“Edelweiss?” I call up after her. “You’re right.”
“About what?”
“Everything.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Edelweiss
Everything? What the hell does that mean?
“And, time’s up.” Ms. Jennison’s voice yanks me out of my world.
Time? No. It can’t be! Only four of ten quiz questions are completed.
“Ms. Lee, that means pencils down.”
Shoot. My pencil drops to the desk. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Now hand your quiz to the person next to you.” I sigh, handing my exam over to Jordan.
He glances over my paper, lifting an eyebrow. “You can’t be serious?” he whispers, taking out his red pen. “Even I finished eight of them.”
Ten minutes later he hands back my paper, and I’m looking at my first F. Well, guess I can check that off my list now, too.
On my way out of class, my eyes automatically move to the back wall near the bulletin board where James used to wait to walk me to English class. My throat swells at his absence.
“Edelweiss.” Emma steps out from behind the door. “I’m sorry to hear about you and James.”
“What do you want, Emma?” My patience is gone, and I just don’t have it in me to deal with her right now.
“Nothing.” She runs her hands through those beautiful, beachy waves, glaring at my short bob.
“Then we’re done.” I peel myself off the wall.
“It’s really romantic, isn’t it, Edelweiss?”
“What is?”
“What James did last night?” She pulls out her phone, showing me a photo of James clinging to the stones of Brockmore outside of my window. When was he outside my window?
“It’d be a shame if this photo found its way into Headmistress Creighton’s hands.”
He would have told me before he made a climb like that. It’s not like using the ledge, which is dangerous enough. He would have given me a heads up if he was going to scale an entire wall, especially with his fear of heights. “You Photoshopped it. No one was outside my window last night.”
“In your room,” she corrects. “He was in your room.”
I can’t help but press my lips together at her daring implication. Obviously, she’s up to something. “Stop this. Do you want James kicked out of the school?”
She shrugs. “Maybe. He’s been a pretty shitty friend this year.”
“Friend?” I laugh. “You cheated on him. How is he supposed to act?”
“He knew what we were. Don’t tell me you think he was exclusive with me the whole time.” She rolls her eyes. “Come on, Edel. I know you’re naïve, but you’ve got to know the guy got around.”
“Don’t do this to him.”
“Well, you can save him if you want to.”
“Excuse me?”
“See Ms. Jennison’s desk? She keeps the midterm in her top drawer. Get me the test, and I won’t turn in the picture.”
“Are you kidding me?” I glance through the window of the classroom.
“Dead serious, otherwise I’m showing it to Creighton by sundown.”
As she saunters away from me, all I can see is the look of disappointment that will be on Colonel Parson’s face. There’s no way he can know. If Creighton finds out, James will be yanked from the school by tomorrow.
Blood flies through my veins as I glance back into the classroom to see Ms. Jennison sorting through the quizzes at the front podium. James may have hurt me, but that’s my fault for not guarding my heart. I can’t hold that against him. He was always honest with me. How can I find fault in him acting like the guy he always warned me he was?
But if I walk away from Emma, leaving that photo in her possession, I’d knowingly be ruining James’s life at Brockmore. Emma may be low enough to want that, but I’m the type of girl who rises up. She’s not getting to James. Not if I have anything to do with it.
“Ma’am?” I duck back into the classroom, my heart thrashing in my chest. This can be done with my bobby pin. Mom said she’d never regret teaching me to pick a lock, for my own safety, but I’m pretty sure she’ll be eating her words after this.
“Edelweiss, I’m glad you hung back.” Ms. Jennison pulls out my quiz. “What happened here?”
I sigh, leaning up against her desk, two feet away from the drawer. “I was distracted, Ms. Jennison.”
“I’ll say so. You’re ranked top in the class.”
“I know.” I look out the window, and the tears I need come easily. When I glance back at her, my cheeks are wet.
“Now, Edelweiss, I know this is your first failing grade, but I’m sure we can work through this with a little extra credit.”
