Renascence: Death Dealers MC Book 5

by Alana Sapphire

  “State.”

  “We know anyone in there?”

  “I know a guy, Prez,” Booker answers Gage’s question. “I can go see him.”

  “Can we trust him?”

  “Yeah. He’s my brother.”

  “How come you never told us you have a brother in State?” Charger asks, turning to Booker.

  “It never came up.” He shrugs.

  “Okay,” Gage says. “Pay him a visit, see if he can tell us anything.”

  “Sure thing, Prez.”

  “I’ve got a contact in ATL I can call, see if he has info on the Vitallis,” Chopper offers.

  “Thanks, Pop. I hate to cut out, but Raven has an appointment with Einstein. Venom, talk to Emily again, see if she’s thought of anything since last night. Tek, keep digging. Send Crow a shot of that woman so he can look out for her, too. I doubt she’s still around here.” Gage turns back to me, eyes empathetic. “If we have nothing concrete by the time I get back, we’ll head to Atlanta. Just give us a couple hours, brother. I promise, when we find who’s responsible, he’s all yours to do your worst.”

  Oh, that motherfucker’s gonna wish he was never born. “Thanks, Prez.”

  “I’ll let E know what’s going on when I see him.”

  I’m the first to leave the table because I need to check on Em. She barely slept last night, tossing and turning. I felt so helpless, being right there and unable to do anything. As much as I love fucking her, sex is not a panacea. I was only joking with her last night to take her mind off the situation. Don’t get me wrong, if she wanted me I wouldn’t have turned her down, but I figured she needed more.

  More.

  A word I’ve been running from all my life. She wanted it and I gave it willingly, no reservations. Is it something I can sustain? Provide on a long-term basis? I have no idea. Right now, I can’t think about myself. Emily is all that matters.

  Without thinking, I open the bedroom door and step in. Emily is in the middle of changing and she squeals, grabbing a shirt and covering herself up.

  “Sorry, darlin’, it’s just me.” I quickly shut the door, making my way over and pulling her into my arms. She’s shaking. “Everything’s going to be okay, Em.”

  “How?”

  Stepping back, I cradle her face, forcing her to look up at me. “Do you trust me?”

  “Of course.”

  “Then trust and believe I will make it okay. What did I tell you last night? Back at the house?”

  “That you take care of what’s yours.”

  “And are you mine?”

  Her eyes close, head slowly bobbing. “Yes.” Her lids flutter open, tears clouding her precious green eyes. “I’m yours, Liam.”

  My chest tightens with an unfamiliar feeling. This is nothing like when she says the words while I’m inside her. This… this is as if my heart is beating for the first time, like I was dead and her words jumpstarted the cold, black, shriveled-up organ hidden behind my ribcage. It’s pumping blood through my body once again, and I feel revived.

  Fucking alive.

  My throat closes up, words refusing to pass my lips. What would I tell her? That I say things in the heat of the moment and can’t back them up? That I’m blurring the lines of our relationship but expect her to stick to the terms of our stupid arrangement? And it is stupid. How did I think I could be with a woman like Emily and not develop feelings for her, expect her to be happy with the status quo?

  I’m a motherfucking asshole of infinite proportions.

  “Get dressed. I’ll find you some breakfast.”

  She changes into jeans and another of my T-shirts, leaving the baggy garment untucked and hiding her curves. I lead her to the bar and over to where some of the old ladies are.

  “Hey, Emily,” Ellen says, waving her over. Her son is sitting on her lap, having eggs and toast. “Gage left. He took Charger and Rico with him. Booker is off somewhere,” she informs me with a dismissive wave of her hand.

  “Morning, ladies,” Emily mumbles, taking the stool next to Ellen.

  “I’m not a lady!” Mikey exclaims. All the women laugh, including Emily.

  “Of course not, my little man,” Ellen says. “Say hello to Emily.”

  “Hello, Emily!”

  “Hi there. What’s your name?”

  “Michael Hunter Raymond!”

  “Oh, that’s a cool name.” She leans in to stroke the boy’s cheek. “He looks so much like you, Ellen.”

