Watching her closely, she paused mid bite. “You want to buy a house together?”
It wasn’t a no, and sounded hopeful. This was good. This was very good.
Not wanting to give her surprise away, I shrugged. “Yes. I figured it would be nice to have a place of our own, maybe get a dog.”
Yeah, I was going for the whole fucking caboodle in this new life. I’d always wanted a dog. Jasmine’s apartment was nice and felt homey, but I wanted us to have a home that stood by itself in its own yard. All my life I’d lived in apartments, hotels, or in some desolate place.
Thoughtfully, Jasmine rubbed her stomach. “You’re not doing this because of the baby, are you?”
Scooting her chair out, I placed my hand on top of hers, touching her stomach while kneeling. She needed to hear and see my earnestness. “I promise. Baby or no baby, I wanted to get a house together. You’ll see.”
Quirking an eyebrow, I knew I slipped. Jasmine knew something was up, but I stood and gave her a quick kiss before taking my seat. To hide the slight curvature of my lips, I took another sip of coffee.
Biting her lower lip, she said, “I love the idea. It’ll be nice to have a real home and family again.”
Having Jasmine happy was all that matter. She’d lost her parents a few years back in a dog sledding accident. The dogs broke free when a bear came out of nowhere. The sled tumbled down the mountain with her parents still on it. They were found dead two days later. Up here in Alaska, it’s beautiful but brutal. I knew how lonely she was, and it nearly killed her having to sell her parents’ house. What was harder for Jasmine was seeing the new owners tear down the only place she thought of as home. Otherwise, I would have bought her parents’ home for our place.
Taking her plate to the sink, Jasmine rinsed it and put it in the dishwasher. I couldn’t take my eyes off her perfect body. I wanted her again and it hadn’t been an hour. Fingers trailed along my shoulder. Jasmine leaned in and whispered, “I’m going to take a shower. I think there’s room for two.”
Seeing that ass sashay out of the room, I bounded out of my seat. Silently, I followed. My girl was as insatiable as I was. The shower curtain sounded as she got in. Quickly, I shucked my clothes and walked into the room as it steamed.
Pushing the shower curtain aside, Jasmine reached for the shampoo and glanced at me from over her shoulder, clearly pleased I’d followed her. “I thought you were going to stand me up.”
I engulfed her in my arms. “I’ll always be there for you.”
After getting ready, we were in the car. Jasmine sat in the passenger seat, rubbing her stomach with her right hand while her left one settled on my leg. The early-afternoon sun was in the sky beginning its descent. Nights were long in Alaska during the winter months. The sign for Fish Hook Road was up ahead. I turned left and saw Jasmine look at me confused from the side. The driveway at the end of the street was where Jasmine’s surprise awaited her.
“What are we doing here?” I didn’t say a word as I parked in the driveway. Jasmine continued to talk. “Oh, Bane, I love this house. It’s not for sale, though.” There was longing in her voice as she looked at the two-story home. When I’d been here before I left Black Division, she showed me around town; Jasmine pointed out this house as one she’d always loved. There was no denying the dreamlike tone she’d spoken with.
Trying to stay nonchalant, I said, “I know, but thought we might look around to get some ideas.”
“That’s a good idea.”
The snow crunched beneath our boots as we made our way up to the pale-yellow house. The smell of smoke filled the air from nearby fireplaces. Our breaths came out in little puffs. Jasmine danced about in front of me as she made her way to the front porch. I wanted to stop her, but figured being a crazed, overprotective guy this early was not smart. Jasmine had been fine for nearly six months. Six months. I’d missed over half of the pregnancy. When we had another kid, I vowed to be part of everything.
Touching one of the front poles, Jasmine said, “I saw them painting this a couple of months ago. I think it’s my favorite shade of yellow.”
I touched the door handle and turned the knob. “Bane, we can’t trespass.”
Opening the door anyway, I shrugged. “We’re not going to harm anything. Let’s take a look around.”
Jasmine still protested, but I walked in. The living room was as I’d imagined it. Glancing back at the door, my girl stood at the threshold.
“Bane, it’s wrong.”
With a devilish grin on my face, I prowled toward her.
“Bane, no—” I ignored her and picked her up as she chortled. “You always get want you want, don’t you?”
“Yes, because I got you.” Jasmine gave me that soft look, filled with love, as her hand touched my cheek.
