by Trudi Jaye
“Did Barb tell you who I am?” said Zeph quietly.
Christoph’s gaze rested on Zeph’s face a moment before he nodded silently. “You’re Abba’s boy.”
Zeph took a breath. “I figure you owe me. I didn’t know my dad too well, but I might have liked to one day. Now I don’t have that chance.” It was pretty harsh, and Zeph knew he was being unfair. But they needed Christoph’s help.
Christoph was like a statue, his large brown eyes—so like Missy’s—focused on Zeph. “Your dad loved you, Zeph,” he said eventually. “Your mother taking you away like that… It cut him up like nothing else. It was like something was missing after that; nothing was ever the same. He was always looking for you to come back. Your mother too.”
Zeph swallowed over the lump that appeared in his throat. He didn’t want to hear this, but he was the one who’d started it. “Mom always said they left us,” he said softly. “That he dumped us at a hospital and kept going, living his reckless life.”
Christoph shook his head. “Your mother packed your bags, told your father she was taking you away to see some special doctor who was going to cure you. He always thought she would come back, even after she asked him to buy her that house in California. Even when you were grown up and gone from there.”
Zeph had trouble breathing for a moment. Abba had bought the house? Had been waiting for them to come back? “That’s not… That isn’t the way Mom tells it.”
“The life wasn’t for her. I see that now. Your mom, she wanted something more stable, more ordinary. But she fell hard for Abba. He was always charismatic, even when we were kids. They were married with Rilla on the way before they realized how different they were. Even then, they kept trying.”
Shaking his head, Zeph stood. “Why are you telling me this?” he asked.
“You said you didn’t know your father. I’m just trying to explain who he was. He was a great man, someone so big, so special that you could never forget him once you’d met him. And he loved your ma. But it wasn’t enough; she couldn’t live the Carnival life. And the Carnival life was the only one Abba knew. He was born to it, and he was the center from which the rest of us radiated. He couldn’t leave, even if he wanted to.”
Zeph paced the room, only just managing to hold back from putting his hands over his ears. He didn’t want to hear any of this. He’d only meant to use his father as leverage to get them out of here. “Fine. That’s great. Now will you help us?”
Christoph sighed. “I don’t agree with Missy’s plan. I know a way out, a gap in security. We could all meet and leave through it. We could regroup and come back for Veronica.”
“And leave everyone else trapped here under Veronica’s curse magic?” Zeph felt it weighing on him, like it was a physical presence. “And what about Missy? She’s got a block on her now. How are we going to get her away?”
“You’re not strong enough to take on Veronica,” said Christoph sadly, the lines on his face becoming more pronounced. “None of you are. And if you try to go up against her head on, you’ll lose. And you’ll take me and Barb down with you. I don’t care about myself, but I won’t let Barb be hurt.”
“We need to stop Veronica. She thinks she can do anything to anyone. And once we’re gone, she’s going to shore up her power and make it so we can’t get back in. It’ll be worse, and we won’t be able to do a damn thing to stop it.” Zeph waved his hand toward the village outside. “This is bigger than us now. We have to do something while we can.”
Christoph shook his head. “I want Barb safe. I won’t agree to any plan that might cause her harm. We need to get out of here as fast as we can and then regroup.”
Sam nodded slowly, looking pensive. “You might be right. Maybe we do both? We get Christoph to lead some of the group to safety, and the rest of us disrupt Veronica and her power.” He looked over at Zeph.
Zeph shrugged. “I guess. My mom and Barb and Kitten could go with him. At least we’d be able to ensure they got out.”
Christoph cleared his throat. “I can lead them through. But what are you going to do? What’s the distraction?”
Zeph and Sam glanced at each other. “I think it’s best if you don’t know,” said Sam. Zeph nodded. The plan that Missy and Tilly had laid out for them had the potential to go wrong. If Christoph couldn’t handle the responsibility, they needed to keep him out of it.
Sighing, Christoph stood. “Perhaps you’re right.” He reached out and shook Zeph’s hand. “Your father was proud of you, Zeph. He saw you ride many times.”
The shock hit Zeph square in the chest, mostly because the words were so unexpected. His father had seen him on his motorbikes? Had thought enough about him to actually tune in? The thought made him go cold and then hot. He swallowed hard and clenched his hands. They had other things to think about; he didn’t have time for a trip down memory lane.
“We’ll have to leave later today, before the performance tonight. We’ll let you know the timing,” he said in a hard voice.
Christoph looked at him strangely but showed them out, clapping them both on the shoulder. “Look after my Missy, Zeph. Make sure she gets out of here okay.”
“I’ll guard her with my life,” he promised and then immediately wondered how he was going to keep that promise if Veronica’s magic took him back under. He walked quickly away, trying not to look back at Christoph. They needed to get back to the medical center to check on Missy.
It had now been two hours since he’d carried Missy out of Veronica’s office, and Zeph was still out of the fog. He kept expecting it to descend at any moment, and it was making him twitchy.
“We’re just going to have to find someone else to do it,” said Sam.