  “So everyone tells me. I think he looks more like Eddie.”

  “Eddie?” Emily looks from Ellen to me and back.

  “Oh, his biological father. He died right before Mikey was born.”

  “My daddy’s in Heaven,” Mikey tells Emily. “But I have a new daddy now.”

  “Yes, Jon—Einstein,” Ellen clarifies, “is great with him.”

  Seeing that she’s more relaxed now, I head to the kitchen. As I walk away, I hear Ellen asking Emily to make Mikey’s cake for his fifth birthday. By the time I return, Mikey is gone and the women are huddled up, no doubt talking about one of us men. Emily beams up at me as I set the plate before her. The beauty of her smile leaves me frozen, wondering how this angel could think I deserve her.

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, darlin’. Do you want me to stay, or are you okay with the girls?”

  “I think I’m good.”

  “I’ll be over there if you need me.” I motion with a tilt of my head.

  “I always need you,” she says, her voice lowered.

  Those four words warm me to the soles of my feet. I take her chin between my fingers, dipping my head to drop a gentle kiss on her lips. “Don’t say shit like that, Emily. I just might believe it.”

  I join the men, sitting on the arm of the couch as I eat. My gaze keeps straying back to Emily. She’s the magnet to my steel, the Davidson to my Harley.

  I’m fucked.

  Well and truly fucked.

  “You talked to Emily yet?” Razor asks.

  “Nah. I don’t think she knows anything. Her ex is the only one she’s had problems with. After what we did to him, he’d be stupid to mess with her like this.”

  “So you don’t think it’s him anymore?”

  “I’m not ruling him out, but no.”

  “Fuck. Our women can’t catch a break, huh?”

  “And that’s exactly why we shouldn’t keep any around. It’s too dangerous, Razor.”

  “I hear ya. What are you going to do about her?” He lifts his chin in Emily’s direction.

  I stare at her, knowing the best thing I could do is cut her loose, but I don’t want to. I also don’t want it to come down to a situation where I’m forced to, in order to keep her safe. If anything happens to her, I’d never forgive myself.

  “I don’t know, Razor. I don’t know.”

  “What do you know, brother?”

  “I know her angels play nice with my demons.”

  Our eyes meet from across the room, and she excuses herself to come to me. Razor gives up his seat to her. I move to the floor, settling between her legs. Her fingers sift through my hair, nails gently scratching my scalp. I want to purr like a fucking cat, but I keep quiet, laying my head on her thigh instead.

  “You okay down there?” Emily asks, chuckling.

  I tilt my head back to look up at her, knowing if she weren’t going through hell, I’d be in heaven right now. She slides her palm down my cheek and to my neck, keeping me in place as she leans forward, softly pressing her lips to mine. Her hair brushes against my cheeks, the smell of her new coconut shampoo surrounding me.

  “You wouldn’t happen to have a toy box here, would you?” she whispers.

  My dick jumps. “No, but I’ll go and fucking get it if that’s what you want.”

  “That’s what I want.”

  I turn to face her, brows drawn together. “Are you sure? I don’t want—”

  “I’m sure, Liam. I’ve spent most of my life being scare
d and ashamed, allowing other people to dictate what I do and how I behave. Other than my family, you’re the only one who’s been supportive. You care about who I am on the inside, not only how I look. Because of you, I’m learning to love myself. So yes, I’m sure. I want you.”

  “Fuck, Emily. I… I don’t know what to say.”

  She smiles, thumb caressing my cheek. “Say you’ll hop on your bike and get that box.”

  “I’ll hop on my bike and get that box.”

  “Good boy.”

  I growl at her words, the role reversal making me hotter than I ever thought it would. If Emily wants me and my toys, that’s what she’ll get.

  “Be ready for when I get back, naughty girl.”

  “Like you said, I’m always ready for you.”

  “That you are, darlin’. Wait for me in my room.”

  Her phone rings and she pulls it from her pocket, giggling at the screen. “It’s my mom. Think she knows what we were talking about?”

  “I hope the fuck not.”

