“We’ll see.” She flashed him another saucy smile. “Farewell.”
The bell on the door jingled, and just that fast, a second woman walked out of his life.
Leah wrapped the last loaf of bread in a clean towel that Rachel had loaned her and put it into the basket, also borrowed.
“This is a kind thing you’re doing.” Rachel smiled at her from the other side of the worktable.
“I feel like I ought to be doing more, but I don’t want to give Dan false hopes. I’ve spent a lot of time in prayer the past few days and feel that God wants me to help them by providing bread and some cookies or maybe a pie, now and then.”
“I’d be happy to send some things along from time to time. I can’t imagine how Dan is cooking for five small children.”
Leah winced again at being reminded of Dan’s hardship, but she was doing as much as she could. “I’ll just run these over, and then I want to get back and help Shannon finish up her dress.”
Rachel leaned against the door frame. “I still can’t believe she’s getting married to Rand. I thought for sure that she was in love with Mark.”
“I think she is, but since he made it clear he doesn’t want her, she’s moved on. I think she’s doing the wise thing. I can’t imagine her married to a Corbett.”
Rachel pressed her lips together. “They aren’t as bad as they may seem. They may be teasers, but both are actually honorable men.”
Leah snorted a laugh. “Tell that to someone who didn’t have her whole life changed by them.”
“It hasn’t all been bad, has it?”
She stared up at the decorative ceiling and realized Rachel spoke the truth. “No, it hasn’t. I’ve made a number of friends here and fallen in love with a wonderful man.”
Rachel pushed away from the door and crossed the room. “Won’t you reconsider? Dan needs you now more than ever before. I truly believe you’d be happy with him and the children.”
Shaking her head, Leah grabbed the basket off the table and placed the handle on her arm. “I can’t. I promised myself I’d never get in that situation again.”
“Well, you’ll bless them with your kindness and this food. I’ll see you later.”
Leah nodded and hurried down the hall before Rachel decided to give her another talk about marrying Dan. If only she could do that. Her heart ached. She missed him dearly. Maybe she’d catch a glimpse of him working at the livery when she delivered the food.
Her feet quickly ate up the short distance to Dan’s home, and she noticed the differences immediately. Clothing of all sizes was laid out on the porch railings to dry in the September sun. A wagon, ball, and discarded doll littered the yard. She almost dreaded seeing the inside, but she climbed the steps and knocked on the door.
The middle girl—Ruthie, wasn’t it?—opened the door. She stared up at Leah with big brown eyes. “I know you.”
Leah smiled. “I met you the day you arrived. I’m Leah, and I’ve brought you some snacks and bread.”
“What kind of snacks?”
“Oh, sugar cookies and some apple bread.”
The girl straightened and licked her lips. “Can I have some now?”
“Well, maybe we should ask Callie first. Or your uncle. Is he here?”
Ruthie shook her head, her untidy braids flying back and forth. Dirt smudged one side of her face and around her mouth, and her hands were filthy. “Uncle Dan isn’t here. Him and Ben’s working.”
Little Davy toddled to the door and stared up at her. Tears still dampened his lashes and clung to his eyes. He reached up his hands to her. “Hold’ju.”
Leah felt a crack form in the wall she’d erected around herself. She cleared her throat. “How about a cookie. Would you like that?”
“Tookie!” The boy clapped his hands and disappeared into the house. Leah longed to shove the basket into Ruthie’s hands and flee back to the safety of the boardinghouse, but the load was too heavy for the child, and she needed to return Rachel’s towels and basket. She swallowed hard. “May I come inside for a moment?”
“Shut that door, Ruthie. You’re lettin’ in flies.” Leah couldn’t see Callie but recognized her voice. “And don’t you dare let Davy out again, you hear?”
Leah cringed. Callie was just a small version of what she’d been like. She’d had to take care of her siblings as far back as she could remember. Her heart ached for the little girl who’d have to grow up far too soon and would probably never get to be a playful, young girl again. Why, if she had to care for her siblings all the time, she wouldn’t even be able to attend school.
