“You seem like an honest young lady.”
“I try to be.”
“Tell me more about James. Does it bother him that I’m not around much?”
“Oh, wow.” I push the salt shaker to the side. This just got weird.
“I’m sorry to intrude, but I need to know if I’ve messed up.”
“James speaks about you a lot and admires you greatly, especially your military service.”
“But does he miss me?”
“Nothing replaces family.”
“Right.” He rubs his jaw. “Parenting is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, Edelweiss. And to raise a teenager alone, while in the military, requires more sacrifices than any child should have to give. I don’t want him to resent me.”
“James wants to make you proud.”
“That’s what scares me. He should already know I’m proud of him.”
“What are you two talking about?” James grins while he walks down the aisle toward our booth.
The colonel presses back from the table. “Her father makes a mean burger.”
I nod in agreement, clicking my thumb joint.
James slides in next to me and eyes my thumb popping with a smile. He folds my hand into his own, and the urge to pop the joint diminishes. “But I thought your father was vegan?”
The colonel laughs. “That’s exactly what makes it so mean.”
When we arrive back at Brockmore, the colonel invites me out to breakfast with them the next morning. “I’m going to have to pass. I have a group project meeting in the morning,” I explain.
In all honesty, I want them to have some time alone. They need it.
“Are you sure you want to skip out on breakfast tomorrow?” James asks after we climb out of the SUV and cross the road to the front of Brockmore Hall.
“I’m sure. It breaks our rules.”
“Right. One meal a day.”
“Better not to mess with what’s working.” I shift on the front steps, well aware that James plans to go back to spend the weekend with his father at the hotel. Suddenly it’s like I’m being dropped off from a date, with one of our fathers watching.
“He’s probably expecting me to kiss you.” James shifts in place. “A kiss on the cheek will probably do fine.”
My heart tickles at the thought. Maybe it’s the sugar from the malt or the fact that I can barely look at James without wishing I actually interested him, but something in me snaps. “Better make it a real one. If we want to sell this relationship to him, this is our last chance.”
“Right.” James steps forward and gently tucks a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. “Thank you for this, Edelweiss.” He leans in, and the kiss is soft and sweet, but within my chest fireworks are exploding.
“You okay?” he asks after he pulls away, noticing how I stumbled backward a step.
“Yeah.” A lump the size of a golf ball takes up residence in my throat. “I’m fine. Enjoy your night with your dad.”
“I’ll see you Monday morning?”
“There’s no chance I’ll be anywhere but here.”
He grins, leaning in and planting a kiss on my cheek before he bounds across the street to climb back into the black SUV. Everything in me trembles as I walk up the stairs into Brockmore Hall. All I want is another kiss, and knowing he won’t be sleeping under the same roof as me tonight makes me ache.
Oh my God. What have I done to myself?
I like James Parson. Every cell in my body electrifies when he’s near, and—both fortunately and unfortunately—he’s near me a lot.
Later that night, my phone vibrates. Tuti tosses it to me while she rehearses for her newest makeup YouTube tutorial.
We pulled it off! James texts. He thinks you’re great and wants me to stay at Brockmore!
Great news! I text back.
Can I call you? He’s out of the room right now.
Sure. I’ll call you once I’m in the clear.
“How long will you be gone?” Tuti asks while I open the door.
“I don’t know?”
“Could you wait at least twenty minutes so I can get this filmed?”
“Easily.”
“Do you mind if I show your side of the room?” She glances at the pile of outfits she’s tossed on her bed. “It’ll take me forever to clean this up and yours looks so fresh and cute. Perfect for YouTube.”
“Have at it. Text me when I can return.”
I wind my way through the dormitory, moving away from Emma’s cracked open door in case she decides to breathe fire, to an empty study room on the first floor.
James answers on the first ring. “Hello?”
“Hi. It’s Edelweiss.” There’s an awkward beat, and I can’t help but laugh.
“What?” he asks.
“I’ve never talked to a boy on the phone before.” Something else to check off my list.
“Really?” He laughs. “Is it okay if I say that’s adorable?”
“You can say it if you want to, but that doesn’t make it true.” More like pathetic. I take a seat at the desk and tug on my hair. “So, what’s up?”
“Well, I was thinking that, since we sold my dad on us, we should set a date so I can cut you free.”
“Oh.” The surprise in my voice cuts through the air.
“Not that this isn’t fun…”
“No, of course.” I dig my fingernail into the desk “Don’t worry. Yeah, that’s a good idea.”
“Nothing soon, of course. That’d be too suspicious.”
“Well, I’m open to any timeline.” Like one with no end date.
“How about in a couple of weeks? Maybe after the Ghoul Ball so we don’t have to try to figure out someone else to go with.”
I press my head against the wall and take a deep breath. All along I’ve known this was coming. I shouldn’t make it harder than it needs to be. “James, if you have someone else you’d want to bring as a date, we can break up sooner. I’d understand.”
“Nope. I’d be a horrible date that night anyway, because I’ll be too focused on pulling off the senior prank.”