  She places the phone at her ear, laughing before she greets her mother. I bolt to my feet, making it to my house and back faster than I’ve ever made the journey before. Gage and Raven have returned, and they brought Einstein with them.

  “Everything okay?” I ask Raven, touching her belly.

  “They’re perfect,” she beams.

  “Know what they are?”

  “We’re gonna wait and be surprised.”

  “You want to be surprised,” Gage cuts in. “I already know they’re boys.”

  Raven rolls her blue eyes before facing her husband to placate him. “Of course, babe. A big hunk of manliness like you could only produce two strong, healthy boys.”

  “Fuckin’ right.”

  I walk away laughing, eager to be with Emily. Before I can even get to the corridor, Tek fills the entryway, eyes focused on me.

  He found something.

  Approaching Gage, he whispers something to him that makes him shout, “Chapel!” over the noise in the room.

  We quickly make our way there, taking our seats.

  “What did you find?” Prez asks the moment his ass hits the chair.

  “The link between us and Vitalli.”

  “Well?” I ask in irritation.

  Tek turns his computer around so the monitor faces me. The image on the screen solidifies my decision about Emily. It’s at this moment that I know I have to let her go. What happened to her is one hundred percent my fault.

  “Who’s that?” Razor asks.

  “The judge in Vitalli’s case. I think I should let Venom explain.”

  The man on the screen has aged since the last time I saw him, but there’s no doubt as to his identity.

  “Venom?” Prez turns to me. All my brothers’ eyes are on me. “Who is he?”

  “My father.”

  CHAPTER 18

  ***Emily***

  Liam’s been gone a long time. I’ve moved past the anticipation stage and am now just plain restless. I paced, played on my phone, then took a long shower. Where the hell is he? I turn the TV on, flipping through the channels, but nothing is appealing to me. My mind is set on one thing, and that man of mine seems to be getting off on making me wait.

  Man of mine.

  It has a nice ring to it, but is it true? Is he mine? Let’s examine the facts: I’ve been sleeping in his bed since the beginning. He told me he didn’t do sleepovers, yet night one, there I was. Next fact: he’s been taking care of me, and not just in the bedroom. I’ve barely spent a dime of my own money since we started seeing each other, no matter how much I protest. Third fact: all the emotional support he gives me. He doesn’t play on my insecurities to get what he wants. The very things I hate about myself are the ones he seems to love. He even encourages my baking, eating everything I put before him and telling me I could be a professional. Surely a man wouldn’t do that if he wasn’t interested in more than sex? Fact number four: he brought me here, introduced me to all his brothers, integrating me into his club, his family. Fact number five: he’s willing to do illegal, immoral things for me. I don’t even want to think about those things. Fact six, and most important: he said I belong to him, that I’m his and he takes care of what’s his. That’s not blurring lines, it’s erasing them. I thought it was weird how the women wore cuts proclaiming they were some man’s property, but I get it now. It’s not about being a possession but being possessed. Owned. It’s about handing over your trust, your heart, your body, your life, to a man who will protect them. I’ve never had that before, and I finally think I can.

  With Liam.

  A niggling voice in my head keeps chanting “he’s a murderer,” but there’s something comforting and a bit empowering about knowing someone cares so much for you that they’re willing to protect you at the highest level. The heart wants what the heart wants, and mine wants him. Every beat in my chest gets louder, drowning out my thoughts.

  Fuck it.

  I love him.

  I’m in love with Liam “Venom” Hughes.

  For years I was buried under the rubble of what was left of my life. Liam saw the potential beneath the broken doors and shattered windows, rebuilding me into what I am today—something better… stronger. He’s the reason my heart beats.

  As if he can hear it pounding for him, the door opens and he steps inside, box in hand.

  “You’re back!” I leap off the bed, but before I can go to him, his expression stops me. “What’s wrong?”

  “Sit, Emily,” he says as he sets the box by the foot of the bed.

  I watch him cautiously, not liking the tone of his voice. Whatever’s coming, I know I won’t like it. “You’re scaring me, Liam.”

  “Don’t be scared. I just want to explain what’s going on.”

  My heart drops to the bottom of my stomach. “You found him.”

