by Sadie Moss
Luckily I’m a quick study, because I’m behind in this too. I’m good at choreography, but I’ve got so much catching up to do. Thank God for dance. It’s what’s given me my eye for detail in movement.
Not that any of this will really help in the end if my magic keeps being so weak. My spells hardly work, even with the charm I’m wearing. But what other solution is there?
I wish I could take videos of my professors, so I could practice the hand movements and make sure I’m doing them correctly, but that might be too suspicious. Instead, I use the diagrams from my class textbooks and look stuff up on MyTube, which is a lot like YouTube, just with a different name and a slightly different layout.
Sometimes it strikes me as a little unfair that instead of the Dull World having all the tech and the Hidden World having all the magic, people in this world basically get to have both.
I’m gazing intently at a video on the screen when my door swings open, and I give a little shriek of surprise as Theo saunters in.
“It’s almost midnight!” I hiss. “What the fuck!”
“Oh, perfect, just in time for a midnight tryst.” He grins wolfishly at me as he sits on the bed, peering over my shoulder. “What are you doing? Not watching porn, I hope. I’m right here to satisfy any needs you have.”
Goose bumps scatter across my skin at his proximity.
He’s sitting close to me on the bed, only a foot or so away, and wearing just his damn flannel pajama pants and not even a shirt. My heart is racing in my chest, and my palms are sweating a little, my throat dry. Theo is muscled, more so than I expected, although in a lean kind of way—all the muscles are practical, like he got them from doing an actual activity and not just lifting a million weights in the gym.
I changed out of the dress I wore to the bar long ago, so I’m just wearing my thin cotton nightgown, the one that doesn’t even come down past my thighs.
I feel exposed. Vulnerable. Like I don’t have enough layers of defense to hide my reaction to him. He has to have noticed the goose bumps, and the slight flush creeping up my chest.
Dammit. Why does he always put me so off-balance? Why does he try so hard to knock me off my axis?
I close down Roxie’s laptop and glare at him. “Do you seriously have nothing better to do than bother me?” I snap.
Maybe too much of my emotion shows in my voice, or maybe Theo’s just had a bad day and I didn’t realize it, because this time, instead of replying smoothly, he snaps right back at me.
“Maybe I don’t.”
That brings me up short. “What?”
He actually blushes slightly and looks away. “It’s lonely here. I don’t have anything better to do than bother you.” His voice is even quieter when he says the next words, like he doesn’t actually want to speak them out loud. “I don’t have anyone else.”
Oh.
I wrap my arms around my knees, hugging them to my chest. “You don’t? But you seem like the kind of person who would make friends easily.”
I have no clue what Roxie would do in this situation, but for once, I think worrying about what Roxie would do is a moot point. Theo has annoyed me plenty, but he’s never been mean to me. And he’s hurting. Something is bothering him. If I can help him in some way… I think that’s more important than being accurate to who Roxie is.
Besides. From what I can tell, Roxie could stand to show a little more empathy.
“Ah. You would think that, wouldn’t you?” Theo gives me a sardonic little smirk. “It’s all an act. Just as I suspect that underneath all your brashness and boldness, you’re not always as confident as you seem.”
“You don’t know that,” I reply. I don’t even know that—not about Roxie. I mean, I definitely feel unsure of myself a lot of the time. But does she?
“I think I do.” Theo sighs. “Tell me if this sounds familiar at all. Strict family, old money, rich and with a bloody ton of expectations they’re dumping on your shoulders?”
From what I know of Roxie, actually, that does fit.
I nod. “Yeah. That does sound a bit familiar.”
“You see?”
Theo falls back onto the bed, his arms up over his head. It puts his body even more on display and my mouth goes dry, but for once, I don’t think he’s doing it to be flirtatious.
“I was sent over here because it was the best,” he says, his gaze going a little out of focus as he gets lost in his thoughts. “I didn’t want to come. I’d never been out of Europe before. Even if you’re a few countries over, in Europe, it’s easy to get back home. An eight-hour drive or a four-hour train ride can take you through three countries, you know. Everything’s smaller over there.”
“Yeah. I get that.” I nod, turning a little to face him more fully but making sure to keep my nightgown from riding up.
One weird thing I discovered early on here is that most cities and towns seem to have different names than in the Dull World, while the countries and continents have the same names in both worlds. It’s bizarre, and it’s only made studying history even harder, since my brain is constantly having to sort out which version of these places I’m thinking of.
Theo sighs. “I am a friendly person. I was raised to be charming as hell when I want to be. But that doesn’t mean I have dozens of friends on this campus. I’m still adjusting in some ways. The differences between England and the United States aren’t massive, but there’s a whole different feel here, a whole different… atmosphere, if you know what I mean. It’s been a bit of a culture shock.”
Yeah, I know that feeling. Even if it’s not in exactly the same way.
“I feel the same way,” I confess, trying to stay vague even as I nod fervently. “I feel like I’m in over my head half the time. Like everyone around me already knows the answers to everything, and I barely even know what questions to ask.”
Theo turns his head to look at me directly, his eyes piercing me like always, but also unusually soft. “And here I thought you had it all, Miss Queen of Campus.”
