“I got carried away. I’m sorry. It didn’t mean anything.” Kissing Ryan had seemed normal. He was my first love, and a part of me would always love him, but I wasn’t in love with him. How did I say that to Mitchell without sounding like a bad movie script?
“It sounds to me like it meant quite a lot since you feel the need to confess it like I am a priest or something and not your boyfriend.”
“I made a stupid mistake. I’m sorry. I plan to apologize to Ryan too when I see him tomorrow.”
“When you see him?”
I looked up from my folded hands. “You can’t expect me not to have him to my house for Christmas when he doesn’t know anyone else here.”
Mitchell sighed. “Why would you apologize to him?”
“Because I don’t want him to get the wrong idea. I don’t want to lead him on.”
Mitchell said nothing.
“It’s like you and Hillary,” I said. “There will always be something there because you loved each other, but it doesn’t mean you want to be with her.”
He gripped his fork. “Don’t bring Hillary into this.”
“I have to mention her to prove a point. She is still in love with you. Ryan is still in love with me.” I rested my chin in my hand. “It’s just so complicated.”
Mitchell barked a laugh. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever met who found matters of the heart more complicated than murder.”
I looked up as he fished something out of his pocket. “Murder is complicated?” I asked.
He rolled his eyes. “I have your Christmas surprise.”
I swallowed hard. “Okay.”
He yanked a piece of greenery from his pocket.
I eyed the sad artificial piece of mistletoe. “It’s plastic.”
“It’ll do,” he said. Holding it over my head, he kissed me.
Chapter Thirty-five
“Merry Christmas!” my dad shouted from my bedroom doorway. “Get up! It’s time for presents.”
I covered my face with a pillow. I was still recovering from the events of Christmas Eve. I felt sick to my stomach every time I thought of it. Mitchell seemed okay by the time I left his house, but I had to talk some sense into Ryan. I couldn’t go on like this, even if it was only for three more days. I would lose my mind.
Ryan joined us midmorning, and we were sipping coffee and opening presents around my pink Christmas tree. I don’t know how it was possible, but the ornaments appeared even pinker in the daylight. However, I kept my internal commentary to myself because my mother seemed so pleased with her creation. What I was going to do with all the pink decorations after they all went back to Texas, I didn’t know.
After we opened presents, I stood up. “Ryan, do you want to go for a walk?”
My mother gripped my father’s hand and squeezed. I pretended not to see it.
Ryan put his coffee mug down. “Um, sure.” He smiled his killer smile. “Seems kind of strange to hear you ask it since I have been asking you that all week, but all right.”
I clipped on Oliver’s leash and headed out the door. I waited for Ryan on the sidewalk. “We can walk over to the courthouse. Oliver loves the open green there.” I laughed. “Though I guess, right now, it would be an open white.”
“I have been interested in seeing the courthouse closer up. It’s a nice old building.”
Mom pressed a hand to her face. “Go as long as you want. I’ll keep an eye on the turkey in the oven, and your father and I will be just fine here.” She sounded so hopeful, I hated to think how she would react when she found out what Ryan and I were really going to speak about.
Ryan, Oliver, and I reached the courthouse, and I unclipped Oliver’s leash. The Frenchie ran around the grounds in glee, enjoying his newfound freedom. The only thing that would make him happier was if Tux was there, but I wasn’t going to say that. It would remind Ryan of Mitchell, and this was hard enough without bringing up the sheriff.
I folded my arms. Snow began to fall. The Holmes County Courthouse looked like a postcard scene. Oliver sniffed a bush and knocked the snow from the branches onto this head.
“Maybe that’s the beginning of the big storm we are supposed to get,” I said. “I saw a winter-storm warning in the forecast for the coming week. I hope you will be able to make your flight back home okay.” It was easier to talk about the weather instead of what I had to say.
Ryan took my hand and knelt on the ground.
No, no, no, no. “What are you doing?” I yelped.
“Just look at me. Please.” He took a ring box out of his pocket. “Angela Braddock, I love you. I never stopped loving you. I made a mistake. Please forgive me and be my wife.” He opened the box in a practiced manner because this was not the first time that he had opened it.
I stared at the ring—my ring—in the same box he had given me more than two years ago. As the jilted bride, I had kept the ring, but I didn’t want to bring it with me to Ohio. I gave it to my mother and asked her to sell it and give the money to charity. Apparently, she hadn’t done that. “How did you get that?” Even as I asked the question, I knew the answer. My mother struck again.
“You are supposed to answer, not ask a question.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a handful of diners step out of the Double Dime Diner to watch, including Linda the waitress.
“Ryan, people are watching us.” I grabbed him by the shoulders, trying to pull him off the cold ground. “Stand up.”
“Not until you give me your answer.”
I lowered my voice. “You won’t want to hear my answer in such a public place.”
“Will you?” He looked up at me with so much hope.
I felt terrible, but my pity for him didn’t change my answer. “No, no, I won’t.”
