It Had to Be You

by Lizzy Charles

  “Whoa, girl.” Charlotte jumps out of the way just in time, and someone holds my hair back while the punch I drank at the dance decides to take an encore.

  “No more pictures. No more questions. Are we in agreement, girls?”

  Tuti smooths my hair back, and I can’t help but look to Ainsley. How I wish I could explain everything to her. We should have told her that we weren’t real. And now she truly believes her brother is an asshole. “Ainsley, I’ll be fine. Don’t believe that photo, okay?”

  “And she’s delusional.” Charlotte hands me a tissue for my mouth. “Honey, this has nothing to do with Ainsley.”

  Ainsley presses her lips together. “What happened, then?”

  “Oh my God.” Charlotte tosses a pillow at Ainsley. “If you aren’t going to comfort her, then go.”

  “Fine.” Ainsley shoves herself off Tuti’s bed and makes for the door.

  “What’s gotten into her?” she says.

  Charlotte sighs. “I think she’s always liked James. I swear I’ve seen them talking more than a few times. God.” She plops on Tuti’s bed. “How did I miss that?”

  Tuti seethes. “Charlotte. Is this really the right time for all this?”

  “Guys, forget her.” I sit up and hug my pillow to my chest. “She needs a little time. It’ll work out, I promise.”

  “Well, I doubt you’ll want any of this.” Charlotte looks to a bag on the floor. “When I saw the Instagram post, I may have flirted with one of the servers down there and convinced him to steal us a few pints of Ben and Jerry’s from the kitchen.”

  “Seriously?” Tuti squeaks, looking into the plastic bag. “Chocolate chip cookie dough!”

  “Have at it.” I curl up and press as deep into the mattress as I can manage. “My chest actually aches. How long does this last?”

  Charlotte sighs. “Unfortunately, none of us has ever been in love before. You’re sort of paving the way on this one. But we’ve watched enough Netflix to know we need ice cream.”

  Love?

  The word I’ve desperately pushed out of my mind since James first kissed me in the library snakes its way into the empty void in my chest.

  No. I can’t love him. A deep sense of betrayal is what’s ripping through me. How dare he take my heart and toss it on the dance floor with a label that makes me seem like the most pathetic girl in school?

  Chapter Twenty

  James

  “Tell me you didn’t!” Someone barrels into my shoulder the moment I step onto the quad the next morning.

  “What the hell?” I whip around, surprised to see Ainsley staring me down. Whoa. The girl hits better than some of our defenders. She holds up her phone, showing me the photo that haunted me all night.

  After Edelweiss left me on the patio, I nearly came undone. My lips were on fire, and my heart felt like it was trying to push its way out of my rib cage, yet I couldn’t walk. The lines of our plan and what played out blurred. Did she push me away as planned or did she push me because my last kiss got through to her, the desperation in my lips telling her how much I wanted to hold on to her? I was ready to tell her the breakup was off. With her in my arms and her lips on my mouth, I couldn’t put myself first. She drained my strength. I couldn’t send her off into a better life.

  Luckily, she was strong enough for both of us.

  Proctor saw it all. I knew he’d watch us out there because his eyes have been on Edelweiss from the start. When I walked back inside, the first question out of his mouth was when he could ask her out. It took every fiber in me not to knock him off his feet. Instead, the only thing I thought would distract him from Edelweiss poured out of my mouth. “What’s the point?” I’d said. “She won’t put out.”

  My biggest mistake. Even in trying to protect her, I failed her.

  Word spread fast, and then the night spun out of control. First Veronica, then Devonne, followed by Avery.

  The stench of their perfume suffocated me, screaming that they weren’t her.

  Ainsley clears her throat. “I always thought you were better than this, James Matthew.”

  “It’s not like that.”

  “Oh?” She shouts, throwing her jacket to the ground. Students pour out the back door for Saturday afternoon flag football.

  A small, soft giggle floats down the steps. “Oh, Jamie. Don’t tell us that Ainsley was your side piece.”