Footsteps pounded on the floor, and Callie appeared in the doorway. “What are you doing here?”
Leah winced inwardly at the animosity in the girl’s voice. “I brought some fresh bread for you and some cookies.”
She longingly eyed the basket, but her glare quickly refocused on Leah. “We don’t need your handouts. I can make bread.”
“So you already have all you need?”
“Nuh-uh. We don’t got no bread. You told a lie. I’m gonna tell Ma.” Ruthie’s scolding expression suddenly changed, and she frowned, her lips quivering. “I’m…uh…gonna tell Uncle Dan.”
Callie glared at her sister. “I didn’t say we had any, just that I could make it.”
Leah wasn’t taken in by her false bravado. “Well, since I have all this bread, I’d hate to see it go to waste.” She strode in and her heart nearly broke. Clara Howard’s tidy home was a complete mess. Crates of clothes, toys, and other items were stacked along the empty spaces of the parlor. Two small chests of drawers lined the wall of the crowded dining room. Everything from sticks and rocks the boys must have dragged in to clothing and diapers covered the furniture and made walking difficult. Davy picked up a stick and whacked the door frame. Leah smiled, hoping to distract him. “Come, time for a cookie.”
When he toddled past her, she took the stick from him and laid it out of his reach on top of one of the dressers and carefully made her way to the kitchen, where dirty dishes covered the table and countertops. She stacked several soiled plates to make room for the basket.
A woman was definitely needed here. The workload was far too much for an eight-year-old. Leah tried to ignore the guilt assaulting her. Was she being completely unreasonable? Dan needed her, and so did these children.
But how could she jump right back into the situation she’d so recently fled?
Ruthie climbed up on a chair, and Davy attempted to do the same. Leah picked him up and sat him in the chair next to his sister. “Before you eat, we need to clean those hands. Callie, could I please borrow a washcloth?”
“Suit yourself, but I’m not washing any dishes they dirty.”
“Why not?” Leah asked as she searched for a clean cloth.
Callie shrugged. “I got too much to do watching these young’uns to do dishes. Uncle Dan does them at night.”
Leah’s heart took another blow. Poor Dan. Working all day, tending these orphans, and then most likely having to fix dinner and wash dishes afterward. At least she could help with this one chore. After washing off the children’s hands, she rolled up her sleeves and filled the bucket. The children were done with their snack and playing in the parlor when she finished. She tidied up the kitchen, putting containers back on shelves, and then she swept the floor. Her heart felt good knowing Dan wouldn’t come home to such a mess.
She rummaged around for something to cook, but when she didn’t find any meat, she decided to make a pot of potato soup. It would taste good with the bread she’d baked. She checked on the children and found Davy asleep on the floor. Poor little thing. Callie sat on the settee looking at a picture book with Ruthie, whose eyes were nearly closed. Leah picked up Davy, receiving a scowl from Callie, then took the boy into Dan’s room and laid him in the middle of the bed. She brushed his hair from his forehead and smiled. He was a comely child.
Not having heard a peep from the baby the whole time she was there, she tipto
ed into the bedroom that had been Clara’s. Her heart jumped. Not a thing had been done in here. Clara’s clothes still hung from the pegs, and her brush and comb rested on a small vanity. Her shoes stuck out from under the bed, where Maggie slept with her thumb hanging just out of her mouth. Her lashes were spiked as if she’d been crying, and the girl’s tongue moved as if she were nursing. For the first time, Leah realized that the baby probably still had been nursing when her mother died. “Oh, you poor thing.”
What was Dan going through trying to comfort five young children who missed their parents and had their whole world yanked out from under them? She hung her head. How selfish she’d been. Tears coursed down her cheeks, and she broke into sobs. “Forgive me, Lord,” she whispered. “I’ve been so selfish.”
She stared up at the ceiling, fortifying herself for the tasks at hand. God would give her the strength to do His will; she understood that now.