“That’s not my problem.” I wipe away one of the tears. “James dumped me this weekend. He said he loved me, so I…” I shake my head, hoping she’ll put together a picture with James’s reputation that’ll support the tears.
“Oh, honey.” She reaches out, pulling me into a hug. “Come here.”
“Thanks.” I grab a tissue off her desk when she releases me, moving another foot closer to the drawer. “I can’t believe it. One second, I’m the only girl he sees, and then I thought… Well, and you know how it goes. God.” I scuff my heel on the floor, shifting a bit closer. “I’m such a fool. I thought he was different.”
“You’re not a fool. I’ve been with a selfish man before, too.”
“Yeah?” Time to take what I have and work with it.
I let my lower lip tremble and finally allow my lungs to react to the ache in my chest that’s been there since I left James out on the patio.
“Are you okay, honey?”
I grab her desk. “I don’t feel so well.” Then, I let my knees weaken a bit. “Haven’t eaten for a few days,” I explain.
“Oh dear. Here.” She plops me in her desk chair with a firm grip on my shoulders. “Stay seated, and I’ll be back with something from our lounge for you to eat. Don’t faint on me, Edelweiss. Promise me.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I sigh, leaning my head down between my legs. Only when I can’t hear her heals clicking on the tile anymore do I look up.
The room’s clear.
I yank out my bobby pin, and within twenty-two seconds I have the drawer open. I don’t dare take the exam, but my phone captures an image of each page. With a few flicks of my wrist, I relock the drawer. The lock looks flawless, not a scratch.
Too bad I didn’t write down breaking and entering on my list.
With the click-clack of heels, I drop my head back between my legs. A minute later, Ms. Jennison’s hand lands on my shoulder. “Here you go, dear. A little lemonade and a cookie should give you a boost.”
I take a little sip and the cool liquid both soothes and fills my stomach. Whoa. Have I really not eaten in the last forty-eight hours?
“There you go, dear.” She perches on her desk. “Is that better?”
“Yes, thank you. Between the breakup and the quiz, I must have pushed myself over the edge.” I stand, staggering a step before I right myself. Yikes. That wasn’t acting at all. The weight of the photos on my phone burns a hole in my hand.
“I’m sorry, Edelweiss. You know I can’t let you retake the quiz.”
“I wouldn’t dream of asking you such a thing, but thanks for the talk. It helped.”
“It did?” She pushes out her chest a bit, her wool cardigan catching on her broach. “Anytime you need to talk, come find me.”
“I will.”
“What’s your next class?” She stands up, grabbing a notepad.
“English.”
“Here you go.” She hands me an approved late slip. “You’ll need this.”
“Thanks.” I tuck the note into my pocket as the bell rings, and guilt strangles my breath as I do.
Three hours later, I catch Emma on her way to cheerleading practice. “What’s your number?” I ask.
“Why?”
“Because I have some photos for yo
u,” I growl. I flash the image of the paper, and her eyes pop wide.
“Oh my God! You actually did it.” She takes my cell phone, sending the images to her own number.
“Delete the photo of James.”
“My phone is in my room. It’s not allowed at practice.”
“You’re not going to delete it, are you?” I want to shove her up against a wall.
“Babe, I’d be a fool if I did. See.” She leans into me, whispering, “Now that I know your trigger, I own you.”
My heart slithers to the ground. How could I be so foolish? “Don’t do this, Emma.”
Emma giggles. “This will be so fun.” She glances back at Brockmore Hall. “How about you stop by my room tonight for your next assignment?”
“Not happening.” She will not own me.
“Then you can kiss James and Brockmore good-bye.”
Her words stop me in my tracks. Sure, watching James hit on other girls, like he did this morning at breakfast, will destroy me, but living at Brockmore without James? He’s what makes this place home to me. “I’ll stop by before curfew.”
Evil must sweat out of her pores.
…
One month of being at Emma’s beck and call has exhausted every bone in my body. No one knows, of course. It’s all done behind closed doors, internet ordering, and sneaking through the secret passageway James showed me the first day of school to the kitchen to get snacks after hours.
