by Dannika Dark
“The truth can be cathartic.”
Her shoulders sagged. “Viktor invited me.”
“Come away from the fire. I can’t speak to you this way.”
Gem adjusted the fireplace screen and ambled back to the bed. She rounded the foot, gripping each post before crawling onto the opposite side and mirroring his position. “Why do you want to know?”
“Keystone was a last resort for all of us, and you were the first. You don’t strike me as a woman lacking options.” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “When I asked you before what brought you to Keystone, your light went dark. I’ve never seen shadows cast on your light before. My hand has been forced recently to share things about my past. Talking about the book and other aspects of that time in my life gave me anxiety. So imagine my surprise when telling you an intimate part of my life gave me more relief than I could have imagined. It’s comforting to have someone truly see who you are, and I want to return the favor and give you the same. If there’s no one else here you can trust, I want to be that person.”
“Why does it matter?”
“Spirits like you are rare in this world, and I never want to see that darkness in your light again.”
The quiet that blanketed the room was palpable.
Gem clutched a pillow to her chest. “Talking about it doesn’t make it go away.”
“You might be surprised. The memory remains, but you lose the heavy emotions chained to it, and your spirit feels lighter.” Niko reached across the bed until his fingers touched her sock. She knew he was reaching for her hand, but he squeezed her toe instead. “Whatever you confide in me stays in this room. On my honor, I will not cast judgment on anything you tell me about your past. I only want to relieve you of the burden of carrying it alone.”
Gem considered his offer. This was more than just curiosity; he genuinely thought telling him might help her. Only Viktor knew the full story, but not because she’d told him.
After a shaky breath, she averted her gaze and began. “Everyone else here was selected for their skills. Viktor chose me for a different reason.” She squeezed the pillow. “He started Keystone because of me.”
Niko drew back. “I knew you were the first but because of you? He once mentioned the idea of hiring a partner and running this organization.”
“Viktor shaded the truth to protect me. He’d always toyed with the idea, but I was the catalyst.” Gem couldn’t believe she was about to spill the beans on her dark past. Niko would never look at her the same again.
“I made a vow,” he reminded her. “I can see the fear and doubt in your light.”
“Exactly! That’s why I don’t want you to see me like this.”
“Why not?”
“I’m energetic and fun. That’s how I want people to think of me. That’ll change, Niko. The minute I tell you about my past, you’ll never see me the same again. You’ll always know. Every time we pass in the halls or dine at the table, you’ll be thinking of that.” Gem realized she was squeezing the stuffing out of the pillow, so she tossed it aside.
Niko cupped his hands in his lap. “And will you not be thinking of me as the ancient who has never known a woman?”
“Of course not!” She crawled toward the headboard and leaned against it.
“Don’t let your vulnerability be your weakness.”
She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “I’m not going to lie. It’s a surprising turn of events. But it’s not the first thing that comes to mind when I see your face. You know what is? That time when I fainted at Patrick Bane’s party. I was so distraught when I saw Hunter falling that I lost control of my energy. You held me in your arms and told me a story that took my mind off the drama. No one’s ever done anything like that for me. You’ve lived so many lifetimes, and I’m envious of all the history you’ve seen. I know I’m young with years ahead of me, but I’m also a history buff. I’d give anything to be able to go back in time and see what the world was like.”
A smile touched his lips. “There was no indoor plumbing.”
She laughed blithely and felt at ease again.
Niko shifted to face her and leaned on his hand. “Tell me your story.”
Gem took a deep breath and began. “My Creator was the closest I ever had to a parent. When she was murdered, I grieved alone. Most Learners are out on their own in a year, but I stayed with her for a long time, mostly because of my sheltered past. I had a lot to learn, but it was more than that. I didn’t want to leave and be alone. We were so different, but we kept each other company. Sometimes I think Margaret saw me as the child she never had.” The memories were so raw that tears welled in Gem’s eyes. She quickly wiped them away even though Niko couldn’t see. “After her death, I inherited her money, but I gave it all to charity. I didn’t want it. All I wanted was her back, and taking her belongings meant accepting her death. I was so stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.” Gem repeatedly struck her head with her palm.
Niko scooted close and captured her wrist in his hand. “No one taught you how to deal with your emotions, did they?”
“Not really.”
Gem remembered the solitude throughout her childhood. She’d spent so many years alone in that room, crying with no one to comfort her and raging with no one to calm her down. She read about a world she couldn’t live in. It wasn’t until she gained her freedom that she realized how differently she behaved from others: her mannerisms, her impulsive reactions, and her inability to control her emotions.
“Did your Creator save you from your captor?”
“No. I was twenty when there was a big bust by HALO. See, Bob used to have another guy doing translations, but the languages were too numerous and complex. I was his replacement. I guess Bob contracted him to do the work for money and let him go when I became adept enough to use. Sometimes people like to boast or complain about their past jobs, and I guess this guy told the wrong person. That’s how they found out about our operation.”
“What happened to your captor?”
