that matters. This baby will only make them happier.
“How’s the new job?” Emily asks.
“Oh, it’s going well. You’re not going to believe how big this house is, seriously. It’s literally a mansion.”
“And the pay is really good as well, right?”
“Yeah. He’s paying me a lot more than The Local ever did.”
“What’s his name again? This is the same guy who used to come see you every week?”
“Seth. He didn’t ‘come see me’; he went for the food. He was a regular. ”
“Alice, I’m telling you, there’s nothing regular about the way he’s acting. He’s obviously into you,” she says with conviction.
“I don’t know, Em. I don’t even see him that much. In the week that I’ve worked here, I’ve shared one breakfast with him. The rest of the time, I have no idea where he is.”
“So you’re saying you want to spend more time with him.”
“Stop trying to analyze me,” I say. “He’s into my food. Maybe I’m just that good and you just don’t know it.”
“I don’t know, Alice. Sounds to me like he wants more than your cooking.” She giggles. “I told Cole about your situation with Seth, and he agrees with me. The guy is totally into you.”
“Hey, I never agreed to having Cole analyze my love life, either,” I protest.
“Okay, so that means you’re admitting that this Seth guy is part of your love life now?”
“That’s not what I said at all.” I can almost hear Emily and Cole exchanging looks in the short pause that follows.
“Sure, let me know what happens in a few weeks. I bet he’ll make a move,” Emily says. “Hey, you think you can visit me any time soon? I’m going to shop for baby clothes and a crib and stuff, and I really want to do it with my sister.”
“I don’t know, you did violate the sister-sister confidentiality privilege when you told Cole about Seth.”
Alice laughs. “Hey, if you have nothing to hide, you wouldn’t have minded. You never cared about me telling Cole about your work.”
“Yeah, okay, whatever.” I join her in laughter. “You know, I just started this job a minute ago, so I don’t know if it’s a good idea to leave now.”
“Yeah, I understand. It’s my turn to visit you anyway, but since you got rid of your apartment, I wouldn’t have anywhere to stay. And it would suck to have to fly back to Seattle with a crib and a big suitcase full of baby stuff. Can you imagine? It’s hard enough to travel without all those things.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Sorry, Em. Maybe in a couple months?”
“Sure. No biggie. I’m just…” Alice takes a deep breath. “I’m a little worried about you, you know? I told you it wasn’t a good idea to see Fred. How are you doing?”
“I’m fine. I’m actually doing really good,” I say. “Honestly, Em, I needed that conversation to really know for sure it’s a good move to finally break things off, once and for all.”
“I hope you’re right. It’s just, I’ve heard you say that before.”
“I know. But this time it’s for real, okay? I’m done with him.”
“Wanna tell me more about what happened at the coffee shop? I mean, you did tell me a little bit, but that was over text.”
“No, really. I’m done thinking about Fred, talking about Fred, overanalyzing Fred’s actions. I’m sick of all the drama and I don’t want to talk about him at all.”
“Good,” Emily says.
“Yeah, it’s kind of overdue.”
“Could this have something to do with Seth?” Emily’s voice drips with mischief.
“I’m rolling my eyes, but then I remembered you can’t see my face.”
“Okay, fine, I’m done teasing you. Hey, I have to go. Let me know when you can get away so we can shop for baby stuff, okay?”
“Will do,” I say before we say our goodbyes and hang up the phone.
I drag air into my constricted lungs. What is wrong with me?
I’m happy for Emily. Of course I am. She’s my sister. Whatever makes her happy, makes me happy. I’m happy she’s having a baby with her husband, who totally dotes on her.
It’s just hard for me to… I don’t know how to put this without coming across as an ugly person. But I kind of envy Emily.
I mean, there she is, with a kick-ass hotel executive job, a great husband, and a baby on the way. All the perfect little pieces of her perfect life are falling into place.
Meanwhile, I just ended things with my stupid waste-of-time ex; I just quit my job abruptly, potentially hurting my relationship with my previous employer; and I’m thirty-one now, so the eggs in my ovaries are probably rotting away at record speed.
They say some kind of a life crisis would hit at thirty. It didn’t come last year, but I think it’s finally here. I’m questioning all my life decisions.