“You’re not the only one who puts on an act, like you said.” I shrug. “I’m just… stumbling around in the dark, same as anyone. It feels like I have all of this pressure to be a certain way, to act and say and do exactly the right thing. I don’t know. Sometimes I just want to get out, to leave and never come back.”
I mean, I am going to leave and never come back, but Theo doesn’t know that. And when I do, hopefully it’ll be because Roxie is back in her rightful place, so nobody will ever be the wiser.
“Oh, man, do I get that.” Theo rolls over, propping himself up on one elbow. “We could run away together.” He winks at me, a bit of the usual flirtation returning.
“Oh? And what would we do?”
“Who knows?” He grins. “Travel the world. Be vagabonds.”
That makes me laugh. “Sounds terribly romantic and terribly impossible. Those things never go as well in real life as they do in the movies.”
Theo chuckles. “You’re right. But it’s fun to pretend for just a moment that it’s possible to just drop everything and vanish off the face of the map. Leave your family guessing what happened to you.”
The grin fades from my face like somebody wiped it away.
Fuck. My family’s probably guessing that right now. They must be worried sick—unless Roxie’s taken my place.
What is she doing up there, while pretending to be me? Is she treating my family right?
She better be, or I’ll kick her ass, parallel-universe-twins or no.
“Roxie?” Theo says, his voice soft, questioning.
I look up, and I realize he was probably waiting for me to say something, and here I was like an idiot just lost in my thoughts. “Oh, sorry.”
“You seem very… distracted lately.” He pauses, his mouth shifting like he’s rolling words around on his tongue before he says them out loud. “Listen, I know we’re not the best of friends or anything. I’ve been bloody annoying to you, especially this semester. But if you ev
er feel like you need someone to talk to… well, I’m here. I know what it’s like to have a lot of pressure from your family to be the best, and I hope you know that, if it all becomes too much, you’re allowed to take breaks. You’re allowed to take some room to breathe.”
I stare down at him, my gaze captured by his. There’s no hint of the teasing, flirtatious, taunting glimmer that usually shines in his eyes.
He looks completely serious. And his words were surprisingly sweet and insightful, not at all what I would’ve expected from him.
“Thank you,” I tell him, and I mean it.
Then I reach out and take his hand, following an impulse that I probably shouldn’t give in to but also can’t resist. I squeeze it once, gently, and then release it, sliding my hand back.
Theo looks at me for a long moment. “You know, I can’t puzzle you out.”
“Oh?” My heart skips a beat in my chest.
“You are the most frustrating woman I’ve ever met. But there’s more to you than I think you let most people see. It’s fascinating.”
He sits up, tilting his head a little as he studies me.
“You know that’s why I’m still attracted to you, right?” he asks, a hint of amusement in his voice. “I would’ve stopped long ago if you’d just been who I thought you were at first. This… over-confident, self-centered, spoiled brat. But—you’re not. You’re ruthless and ambitious and highly intelligent, but I never would’ve expected you to sit and listen to me like you have.”
“Thanks,” I manage. “There’s more to you than meets the eye too. I think I really underestimated you at first.”
Theo gives me a look that I might dare to call fond… and then he leans in, and before I can stop him, or myself, he kisses me.
It’s a surprisingly soft kiss, not what I would’ve expected from him at all. I lean into it, my breath catching in my lungs.
When he pulls away, his tongue darts out to sweep across his bottom lip. “You taste as sweet as I thought you would.”
I glare at him. “I’m not sweet.”
He grins back at me. “Mmm. Yes, you are, underneath all that prickliness. Like an adorable hedgehog.”
I shove against his chest in mock anger, but he captures my hands, pinning them to the warm planes of his pecs. His gray eyes darken as he leans in again, and this time, I know what’s coming, but I still don’t stop it—even though I should.
“So… very… sweet…”
His mouth presses against mine, and just like the time before, it starts out deceptively soft, a lure to draw me in. I can’t help but follow where he leads as the kiss draws me in deeper and deeper, until his tongue is sliding in and out of my mouth, plundering, taking, and I’m clutching at him and whimpering helplessly.
Theo hauls me onto his lap, and I squeak in surprise, wondering when he got his arms around me to do that. He settles me against him, and his body beneath mine feels so good. I shiver helplessly as he holds me in place, rocking his hips up into me, kissing my neck, my jaw, and then my mouth again. I feel helpless in the best way, holding on for dear life.
God, I want him.
I mean, that was pretty much my body’s immediate response to him the first day we met. Want.
But this feels different than that somehow. Listening to him talk tonight, getting a peek behind the mask of the carefree lothario that he always wears, has made me want him in a new way.
A way that’s a lot more dangerous than plain old lust.
I don’t know how long we kiss—long enough that I feel like a puddle, a complete mess, long enough that Theo’s hands are up my nightgown, warm and wide and spanning my back, long enough that I can feel his cock hard underneath me, making me shiver and gasp with each roll of his hips.
But then, just as there was no warning before it started, there’s no warning when it ends. Theo rolls me onto my back on the bed, and I think yes, yes, oh please, yes, but instead of pulling my nightgown off or running his hands over my body, he pulls away.
