by Shannan Rhys
“I need a ride home,” he said. “I could call my sister, but I don’t quite know how to explain to her about where I’ve been. I’d rather do that in person.”
Aaron’s features darkened. “You really should stay here. It’s not good for you to be alone when your mate is off on a run. It’s harder than you think.”
“I just need to see my sister. Get my own truck. Your boys took me, and I don’t even have a proper shirt.”
“I can take him home,” the alpha’s wife said, quietly. The pity was more unmistakable this time.
The bearded man kissed his wife, reluctantly tearing away from her. “All right, then. I trust your judgment, love. As far as I know, everyone’s out of the house. The Quades were the last to leave.”
Ash’s insides constricted. The Quades. So that was Helena’s family? The Johnny Cash cult? Shit. No wonder she felt all kinds of fucked up about life.
“I’ll try to make it back first thing after the run,” Aaron kept talking to his wife. “There are a few things I’d still like to clear up before everyone leaves. I imagine the moon will release us a few hours before sunup.” He kissed her one last time and walked down the stairs, giving Ash a two-fingered salute from his forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Ash looked at the pretty brunette. “I appreciate the ride. I was in the Kidnap Car when I came, and I’d like to have my own truck.”
She reached inside the door and he heard keys jingling. Pulling the door closed, she waved to him. “I understand, honey. I’ll take you home.”
They walked over to a sleek black SUV, which she opened it with the key fob. The Kidnap Car, itself. Nice. Ash snorted as he climbed inside.
Neither of them spoke as Tonya pulled around all the cars, out the long driveway, through the big gate, and onto the highway.
“My husband means well,” she finally said, “but sometimes he can be a pain in the ass. He won’t apologize for bringing you out here, because he knows it had to be done, but I want you to know he is very sorry about how all this is working out.”
“I’m sure he is, Mrs. VonBrandt. It’s not his fault.”
“Call me Tonya,” she said. They turned on to Sage Brush Road and Ash suddenly knew where they were. Not far from the entrance to Manzano State Forest. He’d been out this way dozens of times with the guys, camping. Not here exactly, because it was all private land. Maybe they’d also instinctively stayed away, sensing wolves were close.
“Tonya,” he acknowledged. “I don’t need an apology. None of you did this.”
“Helena didn’t do this either, you know.”
He let out a long breath. “I know.”
“She’s just as much a victim in all this as you are.”
There was a long pause before he could speak. Not because he disagreed with her, but because he felt on the verge of breaking down. He had to pull it together.
Ash wanted nothing more than to protect Helena from all the horrible things in the world. Shield her. Hold her. Save her. But she wasn’t even willing to try.
“I know that, too,” he finally said, getting a handle on his shit. “I wish it were easier for humans to mate wolves.”
Tonya snorted. “Easier? Than just saying the spell? It’s as easy as falling off a short log, honey. There’s nothing easier, when it’s your mate.”
“Aaron said you were human. How was it for you?”
Tonya’s eyes glazed over a little, and a secret smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “It wasn’t as easy for Aaron as it was for me. But that was more about what was going on in his life than it was about our bond. We never questioned our bond.”
Ash sat with that, as he felt Helena’s emotions swirling in the back of his mind. She was still feeling some anxiety, but it had lessened enough that he was able to put it away, somewhat. It was no longer overwhelming.
“Do you feel him all the time, like this?” he asked, glancing out the window to mute some of the intimacy of that question.
“Less so when he’s a wolf,” she said. “When the animal takes over, there’s not as much physicality to the bond, but I can still feel his emotions.” She pointed between left and right when they came to Main Street, and he responded with a gesture to their left.
“If you turn left at the Allnighter, it’s just a couple of blocks up,” he offered, and gave her the street address.
“That’s a beautiful part of town,” she said. “All those little bungalows.”
“It’s the house I grew up in.” He shrugged. “It’s just a house.”
She made a ticking sound behind her teeth. “Look, honey, I’m going to give you some free advice, and you can take it or leave it.”