“Bob and two of his companions were sent to Breed jail. I thought that’s where they were going to send me since I did the translations, but a man named Justus turned me over to the Relic council instead. They didn’t know what to do with me. I was too old for an orphanage and too sheltered to find a job and live in the real world. So they placed me with another Relic to be his understudy. He had a lot of Mage clientele, and that’s how I met Margaret. She took to me right away and asked if I’d be interested in a job as her personal assistant. I lacked focus and drove my mentor up the wall, but Margaret saw something in me. She noticed my interest in fashion and thought I could bring her into the twenty-first century.”
Niko tilted his head so it rested on his shoulder. “It sounds like she was a smart woman.”
Gem smiled wistfully. “She was. I worked with her for three years before she shocked me with the offer of becoming her Learner. Sometimes I wonder if she’d planned it all along.”
“Why would a Mage offer immortality to a Relic? Especially knowing that you will one day desire children to pass along your knowledge to?”
“Because I didn’t want children, and she knew that. She offered me a chance to reclaim the years stolen from me, to start over and reinvent myself. When the Mageri approved her request, it was up to me to decide. The decision wasn’t hard to make. I lost twenty years sitting in a room, and now I have the chance to live a thousand lifetimes. I won’t be powerless anymore.”
“So you turned your back on your Relic side?”
She lowered her gaze. “Yes.”
Niko seemed to understand that a Creator wouldn’t want their Learner using their Relic gifts. Gem had chosen to live her life as a Mage. A new name, new gifts, and a fresh start.
“I once did the same.” Niko scooted back to put more space between them. “Cyrus and the others used my gifts to their benefit. I’m a Thermal, so they kept me around to warm the tents on cold nights. The
y learned it was better to use my Healer abilities than to waste light on one another. It weakened me both physically and mentally. For years after I escaped them, I shunned my own gifts. I resented myself for helping them, so I thought I could live as a human again. You can’t run from who you are.”
Gem raked back her hair and heaved a sigh. “Sometimes it feels like I chose this life in vain. I wanted to become a Mage to reclaim my power, but now that I have all this power, I can’t even use it because it’s too dangerous. Ironic, isn’t it? So here I am, doing Relic work. Right back where I started.”
Gem scooted away from the headboard and fell onto her left side. The king-size bed provided plenty of room to move around. She tucked a pink pillow beneath her head. She hated dredging up the past. All those old emotions were bubbling to the surface, and she was struggling to shut them away before they crippled her. It wasn’t long ago that she’d considered paying a Sensor to strip away those emotions that blistered her soul like a pox. But fearing the unknown, Gem could never bring herself to do it.
Niko lay down facing her and propped his head in his hand. “There’s more to the story.”
“Alas, there’s always more to the story.” She tucked one hand beneath her pillow and gripped it with the other. “After my Creator died, I lived in that house alone. I suppose I thought I could stay there forever… until the food started running out. I didn’t have a job. I’d wasted thirty years going to parties and keeping her up to speed on modern language and fashion trends. The only person who ever cared about me was dead, and I was furious that I’d have to live out an eternity alone. The house was all I had left of her, and I wanted to keep it. So I went back to doing the only thing I knew: translating stolen documents for money. I knew a few names because when Bob talked on the phone, I listened. When the Mageri caught on to my crimes, they labeled me an outlaw and put out a warrant. You know what that means, right?”
“Wanted dead or alive.”
“When I fled, they seized the house and all her property. Margaret would have been so ashamed of me. Her things probably ended up in a place like Pawn of the Dead. Even worse, I ruined her good name. I was her only progeny, and people would always remember her for having a criminal Learner. What kind of legacy is that?” Tears dripped onto Gem’s pillowcase. “I didn’t deserve the gift she gave me. The gift of life. The gift of a second chance. So… I hired someone to kill me.”
Niko’s eyes widened in astonishment.
“That’s right,” she said, sick with shame. “I was too chicken to do it myself. I wasn’t sure how to take my own head off, but I suppose I could have set myself on fire.” She rolled onto her back and stared up at the lights. “You wouldn’t understand. I had to live in hiding. Once you’re a declared an outlaw, word spreads fast. Bounty hunters were after me, and I had no friends, no money, and no hope to plead my case to the Mageri. What little money I made from selling her jewelry, I gave to a man to take my life.” Gem shut her eyes. “And that man was Viktor.”
Niko sat up with a startled look. “You paid Viktor to take your life?”
“I heard he was a dangerous man. People were afraid of him. How was I supposed to know that he was a bounty hunter? I didn’t know anything about the crime world. We met in secret, and he wanted to know my story. He said he wouldn’t entertain my offer without knowing the reasons, and boy, did I tell him all the reasons. I stupidly gave my money to the wrong man.”
“Or the right man.”
Gem wiped her wet cheeks. She hadn’t really thought about it that way. Had Viktor been anyone else, she wouldn’t be having this conversation. “Viktor said he wanted to help me. Instead of turning me over to the Mageri, he took me to the higher authority to plead my case. Viktor had connections, as you can imagine. I’ve wondered if he might have been secretly doing contract work for them, and maybe that’s how he was able to start up this group so easily. Anyhow, he told them that he needed an assistant and I was exactly the right person. Can you imagine? Me.”
