“You wouldn’t have bothered me.” Okay, maybe he would have, just a little, but she’d have felt better instead of carrying through her day with the gut wrenching anxiety that had pushed her to the edge of sanity.
“So talk to me about your drop. What do you need?”
All submissives or bottoms were different in their needs. Right now, hers were simple.
“Hold me?” she asked.
“Of course.”
He gathered her to his chest, pulling her over to lay partially on him with his arms wrapped around her. She took a deep breath and blew it out. There was an undeniable sense of rightness when she was with him, when he held her. As if this was how it should be.
The stark truth stood out in her mind. She’d loved him ten years ago, and she’d never stopped. Sure, she’d tried to move on, but for her, there was no one else. It was a scary thought. She buried her face in his chest while it sunk in. Did she let him walk away from her again? Or did she demand what she’d never asked him for? A commitment.
Her misguided fears about falling in love in her youth were just that. Mistakes. She’d been so caught up in trying to prove herself, in wanting to fulfill the image she had in her head of what her life should be like, that she’d pushed Kit away. In her attempts to prove to the guys that she was just as good as they were, she’d handicapped herself by forbidding the love they so obviously felt for each other. In truth, she’d become afraid of him, afraid of what they were to each other. She’d let it all cut her off at the knees, so it shouldn’t have shocked her when he left since all she’d given him were the table scraps of her life. He deserved more. He deserved better. And she could be that.
Kit ran his fingers through her hair. She felt safe and secure in his arms. It was the same way she’d felt when they were younger. It wasn’t like she’d suddenly sprouted kinky desires, but he’d encouraged her to tell him what she wanted, how he could please her better. God, she’d been so embarrassed the first time she suggested he bind her hands with his belt. Strange that such a simple request had shaped both of their lives. BDSM was part of who they were, and as much as she was jealous of the other women he’d played with, she was also glad he hadn’t given it up.
“Penny for your thoughts?” he said, echoing her earlier question.
“I was actually thinking about that night my parents were out of town and I asked you to tie me up.” She chuckled, all that awkwardness and fear ripe in her mind. Strange, she felt much the same now with him, but for a whole new reason.
“Oh God.” Kit covered his face for a second. “I’m pretty sure I almost blew my load the second you asked.”
“You looked a little green. I thought you might run away.”
“Uh, you were only wearing panties. You couldn’t have forced me out of that room. No, I was pretty damn turned on. But why not?” He grabbed her wrist and held her right arm above her head. “See? Tying your hands above your head does this really fun thing with your boobs. I’m still into it.”
“Like this?” She grasped the headboard spindles with both hands, grinning like a fool.
Kit’s gaze was so hot, it felt like a physical stroke from her cheek to her waist. He propped himself up at her side and palmed her breast.
“Oh yeah,” he replied. “In fact…here. Let’s get rid of this.”
He pushed her shirt up over her breasts. She laughed and sat up enough to wiggle it off. He took the opportunity to release the catch on her bra and when her hands were free, he tossed it over the edge of the bed, leaving her in yoga pants.
She stretched out and grasped the spindles. Kit leaned over her, licking one breast then the other. She sucked in a deep breath and let her eyes close, enjoying the attention he lavished on her.
“I haven’t paid these ladies enough attention,” he said as he pushed them together.
He ran his thumbs over the peaks and traced the outline of the hearts.
“Who did these?” he asked.
“Huh? The piercings or the tattoos?” It was becoming hard to talk, hard to focus on words. For some reason he did that to her, reduced her to sensation and feeling only.
“The tattoos. Did Shep do them?” There was an edge to his voice. Was that…jealousy?
She lifted her head and peered at him. “No, I did those before I stopped tattooing.”
“You did these to yourself?” He gently twisted the barbells and she arched her back as sensation pinged through her body, ending up at her clit.
“Yes, okay? Shep’s only done my back and a few cover-ups on my legs.”
“Good.”
What the hell had gotten into Kit? Besides, Shep had a girlfriend Renee liked, and she was not a homewrecker.
Kit bent his head and took her right breast into his mouth, rubbing his tongue over the nipple. She gasped and closed her eyes again, surrendering herself to the sweet torment he poured on her. He settled between her thighs and rocked into her as he licked and sucked her breasts. She gripped the headboard so hard the right edges felt as if they were cutting into her palms. He stoked the flames of her desire higher and higher. He’d always been an attentive lover, but they weren’t fumbling kids anymore. She didn’t have to tell him what made her feel good because he knew how to read her, and she could sense his gaze on her from time to time.
He rubbed his beard over her breasts and she gritted her teeth as the abrasive hairs scratched and abraded her flesh. She’d never thought of a beard as another toy before, but damn, she hoped he never shaved.
Kit levered up on his elbows. She missed the press of his weight immediately and opened her eyes to see what he would do next.
His lips were damp and he stared at her as if he were a predatory animal and she his next meal.
“I can’t help but want you,” he said.
“The feeling is mutual.” She hooked her leg over his hip and flexed, bringing him closer. He might not love her, but he wanted her. She could work with that.