Quietly, she gathered up Clara’s dresses and shoes and carried them into the parlor, where she placed them in an empty crate.
“What are you doing?” Callie stared, her mouth twisted to one side and her brown eyes sparking. Ruthie had slumped over and was asleep. “We don’t need your help.”
Leah realized she needed to mend some bridges, so she sat beside the girl. “I need to apologize to you. I…uh…wasn’t prepared for Dan to bring you kids home with him. It was a surprise. A very big surprise.”
“It was a surprise to us, too. I wanted to live with my aunt.” Callie crossed her arms and stared across the room.
“I’m so sorry, Callie.” Leah cupped the girl’s cheek. “I can’t imagine how hard it must be to lose your parents.”
The child teared up, and she swiped her hand across her eyes. “I miss them.”
Leah pulled Callie into her arms, surprised she didn’t try to get away. Instead, she curled against Leah and sobbed. Tears pooled in Leah’s eyes as she realized how much this tough little girl needed her, and she cried with her for the pain she’d caused the children. And for Dan. She’d let her own pain get in the way of helping others who desperately needed her.
Leah sat for a long while, praying and caressing Callie. Finally, the child quieted and pulled away. Her face was splotchy, her nose ran, and she looked a tad embarrassed.
“Sorry.”
Shaking her head, Leah ran her hand down the side of Callie’s face. “Don’t be, sweetie. I’m the one who needs to apologize.”
“You just did.” Callie offered the tiniest of smiles.
“I guess I did, but now comes the hard part. I need to go have a talk with Dan.”
“Are you going to marry him?”
She nodded. “If he’ll have me.”
Callie grinned wide. “He will. I think he misses you.”
“Well”—Leah stood—“we shall see.”
A few minutes later, she paused outside the rear door of the livery, shaking like a wood shack in the midst of a tornado. But her storm had passed, and she truly believed good things lay ahead—if only Dan would forgive her.
Dust motes floated through shafts of sunlight, almost looking like snow. She couldn’t see Dan but heard a clanging coming from the front of the building. A tall, brown horse in a stall nickered at her as she passed by. Leah’s heart pounded as if she’d just run a long race. In a way she had, but it had been a mental marathon—a test of the mind and heart. She couldn’t help grinning as her love for Dan overflowed.
But then she stopped as doubts attacked. What if he couldn’t forgive her shamelessness? What if his feelings had changed?
For a second, she wavered. Almost tucked tail and ran.
But then she heard the deep rumble of Dan’s voice—and it pulled her toward him. She stepped out of the shadows in the back of the livery and walked to the front, where the open doors allowed the sun to shine in and illuminate the area. Dan pounded on a loose board and said something to Ben, who stood beside him. The boy noticed her first and stared with wide eyes. Dan straightened and slowly turned. His lips parted when her saw her, and his eyes sparked before he schooled his expression.
She could hardly blame him after the way she’d left him in a lurch. Her hands wouldn’t be still, so she tucked them behind her. “I brought some cookies over to the house. Do you suppose Ben could take a break and go have a snack?”
“Can I, Uncle Dan?”
He nodded, and the boy shot for home like his feet were on fire. Dan laid his hammer down and closed the distance between them. His beard was growing in, giving him a more rugged look than normal. Had he not had the time to even shave the past few days?
He shifted his feet and seemed to have as hard a time being still as she. “What do you need, Leah?”
She closed her eyes, loving the timbre of his voice. So manly. So strong. Just like him. “I’m sorry, Dan.”
When she gazed back up, she saw the confusion in his eyes, and maybe even a spark of hope.
“Sorry about what?” He wasn’t going to make this easy.
“You know. For being pigheaded and selfish as a goat.”
His lips twitched, and he cocked his head.
“What?”
“You’re the prettiest goat I’ve even seen.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I’m really sorry. I let my fears keep me from the man I love and from helping those poor children.” She ducked her head. “I was so selfish.”