Still, my bones sigh as I lie down. How much longer can I keep this up?
“Absolutely perfect.” Tuti adjusts her new softbox toward the corner where she’s already draped a hippylike textile of colorful geometric designs as a backdrop for her next YouTube video. “What do you think?” Her fingers brush her lips as she studies the setting.
“I like it better than the gold sparkling one that you used before.”
She nods. “I’m trying to blend my makeup channel into more of a lifestyle vlog with a plant-based living bit. That’s hot right now.”
“I didn’t know you were vegan.”
She laughs. “I’m not, but I’ll become one if it’ll gain me another hundred thousand subscribers. Haven’t found anyone like me who’s dominated that niche. And I’ve got the advantage of the boarding school keyword to help with it.”
“Always the businesswoman. I can’t make fun of you for that.”
“Nope.” Tuti studies her latest eye shadow palette from Urban Decay. “I’m thinking I’ll use glimmer for my Winter Ball eye tutorial. Do you think I can pull it off?”
“With a champagne base? Absolutely.” I press myself to smile for her benefit. It’s taken work to hide all the dread that I’m constantly wrestling with, but it’s worth it to keep our room a place Tuti still wants to be. I bet it’d suck to have to share your room with someone who’s always miserable.
“Only one week. Did you get your dress yet?” Tuti blots a few different colors of lipstick on her plump lower lip, deciding on bold red.
“Not yet.” Not to mention a date. To avoid Proctor and Emma, I’ve had to become a recluse.
My phone dings from across the room, vibrating on my desk.
“Is that James again?”
“It’s probably my mom.”
“She texts a lot lately, doesn’t she? Thought she was more of a Skype woman.”
I trudge across the room with bricks in my feet, knowing it’ll be Emma, because it’s always Emma. My room is out of filtered water.
When I glance up, I catch sight of myself in Tuti’s mirror. Dark circles shadow my eyelids, and my eyes look dull. Serving Emma grates against my essence, but if fetching her a bottle of water or—hell—handing over my sports bra from my gym locker because she forgot hers for cheer practice will help keep James in Brockmore? Then I’ll do it. Over and over again.
Girls swarm James every evening in the dining hall, and it seems like every night he gazes at one like she is the most interesting girl in the world, but there’s always a moment where all of this is worth it. His eye will catch mine from across the room, tripling the size of my heart.
I open his last text, sent yesterday. Exes usually become friends after a month or two. So in two weeks, I’m walking you to class.
When I didn’t respond right away, he texted again. We need to catch up.
It took me two hours to figure out how to respond. I settled on a smiley face emoji. Seeing him is one thing, but if I open my mouth to speak, I’ll only be able to say the truth, and then he’ll never want to talk to me again.
I respond to Emma’s text. On it.
There’s a knock at our door a moment later. I toss off my blankets. Seriously? She came to my room! I yank open the door, biting my tongue. But instead of Emma, Ainsley and Charlotte barrel in. “Guys.” Ainsley flicks on the lights. “You need to see this.”
“What is it?” Tuti yawns, sitting up in bed.
“Look what I found online.” Ainsley opens her laptop, spinning it around. Seeing those images again feels like I swallowed a live fish. No! Emma posted the exam!
“That was our midterm exam, correct?” Charlotte asks.
“Oh my God.” Tuti crawls in closer to examine the screen. “It is.”
“And the time stamp of the image URL was the day before the test.” Charlotte ruffles her red hair. “I wish I’d found this sooner. I could’ve used the edge up.”
“And cheat? Umm, no.” Tuti nudges her. “Not on my watch.”
“How would someone have gotten this?”
Emma wants me to get expelled so badly she’s willing to take herself down with me. Something in my chest snaps like a thick rubber band. This voids every agreement I’ve had with her. In less than twenty-four hours, someone will be able to trace this all back to her, then back to me.
