by Emma Darcy
“You see? I’m self-sufficient,” Nina declared triumphantly.
“Except for a man,” Sally muttered.
Nina glared at her.
Sally shrugged and flirted with her eyes at Jack. “Well, you must admit, Nina, he is superb lover material. Why not have him? You can always get rid of a husband if it doesn’t work out.”
“Excellent reasoning.” Jack leapt in eagerly. “If she’d just give me a chance—”
“I am not going to marry him,” Nina interrupted.
“There’s a lot of advantages to it, Nina,” Sally argued. “Where would I be without my husbands? I got a car out of the first, a house out of the second and the capital to set up the business from the third.”
Sally had it the wrong way round. Nina didn’t want a sales pitch directed at her, but Sally had the bit between the teeth and was in full spate.
“Husbands can be very handy. You have a built-in escort, sex on demand, someone to look after you if you get sloshed at a party, financial backing, the muscle to stand over tradesmen and make sure they do the job right, and in your case, a no-cost baby minder when you want a break from mothering.”
“That’s where it falls down,” Nina pounced. “Jack hates babies.”
“It’s different with my own kid,” he defended staunchly.
Nina swung on him. “What’s different about it? You think Charlotte won’t cry? That she won’t dirty her nappy and wake up in the middle of the night and take attention away from you?”
“I can adjust.”
“Ingrained attitudes do not disappear overnight, Jack Gulliver.”
A nurse came in and looked disapprovingly at the late visitors. “I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you people to leave. Hospital rules, you know.”
Sally hopped off the bed. “Sleep on it, Nina,” she advised, her eyebrows waggling suggestively. “It’s very easy to get a divorce these days.”
Jack rose reluctantly from his chair. “I’ll be back tomorrow, Nina,” he vowed, a challenge burning in his eyes. “I’m not going to be shut out again.”
Then he turned to look down at the baby in the bassinette, giving her a salute as he moved past. “Good night, kid. This is your dad talking, and don’t let your mum tell you any different.”
“Her name is Charlotte!” Nina shouted after him.
CHAPTER FIVE
THE roses arrived just before the midmorning feeding time. One of the nurses carried in the huge arrangement, grinning from ear to ear. “Three dozen!” she crowed, eyeing Nina with speculative interest. Being given so many was clearly a notable achievement.
“For me?” Nina asked doubtfully.
“It’s your name on the envelope,” came the ready assurance.
They could only be from Jack. Which meant he really would be coming back today, bringing with him all the conflicts she had tried to keep out of the life she had planned for Charlotte and herself. With her heart aflutter with apprehension and her mind clogged with a host of desires she shied away from examining, Nina cleared the top of her bedside cabinet before she was aware of what she was doing.
The nurse set the vase down just as Nina realised she should refuse the extravagant gift. It was weak to give Jack any positive signals. But the deep red buds had a glorious scent, and they were so heart-liftingly beautiful, it seemed unnecessarily churlish to direct them elsewhere. It wouldn’t make any difference in the long run, she argued to herself. The roses would die, just as Jack’s interest in wooing her would die when the crunch of actually having to deal with a baby came.
Having spent a restless night brooding over Jack’s reappearance in her life, Nina remained unpersuaded there was any real hope of a happy future with him. All she could see ahead of them were endless disputes, damaging to everyone, especially Charlotte.
Recollections of her own childhood were still painfully vivid. Her parents had finally separated when she was ten, and she’d been shunted off to live with her grandmother, who was prepared to shoulder the burden. Despite being tolerated, rather than loved, by her grandmother, Nina had found it an enormous relief simply no longer being a bone of continual contention between her parents.
The nurse unpinned the envelope and gave it to her, still grinning. “Red roses for love. Some guy wants to make an impression.”
“He already has,” Nina muttered darkly, and Jack had a lot of winning over to do before she’d change her mind about his fitness to be a father. “Thanks for bringing them in.”