“I thought you were done with pranks.”
“Oh, don’t worry. This one has Creighton’s stamp of approval. She just doesn’t know what she signed off on yet.”
“What is it?”
“I can’t say. You’re a junior. I’m sworn to secrecy.”
“Right.” Every sentence I hear from him seems to feel like he’s pushing me away. The longer we draw this out, the more it’s going to hurt. “So how about after the dance? If you plan to not pay attention to me, maybe that can trigger it?”
“Brilliant. We’ll have a little fight, and I promise I’ll make you look good. Edelweiss, you were brilliant tonight with my dad. Thank you.”
“No problem.” He may be able to make me look good, but walking away from James is going to hurt more than he’ll ever know. And I’ll never let him know, because that wasn’t part of the deal.
“I’ll see you Monday, then? Dad just walked in the room.”
“No problem. Go enjoy your time together.”
“I’ll see you Monday morning.” He hangs up before I can say good night. My throat feels raw. Relax. This is part of the plan.
A second later my phone chimes with a text from Mom. Peter just texted your father. Sounds like you and James are really hitting things off. So happy you are really living life baby!
A sinking feeling presses into my chest as I read the text. I hate lying to her, and obviously she’s thrilled about us.
James is right. A breakup date is a good thing, a nice little reminder that I need to keep myself in check, because the longer I’m close to him, the more I believe the way he looks at me is real.
Chapter Fourteen
James
Being away from Edelweiss for an entire weekend was torture, especially knowing I’ve set the day of our demise. I missed the smell of her shampoo and how her hand feels so right in my own.
; When the bell rings, I leap up and almost trip over my chair as I make for the door. The brisk air cuts into my cheek while I skip the sidewalks and dart across the lawn to the math building.
I see Edel’s signature light-blond hair before she sees me. Perfect. I step to the side of the hallway, wedging myself behind the girls’ gymnastics trophy case, and wait for her to pass. When she does, I reach out and grab her at the waist, spinning her around.
“James.” She giggles, pressing her hand to my chest. A group of students pause their conversation, watching us.
I scoop her close, and with my wink, she catches on. Her hand slides up my shoulder, and I can’t help but let my lips brush against hers. “Long time, no see,” I say. “I missed you.”
“I can see that.” She laughs, cocking her head to the side once people have moved on.
“In my defense, people would expect a kiss after we weren’t together for an entire weekend,” I whisper.
“I doubt they even noticed we weren’t together.”
I scrunch up my nose, remembering Proctor’s text from Saturday night. “Did Proctor sit next to you at dinner on Saturday?”
She nods. “With Tuti and Jordan, too. Oh, and Gavin. He showed up halfway through.”
Because I texted him to move in after Proctor texted me bragging about hitting on “my chick.”
“Trust me,” I chuckle and take her hand in mine. There, now this feels right. “They noticed.”
We wander through the hallway and out the door to the quad. A twenty-minute break between classes is not enough time to soak up the amount of Edelweiss I missed over the weekend.
“How are you?” I ask her once we’re outside and out of earshot.
She zips up her coat. “Good. You?”
I glance at the sophomore girls gathered at the bottom of the stairs. Once I let Edelweiss go, my entire year will be spent avoiding girls like them. “I’m good.”
She glances at the girls as well. “So how do we do this?”
“Do what?”
“Show the school we’re not a perfect couple anymore? We need to start distancing ourselves from each other if we’re breaking up on Halloween. It’s only a week and a half away. The way you just kissed me feels too much like a fairy tale.”
“Are you saying you want me to stand you up?”
“I don’t know. Maybe miss a few dinners? I could be a no-show at your game next week?”
The thought of not having her in the stands makes me shake my head before I can even think. I’m not as stressed out on the field with her up there. Her presence is a gentle reminder that there is more to life than football. Plus, it’s funny that she has no idea what I’m doing out there but claps anyways.
“No way. I need you there.”
“Why?”
“There’s something about you that makes me want to do my best, Edelweiss.” She opens her mouth, but before she can ask why, I interrupt her. “Let’s not mess with the game. I don’t want to let the team down.”
“Deal. How about you forget to eat dinner with me tonight?”
“And leave you sitting alone at our table?” I shake my head. “Not cool.”
She laughs. “James, once we break up, I imagine I’ll be eating dinner alone a lot.”
“It seems too brutal. How about we start smaller than me skipping out on dinner?” There’s something nice about sharing a meal with her, and there’s no way I’m letting that go when we have so few left.
“Like what?” Her phone vibrates, and as she answers the text, I can’t help but catch her grin.
“Who’s that?”
“Thomas, from history. He has to write a report on the Berlin Wall, and he keeps picking my brain about it because I’ve been there a few times.”
Knowing another guy is texting her feels like someone taking sandpaper to my skin. I take a step closer, hovering too close. Chill out, man. Even if she was your real girlfriend, it doesn’t mean you own her.
“You okay?” she asks as the five-minute warning bell chimes.
“Perfectly fine.” I nod to her phone, then give her the space she deserves. “Feel free to answer as we walk to class. Maybe that can be our small thing?”
