by Trudi Jaye
“That sounds full on.”
“I almost died. It took all I had just to stay alive.”
Missy had never said those words aloud before. She really had almost died when Lucietta attacked her. She’d been fighting for her life, and she’d known it. But then after she came down and Blago started attacking her for killing his sister, doubts had set in.
“I’m surprised you’re not more scared up here,” said Zeph.
“It’s in my blood, the trapeze and the high wire. I don’t know how to do anything else.”
“It took a lot out of you, didn’t it? Fighting Lucietta? Killing her?” He said the last words softly.
“I’ll remember the moment she died for the rest of my life—the light in her eyes going blank, her own knife sticking out of her, and my bloodied hand on the knife. It’s still as clear now as it was five minutes after I did it. I even felt it through the Carnival. It’s like a piece of me died with her and I’ll never get it back. And they blame me for it. Like they think I had a choice.” Missy’s voice broke and tears started to roll down her cheeks. She wiped at them angrily. This wasn’t why she’d come up here. She didn’t even know how she’d gotten onto this topic.
Zeph didn’t say anything. He just put an arm around her and held her close. She leaned into his shoulder, unable to resist the peace he was offering.
“I haven’t known you a long time, Missy, but I know you wouldn’t do anything like that if you could avoid it. Blago isn’t thinking clearly if he’s blaming you. Maybe he subconsciously blames himself and is lashing out at you to make himself feel better.”
“Where’d you get that, Psych 101?”
Zeph grinned down at her. “I’ll have you know I did a few college papers before I decided it wasn’t for me and went off to ride a bike instead.”
Missy’s heart flip-flopped at the expression on his face. He looked so alive and lighthearted. He shone for a moment and seemed real. Not the dulled dopey-happy zombie he’d been recently. “Zeph. Have you gone back under?”
He blinked. Considered. “I don’t feel like I have. I can usually tell when I’m going back under.”
“If you know what I’m talking about, I think you’re still out. Coming up higher worked.” A larger part of Missy rejoiced in the idea that she could get him back this easily.
Zeph leaned in closer. “If I’m still out, then I’m going to do this.” He kissed her again hard on the lips, using one arm to wrap her closer to him while the other one stayed firmly attached to the bar over their heads.
Missy leaned into the kiss as the fire between them ignited. She couldn’t breathe; she couldn’t think. All she knew was the touch and feel of Zeph beneath her hands and her lips. He moved his lips away from hers and kissed a line of fire down her neck to a sensitive spot behind her ear. Missy tipped back her head, giving him better access.
She knew she should stop him, that this wasn’t the time or place. But she couldn’t help it. The feel of his lips was too good; she couldn’t resist.
He pulled back. “You know, kissing you seems to drag the fog away too. We might have to test that theory as well.” He glanced around. “But maybe not up here.”
Missy rolled her eyes. “That is the worst pick-up line ever. ‘You have to have sex with me so I can get out from under the evil curse magic of Veronica?’ Come on.”
Zeph laughed, the sound natural and normal.
Missy smiled up at him. Maybe they would be okay. Maybe they could win this game against Veronica.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
“So just what is Missy planning, Zeph? You can tell me.” Veronica’s voice purred over Zeph’s body, making him relax and smile.
“She’s planning something, but I don’t know what. She didn’t tell me.” The words poured out of his mouth, and he wanted to tell Veronica more. He wished he could tell her what she wanted to know just so she would be happy with him.
“Why didn’t she tell you? Didn’t I tell you to get more information from her?”
A small voice tucked somewhere deep inside yelled, No! I’ll never let her tell me!
But the cloying layer over the top, the one that wanted to do everything Veronica said, answered, “I’ll try again. I’ll make her tell me this time.”
“Yes. You will. Otherwise, your mother will see the consequences.”
For a moment, the fog pulled back and Zeph stood in Veronica’s office, fully aware. He stared at Veronica, every fibre of his being poised to attack. “If you even hurt a hair on my mother’s head, I will come after you like a rabid dog. I will never stop, and you won’t be able to run far enough or fast enough,” he said with venom.
Veronica’s eye’s widened, and she took a step backward. “How did you get out?”
Zeph blinked. He realized too late that he should have kept his mouth shut, let Veronica think she had total control over his every move. “Get out?” he said, trying to buy time.
The fog started to descend again, and Zeph leaned away from it. He needed to hide the answer, to not tell Veronica how it was happening.
“How did you get out from under my magic?” Veronica’s voice was hard and sharper than he’d ever heard before.
The fog was covering him again, this time with an added layer that seemed to be flowing directly from Veronica where she stood opposite him, and he smiled at her. “Emotion pulls me out. You made me angry. You shouldn’t threaten me.”
Veronica stared at him for a moment. “I promise I won’t threaten your mother again. I can see I don’t really need to do that anyway.”
Zeph nodded happily. He much preferred it when Veronica was nice to him.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Missy was still practicing with Alphonso when she glanced down and saw her mother standing by the net, pacing agitatedly. A frisson of unease rolled through her body. Something was wrong.
“I need to see what she wants,” she said, nodding toward Barbarina.