His forefinger lifted her chin, and he thumbed the tears away. “I’m sorry, too. For not giving you more warning. I should have telegraphed you and prepared you.” He broke from her gaze and sighed. “I figured you wouldn’t want me with all those kids as part of the deal.”
“Oh, Dan. I do. I want you with all of my heart. The children, too.”
His dark eyes came alive with passion, and he tugged her to him. “Are you sure? It won’t be easy for you.”
She placed her hand on his chest, feeling the fervent pounding of his heart. “I’m positive. I want to be your wife and the mother—or aunt—to the children. I’m already falling in love with them.”
“And what about me?”
She thought to tease him, but he’d been through enough already, and she chose to be merciful. “I have loved you for a while now.”
“Is that so?” He grinned wide, setting her heart soaring. “Yes, it is, Mr. Howard.”
“Then I reckon we need to get married. Could you be ready by a week from this Sunday?”
She toyed with a loose button on his shirt. “No.”
His eyes dimmed a bit. “How long, then? I want to be with you, Leah.”
“I was hoping for tomorrow, after Rand and Shannon’s wedding Sunday afternoon.”
He let out a whoop that made one of the horses whinny and grabbed her up, spinning her in a circle. His lips collided with hers, melding their breath and sending her senses in a tizzy. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she felt loved.
Safe.
Home.
This was where she belonged. Right here in Dan’s arms.
CHAPTER 30
Mark leaned forward on the wagon seat, his head in his hands. The harnesses jingled, and the wagon creaked and groaned and rocked on the rutted road. Though this one had only been a day trip, it seemed to have taken forever. He wanted to be home, yet he dreaded returning to Lookout. He wished he didn’t have to return until after Shannon was married. He would definitely skip church tomorrow because he couldn’t stand watching the wedding ceremony scheduled for right after the service. It would gut him to the core.
Why was he so miserable? He was the one who’d told Shannon he couldn’t marry her. Was he making the wrong decision?
Garrett shoved his arm. “All right, out with it. You’ve been miserable this whole trip, so what is it that’s got you more frazzled than a steer tangled in barbed wire?”
Where did he begin? Everything in his life was jumbled up. “There’s too much to talk about it.”
Garrett guided the horses around a sharp curve that signaled o
nly a few miles left before they’d be home. “Just pick a spot and start there.”
Mark breathed in a strengthening breath through his nose and sat up. “I’ve decided to become a lawyer, so I’ll be quitting the freight business.”
His brother’s blond brows lifted. “I wondered if you’d ever get around to doing that.”
“You mean you’re not surprised? Not upset with me?”
“You’ve been reading those law books for years. What’s the point of that if you don’t plan on becoming a lawyer one day—and then you apprenticed with that lawyer in Abilene, but things didn’t seem to go well there, so I’ve never brought it up.”
Mark winced, but he realized the time had come to tell his brother the truth. “Things didn’t go well there, but that had nothing to do with working for Mr. Conrad.”
“No?” Garrett stared at him, curiosity etched on his face.
He shook his head. “Nope. It centered around a pretty saloon gal.”
“I don’t believe that for an instant. I’ve never seen you go into the saloon.”
“What can I say?” He shrugged. “I got curious, and it was the biggest mistake of my life.”
Garrett slung his arm around Mark’s shoulders. Mark fought back the tears that stung his eyes. He loved his brother and knew Garrett loved him, but they rarely showed their affection other than teasing one another. He cleared his throat, dreading to see his brother’s face. “I killed a man.”
Garrett stiffened for a moment but quickly relaxed. “I’m sure you had a good reason for doing such a thing.”
“I didn’t mean to kill that cowboy. He was roughhousing the woman I thought I was in love with. I told him to stop, and he just shoved Annabelle away and pulled his gun.” Mark lifted his hat and ran a shaky hand through his hair. “I just reacted. I pulled my gun and fired back. I didn’t even think I’d hit him, much less killed him. It was just a gut reaction.”
“Why were you wearing a gun? You don’t normally.”
“I don’t know. Pretty much everyone in Abilene wore one, so I guess I had to. Just to fit in.”
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