“Okay.”
“Being mated to a wolf is a gift. Just be thankful they didn’t change you, because you don’t need to be a wolf in order to be mated to one. I’ve been doing it for twenty-five years, and I’m still here.”
Ash’s mouth went dry. “Change me?”
She nodded, turning at the Allnighter. The familiar streets did nothing to comfort Ash’s roiling stomach.
“Change you into a wolf.”
“They can do that?”
“Of course they can.” Tonya smiled at him and pulled up in front of his little bungalow. “There’s a spell. A female wolf says it over a human man, and he becomes a wolf. It’s magick, honey. But like all magick, it has its drawbacks.”
He shook his head, unable to process all of this new information. “What are the drawbacks?”
“Well, first of all, you can’t really live in the human world without the support of a pack who can help you with your Changes. They happen at the moon’s whim, and they’re not easy to hide. Plus, new wolves shift sometimes against their will—if they feel a spike of uncontrollable anger, or sometimes…unfortunately…when they get extremely aroused. They need the pack to teach them how to control the shifting. You’ll have an animal spirit inside you, so you won’t be alone in that head of yours anymore.” She put the vehicle into park and turned in her seat. “The worst part, I think, is that the human justice system doesn’t work for wolves. When a wolf does something illegal, their pack justice system can be overridden by a higher power at the drop of a hat. So it’s pretty much a one-strike-and-you’re-out kind of thing.”
“Higher power? Like Fate?”
“No. Like the government.” She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture, as if she hadn’t just revealed that part of the government knew about wolves. “For most decent people, it’s not a problem. But it’s an important consideration for a female wolf to make before she turns someone—whether he’s her mate or not. It’s not a life choice you should go around making for someone else. Being a wolf is difficult, and it separates you from the human world.”
Ash sat very still, staring at their little house, thinking about his sister in there, who was probably worried sick. How much more worried would she be, all the time, if he had to leave her to become part of the wolf world? How much would she hate him?
“Allan does the best job of straddling the two worlds of any wolf I’ve ever known,” Tonya said. “Although he can be a bit of a hardass sometimes. But that’s what makes him a great sheriff.”
“How does he manage it?”
“Well, it was harder when he was a deputy. But he had a schedule. He was always off on the full-moon days, no exceptions. That way, no one would question why he suddenly had to abandon his duties to go shift. He also doesn’t have a mate, so that makes it easier for him.”
“Then who was that wolf he was chasing into the forest?” Ash asked, remembering the big sheriff and all his talk about winning her back.
“What wolf?”
“I just saw him, when I was walking back from…” He stopped. He’d almost said, from losing Helena, but he couldn’t make his mouth form the words. “He was chasing a wolf into the woods, and he said she was his mate. They haven’t done the spell yet.”
Tonya laughed and doubled over the steering wheel. “This weekend. Le
t me tell you. It has been a roller coaster.”
“It definitely has.” Ash opened the door and swung his leg out. It seemed to hurt a little less. Small favors, this bond thing.
“I’m going to give you my phone number,” she said, reaching into the glove compartment and pulling out a little white business card. It had Aaron VonBrandt’s name on it in gold lettering, above his title: CEO. She scribbled a phone number on the back and then added a five-digit number below it. “And that’s the code for the gate at our ranch. You are welcome any time.”
He took the card, turning it around in his fingers so he could look at the logo for VonBrandt Energy. Even on paper, Aaron VonBrandt bled power. But it was strange to think that they were wolves and locals. Because there was no denying the VonBrandts were part of the fabric of Somewhere. They were invested in the town. Even though they were wolves. Hell, one of them was the sheriff.
“You should come back in the morning when Helena shifts back. You’re more than welcome to stay at the house to wait for her if you’d like. I’m sure she’ll want to see you.”
He slipped out onto the sidewalk and turned back to lean on the seat of the SUV through the open door. “Y’know, Tonya, I don’t think she will. But thank you anyway. I’ve got to figure all this out.”