“My pleasure.”
Nina opened the envelope and withdrew the card. It read, “For the woman who’s given me more than anyone else in the world—Love, Jack.”
A lump filled her throat. She had to swallow hard to ease the constriction. The truth of it was Jack had given her more than any man she had ever met, but that did not make him right for Charlotte. Clinging to the conviction he could not be trusted to love their daughter as she should be loved, Nina opened the top drawer of her cabinet and dropped the card in, denying herself the indulgence of reading it over and over again, making more of it than it meant.
“Looks like your Jack is making up for lost time.”
The optimistic comment from Rhonda, one of her room-mates, struck a sensitive chord. Had she done wrong in denying Jack knowledge of her pregnancy? At the time she had imagined a horrified reaction from him. She had believed he would suggest an abortion and do his utmost to harass her into it. Maybe she had done him an injustice.
Nevertheless, the situation last night had been a very different one. A baby who was already born could not be as easily dismissed as an unseen fetus. It was a reality, a living, breathing human being, who was definitely a little person in her own right, one who couldn’t be ignored or discarded as of no account.
Jack might want to diminish her importance, but no way was Nina going to let him relegate Charlotte to some distant place in their lives. Calling her the kid was so offensively impersonal. Nina still burned at the offhand attitude it typified. And corrupting their daughter’s name to Charlie…No doubt if he had to have a child, he would have preferred a boy.
“Three dozen hothouse roses don’t come cheaply,” came the knowing remark from Kim, her other room-mate.
“He can afford them. It’s not money that worries him,” Nina said dryly, niggled by the unsubtle approbation both women had displayed towards Jack since his dramatic appearance on the scene last night. They couldn’t seem to comprehend her reservations about accepting his volte-face on wanting a child in his life.
They were younger than Nina, and the course of their lives had run with conventional smoothness so far. They had every reason to cling to their romantic illusions, not having run into any serious snags themselves.
Kim, at twenty-three, was a rather plump but pretty blonde who’d married the guy she fell in love with at high school. The only career she wanted was being his wife and the mother of his children. Her husband had a permanent job on the railway, and she felt absolutely secure.
Rhonda, at twenty-five, was more sophisticated, a professional hairdresser who intended to keep working until she and her husband had their house paid off. He was a sales representative of a major food company, and their goals had been meticulously planned—their wedding, the baby, the house, their car traded in for a family station wagon.
Rhonda’s catalogued milestones had driven Nina to reflect that none of her own goals had been achieved. She’d worked her way through design school, dreaming of making a name for herself in the fashion industry. Clinching an apprenticeship with a successful designer had seemed a helpful step, yet it had very quickly punched home to her that she’d never have the capital to launch her own brand name in such a highly competitive field. The closest she’d got to establishing her own business was this partnership with Sally.
As for her love-life, there had been no-one of any deep significance until Jack. She’d been twenty-eight at the time of meeting him, Jack thirty-two, and it truly seemed as though Mr. Right had
finally come along. The shock had been totally shattering when he’d revealed how anti babies and children he was. Even if she hadn’t been pregnant, it would have made her think twice about continuing their relationship.
Charlotte stirred, giving one of her little mewing cries. Nina swooped on the bassinette, eager to pick up her beautiful baby daughter and cradle her in her arms. She was so tiny and perfect, like a miracle, and Nina still marvelled at the way she latched instantly onto a nipple and sucked.
Having stacked the pillows on the bed for a comfortable position, Nina settled back against them, unbuttoned her nightie and smilingly watched her daughter home in on what she wanted. A rush of deep maternal love reassured Nina of the decisions she had made, despite the situation with Jack.
Although she had never felt a pressing need to have a baby, it had always seemed to her a natural thing to do somewhere along her lifeline. She would have wanted the choice to have a child and would have felt cheated as a woman to be denied it. Maybe it was some subconscious response to not having been wanted herself, but from the moment Nina had learnt she was pregnant, however unplanned it was, all her protective instincts had been aroused. This baby would be wanted and loved and cherished.