He blinked.
“Please, Ryan, get up.”
He stumbled to his feet. There was a collective gasp from the spectators.
“We need to have a conversation. I need you to know why. I need the closure.”
“That’s just the problem, Angie. I don’t want it to be closure. I want it to be a new start.”
I stared into his eyes. They were so sincere; he was so sincere. “I can’t, Ryan. I want to stay here in Holmes County. My shop, friends, and life are all here now. I fit here. I care about you, but our time together has come and gone.” I curled his fingers over the ring box, and as I did, it snapped closed. “Go home, back to Texas. Find one of my mother’s beauty queens to marry. She will be much more suited for the job as a society wife than I ever had any hope to be.”
Tears gathered in Ryan’s eyes. “I don’t want a society wife. I want you.”
I started walking across the square. I couldn’t stand there with the diner patrons staring at me any longer. This conversation was a dead end. “Oliver, come!”
The Frenchie galloped toward me with a silly grin on his face. Even though he was born in the city, he liked Holmes County better than Dallas too. I snapped on his leash.
Ryan jogged after me and grabbed my arm. “It’s because of the sheriff, isn’t it? That’s the real reason.”
I nodded. “Yes, part of it has to do with Mitchell, but the larger part is me and this place. This is my home now. This is where I want to be. I feel connected to Rolling Brook and to the shop. I feel closer to my aunt here.”
His jaw twitched as he stepped away from me. “My life is in Dallas.”
“And it should be. You would never find the life you want here, just like I would never find the life I want there.”
“So it comes down to geography.”
I opened my mouth. “It’s more than that, but if you want to blame it on geography, you can.”
Ryan dropped his hand from my arm. “The sheriff’s such a nice guy; it’s hard for me to hate him.”
“That’s nice of you
to say.”
“When I kissed you yesterday, you felt something.” Ryan said. “Don’t lie to me and tell me that you didn’t.”
“Of course I felt something, Ryan. You were the first man I ever loved, and I will always love you, but I’m not in love with you. I would have been if we had gotten married, but you made a different choice.”
He tried to hand me the ring. “You are supposed to keep it since I left you before the wedding.”
I shook my head. “No. It’s yours now.”
Ryan swallowed and replaced the box in his pocket. “I’ll walk you home.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Please, Angie. This time I want to say good-bye to you in the right way. No running away.”
“Okay, you can walk me home.”
We were silent during the short walk. Ryan and I stood on the doorstep to my house. How many times when we were in college had we ended the night just like that? Maybe it was those sweet memories that made me do what I did next, or maybe it was just anxiety from trying to solve Eve’s murder. In any case, I leaned forward and kissed him. As I pulled away, I said, “Stay in touch.”
His lip tweaked up in a smile. “I’m sure your mother will make sure that I do. Tell your parents I will see them back in Dallas. I’ll fly back tomorrow.” He swallowed. “I think I just want to head back to the hotel.”
“I understand. I’ll tell them.”
He kissed my cheek and jogged to his rental car. I waited until his taillights were gone before I went inside the house.
“Where’s Ryan?” my mother asked. Her face was expectant and hopeful.
I removed Oliver’s boots. Dodger sat a few inches away from us. I could have just been a trick of the light coming off the pink tree, but I think the kitten was chuckling at Oliver’s boots.
The Frenchie grunted at his young charge. He must have thought the same.
“He went back to the hotel,” I said.
Mom’s mouth fell open. “What? But why? What about having Christmas dinner together as a family?”
“Our family is all right here.” I stood up. “Ryan’s flying home tomorrow.”
My mother jumped out of her seat. “What did you do?”
“Mom, please.”
“He asked you to marry him, didn’t he?” she asked.
I nodded.
“And you said no, didn’t you?”
I nodded again.
“How could you do that?” she cried.
“Daphne.” My father reached for his wife, but she was already in my face.
I stiffened. “That was nice of you to give the old ring to him. You could have warned me. You could have warned him that I would say no.”
“I would have, had I known that you already had a new boyfriend. How fickle you are.”
Her words came like a slap across the face. Tears sprang to my eyes.
“Daphne,” my father said.
My mother’s face crumbled. “Angie dear, I’m sorry. I should not have said that. I just want what’s best for you.” Tears streamed down her face. “That’s what any mother wants for her child.”
“I know that, Mom, but Ryan is not what’s best for me. Please just let it go.”
She frowned. “If my sister were here, she would know what to say to you. Eleanor was always so good at making the other person feel better.”
“Aunt Eleanor would know that I shouldn’t marry Ryan. Part of me thinks she knew it even when I was here in February, but I wouldn’t listen.”
Mom sat back down on the couch. “Eleanor was wise. I miss her wisdom.” She laughed. “She would be able to make us both feel better by the end of the conversation.”
Tears pricked my eyes. “She would.”
Mom sighed. “I have to admit, I was sometimes envious of my sister. Everyone loved her, and she always did the right thing. I didn’t know coming back here would bring back so many of those feelings.”