“Who? Tilly’s the only one who’s okay, and she can’t do it all by herself,” Zeph replied, hating he couldn’t volunteer himself.
“I think Alphonso will help.”
Zeph paused to think, going over the scenarios in his head. “What if he’s not with us? What if he goes straight to Veronica?”
The doc shook his head. “Did you see his face when he saw Kitten?”
“No.” Zeph tried to think back to Alphonso’s expression, but all he could remember was the young girl’s bloodied shoulder.
“He was devastated. He’s lost whatever faith he might once have had. He’ll help us.”
“But will he help us by running around setting off the fire alarms? It’s one thing not to tell Veronica; it’s another to actually participate.” Zeph barely resisted the urge to look over his shoulder. It was the first time he’d spoken out loud about what they actually planned to do. It wasn’t the best plan in the world, but it was all they had.
And Zeph wasn’t actually so sure they could trust the austere performer. He never seemed to show emotion. Perhaps it was just wishful thinking on the doc’s part.
“I don’t know. But we have to find out.” Sam pushed open the doors of the medical center, and Zeph followed him inside.
His heart started thumping hard when he saw Missy, fully dressed, coming out of her room. “What are you doing?” he asked.
Missy gave him an annoyed look. “I’m going to practice. That was the plan, right?”
Zeph wanted to say no, that wasn’t it. He wanted to be able to protect Missy from all the pain and heartache he’d dragged her into.
But he couldn’t.
Some of his feelings must have been visible on his face, because Missy walked over to him and placed one hand on his cheek. “Don’t worry, Zeph. I’ll be fine. I’m not going to take any chances, and Veronica wants me alive, for whatever reason.”
He placed his own larger hand over hers and looked into her eyes. “You better take care of yourself. I need you to be okay. You hear me?”
Missy nodded but didn’t say anything. She just leaned in and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, her breath a sweet tickle against his skin. He wanted to turn his head, to take her lips in a desperate kiss, to show her everything he was feeling inside. B
ut he didn’t. He let her go and watched as she walked out the door.
“It’s going to be fine,” said Sam.
“What makes you think that?” asked Zeph roughly.
“It has to be.”
***
Missy walked on wobbly legs down the road toward the practice ring. She’d put on a brave face in front of Zeph and Sam, knowing they were relying on her to talk to Alphonso. But she could feel the angry buzzing of the block inside her body, and it made her want to run screaming down the street. The urge to start ripping at her skin was so strong she was having trouble breathing, and that lack of control alone scared her.
She stopped for a moment and concentrated on long, slow breaths in and out. Closing her eyes, she cut off all other thought and just kept breathing slowly.
Unfortunately, that just made her more able to concentrate on the giant burning mass inside her that would force her to do things she didn’t want to do—or provide her with the most excruciating pain she’d ever experienced.
It was a terrifying thought, and her breathing again faltered, coming out in ragged gasps. She bent over and put her hands on her knees, trying to relax and force her breath into a more even rhythm.
It didn’t help, and she stood up again.
Without warning, she was enveloped into an enormous hug from one side. She caught Zeph’s unique scent and sighed into his shoulder, closing her eyes. This time, she felt comfort and warmth and safety, even though she probably shouldn’t feel any of those things. Her breathing slowed and calmed.
“Thanks,” she said. “I needed that.”
“I thought I would come and watch your practice. Give you a little support.”
She nodded against his shoulder. “That would be good. I think I need it right now.” She didn’t move from where she stood, encircled in his arms. She just needed another couple minutes of safety before she had to get back to her mission.
“How come you’re still out of the curse magic?” she asked, her voice muffled against Zeph’s shirt.
“I came out of it when she was hurting you, and I haven’t been back in since. I don’t know if I’ll go back under or not.”
Something leaped in Missy’s chest. “All it took was her causing me pain? Now we know, huh?” She wished they’d learned that before Veronica had put this thing inside her.
Zeph hugged her tighter. “I’d rather go back under than have you experience that again, Missy. I wish I could undo it. I wish I’d come out of it sooner so I could have done something.”
Missy sighed. “It’s not your fault, Zeph. And she’s strong. I don’t think you would have been able to stop her, even if you had come out of the magic earlier.”
“We’ll get it off you. Tilly’s was taken off, and yours can be broken too.”
Missy looked up into his hopeful eyes; her heart felt like it was crumbling around the edges. Veronica had said Missy’s block was stronger than any she’d done before—and Missy knew they’d only just managed to pry Tilly’s block out of her. “We have to escape first.”
Zeph must have seen the doubt on her face, because he tightened his arms around her. “We’re going to be fine. We have people helping us now. And Veronica, she might be powerful, but she’s got weaknesses. She’s proud, egotistical. And she’s obsessed with her brother.”
Missy nodded. “We could use that. But for now, I have to get to practice.”
Turning, they started back down the road, but she didn’t let go of Zeph, staying curled under one shoulder, letting him hold her against him, trying not to touch the bandages on his sides—a reminder of his wounded back.
“Do you think this is going to work? Talking to Alphonso?” she asked softly.