She might have been a failure as a daughter, a failure at making a name for herself with her own fashion label, a failure at picking the right man to love, but she was not going to be a failure as a mother. On that Nina was fiercely resolved.
“If your Jack doesn’t worry about money he must have a great job,” Rhonda remarked, obviously interested in the financial angle. She had a budget worked out for everything.
“He runs his own business,” Nina explained.
“Doing what?” Kim pumped.
Nina sighed and gave in to their natural curiosity. “Mostly French polishing. He restores antiques and makes cabinets and other bits and pieces. He’s very good at it.”
A perfectionist, she thought. Like her with her sewing and dress designs. They both enjoyed making something beautiful. Their mutual understanding of the pleasure and satisfaction in creativity was one of the shared bonds that had made their relationship so good.
She wished she could believe in Jack’s turnaround. Maybe she should risk the hurt of giving him a chance. If he persisted. The roses were a heady reminder of Jack’s sensuality. A convulsive little shiver ran over her skin. She had missed the enthralling intimacy of his lovemaking. Sally had a point there. The nights were very lonely by herself.
“I wish my husband was a handy man,” Rhonda said ruefully. “He can’t even change a tap washer.”
“You can always get in a plumber. You can’t hire a doting and devoted father,” Nina pointed out, reminding herself to be very, very wary of where she was heading with Jack, if indeed she was heading anywhere. There would inevitably be a lot of interrupted nights with Charlotte. Jack’s groaning and grumbling wouldn’t exactly be music to her ears.
“Give him time to feel like a father,” Kim advised. “Does Charlotte favour him in looks?”
“Not particularly.”
She looked at their daughter. Her fair hair probably came from him. Not that Jack was fair now, but he must have been when he was a boy. Nina remembered her mother saying she was born with black hair, so Charlotte didn’t take after her in that respect. In any event, Nina was certain Jack hadn’t examined Charlotte for likenesses. She was just the kid to him.
“Well, whether she looks like him or not, babies have a way of winding themselves around fathers’ hearts,” Rhonda declared, unable to imagine any other outcome. “He wouldn’t want to marry you if he didn’t want her.”
The marriage offer had certainly come as a surprise. Probably a conditioned response to the situation, Nina had reasoned, guilt leading to a burst of doing the right thing by her. Given time, Jack would undoubtedly rue the impulsive idea.
“It won’t last,” Nina said, casting a quelling look at Jack’s well-meaning supporters and determinedly dampening the little hope that kept squiggling through her.
Rhonda couldn’t resist a last word. “Look at it this way. If he’s got plenty of money, you could always hire a nanny to take the hassle out of looking after the baby.”
A nanny for a kid. Rhonda had hit the nail on the head with that one, Nina thought. It probably would be Jack’s solution to avoiding having anything to do with Charlotte. Well, he could think again if he was planning to separate her from her baby so he could have their twosome back without the hassle of being involved in parenting.
Charlotte hiccupped. Nina hoisted her up and gently rubbed her back to bring up wind. No nanny could feed her baby as she could. Jack had better appreciate her position on mothering—and fathering—if he really wanted to consider marriage. It was a family package deal or nothing, as far as Nina was concerned.
If Jack came today—she glanced at the roses. When he came today, she needed to get a few things straightened out. He’d better come today if he wanted to show good faith. Sally was taking her home tonight. Nina had no intention of waiting around with Charlotte, hanging onto a hope that might not materialise.
Charlotte burped, then started snuffling around Nina’s shoulder for more milk. Nina lowered her onto her other breast and settled back contentedly to let her baby have her fill.
If Jack Gulliver thought he could walk into their lives and take over as he pleased, he was in for a big surprise.