  “We’re still piecing things together, but we know most of it.”

  “And?”

  “The woman who took the picture, she works for a man named Luigi Vitalli.”

  “I don’t know who that is.”

  “He’s the same guy from that night outside the fight.”

  “I remember him giving me a creepy look that night, but… why would he do this? I don’t even know him.”

  Liam sighs, dropping his head in his hands. “He did it to get to me.”

  “What? Why?”

  He turns to me, the pain in his eyes breaking my heart. “His son Luca is facing murder charges. My father is the judge on the case. We figure he thinks he can use me to get to my father. Hurting you gets to me.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “We’ll take care of him. Hopefully I can do that without having to deal with Mother and Father dearest.”

  The thought seems to cause him physical pain. Laying my palm on his cheek, I stroke it with my thumb.

  “What happened? With you and your parents?”

  “We didn’t get along, that’s all.”

  “Why?” I push, needing to know what hurts him so deeply.

  “My parents acted like they hated each other most of the time. As a kid, I thought they were staying together for me. At times, I even thought they regretted I was born. If I wasn’t around, they could separate and be done with each other.”

  “Liam….”

  “They would fight constantly about what to do with me. By the time I was in high school, it was unbearable. My mother wanted to send me to military school so she’d have more time with her socialite friends. My father wanted me to attend the fancy private school he went to.”

  I keep caressing his cheek, hoping it relaxes him enough to continue.

  “He wanted me to be a lawyer like him. When I told him I wanted to go into accounting, he said the only way he’d pay for college was if it was for law. That night, I started researching ways to finance it myself. The Army won, and I enlisted right after graduation. Left and haven’t looked back since.”

  “They never
tried to contact you?”

  “My mother sent me a letter once when I was in Afghanistan.” He lets out a chuckle, void of amusement. “To tell me how I was throwing my life away.”

  “I’m sorry, Liam. I wish I could make it better.”

  “I don’t need fixing, Emily. I still have some residual feelings toward them, I’ll admit, but I accepted my situation a long time ago. I’ll never have parents like yours, and I’m good with that.”

  “You have me,” I offer, voice high-pitched with hope. “I may not be much but—”

  “You’re everything, Emily. You’re the fucking moon and the stars, and I don’t deserve you.”

  “I think I’m the one who should be saying that.”

  “You keep selling yourself short. Any man would be lucky to have you. Never let anyone make you feel less than you are. Not James, and especially not me.”

  “Liam.” I move to my knees, straddling his lap and cradling his face in my hands. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and that’s not me selling myself short. If I was good before, you’ve made me better. I love who I am when I’m with you.”

  “Emily….”

  His eyes are conflicted, opposite emotions battling inside him. I want to make him feel better and there’s only one way I know how.

  “Make love to me, Liam. I need you.”

  Grabbing my ass, he shifts so I’m lying on the bed with my legs around his hips.

  “You should forget about me, Emily. I’m no good for you.”

  “Because of one little picture? Kiss me, Liam.”

  “You’ll get hurt.”

  “I won’t.”

  I pull his head down, pressing my lips to his. He groans, hips pushing me into the bed.

  “Fuck, Em. I’ve never wanted another woman as much as I want you.”

  “Then show me,” I reply, breathless from his lips trailing down my neck.

  He reaches under the T-shirt I’m wearing, gently tugging my panties off. After tossing them aside, he removes his cut, then reaches behind him to pull his T-shirt off. My tongue slides over my bottom lip, eyes feasting on his naked, tatted chest. I sit up, hands on his sides as I drop kisses on his stomach, licking the peaks and valleys of his abs, and the V on his hips. His fingers tangle in my hair, guiding me lower. Eyes locked with his, I quickly undo his belt, button, and zipper, freeing his dick and taking him in my mouth. This is the first time he’s allowed me any kind of control and I intend to make use of it. With each lick, he grows harder and harder. Gripping him in a tight fist, I stroke him up and down, in sync with my mouth. He moans above me and I echo the sound, the vibrations making him pull on my hair. Using my free hand, I cup his balls, sliding my palm over them.