  “Emma, get a life.” I roll my eyes, watching her take a photo of us. “No one’s going to believe that.”

  She sputters. “Right? I know. Who would have thought that the big guy on campus would snuggle up with such a twat.”

  “Don’t you dare call her that,” I growl.

  Ainsley’s eyes narrow, and before I can flinch, she charges up the stairs and snags Emma by the hair, yanking her down.

  A second later, I’m crawling over people to protect Ainsley from Emma’s burning smack—one I know far too well. A whistle blows, and the crowd thins leaving me with a girl under each arm. Creighton bursts through the door. “You two.” She points to both Ainsley and me. “In my office, now.”

  “What about Emma?” I ask.

  “I’ll visit with her this evening. Until then she’ll be in her dorm room. Correct?” She looks to Emma who nods back, dropping her chin. “The show’s over, everyone.”

  Ten minutes later, Julie’s seated at one side of her oak desk, and Ainsley and I are on the other. “How long has this been going on?” She grabs her pen, glaring at me. “You promised me, James, that you would never touch my foster daughter.”

  Ainsley sighs. “Julie. It’s not his fault.”

  She laughs. “You expect me to believe that you hit on him? God.” She shakes her head slowly. “I thought when you both lived under my roof in the summer that you were just friends. How many times… Under my roof.” She shakes her head.

  “Julie, trust me on this one. You are completely off base,” I say.

  “James, I’m going to have to call your father. And Ainsley, I’m sorry, babe, but there’s no way I can hold this information back from the social worker.”

  “But he’s my brother!” Ainsley spits the words out before I even have time to grasp my chair.

  Oh shit.

  The silver pen that was between Julie’s fingers clinks on the table. “Excuse me?”

  We are all silent for a moment, and Ainsley looks absolutely frozen, so I scoot forward. “Ainsley.” I reach out, nudging her elbow. “Smile for her.”

  “How is that going to help?”

  “Just do it.”

  She rolls her eyes, smiling for Julie, and I scoot forward and do the same.

  Her eyes grow wide. “Oh my Lord. Did you…” She swallows.

  “DNA tests? Yup. The results are in my desk drawer.”

  “How did you figure it out?”

  “An old photo.”

  “No wonder you always found an excuse not to be around when Peter came to visit.” She tucks her pen into her mouth. Then her eyes grow wide. “Peter! He doesn’t know.”

  “Not yet, ma’am,” Ainsley says.

  “We are planning to tell him come the end of the year.”

  “Listen.” Julie leans forward. “This conversation never happened. Ever. Do you hear me? If the state knows you have a father, you’ll be yanked from under my roof and from Brockmore. You’ll have to go through processing. There will be court dates. Tuition costs. You need to think this through and time it properly.”

  “I know,” Ainsley says softly. “That’s why I don’t want to tell him yet.”

  “I graduate at the end of May. I’m sure Dad can stretch one more year of tuition. I have this all figured out.”

  “Honey.” Julie steps around her desk and pulls Ainsley into a hug. “I wish you would have told me.” A tear rolls down her cheek. “Wow. I was not expecting this.”

  “Me neither.” I glance at Ainsley. Only true terror would have made her spill that secret. A shiver runs down my back. She spent two years in the
foster system before landing at Brockmore. What happened to her there?

  “Okay.” Julie claps. “You two are having dinner at my house tonight. We have a lot more to talk about. And regarding your punishment.” She tosses her hands up in the air. “Ainsley, you will have detention on Saturday morning for pulling Emma’s hair. And James?”

  “I already spend every Saturday morning in the stables, Julie. The only night we don’t have practice is Wednesday, so can we do it then?”

  “No.” She lifts her hand to my cheek, her skin a slight shade darker than my own. This is what my mother’s skin looked like. Felt like. “You stood up for your sister, James Matthew. I could not be more proud.” She lands a soft kiss on my forehead before sending us both out of her office.

  Throughout the day, I search for Edelweiss. Well, at least she’ll know the new rumor about me and Ainsley is false.

