He’d played sports with other athletes who ached to be stars and craved the spotlight of media attention. They’d have crawled on their hands and knees to be interviewed by reporters but the media chased after him, who did everything he could to avoid them. Things flowed to him that he didn’t give a fuck about like winning poetry prizes or being published in the JM while there were others who would have been ecstatic to have those things and never got them.
And now, he was being called a movie star, although it wasn’t anything he’d ever wanted or needed, not like Ree had needed it. She was one who had broken that barrier, forcing life to hand over something she was determined to have, and she’d done it through sheer guts and will. He admired her for that, being able to get herself out of a terrible situation and into one where she had enough power to control her own life. She saw all the media bullshit as a debt she owed the people who put her where she was, her fans. She loved them and was immensely grateful to them. He didn’t feel that way. He didn’t give a damn whether he had a fan or not because he wasn’t dependent on them for anything he cared about.
Fortunately, there was a large gate at the head of the Heron Point driveway. It had almost never been closed before but he had it closed now and he was letting Hawk run loose so if some enterprising reporter or camera person did make it over the fence or up to the house via the dock, they were taking a chance on suffering some rather significant injury.
~ ~ ~
CHAPTER 12
Rhiannon came to Heron Point and spent a couple of weeks with him at Christmas. She fell crazily in love with the house and the family. She hung on Renny’s every word about Vincennes history, studying every item in his study, wanting to know the stories behind the heirloom furniture and the model train and the dueling pistols and the civil war letters. She pored over the family tree and asked him to explain as much as he knew about each name listed. Renny enjoyed talking to someone who was so interested since his own kids had always pretty well taken their heritage for granted.
She spent hours with Magdelene, wanting to know about her and Renny’s love affair and what it was like to spend your whole life loving someone and knowing they loved you back and to be brought here to this wonderful place as a young bride and how it was for her when her kids were young and at home. Magdelene told her that from the first day she met Renny, she thought he was the perfect man and almost 40 years, nine kids and, she’d have to stop to think to remember how many grandkids later, she still thought so. Getting to know Rafe’s father, Ree could definitely understand how Magdelene would feel that way. It seemed to her that if you were under Renny’s protection, nothing bad would ever be allowed to happen to you.
Rhiannon was fascinated by the open oak stairway with all the family pictures lining the wall going up the steps. She made Rafe tell who each of the brothers and sisters were and who they were married to and how many children they had and what they were doing with their lives now (although she did notice the pictures kind of petered out when they got to Rafe and Lane).
He took her out on the boats, the sailboat and the speed boat and even the little pirogue in which they could investigate the swampy side streams of the bay which he knew like the back of his hand (fortunately, it was an especially warm winter). He taught her to ride the horses, something she’d never done, and he took her up to the cabin, explaining jokingly about how it had been the Vincennes sexual rendezvous point, first for their parents, and then for each of the kids in their turn. They made love in the bedroom so she could say she’d done it there too. She adored Hawk and Shasta. She’d never had a pet of her own. He took her into Benedict, where he knew everyone and everyone knew him, and they seemed suitably impressed although not surprised that Rafe had ended up with a woman like Rhiannon.
She threw herself into helping Magdelene decorate, excitedly showing Rafe how she’d learned to make the big, plaid bows for the stairway swags, and to wrap gifts as beautifully as Magdelene so each one looked like something you’d see in a department store window. She helped set out pots and pots of poinsettias and to decide where each elaborate flower arrangement should go and to hang the socks on the mantel. She was awed when Renny had the workmen bring the manger scene out of the garage and she went nuts over the huge tree when it was delivered.
She was even more thrilled when all the family vehicles started coming down the driveway to unload kids and luggage and packages to put under the tree and when the long dining room table was filled to overflowing with talking, laughing Vincennes. All except Laney, who’d decided to go to London this year with her best college chum, giving up even her $1,000 check.
“Is it because of me, Rafe?” she asked.
“Yes, Honey, I expect it probably is.”
He thought she was a completely different person here, more Pearl Ann Mosier than Rhiannon. Her West Virginia roots of extreme poverty and lovelessness showed in her naked longing to be part of Heron Point and the Vincennes. He thought it was sort of sweet but sad to watch. They all loved her because she so obviously loved them. She hardly sat down until she had a baby on her lap. He smiled to himself. If anything, most of them probably thought he didn’t deserve anyone as special as Rhiannon.
The family was a little taken aback by the helicoptors that flew over the chateau and the satellite trucks that lined the roadway and the reporters who crowded around any time anyone entered or left, hoping for a picture or a few words from Rafe or Rhiannon or even better, both of them together.
“I’ve got to go see them and talk to them a little.”
“I guess you want me to go too.”
“I’d like for you to but I know you hate it, so I’m not asking.”
“No, it’s all right.”
“If you’re going to do it, Rafe, put yourself out to charm them.”
“Don’t worry, Ree. I will.”