“I’m here if you want to talk. Come out to the ranch anytime.”
Ash nodded, closed the door, and watched her drive away. She was a nice woman. A good woman. And her husband was a decent guy, even if his pack kidnapped people and chained them up in their barn. They meant well.
When he got back inside the house, he found Lisa laid out on the couch, having fallen asleep in front of the television. He smiled when he recognized the Great British Baking Show. She certainly had eclectic tastes, his sister. Baking and serial killers.
Ash flipped off the TV and shifted her so that he could sit on the couch, her head cradled in his lap. She was his little sister, even though she was all grown up, and he’d agreed to stay in Somewhere because he wanted her to be happy.
He had no idea what he would do about Helena. He could still feel her emotions rolling around inside him. They were conflicted, to say the least. Anxiety and desire, fear and warmth. She was still running. He could feel the faintest pressure of the ground against her paws, although that was still a feeling he was getting used to. It was unnerving.
Not as unnerving as those hands he’d felt on his ass and chest.
Wait…
His breath caught in his throat. That feeling. That had been Helena. Someone had put his hand on her ass. And her breast. Someone who wasn’t him.
Shit of all shits. And it had been not long after she left him… The pressure had been hard enough to rouse him from a deep sleep. Somebody had been groping her.
Ash’s blood was running fast and hot. He clenched his fists, instinctively, and pressed them into the couch. Someone had touched his woman. After she’d had sex with him.
No one touched his woman.
Ash shot up off the couch and he heard Lisa’s groan behind him. “I’m sorry, Lis. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“What time is it?” she asked, then pulled her phone off the couch and groaned. “Damn. I hope I can still get to sleep tonight. I had to lay down after I made your sandwich… I must have fallen asleep.” She looked up at him, glancing up and down his body as if to make sure he was still in one piece. “What’s up?”
“I just wanted to say… I’m sorry about earlier.”
“What about earlier?”
“When I…” He paused. How did you say—When I was kidnapped by a couple of douchebag hillbillies—without sounding like a moron? “When I left.”
She waved a hand at him. “I figured Tyson came by and grabbed you, like he always does. He is a jackass, by the way. I just about had to punch him in the throat today. I don’t know why you hang out with that guy.”
“Yeah. Tyson.” It hadn’t been Tyson. But at least Lisa hadn’t spent all day worrying. That was all that mattered. Apparently, she’d slept through most of it. “They’re leaving tomorrow.”
“He told me that morning at the bakery.” Lisa yawned and got up off the couch, smacking her lips together. “I really shouldn’t have taken a nap. I should have just waited until I could go to sleep. But whenever I listen to the music for the Great British Baking Show…” She trailed off, walking into the kitchen. Eventually, she called back to him, “Hey, your sandwich is still here… you want it? Or you want me to make dinner?”
He pushed out a long breath. What he wanted was to find Helena and ask her what the hell she had done with some other guy after leaving him asleep in bed. Did I mean nothing to her, at all? Does she really care for me so little that she’d mess around with someone else and then force me into this mate bond?
Shit.
He was really pissed. He paced around the living room, trying to figure out what to do. There was no way to talk to her tonight—she’d be in her wolf form until morning. And there was no way he could tell his sister. He needed to find Tonya VonBrandt.
Chapter Twenty
When Ash called Tonya, she asked him to come out to the ranch. Begged him, practically. It will be better for you, she’d said. And something inside him knew she was right. The farther he’d gotten from Helena, the more itchy his insides became. Just the thought of going back out to the ranch made him relax.
He had a quick dinner with Lisa and listened to her complain about Tyson’s advances. He was pretty damn proud that she’d shut Ty down. That wasn’t an easy feat. But Lisa was strong. She was only twenty-two—a full six years younger than Ash—but she was an old soul. They’d both had to grow up fast.