The builders followed the specs I provided perfectly. The floor plan had been opened up. Bright colors were on the walls.
In my arms, Jasmine gasped when she looked from me to the sign on the wall.
“Bane, this is ours?” Her voice was unbelieving. “You bought us my favorite house and had it redone?”
I could tell she was beginning to get excited as the reality sunk in.
“I did. For you, me, and now our little girl. Do you like it?”
Glossy eyes looked at me, on the verge of tears. “It’s incredible.” She kissed me. “I love you. I love you so much. We’re going to be so happy together.”
This was all I needed. Ever. “Let me show you what they did in the bedroom.”
LAST NIGHT, WE’D spent our first night in the new house since it was fully furnished. I had movers scheduled to meet us at her place in two days to pack whatever Jasmine wanted to bring. I think she felt the same as me—new life, new beginnings, new everything.
It was early in the morning. Sunrise was about forty minutes away. The timing had to be perfect for what I planned. For the hundredth time I mentally went over what I was going to say.
“So, where are you taking me?” Blindfolded, Jasmine curiously asked from the passenger seat.
I chuckled to myself. “It’s a surprise. Be patient.” My girl loved and hated surprises all at the same time.
Yesterday, we got a home together. Tomorrow, we would go to the doctor where I’d be able to see the baby on the ultra sound. Today, well today, had its own surprise that would be memorable us.
While driving, I heard a sweet sigh. “I love the house, Bane. I’ve never been happier. I wish Mom and Dad were here to see it all.”
That was the one thing I couldn’t give her. Her parents. I knew how much she missed them. I’d do everything I could to be what she needed. “I know, baby.”
“I believe they’re with me still. I think loved ones always help guide those they’ve left behind to their right path. I almost didn’t go to New York two years ago until I had a dream with my parents encouraging me to go.”
I squeezed her hand that rested on my knee. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I believed when it came to life and death. “You coming to New York was the best decision. It changed my life.”
“Our life, Bane.”
How right she was. That night at the bar changed me … forever. I wasn’t sure why I’d been chosen to cross paths with Jasmine. Jasmine brought me out of my thoughts. “Hey, were you serious last night when you mentioned me staying home to raise the baby?”
All the bullshit of the Black Division was worth being able to provide for her now. “Baby, I’d love nothing more. Jasmine, whatever you want … it’s yours. We have more than enough to get by. It makes all the work I’ve done worth it, knowing that I can provide us a life.”
Jasmine was an elementary school teacher. The children loved her and I knew she’d be a wonderful mother.
From the lights on the dashboard, I could see the delicate smile that graced her lips. “I want to try staying home for the first year. Take a leave of absence from the school.”
I interlaced our fingers. “I want you home with us.”<
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“That’s what I want too, Bane. It’s all I want.” Jasmine fidgeted before speaking. “What do you think about the name, Faith?”
“Faith?”
“Yes, for the baby. It’s through my faith that one day I’d find my happily ever after that I was able to open myself up to you for love.”
A lump formed in my throat. I let go of her hand and caressed my child. I was rewarded with a small kick. My little girl was active when I spoke. Even after all the time I’d missed with the pregnancy, we were connected.
The more I thought about it, the more the name for our daughter fit. I cleared my throat. “Faith is perfect.”
Jasmine placed her hand on her stomach. “Did you hear that, Faith? You have a name, my precious baby girl.”
More little kicks pressed against my palm. “I think she likes it.”
“I think she does.” Life was abso-fucking-lutely fantastic. Over the last two days, the demons were lessoning their grip on my soul. It was Jasmine’s presence—my light, my salvation, my everything. They say good things come to those who wait; well, it took twenty-eight years. Better than twenty-nine, if I am going to start taking this positive approach shit.
She snorted. “You know, I’m going to get all fat.”
I couldn’t wait for her stomach to get bigger. Could. Not. Wait. “You’re going to be beautiful, not fat.”
“And this is why I love you.” Her thumb rubbed up and down mine. “Are we there yet? You woke me up at the crack of dawn.”
I chuckled. It was true; I woke her up early to sink inside her before we started on our way to this special place for us. Being inside her kept me from thinking all of this was a dream. “About ten more minutes. I promise it’ll be worth it.”
She gave a playful huff, but then resumed resting her hands on her stomach. Gasping, Jasmine said, “I love feeling her move.”