Two hours later he breezed into the ward, radiating goodwill and bearing more gifts. Nina felt her pulse quicken. He had always excited her. She found herself cravenly wishing she’d put on make-up and a sexier nightie than the practical cotton one with the convenient buttons for breastfeeding. Which was absurd in the circumstances.
“I beat the lunch trolley,” he said, grinning triumphantly as he set his parcels down on her mobile tray and started removing their contents. “I brought you a chocolate thick shake from McDonald’s, that terrine you love—the one with bacon and chicken and pistachio nuts in it—from David Jones’s food hall, your favourite Caesar salad, and fresh strawberries and cream to finish up. Enjoy,” he commanded, positioning the newly laden tray across the bed for easy accessibility.
She stared at him in amazement, not only that he’d remembered what she liked but had actually gone to the trouble of getting it for her. “The hospital does feed me, you know,” she said, struggling against the seduction of being pampered.
“You need appetite tempters, not mass-produced stuff,” he argued earnestly. “And none of this will upset the baby. I checked. So you can eat with a clear conscience.”
He looked so confident, brimming with bonhomie, his green eyes aglow with a gusto for life. It wasn’t fair that he still had the power to dazzle her with his vitality, to ignite a flood of desire with his sizzling sex appeal. It was imperative she keep her head clear and her heart guarded. His words finally filtered through the attraction zone she had to disregard.
“You checked what would upset the baby?” she asked incredulously.
“No excuses for not eating, Nina. You look thin and run-down, and that’s not a good state to be in. You need a full store of energy to cope with a new baby.”
He was sounding off like an authority, and being altogether too virtuous for someone who wanted nothing to do with babies. “Since when did you become an expert on these matters?” she asked suspiciously.
“Made a few phone calls last night for some first-hand advice.” He grinned again. “I’ve got plenty of friends ready, willing and able to hand it out.”
Determinedly cheerful in the face of disaster, Nina thought, though she had to concede he had made it through about sixteen hours without backing off and he was putting in considerable effort at this point. It won’t last, she repeated to herself, but Sally’s sales pitch swirled through her mind, whispering she might as well make the most of it while it did. The terrine was definitely a slice of gourmet heaven.
“Thank you, Jack,” she said sincerely. “This is very kind and thoughtful o
f you.”
“You’re welcome. Go ahead and eat,” he urged.
The hospital lunch trolley was wheeled in, and Jack waved it on to Kim and Rhonda. They were served with trays of what they had ordered, and Nina hoped they would be somewhat distracted from being interested spectators to the latest development between her and Jack.
She broke open the packet of crackers that accompanied the terrine and helped herself to a generous slice of the tasty delicacy, highly conscious of Jack watching her, exuding intense satisfaction. It was probably a big mistake accepting anything from him, encouraging him to stick around, Nina thought. It would end badly. But right at this moment, however wrong it was, it felt good having Jack here with her.
He stepped to the bassinette and looked at Charlotte, who was sleeping peacefully. This happy state did not test Jack’s paternal staying power. It positively increased his cheerfulness.
“Hi, kid. This is your dad speaking,” he said, blithely confident of no reply. “I’m looking after your mum now, so there’s nothing for you to worry about. You can dream blissful dreams of plenty.”
The terrine was delicious. Nina had to acknowledge Jack had the capacity to be a good provider. And he couldn’t blame Charlotte for messing up his chosen career, because that was solidly established. Apart from his earning power, he’d never been in financial difficulties, anyway. His parents had both been in the law profession, wealthy people who’d left a considerable estate to their only child when they died, both of them from heart attacks in their early sixties.
“Worked themselves to death,” Jack had remarked offhandedly, and Nina had received the strong impression there had been no great love lost between him and his parents.
Yet he must have been a wanted child. His mother had chosen to have him in her late thirties. Nina figured his parents had probably been disappointed and alienated from Jack when he’d chosen to do manual work rather than follow them into their highbrow profession.
In any event, Jack had no money problems.