My plans for the future seem crazy, even to myself. I don’t know if I’m being realistic at all.
Basically, I’m here for the money, hoping I’ll quickly have enough to start my own business, but entrepreneurship is risky, right? I read somewhere that only one out of ten businesses make it. Entrepreneurs are also often anxious, stressed out, and suicidal.
I have made a name for myself in certain circles. Foodies know my name and like my cooking. The restaurant industry is cut-throat, though, and I have no idea if I have what it takes to make it. There’s only one way to find out, and that is to try doing it, but it’s scary and uncertain.
What I’m trying to say is, I don’t know if, being in this position, I can see Emily face to face and genuinely be happy for her. I’m pulling my whole life apart, without knowing if I can put it back together again, when she’s basically cruising through life right now.
Sure, she has worked hard to get to where she is, but I have, too. And it kind of stings that I’m nowhere near where she is in life.
I put my palms over my face. I feel horrible that I would even have these thoughts about my own sister.
I wonder if she’s right, if Seth actually wants me in that way.
To be honest, that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. He’s gorgeous, wealthy, and there’s something about him that pulls me in.
At the same time, I don’t know if giving into that basic impulse would be the wisest decision I can make. No matter how hot Seth is, he’s still my boss. I’d be risking this job if I were to get romantically involved with him.
My stomach flutters when I remember the look he gave me at the dining table last week. That was the one and only meal we’ve shared so far.
Maybe I’m a bad dining companion, or maybe he’s just busy.
I haven’t seen him much, although I prepare every one of his meals and leave them in the kitchen with reheating instructions. Alejandra tells me that’s how he wants it because his working hours are irregular.
Personally, I don’t know what the point is of hiring a chef if he’s not even going to eat the food as soon as it’s ready. I mean, why not order take-outs instead?
But, I don’t know, maybe he has money to waste. I’ve never had that kind of budget for food, or for anything, really.
Or maybe there are just no takeouts in the area. I forget sometimes that we’re not in the city anymore.
I lie down on the queen-sized bed. It feels big and empty.
My old bed was a double. It has already been donated, along with all the other big furniture in my apartment. Seth’s people took care of all that for me. It’s nice to have people taking care of stuff like that. I
could really get used to this.
My mind keeps replaying that scene from the breakfast with Seth, reminding me of his smoldering eyes, sending tingles straight to the juncture of my legs.
I didn’t imagine that searing stare, did I? I’ve been spending the whole week wondering if the moment we shared was just wishful thinking on my part—not that it would be a good idea to get involved with my boss.
Well, good thing anything can happen in my imagination, with no consequences.
I move my hand down into my panties and find it already soaked with my arousal. I’m not surprised anymore. It’s the same at the end of every night. Just knowing that Seth is under the same roof and thinking about meeting him again gets my blood rushing.
I run my fingers over my folds, spreading my wetness. With my other hand, I slide off my shorts and panties, imagining it’s Seth’s big, masculine hands yanking them down my legs.
In my mind, he stares at me with those intense blue eyes, looking with amusement at my heavy breathing. I knead my tits and pinch my nipples, imagining it’s him using his hands and mouth on my body.
A small moan escapes my lips as my fingers circle my clit. I think about Seth stroking me, pressing his hard erection into my side to show me how much I’m turning him on.
When I push two fingers inside, they go in smoothly because I’m already so wet. It doesn’t take long for my muscles to start clenching around my fingers. Soon, I ride the wave of an orgasm, my fingers clutching onto the bedsheets.
My lips part, and I hear myself moan, “Oh, Seth.”
10
Seth
I wake up with a raging hard-on in my pants. I jerked myself off before going back to sleep, but even in my dream I was haunted by Alice's moans last night.
She called my name. Holy shit.
I’ve been avoiding Alice since that first breakfast.
She looked so sensual when she was eating. The way she licked her lips made my cock stir under the table. There was one moment when I almost grabbed her by the hair.
I wanted so much to steal a kiss from her, crush those full lips until they're wet and red and ready for my cock. I thought I saw the same want in her big blue eyes, but I didn't want to be rash. Everything was already complicated enough as it was.