So she took her hair down out of its pony tail and used the curling iron to produce her trademark tangle of sable curls. She expertly applied make up so her smoky eyes were shadowed in dove gray and her full lips were sensuously mauve. She changed out of her holey jeans and sweatshirt and into gray suede pants, a silky silver blouse, knee-high, high-heeled gray leather boots and a silver fox fur jacket. And the family was fascinated by the metamorphosis from Rhiannon the regular person to Rhiannon the self-assured movie star.
They walked to the end of the locust-lined lane to give the media the attention they craved. Rafe was friendly and funny and open. And she was was smiling and cooperative and flirtatious.
“Do you love him, Rhiannon?” one of them called out.
“I love him with all my heart,” she said, taking his hand.
“And how about you, Rafe?”
“The same. I feel the same.”
“When do you start your next movie?”
“No more movies for me,” he told them, “I’m a race car driver, not an actor.”
“Will you try to convince him to change his mind, Rhiannon?”
“I might try if the perfect part comes along.”
“Will you let her talk you into it, Rafe?”
His smile went flashing across his face. “Maybe…if she makes me an offer I can’t refuse.”
Thus leaving them with the hope that another Rhiannon and Rafe film might be forthcoming in the future.
*
“I’d like to stay here always, Rafe. This place seems so warm and secure and beautiful.You take it for granted because it’s all you’ve ever known but if you’d grown up like me, with nothing but ugliness, you’d know how lucky you were to live here, always having good food to eat and nice clothes to wear just like the other kids, and brothers and sisters who actually seem to like one another. And your Mom and Dad have to be the perfect parents. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to have a father like Renny. He’s so kind and strong, like you’d always have everything you needed. Is that really what it was like?”
“Pretty much, Ree, that’s pretty much what it was like.”
>
She snuggled against him. “Would you really make another movie if I asked, Rafe?”
“Not just any movie, Honey, but if something comes along that you really, really want badly, I’d probably do it just for you.”
*
He wasn’t exactly sure where Laney was with everything so he e-mailed her.
Lane - do you still want me to come up in February? R
Rafe - Yes, yes, yes! I can’t wait to see you! Love, Lane.
*
Of course, she was there first, an hour and a half before he thought he’d arrive, just in case he got in early. She was in the room she’d been assigned. She’d unlocked her side of the joining door but he had to unlock his from his side before the rooms were open to each other. This old hotel was very lovely and elegant, not that she cared that much. She’d have stayed in a fleabag if it meant Rafe was going to be there with her. She impatiently read her book with one ear focused outside, waiting for a sound that would alert her to his arrival. But she forgot how quietly he always did everything. The connecting door opened before she knew he was there. He stood, grinning.
“Aren’t you going to come and kiss me hello?”
She flung down her book and jumped up. When she reached him, she threw her arms around him and buried her head in his shoulder, soaking up the feel of his strength and warmth and loved familiarity.
“This is the longest time we’ve ever gone without seeing one another. I almost didn’t think I could stand it.”
He held her face with both his hands and looked into her eyes.
“We need to talk about that before I leave. Do you want to do it now and get it out of the way?”
“No, Rafe, not now. We’ll talk about it later.”
“Okay, then, Honey, you tell me when you’re ready. In the meantime…..”
*
She wasn’t ready until late into the next day. She wasn’t even ready then, really. It was so good just to have him there, making love to her, and then lying next to him when she was totally content and drifting happily into sleep. But she guessed it had to be dealt with sooner or later.
“I’m getting up and getting dressed,” she said, “I can’t talk about serious stuff lying down and naked.”
He was caressing her breast, “no,” he agreed, smiling “you’re easily distractible, Lane.”
She hadn’t brought a robe so she put on his long-sleeved denim shirt. It smelled of his aftershave and even that distracted her a little. He brought them each a bottle of water out of the frig.
“So, who goes first, Lane? You or me?”
“You first, Rafe. Tell me about you and Rhiannon and what that means to us.”
He shrugged. “I love her, I’ve told you that. I think she’ll always be part of my life now, but I don’t know that it will affect us much, one way or the other unless you let it. I know you didn’t come home for Christmas because she was there and I understand why, but she won’t be at Heron Point more than a few weeks out of every year. She’ll still mostly be in California or on location. I’ll be mostly at home or traveling the racing circuit. Life will go on pretty much the same except we’ll probably spend a lot of time on planes going back and forth.”
“I always have a hard time grasping your way of thinking, Rafe.” She giggled. “I think it’s because I’m normal.”
He nodded with a small smile of acknowledgement of her normalcy.
She turned serious. “I’ve given this a lot of thought. You know, I assigned a percentage once to the amount of you I thought you gave to me. It came out to 20 percent.”
“You tried to put our relationship in mathematical terms, Lane?” he cocked one black eyebrow. “And what made you arrive at 20 percent anyway?”