“Not paying attention to each other while we’re together?” She scrunches up her nose.
“Well.” I pull out my phone while we walk across campus and shoot her a text.
Looking disinterested doesn’t mean we can’t talk.
She laughs. Now this I can handle, she texts back.
Want to have lunch on the front steps?
The skin near her eyes crinkles as she grins, and those solid blue eyes shine. That goes against our rules.
It’ll be worth it. Trust me.
Chapter Fifteen
Edelweiss
His shoulder brushes up against mine on our way down the hall while I balance my lunch tray.
“I’ve never seen my dad so at ease with any of my friends before. He’s usually uptight and pissy after hanging out with them. Especially Proctor. God, he hates him.” James leans against the large oak doors while I pass through.
“You introduced him to Proctor?”
James takes a seat on the top step. “Made that error a few years ago, and ever since he’s never exactly liked my choice of friends at Brockmore. But he wouldn’t stop talking about you this weekend. I think he’ll genuinely be upset when we break up.”
But it’s all an illusion. At least that’s what I keep telling myself even though everything about James’s kiss this morning in the hallway felt right. It felt real. It’d be foolish of me to act on it, though, not when we built the illusion together. If James felt the same way, he’d never be asking to break up so soon.
I tug at my navy-blue skirt while I take a seat next to him, trying to ignore the nagging sadness I’ve felt all weekend. Moments like these will be over soon. Exes don’t hang out and share lunch on the front steps. We’ll barely be together once everything plays out. But maybe he wants it that way? After seeing how he looked at those other girls across the quad, I won’t dare tell him how I really feel. He’s probably already moved on.
“My dad told me you two spoke about meeting in Germany. You must have really connected with him. He never speaks about his time in Germany. He voluntarily went to the U.S. base there when I was one. Took me along with a twenty-four-hour au pair.”
“Why did he go?”
“He was running away from reality. Mom’s death ruined him, and from what I’ve gathered, he made a lot of mistakes. A lot of drunk nights with a lot of women. It’s probably why it’s so important to him that I keep a steady girlfriend. He doesn’t want me to end up like him.”
The door behind us creaks open, and when I glance back, Ainsley’s standing there with her lunch tray. “You made it,” he says. “Edelweiss, I’d like you to meet my sister.”
Sister? A french fry falls from my mouth onto the concrete steps.
“Half sister,” she corrects with a grin, taking a seat next to me. “Edelweiss, this is my deepest secret. You have to promise not to tell anyone, especially the colonel.”
“Ainsley, you can call him your father, too. It doesn’t bother me.” James bites a baby carrot.
“He doesn’t even know I exist.”
“That’s your own doing. I was ready to tell him the moment the DNA tests came back positive.”
“I’m not ready to meet him yet.” Ainsley pulls out her blue e-cig pen.
James reaches out and takes it from her before she can pull in a vape. “Do you honestly think I’m going to let you smoke around me?”
She rolls her eyes, snatching it back and letting it rest between her lips. “Hush. It’s turned off. I like how it feels, that’s all.”
“How long have you guys known?” I ask once they’ve settled down.
“The summer after my freshman year we figured it out. James saw my potential in coding and recruited me to help with some of his pranks.”
“She’s the most bri
lliant hacker, Edel. She makes accessing the school’s systems a piece of cake.”
No wonder Ainsley was on her phone during the welcome banquet. She was the one controlling the TV screens!
Ainsley tucks her short, dark hair behind her ears. “Anyway, James was relentless about asking me about my life.”
“Hardest thing I ever accomplished. You were like a locked vault.”
“You would be too if you had my life, James Matthew.” Her words are gentle, but there’s an undertone that weighs heavily. Ainsley hides so much, and now I understand why. “Anyway, it turns out my mom lived near Fort Story in Virginia at the same time as Colonel Parson and James.”
“My mother had already passed away,” James adds. “My father did not cheat on my mom.”
Ainsley nods. “When I was twelve, I found pictures of my mom. She was at her best friend’s bachelorette party about ten months before I was born. There was one photo of her and a soldier. I knew the moment I saw his smile and his gray eyes that he was my father.”
“It took a week to convince her to show me the photo,” James adds. “Of course, once I saw the photo, I knew we needed real proof, so we sent in some DNA swabs.” He sighs. “And now I know why everyone complains about their younger sister.” James cracks a smile and leans back on the steps. “I sort of miss being an only child.”
Ainsley picks up a pebble, tossing it at James’s shoulder.
“Does Charlotte or Tuti know?”
“Nope. You’re the first.”
“Why me?”
Ainsley looks at James. “I’ve never seen him so happy before. You’re good for him, and I like you. If James trusts you, then I can, too. Plus, having someone to talk to about this would be helpful. Charlotte always tells me I’m too closed off.”
James nods. “An accurate assessment.”
“If I told Charlotte, she’d find the colonel’s phone number and tell him herself. She’s a little too bold to trust with this secret, but you seem like a friend who would understand and be patient and stuff.”
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