“I don’t know. But we have to try.”
She nodded. “How did we get into this mess?”
Zeph made a face down at her. “You can blame me for that. I’m sorry I dragged you here, to this terrible place. You knew right from the start, just by looking at the houses.”
“I thought they were creepy. I didn’t know why. We both should have listened to Tilly.”
“I’ll make sure we get out of here, Missy. I will.” His face was serious, and the words came out like a vow.
Missy shook her head. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Zeph.” She bit her lip over the tears that wanted to escape.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
“We need your help, Alphonso.” Missy held her breath after saying the words. They were on the platform high up in the center of the ring.
“Pardon me?” Alphonso looked confused.
“We need your help against Veronica.”
Alphonso sighed. “It is better not to fight her. Your life will be much calmer, Missy.” He started to untie the trapeze bar.
“I’m not talking about me.” Missy felt the bleakness filter over her. “I can’t leave now.”
“She has placed a block on you, has she not?” He paused and glanced at Missy.
“You can tell?”
Alphonso nodded. “It becomes obvious after you’ve seen it as many times as I have.”
“It’s not me you’d be helping; it’s Tilly and Kitten.” She watched his face closely to see if he reacted to their names. She was taking a risk, telling him who was involved, but it was the only way she knew to get him hooked.
He didn’t even blink.
She tried again. “And Zeph and his mother. Helene would be free of Veronica’s influence.” She put a hand on his arm, trying to get through to him.
“It will not succeed, and you’ll all be worse off for it.” His voice was soft, and Missy caught wisps of pain laced into the words.
“What happened to you? How did she get you to be so obedient?” Missy said in frustration.
Alphonso’s eyes flashed. “I am not obedient like some dog. I stay because it is a fit place for someone like me.”
“Like you don’t deserve any better? That’s crazy.”
“And yet true.”
“What about Tilly? Doesn’t she deserve something better?”
Alphonso blinked. “Tilly is a creature of The Experiment. She knows the life here. She will stay this time.”
Missy shook her head. “No, she’s not. And she’s definitely not staying. We’re leaving tonight, during the big show, and I need your help to make that happen. I want you to come with us.”
Alphonso shook his head. “You’re making a bad choice.”
“Why is it a bad choice to leave here? She’s a madwoman. How is that better than living outside, with our own free choice to lead us?”
“She’s created a world that’s safe. Not many people could have done that.”
“Safe as long as you do exactly what she says. Not so safe if you don’t agree with her. Did you see what she did to my dad? Or Zeph? What about Kitten? Was that normal?”
“Kitten was a mistake. A miscalculation on Veronica’s part.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself.
“What bullshit! Is that what she told you? She’s getting overconfident, and she risked a little girl’s life to prove a point. That’s not okay.”
“We must practice. You waste my time with your silly ideas.” He grasped the bar and swung out with no preparation, as if he were trying to escape from Missy. It was probably the least practiced swing she’d ever seen him do, and it was still more skilful than most other flyers.
Why wasn’t he on their side? She didn’t think he wanted to be here; she didn’t think he even liked Veronica or her ways, not really.
It’s a fit place for someone like me.
That’s what he’d said. Which meant he’d done something to make him think he deserved to be punished. Just like her dad. For a moment, Missy felt anger. Another man who couldn’t see right from wrong.
Her thoughts calmed. But at least her father was trying to make up for it now. And his decision to stay here had been altruistic—he’d been doing it for her mother.
So why was Alphonso staying?
<
br /> He landed on the far platform and gestured for her to start. Missy took a deep breath, centering herself. She grasped the bar with both hands and stepped off the platform into the arc of the swing.
Alphonso met her halfway and grasped her legs in his strong grip. She let go of her bar and was flying upside down through the air. The feeling of flying momentarily distracted her from everything that was going on, and Missy took a breath filled with excitement and adrenaline. There was nothing better than being up here, flying through the air, testing her body and her limits.
And then she was back next to her bar. She grasped it with two hands, Alphonso let go of her legs, and she was swinging back to her side of the ring.
Next time she went across with her legs tucked over the bar, and it was her hands that grasped Alphonso.
She looked up at him. “You have to do it. I know Tilly is your daughter. If for no other reason, you have to do it for her.”
Alphonso’s face went white, and then with a murmur of surprise, Missy found herself plummeting through the air before landing on the safety net below. The incomparable Alphonso had dropped her.
Missy looked up at him from where she lay on the net. That at least confirmed it for her.
She was certain Alphonso was Tilly’s father.
Crawling along the net, she flipped down and went back to the ladder. She wasn’t going to give up that easily.
***
Zeph watched the final setup for the night’s performance with deepening dread. It was being billed as an extra-special event, with Missy and Alphonso’s new act one of the highlights. He’d heard from Sam that it was a sold-out show.
There was no mention of a knife throwing performance or a new Ringmaster, thank goodness. He was grateful for both those mercies.
But Missy hadn’t been able to convince Alphonso their cause was a good one, and he denied he was Tilly’s father. He’d also dropped her into the net another five times before Missy gave up and called time on the practice.