“I’m supposed to be giving you the aftercare you should have gotten earlier.”
“Sex can be aftercare.”
He leaned forward and buzzed her mouth with a kiss.
“I don’t think that was the original intent.”
“I always intend to have sex with you.”
His heavily hooded gaze grew more intense. “Really? Even when we were eating burgers at your table?”
“Oh yes, especially then. I hadn’t seen you in forever, and I won’t deny I thought about what it would be like now.”
“What is it like now?” he asked.
It was dangerous to answer, but she couldn’t stop herself. “Amazing. Better. You’re confident now. I mean, what we did before, it was good, but I liked it best when…when…”
“When you didn’t have to reassure a kid he was doing it right?”
“I wouldn’t call you a kid.”
“I was twenty. I was a fucking kid.”
He’d been twenty when he left her. Two years of friendship turned them into lovers who knew no boundaries. They’d tried some pretty crazy stuff in and out of bed. A lot of it she’d never allowed another person to do to her.
“Kit, I want you. Please?”
“Babe, you never have to ask.” He pushed up and tossed his shirt off.
“There’s nipple clamps in the side pocket of my bag. Would you use them?”
His gaze flashed with even more heat. “Oh, hell yeah.”
Kit bent and kissed her, rubbing his palm up and down across her nipple, robbing her of her breath. He was gone in a second. He stood next to the bed, his gaze on her while he shoved his jeans to the floor and kicked off his boots.
She sat up and hooked her thumbs in the waistband of her yoga pants and panties.
“Don’t,” Kit barked.
Renee froze.
“I’ll do that. Lay down. Now. Hands up.”
This wasn’t play, but she felt compelled to obey him completely. The power exchange between them wasn’t a choice for her; i
t was compulsory. She had to do it. Not because he expected it, but because she wanted to.
She stretched out and watched as he removed his underwear and stood next to the bed completely nude. She’d have to sketch him again like this. He might not be the picture perfect Adonis, but to her he was beautiful. He was everything she’d wanted.
Kit turned and knelt at her bag, drawing out the chain that attached two clamps together. He brought them back to the bed and sat on the edge while he fiddled with the tension knobs until he was satisfied.
She held her breath as he reached for her. He grasped her nipple and attached the clamp to her right breast. She gasped and shifted, but he pressed his palm to her chest, stilling her motions while he held her other nipple for the clamp. The second was worse. She squeezed her eyes shut as her body tensed, adjusting to the feel of the pinch. After a moment it abated, settling into a dull throb.
“How’s that?” Kit lifted the chain attached to both clamps.
“Fuck,” she muttered and gripped the headboard tighter.
“Hey, you said you wanted these.”
“I do,” she said on a moan.
“How do these feel?” He tapped the end of a barbell.
She gasped as she felt it in her clit while her breast throbbed.
“Renee?”
“Good. Fine. Great.”
She blew out a breath. Fuck, no one had ever paid attention to her nipple rings once the clamps were on. That was a whole new sensation. She was vaguely aware that Kit stood. Her body pulsed, as if she’d become one, huge nerve ending set to lust.
After a moment, Kit returned, kneeling on the bed next to her. He wrapped rope around her wrists, binding them together. She peered up at him, curious.
“I thought this would be better than a belt.” He glanced down at her and grinned, but it was more like a baring of teeth. They were horny. It was amazing they hadn’t just fucked already, but Kit possessed a lot more self-control now, where she probably had less. “There. Pull.”
She tugged against the headboard, but the ropes didn’t give way. Just as they hadn’t the night before.
“Good?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
He nudged her thighs and she spread them willingly. Instead of climbing between her legs, he cupped her mound and pressed his fingers into her. He groaned as he dipped a finger into her and drew it up over her clit, bathing it in her arousal.
“Fuck, you’re wet.”
“Yeah. It happens when I’m with you.”
He muttered something she couldn’t understand and knelt between her calves, his gaze locked on the apex of her thighs. She didn’t know if she could handle this, if she could hold out, but she’d try. He stretched out, guiding her legs over his shoulders while he continued to study her sex.
“What’s this scar from?” He touched the tender skin over her clit.
“I had a hood piercing.”
“And you took it out?”
“It got in the way and it didn’t really do anything for me.”
“Damn. I’d have liked to see that.”
She was about to reply when he spread her labia and speared her pussy with his tongue. Whatever words she’d been about to say fled as she gasped and stared at the ceiling. He thrust in and out, but left her clit untouched. She moved her hips against him, or tried to. He held her hips down with his forearm.
Warmth pooled low in her belly. She rubbed her feet on the mattress and clung to the rope binding her to the headboard.
He thrust his fingers into her and pumped while he kissed her inner thigh. She groaned as he curled them deep within her, rubbing her inner walls. He withdrew them and pressed them into her anus. She gasped and tried to make herself relax as he gently prodded her, easing past the tight ring of muscle. Heat radiated through her body.
Kit had taken her anal virginity. It was one thing she’d never allowed any other man to do.