My parents taught me integrity—I may have forgotten it for a month to protect James—but I’m not going down this way. Sure, I’ll bend to keep James out of trouble, but this will certainly land me in expulsion territory. Does it matter though? I feel like I’m walking on eggshells here, and I hate having so many secrets from my friends. Confession will bring me freedom, even if it also means I pack my bags forever.
I slide off my bed and walk right out of the room. “Where are you going?” Tuti calls from behind.
“I’ve got something to do.” I clench my fist, banging on Emma’s door.
Tuti pops her head out of the door, watching. “Guys,” she calls back into the room. “Edelweiss has lost it. She’s at Emma’s door.”
“Can I help you?” Emma asks as she opens her door. Fluffy white slippers match her flowing nightgown.
“You sleep in a gown?”
She checks me out, her eyes lingering on my tattered T-shirt. “I treat myself right.”
“Can I come in?”
“No.”
“Okay then. Why’d you post the test?”
Charlotte’s gasp echoes off the walls.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Edelweiss.”
“Is that so?”
“Yup.” She leans against the doorframe. “Would you mind getting me a water? I’m so thirsty.”
“No.” I dig my toes into the carpet. “You posted the exam. That wasn’t part of the deal.”
Her chin tilts back, and her sinister giggle bubbles from her throat. “I make the rules, Edelweiss. Not you.”
“I’m done with you. Get your own water.” I turn my back to her and walk back to my room.
“Don’t you care about James anymore? I see how you look at him.”
“James?” I laugh. “James will be fine. Trust me.” I’ll make sure this doesn’t link back to him.
Emma crosses her arms. “What are you doing, Edel?”
“Something I should have been strong enough to do the moment you approached me in the math building.” I push past Ainsley, Charlotte, and Tuti. They follow me back into my room, and not surprisingly my phone is lighting up like a Christmas tree. Don’t you dare! She texts. I’ll
show the headmistress the pictures of James if you tell. Then you’ll both be expelled. Stealing an exam gets you a one-way ticket home from Brockmore. Say good-bye to high school, bitch.
“Edelweiss?” Tuti closes the door. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” Heat wraps its way around my chest, and I yank at my collar. Am I ready to be expelled? I grab my little notebook and flip to the things I need to experience before college—that is, if I can even get into college after this.
Screw up, big time.
Well, at least getting expelled will let me check that item off.
“Edelweiss.” Ainsley takes a seat on the floor near my bed. “Tell us.”
“Tell us what?” Charlotte takes a seat on my bed.
“Let us in. Whatever situation you are in, we can help.” Ainsley adds.
“I…” My breath trembles in my chest. “Ainsley, you’ll hate me if I tell the truth.”
“No, I won’t. I promise you.”
Tuti takes my hand. “You’re in trouble.”
“Big trouble.” I take a deep breath. “I’m the one who stole the test, for Emma.”
“You’re working for Emma?” Charlotte’s mouth hangs open.
“How did you get roped into that?” Tuti asks.
“Ainsley…” I drop my eyes to the floor. “James and I were never really dating. Our relationship was fake.” Charlotte gasps, and a moment later Tuti’s eyes drop to the floor. Only Ainsley’s eyes remain on me. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you guys.”
Tuti and Charlotte will forgive me. But Ainsley? How can she forgive me for lying to her when she trusted me with so much?
“It’s okay, Edel.” She squeezes my hand. “I already knew.”
“You did?” I say at the exact same time as Tuti.
“James told me the day after you broke up.” She picks at my comforter.
“Whoa.” Charlotte reaches over me and turns on my bedside lamp, shining it at me like a spotlight. “I’m sorry, you guys may be quick and all, but I need this to be slowed down. Ainsley, why are you talking to James in secret? Were those rumors about you and him true?”
“Eww. No.” Ainsley rolls her eyes.
“Start over then. I feel like I missed a few steps,” Charlotte demands.
So I do. I tell them everything I know—except for Ainsley’s secret—from the minute James ran me over with his motorbike. When I get to Emma’s blackmail, Ainsley is so mad that her fists are clenched and she’s pacing back and forth.
It Had to Be You Page 16