Alphonso handed her the bar. He didn’t say a word, didn’t try to tell her they had to keep practicing. Didn’t deny she might need to find out if her mother was hurt in some way.
Missy swung out, executed a precise triple flip, and dropped to the net.
When she finally swung down off the net and stood next to her mother, she saw the tears in her eyes and the agitated steps she was taking.
“Mom! What is it?” She put a hand on each shoulder to stop her mother’s pacing.
“He’s hurt. I hurt him, and he let me do it.”
“What?” Missy’s heart skipped a beat.
“Your father. Veronica told me I needed more curse magic to make my performance even better. She told me to hurt your father, that it was the only way to do it.” She was pulling hard on the fingers of one hand, as if trying to dislodge the joints.
Missy’s heart missed a beat. “Where is he now?”
“Veronica called the doctor. He’s with him now.” Barb started sobbing. “I hurt him so badly. He said it was touch and go whether he’d make it.”
Missy crushed her mother’s shaking shoulders into a hug. This was Veronica’s doing. She was punishing Missy for something. Or maybe warning her.
Missy thought of Zeph, completely under Veronica’s spell, telling her everything she wanted to know. Did he say they’d kissed? She caught her breath. Or had Veronica found out she’d visited her father?
Missy shook her head. She didn’t know. “We need to get to Dad, make sure he’s okay.”
Turning, she kept her arms around her mother’s shoulders, half supporting her. Missy walked as quickly as she could, wishing she could break out into a run, a sprint, to get to her father faster.
But her mother’s shaking beside her kept her walking. Was she out of the spell? She must be. This should have made sure her emotions were running wild enough that she’d be out.
“Mom, do you know where you are?” she asked gently, trying to be careful.
“Of course I do, Missy. The Experiment.”
&
nbsp; “But I mean, how do you feel?”
“How do you think I feel? I just hurt my husband!” Anger tinged Barb’s voice now.
Exasperated, Missy lost the ability to be gentle. “I mean, Mom, are you out from Veronica’s magic? Are you thinking under your own steam, or are you still doing whatever she wants?”
Barb stopped in the street. She looked up at Missy. “What are you talking about?”
“Mom, you must know. You’ve been under Veronica’s magic for the last few months. Dad said you’d come out of it a couple times. Do you remember?”
Her mother swallowed a couple times, her eyes unable to meet Missy’s. “I… I think I remember. It’s been so long.”
“Veronica has been controlling you.”
Barb nodded. “Yes, she likes to be in control. Likes to tell me what to do. Likes to hurt your father.” Her voice sounded unnatural, awkward. Like she wasn’t used to dealing with these kinds of words, these kinds of ideas. As if she didn’t know how to handle normal life anymore, didn’t know how to act.
“Mom, listen to me,” said Missy, grabbing her mother’s upper arms. “Dad’s been staying here because of you. Because he thinks you’re happy here. Is that true? Do you like it here?”
Barb looked confused for a moment, and then the anger surged back. She shook her head. “I don’t know who I am anymore. I’ve lost myself.”
Missy nodded. “Then I’m going to get you both out of here.” She grabbed her mother’s hand. “But first we have to make sure Dad’s okay.”
They ran the rest of the way back to her parents’ house, and Missy slammed through the front door. She came to a halt at the door of their bedroom. Her father was lying white-faced on the bed, his massive chest barely moving. Cuts, burns, and slashes covered his arms and face, but the rest of his body disappeared under a sheet.
A tall brown-haired man stood to one side, writing in a small journal. Missy cleared her throat and he turned around, a stethoscope around his neck marking him as the doctor. He didn’t look to be more than mid-forties. Sharp green eyes took her in, and he nodded as if he knew her. She took another step into the room. “Is he going to be okay?” she asked.
The doctor glanced at her father and frowned. “He’s been abused rather severely, and Veronica won’t lift a finger to heal him. It will be touch and go for the next twenty-four hours. He’s lost a lot of blood, and I’d prefer to take him to a hospital. But Veronica won’t allow that either.”
Beside her, Barb let out a sob. “I did this to him. It’s my fault.”
“Shhh. Mom, it’s okay. It’s not your fault.” Missy put her arms around her mother and held her close while she sobbed. She looked over at her father, deathly pale in the bed. Despite all the things he’d done, how he’d helped Lucietta with her plans, he didn’t deserve this.
She glanced at the doctor. “So what now? How do we help him?”
“We wait. You can stay here and watch him for me, and I’ll call back every couple hours to make sure he’s still okay. Any issues, you come get me.”
“Do you live here? Are you part of The Experiment?” she asked.
“For my sins,” he said. “Barb knows where to find me.”
“And what do you think of this,” said Missy, gesturing angrily toward her father. “How can you be okay with people being mutilated?” Her anger rolled off her in waves, and she wanted to lash out at something. This doctor was as close as she was going to get to Veronica.
The doctor stared at her for a moment, and Missy realized he was younger than she’d first thought, maybe in his early thirties. His face was lined and haggard and he had dark lines under his eyes.
“I’m not allowed to have an opinion on any of this,” he said before sweeping out past Missy and her mother.