“A little something to tide us both over,” he murmurs, his voice rough but playful. He winks. “Dream of me, love.”
And then he’s gone.
I flop back onto the bed, pulling a pillow over my face to muffle my frustrated scream.
That motherfucking tease.
Chapter 15
Goddammit.
If Theo thinks he’s going to get anything out of me after that little stunt he pulled, he’s got another think coming.
He worked me up like someone slipped him the cheat codes to all my erogenous zones, got me so turned on I thought I was going to vibrate out of existence—and then he just left me here!
After an hour of tossing and turning in bed, cursing him under my breath, I finally cave and slip my hand down my panties, biting my pillow to muffle my noises as I work myself with my fingers, imagining it’s him.
That asshole.
But as if he senses that I’m going to be pissed—or maybe just as his way of trying to tease me even further—I barely see Theo for the next two weeks.
Not that I’ve got a ton of time to spare tracking him down. My grades are still a problem, and I’ve got to deal with those, not chase after some guy who turns me on and pisses me off in equal measure.
Oh, and speaking of guys who do that—Cross volunteers to help me with my spell casting.
He and I spend hours going over different hand gestures as he catches me up on some of the basics Roxie would’ve learned years ago. It’s insanely helpful, way better than watching MyTube videos, but I can’t help but feel a little guilty. I know Cross has his own studies to stay on top of; he and Roxie were neck-and-neck grade-wise.
When I mention that to him, he brushes it off, telling me that since “Roxie’s” grades have taken a sudden trip south, he doesn’t have to work as hard to stay at the top of his class.
I don’t make a big deal about it, since I know he likes to pretend he isn’t going out of his way to help me, even though he is and has, so much.
I start studying with Kasian too, because what other choice do I have? And that—well, that’s a whole other kettle of fish.
Because Kasian is possibly the sweetest person I’ve ever met.
He’s so serious and thoughtful, and he always seems to know just what to say to get me to relax. His smile is like pure sunshine, warm and radiant.
But he’s far from a pushover. He’s got this way of talking firmly that always sends a pleasant little shiver up my spine. There’s an air of authority about him that’s so calm, and I’m not sure if it comes from self-confidence or something else, but I know it makes me want to get to know him better.
It also makes me want to fuck him again, but—no, no, very bad idea.
At least Theo hasn’t done anything with Roxie, thank fuck. But Kasian has. And I’m positive if we have sex again, he’ll figure out I’m not who I say I am. It’s a miracle he hasn’t already.
I feel like shit for deceiving him though. He looks at me sometimes, when he thinks I can’t see, and the expression on his face takes my breath away.
But he’s not really seeing me. He’s seeing Roxie.
So I manage to keep my hands off him, and Kasian is true to his word and keeps his hands off me, and we actually study.
It helps.
My grades get a little better—in the history department anyway. Kasian doesn’t seem to question why I’m not remembering some pretty basic things. At our first study session, I told him about my accident, and I’ve kind of let him assume that my concussion might have messed things up despite the magical healing I received. Kasian’s patient with me, and now that I have him on my side, things are easier in Angelique’s class.
Magically though, things still aren’t going well. My hand gestures continue to improve, but my generator charm is pretty damn pitiful.
It’s not like I have any other options though. Doing weak, crappy magic is better than doing none at all.
I’m on my way back from a session
with Kasian, actually, when I find Theo lounging outside of my room.
Hoo boy.
“Come to apologize?” I ask, walking around him to open my door.
“Apologize for what? Giving you a good time?” Theo grins at me. “Or were all those pretty little noises coming out of your mouth just for show?”
“You know, where I come from, you don’t leave someone hanging like that.”
“I told you I was just giving you something to tide you over. Now that you’ve had a taste, maybe you’ll want the full meal.”
“I think I’m good.” I dump my backpack onto my desk, not surprised in the least when Theo follows me into my room.
“Oh, come on, think about it, love. Just you and me, a little peace and quiet, take the edge off….”
He’s being even more blatant now, but there’s not that same feeling of… joking to it. It’s like he’s serious. And the implication that it’s to help us relax, I feel like he really means that now.
“I have homework.” I point at my door. “Out.”
Theo rolls his eyes, but does as he’s told.
Except, he keeps coming back. He’s hitting on me even harder than before, with renewed energy, as if those two weeks where I didn’t see him were just giving him a chance to warm up all his ideas and figure out his next plan of attack.
And of course, a traitorous part of me wants to give in. Wants to say okay, let’s fuck, and have him take me out of my head, block out my panic and worry for a while, and make me scream his name.
But I already messed things up once by letting him kiss me like he did.
Ugh. Everything’s such a tangle in my head. It’s worse than the mess of Christmas lights Dad and I used to untangle every Christmas, struggling and swearing the entire time while Mom told us to watch our language.
By my sixth week in the Hidden World, my charm is starting to run out of power, so Cross and I have to take it back to the store to get it recharged.
I feel exhausted.
I want to just stop, I want to go home. What’s the point in all of this? I haven’t found any new information or gotten any closer to returning to the dimension where I belong.