Dad leaned forward in his chair. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Daphne. Eleanor loved you.”
“I know, but I’m sorry about how I felt, even though Eleanor didn’t know it.” She gave Dad a small smile. “To be honest, I was happy when she met Jacob and joined the Amish Church. I thought I wouldn’t have to compete with her anymore. Angie, you wouldn’t understand since you never had a sister to compete with.”
“Mom—,” I started.
“But I do,” she said quietly. “Even now that she is gone. I still compete with her because my daughter would rather be here in Ohio with her aunt’s memory than with her living mother in Texas.”
I knelt by my mother’s chair. “Mom, my not wanting to marry Ryan is not a rejection of you or Dad or even the entire state of Texas. It just means I don’t love Ryan and want to live here. I love you and Dad; you’re my parents.”
Tears marred her makeup. “You do?”
I hugged her. “Of course I do.”
She wiped at her eyes. “I know I am overbearing and overprotective, but you are my only child.”
“I know.”
“This means only one thing.” She looked to my father.
He nodded.
I glanced from one to the other. “What? What does it mean?”
“We were going to tell you at dinner, but your father has been offered early retirement from his company.”
“Golden parachute, here I come,” Dad crowed.
“That’s great. The two of you deserve it.”
Mom nodded. “And since you won’t move back to Texas, we have decided that we are moving back to Holmes County to live closer to you.”
“Isn’t that great, Angie Bear?” Dad asked.
I stood up. “You’re what?”
“We’ll still keep our home in Dallas,” Dad said. “Or perhaps even downsize there. Your mother and I have agreed to spend the winters in Dallas and the rest of the year here in Ohio with you. Isn’t that wonderful?”
“Really?” I jumped up and gave my father a hug. “That is a wonderful Christmas present.”
He grinned. “I thought you might like it.” He lowered his voice. “We just have to find the perfect house for your mother. You know she is picky.”
“I heard that, Kent,” Mom said with laughter in her voice.
“Those drives that you have been going on?” I asked. “Were you going to look at houses?”
Dad nodded. “Guilty.”
“Wow! This is really great.”
Mom stood from her chair. “If you would excuse me, I’m going to go touch up my makeup.”
I sat in her chair in front of the pink tree, smiling. Sure, my mother drove me crazy, but to have her and Dad in Holmes County most of the year was a dream come true.
Something my mom said when she was speaking about Aunt Eleanor crossed my mind: “Angie, you wouldn’t understand since you never had a sister to compete with.” She was right. I didn’t know what it was like to compete with a more popular beloved sister, but Junie Shelter did. I sat straight up in the chair. Junie? Could I be right? Or could I ever be more wrong? I had to know. I jumped out of the chair, turned to my parents, and said, “I have to go.”
Dad blinked at me. “Where are you going?”
“To the hotel.” I pulled on my winter coat that I had just removed. “And it’s not to see Ryan. I want to talk to one of the maids.”
Mom reentered the room just then. “What are we supposed to tell the sheriff when he arrives?”
“I’ll call him on the way.”
Oliver followed me to the door with one of his boots in his mouth.
“Ollie, don’t you want to stay here with Grandma and Grandpa?” I asked.
He went and picked up a second boot with his teeth and dropped it on the floor at my feet. I took that as a no.
Chapter Thirty-six
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I parked in the closest spot I could find to the hotel and carried Oliver through the swirling snow to the hotel. The front edge of the promised winter storm was already hitting the county. A large black minivan was parked right in front of the hotel’s main doors. Blake stepped out of the hotel with a large crate filled with wires. Blake smiled at me as he loaded it into the back of the van with even more gear from the play.
“Are you packing up to leave?” I asked.
“Yep. I have to say I’m ready to go. The play can’t very well continue without a director or the leads.”
“Leads? What happened to the leads?” I asked.
“They took off. This morning Lena and Ruben were gone. The sheriff came by last night to ask them some more questions, and this morning they were gone.”
Mitchell had come back to ask about the letters; I just knew it. The trustees wouldn’t be happy about it when they heard the news. Head Trustee Cramer had better think of another way to raise money for that playground, because the progressive dinner and play idea was a bust.
“Have you seen Junie?” Blake asked. “I wanted to say good-bye to her.”
“You’re friends with Junie?”
“Yeah. She’s a cool girl. We’ve had a couple of good talks. Junie and I get each other. Neither of us wants to be in the spotlight, but we do want respect.”
Respect. That was a funny concept for an Amish person to fixate on.
“Did you have these talks at the hotel?”
“Sometimes, but most of the time, she came to see me when I was alone in the barn, working on the set. Jasper is not a hands-on stage manager. He had me do all the grunt work. She brought me snacks while I worked. I am going to miss the food. The food here is killer.”
I shivered when he said “killer” in reference to Junie. The wheels were spinning in my head faster and faster. “What did you talk about? I mean other than your mutual need for respect.”
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