***
Missy stumbled back into the Big House the next morning. She’d been up all night with her father, watching him like a hawk. Her mother had flitted in and out of the real world, sobbing and crying when she remembered what she’d done, calmer when she was under Veronica’s magic.
The doctor had come again early morning and said her father had gotten through the worst of it and should pull through. As with the Jolly Carnival, those living in Veronica’s sphere usually healed faster than ordinary people.
She needed to change her clothes. Maybe even sleep. But she also needed to find Kitten. Missy had thought long and hard while she was watching her father’s slow breathing, and her focus had narrowed down to a pinprick.
She was going to stop Veronica, bring her to her knees.
But first a shower. She opened the door to her room and halted in the doorway, her brain not comprehending what was wrong at first. In front of her, everything was faultlessly tidy, bed made, nothing out of place. Bile rose in her throat. Someone had been in here, gone through her things, and tidied up.
Missy stood motionless, looking around the room. It wasn’t as if she had a lot of stuff, but the thought of someone going through it made her feel sick. Tidying it up after her wrathful destruction felt like a very precise and controlled warning not to disobey. A chilly reminder of who was in charge after the violent and bloody warning she’d received through her parents.
Even as she held her father’s hand through the night, she’d not been completely certain her father’s injuries had been aimed at her. But seeing this room confirmed her suspicions. She placed one shaking finger on the lampshade she was sure she’d dented permanently. It was pristine, not a mark in sight.
Missy hardened her resolve. She didn’t have time to be upset. There was one way to beat Veronica and it was to be just as cold and calculated as the older woman. Missy picked up her towel and made her way to the shower. She was out again soon after and dressed in clean clothes. Time to take action.
Kitten was in the kitchen, sitting at the table, coloring in a book. There was no one else around.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in school?” Missy asked.
Kitten shrugged. “I don’t like the teacher.”
She slid into a chair beside the young girl, wondering how to approach what she wanted to say.
“Tilly said to tell you something,” whispered Kitten.
Missy’s heart leaped. “What?”
“She said, ‘Tell Missy not to worry. Everything will be fine.’”
Missy frowned. That wasn’t very helpful. “Did she say anything else? When’s she due home?”
“Today or tomorrow.” Kitten shrugged, her concentration on the red pen she was using to color in the ladybird on her page. “Definitely before my big performance.”
“When did you speak to her?”
“She called yesterday. Mama let me speak to her.”
Missy curled her fist in frustration. Was Tilly a friend or a foe? Was she truly coming home to give up some secret of the Carnival to Veronica, or was it part of a plan to rescue them? She just didn’t know, and it meant she couldn’t risk just sitting back and waiting.
“Kitten, do you know about the magic around The Experiment?”
“Of course.” Kitten gave her a look like she was slow.
“And the persuasion magic Veronica uses on a lot of people? You’re immune to it, right?”
“Mom says our family has always been immune. She says it’s because we’re so strong-willed.”
“If you know, that means Tilly knows, right?”
Kitten nodded. “Of course. Although, Veronica was always trying to make Tilly do what she wanted. That’s why she put the curse magic inside her when she came home last time. Tilly didn’t like that.”
“I bet,” said Missy, thinking hard. “Do you know why Veronica doesn’t do the same thing to you and your mom?”
“It’s not very nice. And Mom and I aren’t being naughty like Tilly. We do what Veronica wants.”
“You don’t mind doing what Veronica wants?”
Kitten looked up. “Marco says it’s best to do what she wants for now.”
“Marco?” Missy frowned
, trying to figure out who Kitten was referring to. Then she clicked. “Veronica’s brother?”
“He talks to me.”
Missy paused. “Why haven’t I met Marco?”
“He stays in bed and he can’t speak through his mouth. He talks to me in my head, and he can hear me in his. I’m the only one he talks to, which makes Veronica grumpy, but she lets me visit him anyway. It’s only Veronica that’s keeping him alive.”
Missy’s breathing slowed. “How does she do that?” She hadn’t realized Marco was that ill. She imagined an invalid lying in bed, only able to talk through the mind of a young girl, and shuddered.
“Her curse magic. She’s very strong. But Marco wishes she wouldn’t.” Kitten looked at Missy with large eyes that saw more than a child her age should.
She nodded slowly. “Where does he live?”
“With Veronica. Next to her office.”
“Can I visit him with you?” Perhaps Marco would help them, especially if he knew Veronica had Kitten doing a knives act.
Kitten shook her head. “Veronica won’t let you visit. She doesn’t let anyone see him but me and her… and sometimes Alphonso. Even Mama’s not allowed in.”
“It sounds lonely.”
“Marco doesn’t like it. He says it’s like being trapped in a shell.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
“You have to take me too,” said the doctor. Stubble covered his face, dark lines under his eyes. “Your father told me what you’re planning.”
Missy’s heart beat faster as she glanced over at her father. He was sitting propped up in the bed, holding her mother’s hand, talking to her quietly. His face was healing quickly now.
“No.” What was her father thinking?
He grabbed her arm, squeezing tight. “You have to get me out of here. You can’t imagine the things she makes me do.”