He was proud of his sister. For the last four years, he’d been gone more often than not, and he found himself wondering what he’d missed. She’d gotten this job at Meg’s Bakery, and she’d fallen in love with baking. She was pretty damn good at it, too.
When he left, he kissed her on the forehead and promised he’d be back in the morning. She’d be at work, of course, making kolaches and cupcakes, but he’d see her when she got home. He’d see her every day.
It was a comforting thought.
If nothing else, meeting Helena had helped him realize it was time to settle down. He was almost thirty years old. The roving wanderer thing was a young man’s game. And while he’d enjoyed most of it, that lifestyle would have grown stale at some point. Best to give up on it before that happened.
The road back to the VonBrandt ranch seemed longer this time. And all the silence in the pickup truck was eating away at him. The realization that someone else had touched Helena wasn’t sitting well with him, but more than that, he didn’t understand her. If she honestly didn’t have feelings for him, why in the hell would she trap him in this nightmare?
He pressed in the gate code at the keypad, and the big, heavy metal thing moved up, allowing him access. He drove up, steering past a fence where a couple of horses were chomping on grass. It was such an idyllic picture—the well-manicured lawn, the animals roaming, the gorgeous old house—and most people would never know what was hidden underneath.
But Ash did. He wished he didn’t. Wished he could have left well-enough the hell alone. If wishes were horses, though… yeah, no use wishing. Realistically, there was no way he could have not approached Helena in Joe’s Bar. She’d drawn him in like a magnet. A thousand do-overs, and he’d go up to her every time. A thousand do-overs, and he’d bring her home every time. Make love to her every time.
Ash pulled up beside the Kidnap Car and made his way to the door. Tonya VonBrandt opened it before he could even knock. She stood there in the fading sunlight, hand on her hip, nodding in solidarity.
“I figured you’d call.” She gave him a sad smile and invited him inside. “It’s not easy to be separated from them, Ash. It really is better for us to be here together.”
“Us?”
Tonya ushered him into the living room. Several women were seated on a couple of
facing leather couches. A wide, dark wood coffee table sat in the middle of the gathering.
“I call us the moon widows,” said a woman with jet black hair, holding a big wine glass. “Pull up a chair.”
Ash took a seat in an empty chair near one of the couches, and looked around the room. There were five women, including Tonya, and they all had glasses of wine in their hands.
The oldest—a woman with a tight bun of gray hair—had been busying herself at the coffee table. There were a few empty glasses next to several bottles of wine, and she’d poured him a drink. “Welcome to the club,” she said, handing it over.
“That’s Aunt Evie,” Tonya said, indicating the bunned woman. “All our husbands are out on the run. That’s why Alyssa calls us the moon widows. Although there are a few of us missing. Kara and Emma are still on their way.”
“Drink up, boy. We’re about two glasses ahead of you,” Alyssa said, tossing her black hair over her shoulder. “If you expect to get any of the chocolate, you have to finish all of your wine.” Sure enough, there was a big box of chocolates behind the row of bottles.
“That’s Alyssa.” Tonya smiled at the brash woman. “She’s the wife of Aaron’s cousin, Jason. Their sons are just about the same age as mine and Aaron’s.”
“My youngest is on his first run tonight,” Alyssa said, downing the last of her red wine and then passing the glass to the brunette on her right. “Top me off. I’m old.”
They all laughed, but there was still tension under the humor.
“He’ll be fine,” said the brunette pouring the wine. “Aaron will take good care of him.”
“Thanks, Penny,” Alyssa took an immediate drink of her topped-off glass. “I’m not worried about him. I was there last month when he shifted for the first time. He’s a pro already.”
Ash took a long sip of his wine, trying to follow their conversation. He had no idea what half the things meant. First shift, first run, moon widows. It was like being inducted into a very strange secret society without orientation.
“That’s Penny, there, with the wine,” Tonya said, leaning toward him from the couch. “And that,” she pointed to a middle-aged blonde woman who looked like she could have been a model, “is Teresa.”