“I was just trying to accept where I fit into the scheme of things in your life, Rafe, and I suppose a fifth was arbitrary but it seemed like roughly the right amount. Anyway, let’s say for the sake of argument it is about right. What I finally decided recently was that was all I’ve ever had of you which meant that other people got the 80 percent that was left, whoever they were. Now, Rhiannon has entered the picture and taken over part of that 80 percent. I guess it shouldn’t make that much difference to me since I never had it anyway. Does any of what I’m saying make any sense, Rafe?”
“Well,” he said, “it sounds like your normalcy trying to make sense of my abnormality but if it works for you, Sweetie, it’s okay.”
“What about her, Rafe? Is she satisfied with the way things are between you?”
“She knows what I am, Lane, and that I won’t change. She says her love comes with no strings attached and I think she really means it.”
“And you’re the same with her?”
“Yes. She’s free to do as she pleases when I’m not around. I never wanted to own anyone, Lane, and I don’t want anyone to own me.”
“I’m an owner, Rafe, or at least I’d like to be.”
“I know, Honey. Makes it hard for you, doesn’t it, dealing with someone like me? Are you going to be all right with me and Ree the way it is then? You know we can call it quits if you think it’s better for you. We’ll just revert to being brother and sister and I’ll love you just the same.”
“No, Rafe! No, I couldn’t do that, not ever! I think it probably would be better, but I can’t imagine never being together with you like this. I bailed on Christmas just because it seemed like it would hurt too bad, knowing she was right beside my room in your bed where I’ve been so many times.” She took a deep breath, “but for the rest of it, Rafe, I’ll share if I have to. I’ll take my 20 percent and try to be happy with it because it’s better than nothing at all.”
He took her hand. “I think it’s a little more than 20 percent, Lane.” He grinned. “Maybe more like 25.”
“And the same for her?”
“Yep - a quarter for you, a quarter for her, a quarter for everyone else and a quarter to keep for myself.”
“I’m done talking, Rafe,” she put her hand on his lap. “I’m ready to collect on my 25 percent right now.”
*
She told him he had to come to the dorm before he left. Her roommate, Sarah, would never forgive her if she didn’t at least bring Rafe by to meet her. He caused quite a splash on campus because just about everyone had seen No Winners and he was even more handsome in real life than he was on the big screen. They had lunch at the cafeteria just so Laney could show him off but it was hard for him to eat in between signing autographs.
“Is it always like this for you now?”
“Just about. “
Sarah was so self-conscious, being at the chosen table with Rafe and Lane, that she didn’t touch her food. She was afraid she’d choke and embarrass herself in front of him. Sarah was usually comfortable about herself. Generally, on campus, she was okay with being a size 18 and wearing jeans that were a little too big and a tee-shirt that was a little too small. She hardly ever wore make up, making no effort to capitalize on her best feature, her soft brown doe eyes. She let her naturally curly dark blond hair go too long between trimmings so it it bushed around her face with no discernible style. Right now though, she was supremely conscious of her shortcomings. She wished she’d stuck to that diet and hadn’t cancelled her appointment at the hair salon.
Lane had asked him to bring Sarah one of the “I ‘heart’ Rafe fan club shirts and he gave it to her after he walked them back to their building, signed with that big, bold Rafe above the heart. He gave her a quick hug and told her he was glad his sister had a roommate she got along with so well, at which, she turned a particularly vivid shade of scarlet and mumbled, “me, too”.
Laney went with him out to his car.
“God, she’s going to be unbearable about you now, Rafe. Thanks for being so sweet to her.”
“I’m usually sweet to vulnerable people, Lane.”
“You see why I said I was glad she was heavy and not pretty. She would have thrown herself at you and you might have been tempted to take
her up on it.”
“I should do it anyway, Lane and make her day. You know, I’m not above giving out the occasional pity fuck. It’s sort of my version of donating to charity. Not long ago, I screwed a scrawny, freckle-faced, buck-toothed little redhead…’course I was afraid to let her blow me because of the teeth. Kept visualizing a beaver and a tree.”
“You’re lying, Rafe!”
His fleeting smile slid across his face. She never did know whether he was teasing her or telling the truth.
*
After he was gone, she found a check for $1,000 in her purse with a sticky note that said he didn’t want her giving up something she wanted because of him.
*
He heard about the colt when he was waiting at Grindle’s Garage while they serviced the Corvette. He’d gone to school with Roger Corning, whose parents owned Legacy Ridge Arabs, where Heron Point’s own horses had come from. Roger was waiting too, for one of the farm trucks to be finished.
“Hey, Rog, how’s it going?”
“Good, Rafe, although not as good as it sounds like you’re doing.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve had a streak of good luck lately.
“Rafe, your whole life has been a streak of good luck.”
Rafe shrugged, then changed the subject. “Old Destiny is starting to slow down, Rog. I’ve thought off and on about coming out and taking a look at your young stock. Don’t know when I might have got around to it but since we’ve met up like this, have you got anything you think I’d be interested in?”
Sociopath? Page 28