  Six hours later, Ainsley and I crawl into the backseat of the car Julie sent for us. “Did you really dump Edelweiss because she wouldn’t have sex? Look me in the eyes as you answer me, James.”

  I do. “No,” I say firmly. “This has nothing to do with that.”

  “I knew it.” Ainsley grasps her bag on her lap. “Why did you really dump her?”

  I sigh, feeling my grip on sanity loosen from the exhaustion of the day weighing down on my chest. “I didn’t.”

  “She dumped you?”

  “Ainsley, we were never together.”

  “What?” Her eyebrow lifts.

  “It was all fake. A phony relationship to appease Dad so he wouldn’t yank me out of Brockmore, and it kept girls like Emma away from me for a while.”

  Her nose scrunches up. “He was going to take you out? Would he do that?”

  “He planned to enroll me in an online school so I could live with him on base. He was sick of my pranks.”

  The Uber driver hits a bump at the end of Brockmore’s drive, throttling us both upward and landing with a thump. We glance at each other, scrambling to buckle our safety belts. “So all this time you two have been playing along?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “Wait. You like her?”

  “Far too much for her own good.” I glance out the window. “Can we stop talking about this right now? It’s not worth it.”

  “James. I think you need to talk with Edelweiss.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you may find out she feels the same way.”

  “Ainsley, I was about to.” The pressure of Edel’s hands shoving me away still remains on my chest. “Trust me. Girls like her shouldn’t be with me.”

  “Yes, she should.” She nudges me with her knee. “Talk with her.”

  “No.” I grit my teeth, gazing out the window. “She’ll be happier this way. Trust me.”

  The night moves along like molasses. Ainsley hounds me about Edelweiss every time Julie leaves the room. So much so that there’s a flicker of hope in my chest that maybe, just maybe, Edel really is as miserable as I am.

  And hoping that probably makes me evil.

  Still, when we get back to Brockmore, we walk back up to the dorms, making sure to avoid the lounge, where Emma’s shrieking voice makes the hair on my neck stand on end. Once Ainsley goes into the girls’ side, I run back down the grand stairway and outside. Edel’s room is six windows down from the lounge. The lights are on, and the curtains are open.

  The stone’s frigid, but I scale the wall anyway. For the first time, I’m not terrified of the distance between my feet and the ground.

  As I climb, I make myself a deal. If she seems upset, I’ll knock and Romeo and Juliet the crap out of the situation.

  But if she’s not, then I’ll walk away forever.

  When I peer through the glass, my chest grows heavy. Charlotte is spinning her in the middle of the room with a blindfold on. On the wall there’s a giant picture of a guy wearing only football pads with blurred out junk. Is she seriously playing pin the dick on the jock?

  A bark of a laugh escapes my throat. Ainsley has never been so off. Edelweiss will be just fine without me.

  …

  On Monday morning, Edelweiss looks like nothing ever happened between us. Well, technically nothing did. Her uniform is wrinkle free, unlike mine. I tug at my white dress shirt, the front pocket all screwed up from accidently sleeping on top of it. It’s hard to give a shit about school when the only thing I looked forward to is now out of my grasp.

  Her blue eyes flicker to mine from across the banquet hall with a brief nod. Then she drops her head, moving to the table with her friends and Jordan. Keeping her distance, as planned.

  “Do you mind if I sit here?” A female voice intrudes from behind me.

  You knew this would be the consequence of letting Edelweiss go.

  I pull my eyes off my blond fairy, looking over my shoulder at the voice. Veronica cracks a smile, nudging the empty chair next to me with her toe. “Sure. Take a seat. I can always use a little company.”

  I wave down Mason, Proctor, and Pickles. There’s no way I’m going to be stuck here alone. When I wave to Gavin, he rolls his eyes, pointing at an empty table in the corner and his black songwriting journal. A moment after he sits down, I send him a text. Dude. Join me.

  My phone pings a second later. Can’t help when inspiration hits.

  What are you writing?

  A love song.

  You’re writing a love song? Where the hell did that inspiration come from?

  I’ve got a nice crash test dummy to watch.