He eased his fingers in and out, eased by the moisture of her arousal. She closed her eyes and lifted her hips just a bit, allowing him a better angle. He licked her clit and her spine arched. The chain rolled up between her breasts. It was too much. Her body shuddered, going limp as she climaxed in a quick, mind-numbing rush.
“Damn, if I’d realized you’d come that fast I’d have gone slower.” He kissed her mound as he eased his fingers from her.
She sucked in deep breaths. There was no warm, relaxed, post-orgasm fog. Her body was still tight with arousal. If anything, she was only further primed.
The sound of running water penetrated the haze of her lust. She could see him at the sink, washing his hands, but her gaze focused on his ass. It was so round and…bite-able. She’d have to remember that for when she got lose.
He turned toward her and she stopped breathing. She watched as he prowled toward her. There was no other word for it. He was on the hunt, and she was what he intended to devour.
Kit paused by his bag for a condom. What would it be like to go bareback with him? When they were younger it had happened a time or two because they were just so horny they forgot. She couldn’t remember how it had been different, but the connection had stayed with her. The feeling of being entirely joined.
He rolled the latex on and crawled up the bed, between her legs.
She wished she could discern the way he stared at her. What it meant. Could he love her again? Or was this reliving the same sexual attraction they’d felt before? It was better now, but was it the same for him?
Kit positioned his cock at her entrance and pressed forward, joining their bodies. He tossed his head back, staring deep into her eyes as he slid deeper and deeper. She breathed in time with him, the sensations intensified as if she felt everything he felt as well.
He grabbed the chain between her breasts and lifted. She cried out as he thrust, seeing pinpricks of light behind her lids His hand clamped down over her mouth and he kissed her cheek, chuckling.
“Shh, we don’t want to get kicked out.”
To hell with getting kicked out. So long as she came with him inside her she didn’t care what happened.
He began to thrust, easy, long strokes. His chest rubbed the clamps, bringing a new edge of pleasure-inducing pain to their lovemaking. She stared deep into his eyes, unable to look anywhere else. With each thrust, they seemed to grow closer to a point. A crossroads.
She loved him.
She wanted to be with him.
But did he want her the same way?
He desired her body, but what about her?
Kit angled her hips and thrust harder. The bed rocked under them and the headboard hit the wall with a dull thud. He kept the hand over her mouth, muffling her helpless moans. She wrapped her legs around his waist, moving with him as his control seemed to slip its leash. He pounded into her, but it was his gaze that did her in, reaching into her soul, touching that part of her she’d never given him before. Her heart.
She came in a rush of sensation, screaming it into his palm, fighting to keep her eyes open so she could see him, show him through her eyes just where she was. His cheeks drew in and his thrusts became jerky, rough and hard. He shoved deep and threw his head back, but never broke their gaze as he growled his own release.
Only when their bodies finished rippling, did he release his hold on her mouth and replace it with his lips as he kissed her.
God, she loved this man. She loved him enough to tattoo again, if that’s what it took.
* * * *
Kit scrawled his name across the bottom line, both excited and terrified. This could work. It would be a good thing. Wouldn’t it?
“Here you are Mr. Carson.” The clerk handed over the deed to the building that had once housed Lucky Tiger Tattoo.
“Thanks.” He took the document that now named him as the sole owner and unfolded it.
It had to be a sign. Yesterday, he’d checked online to see what the old shop was going for, and found out that it was up for auction that afternoon.
He’d been able to phone in his bid, but his cell had died before bidding ended. He hadn’t found out he’d won until this morning when he listened to all of his messages.
A wire transfer, a signature and the building was his. It was surreal.
Oddly, it was Mick who was proving to be the most helpful. He knew just about everyone, including a couple of inspectors who were going to meet him in an hour to go over what repairs needed to be made before he could really put the shop together.
He folded the document back up, pocketed the keys and made his way back to his Jeep.
When he was younger, he and Renee had talked about the dream to each own a shop. They’d joked about buying shops across from each other and competing for business. He’d always thought it would be better working together, but she’d never have gone for it back then. She still might not be thrilled about his choice now, but maybe she’d come around.
Kit grabbed his cell phone and dialed the first number on his call log.
“Well, how’d it go?” Mick said on the other end of the line.
“I got it.” He couldn’t believe it, but when he had to start paying for things, it would get a lot more real.
“Congratulations. You called those guys?”
“Yeah, two of them are going to meet me in about an hour at the shop. I’m going to grab some food and head over there now to look around.”
“Renee was here a little bit ago. Did you tell her yet?”
“I thought we were having dinner with you.” Had Kit not remembered it correctly?
“Oh, no, we’re still on for dinner. I just had a list I wanted her to run by an old friend. I had some ideas for the case. Did you tell her about the shop yet?”
“No, not yet. I thought I’d surprise her tonight.” He paused. “What do you think?”
“I’m biased.”
Kit pulled out of the parking lot.
Mick sighed. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want you here. And I do like that you and Renee have patched things up.”
“But?”
“But I’m not sure she’s going to be excited about this.”
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