“A wise move. It’s often impossible to get a conviction overturned; the Mageri aren’t known for their leniency. Viktor is a persuasive man, and I’m sure he knew the right people to convince. Normally the higher authority lets the Mageri handle their own affairs. They only intervene when it involves another Breed or in the case of a high crime.”
“I guess since Viktor’s a Shifter, it counted.” She bent her knees and stared at the lights above. “You should have seen him fighting for me. I’ll never understand why he did it. We were strangers! And here this man was, fighting for my life. They were suspicious of his motives, but he convinced them that he was building a team that would protect and serve. I was the first of many more to come. His team would be devoted to capturing criminals and working closely with the higher authority. They agreed to remove the outlaw status from me under the condition that he stay true to his word.”
“And so Keystone was born.”
“Bingo.” She turned her head and looked up at him. “I’m not supposed to tell anyone, Niko. Even though I’ve been with Keystone for years, if the Mageri found out I paid someone to kill me, they would deem me unstable and put out my light.”
“I would never let that happen.” He placed his hand on her foot and gave it a light squeeze. “We all deserve redemption. I’m only grateful that the fates gave you a second chance. Grief and loneliness are a powerful force, one that many are unable to battle. Darkness always fades, but it’s not easy to see that when you’re lost in it.”
Gem stared up at the fairy lights. “It wasn’t the second chance that saved me from grief.”
“Then what was it?”
“Viktor cared. That’s all I really needed. I just wanted someone to care about me. I spent my whole childhood dreaming about friends and family, and the two people I truly cared for died. When I lost Hooper, I began wondering if I was cursed like King Midas. But no matter how much it hurts, I can’t shut people out of my life. That’s what I did after my Creator died, and I’m scared of making the same mistakes.”
Gem sat up and faced Niko. She searched his eyes, looking for signs of disappointment or disgust. But the only thing that resided in his ancient gaze was acceptance. A man as handsome as him, with such a golden heart and brave spirit, could snag any woman he desired. Now that he was free of the book, he didn’t have to live in hiding anymore. He didn’t need Keystone’s protection.
“Niko, are you going to leave Keystone?”
His eyebrows knitted. “Why would you ask me that?”
“I just figured since the book was gone…”
“My loyalty to Viktor runs deep. Unless he asks me to leave, this is where I belong.”
She took his hand and held it tightly. “Will you be my friend? A real friend? Even after Keystone splits apart and everyone goes their separate ways? I know it’s a lot to ask an immortal, especially since we could live for a million years, but will you? I promise in return that I’ll always be there for you. No strings attached.”
“Why is my friendship important to you?”
She let go of his hand. “I have no family and no Creator. I don’t want to live in this world alone. I want someone I can count on, and you’re the only person I can think of. I just need someone to be there for me. I adore Claude, but I’ll probably outlive him. And if he finds a mate and has a family, he won’t have time for a friend. You’ve never let me down. Not once. If you’re not up for it, I’ll understand.”
Niko reached out and touched her cheek. “You could ask so much more of me, and I would give it to you.” After a thoughtful pause, he answered. “I would be honored. I am curious to see what kind of woman you’ll one day become.”
“Hopefully better than the one I once was.”
“You’re only fifty, and that’s so very young for a Mage. These painful memories will soon be but a faint speck in your past. This I can promise you.” Niko’s fingers explored her cheeks, nose, and eyebrows. She let him feel her delicate bone structure, her he
art-shaped face, her mouth, even her long eyelashes.
Gem got butterflies. No one had ever examined her this closely. When she smiled beneath his fingertips, he smiled back.
Niko’s hand traveled down the length of her arm until he clasped her hand in his. “Gem Laroux, progeny of Margaret Laroux, I pledge you my eternal friendship. If you ever need me, for any reason, I’ll be there. No questions.”
She flew into his arms and squeezed his neck. “Thank you so much. It means the world to me, even if it doesn’t mean that much to you.”
He stroked her back. “Someday, little flower, you will know exactly how much it means to me.”
She tilted her head. “Gosh, your hair is so soft.”
Niko sat back and rocked with laughter.
Gem felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders. She’d never thought that confiding in someone could crush emotions like shame and guilt.
Niko rubbed his neck as if he’d pulled a muscle.
“Do you want a massage? I know a great technique using heavy stones,” she offered.
“I’ll pass… this time.”
“If I’m offering a massage, that’s all I’m offering. Now that I know about your convictions, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Rain check on the massage, okay? I give great rubdowns. Just ask Claude. He’s not the only one around here with magic fingers.”
Gem crawled to the top of the bed and drew back the covers before sliding her legs between the sheets. Niko lay beside her on top of the covers with an arm’s length of distance between them. He was always so respectful, but now she understood him better. Niko made her want to be the most authentic version of herself no matter what others thought. After having destroyed the book, Gem wanted to continue exploring her Mage abilities. She didn’t want to be afraid of them.
“Niko?”
“Yes?”
“Do you ever think about dying?”
“Not as often as I think about living.”