  I flinch. There’s no way he knows.

  “James, I don’t think I have your number.” Veronica pulls out her phone. “Here, smile!” I lift my eyes long enough for her to snap a quick shot of us. “For your contact photo,” she explains before she types in my digits.

  A second later she does another shot via Snapchat, and in this one she’s bold enough to type “Future bae?” across the screen.

  “Emphasis on the question mark,” I mutter under my breath.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Nothing.” I try to take a bite of eggs, but they taste like rubber, and my coffee may as well be sewage.

  Dude. Your four o’clock, Gavin texts.

  When I turn to look, a sickening feeling swells within my chest. Proctor hovers over Edelweiss, and for the first time in Brockmore history, his shirt is actually tucked in. A second later, he grabs the chair at the adjacent table and pulls it up next to her, Charlotte wiggling her chair over to give him room.

  “Excuse me.” I push myself away from the table. “Can I borrow your seat?” I ask one of the freshman football players at the table beside Edelweiss’s. He jumps out of his chair to make room for me.

  Proctor will not get to Edel.

  “Hey, mind if I join you?” I bump the back of Jordan’s chair with mine.

  Jordan looks to Edelweiss, who is sitting so straight you’d think she was being interrogated. I raise my eyebrow at Jordan when she doesn’t respond. Help a guy out! “Sure,” he finally says, shifting out of the way.

  “Are you kidding me?” Tuti knocks Jordan on the back of the head.

  Proctor growls as I take my place next to Edelweiss. “Is there something you need?”

  “Actually, I have a question for you. Why’d you put that post on Instagram?”

  “The one of you nearly dry-humping Veronica?” He shifts an inch closer to Edelweiss, as if he valiantly wants to protect her.

  That’s when Edelweiss looks at me, and those eyes, those soulful blue eyes look deep into my own. “Did you really say that about me?”

  I take a deep breath, refusing to lie. She needs to know all of who I am if I’m ever going to be able to win her over. “Yes, it slipped out because I thought it’d keep guys like him away from you. And, Proctor, she dumped me.”

  Proctor laughs. “She dumped you? For what?”

  “None of your business.” Her words bite at the air. “I need to get to class.”

  She gets up, and immediately
I hop to my feet. “Can I walk you?”

  Edelweiss spins on her heels, ignoring me. Instead she rests her hand on Proctor’s shoulder. “John, if you sincerely need help with calc, meet me after lunch in the library.”

  His eyes widen, taunting me with his victory. “Thank you, Edelweiss. It’s ruining me.”

  “Okay.” She tosses on her coat and messenger bag, then heads toward the dining hall’s door.

  “You can’t get close to that guy,” I whisper while I follow her. “He’s wretched, Edelweiss.” When the door slams shut behind her, I reach out, gently touching her shoulder. “Come on.”

  “James, I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”

  “Proctor isn’t the type of guy you want. Don’t be with him to get back at me.”

  “Get back at you?” She tosses open the back door, and my gut sinks, realizing I forgot to open it for her. The sharp November air stings my skin. “I don’t want to get back at you, James. Telling Proctor that I wouldn’t put out sucked, but you did what you thought you had to do to protect your image. I understand exactly what I signed up for when I agreed to ‘date’ you.”

  “I didn’t do it to protect my image.” I growl, following her into the quad. “How can you offer to tutor him? He posted that shit!”

  “Tutoring someone in math is on my list.” She shakes her head. “As for him, he told me he posted that Instagram so I would know what type of guy you really are.”

  “So you believe him?”

  “Seriously? You aren’t allowed to ask me that question.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because…” Those bee-stung lips press together firmly. “Because you know me and you know how well I know you, which is exactly why you should have stayed away the moment you saw John sit next to me at the table. Do you think I’d fall for him? I’m just going to help him with a few math problems. I’ve corrected his papers in class. He’s a legit disaster.”

  “He won’t be interested in math.”

  “Then I’ll set him straight. Now, if you excuse me, I need to get to class.” She pushes past me, jogging up the stairs into the math building.