I reached across and rested my hand on her stomach. There wasn’t any movement. Faith was probably still sleeping. Then, a little kick happened, letting me know she was there.
“She loves your touch.” Her hand came to rest on mine. We were a family. “I think we need a house full of little girls to give their daddy a run for his money.”
The life she mentioned flashed before my eyes as I thought about chasing off every dick that came our daughter’s way. No fucking way was she dating. No fucking way. She was never dating. Period.
A sweet laughter that always chipped away at my blackened soul filtered through the cab. “Bane, stop your thoughts right there. Our daughter will date.”
“How’d you know what I was thinking?”
“Because I know you.”
This would be a discussion for later since we arrived at our special spot. We still had five minutes before we needed to get out of the car. It was frigid outside at this time of day.
“We’re here.”
Jasmine perked up. “Can I take the blindfold off?”
I leaned across the seat and let my stubble scrape against her jawline. “Be patient.”
Turning her head, she nipped my lip. “You’re going to owe me some extra good orgasms when we get back to the house.”
“I think I can handle that task, baby.” We only had two minutes until sunrise. “It’s time. I’m going to come get you and carry you to the spot. I don’t want you slipping.”
Jasmine loved being taken care of, and I loved doing it. Stepping outside, I hoped to hell this turned out the way I wanted.
The light was barely peeking over the horizon. The ice on the lake sparkled in the early morning light. Opening the door, I grabbed the love of my life under her legs and securely held her against my chest. Even pregnant, she was still light. I was going to take her for a big hearty breakfast later … giving us fuel for orgasms.
Cradled against my neck, Jasmine spoke. “You make my life complete.”
I didn’t say a word as I sat her down and the sun peeked over the horizon. Hell, I was nervous. Getting down on one knee, I said, “Take off the blind fold, baby.”
She did as I asked and looked at me, a hand going to her mouth.
“Jasmine, until you, I was lost. You saved me in ways you’ll never know. I love you with my whole heart. I thought I was lost forever until you found me. I brought you tour place the place where we first said I love you to each other when I was here the last time. It was through that last visit we conceived Faith. This is the same place where I want you to become part of my forever. Will you do me the honor of not only being the mother of our child, but my wife?”
This spot was special to us. On our last visit, she’d brought me here after we’d stayed up all night. It was the place she came to reflect on her life. No one knew about it.
Tears came down her cheek. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
I stood and opened the ring box. She wouldn’t be able to put it on with her gloves, but I wanted her to see it. “I bought this about nine months back, but wanted to wait until I was free.”
Inside the black velvet box, a large diamond stood on a silver band. The jewelry guy called it a princess something or other. I knew from the price tag it had to be good, so I bought it.
Jumping into my arms, Jasmine kissed me hard. I’d never tire of her taste. It was like strawberries. She sniffled. “You had this planned before I became pregnant.”
In between kisses, I tried to explain. “I planned on proposing all along. Being pregnant was an added bonus. Let’s get home and consummate this engagement.”
“I want nothing more. Bane, I never knew I could be this happy.”
“Me either, baby.”
I sat Jasmine down, looking at her face. Her glistening eyes could see into my soul. Because of her I was a better man. Even being able to see the bad and ugly, she still loved me. The darkness didn’t matter. Jasmine was my light.
THUD.
On instinct, I ducked at the sickening sound and brought Jasmine with me. It had to be a hunter, but my gut told me something was up. I always trusted my gut. If it wasn’t a hunter, a sniper was in the area. Were they looking for me? If so, what the fuck did they want with me? The first thing I needed to do was get us out of there.
If it was a sniper, I would hunt down the motherfucker and eliminate him. By the sound ricocheting through the area, he was a mile out, probably perched in a tree somewhere.
“Baby, I need to get us out of here.”
I never dreamed this could happen. I’d taken every precaution I could think of. Up here, we were supposed to be safe from any danger.
I pulled Jasmine, but nothing happened. Dead weight. Turning back, I had a sickening feeling I wasn’t willing to admit. Before my eyes, Jasmine slumped over as a red pool of blood spread from her head into the white snow.
Grabbing her shoulders, I brought her to me. “No! No! No! Baby, wake up!”
Jasmine laid before me. Lifeless. Dead.
Sobs erupted from me. “NOOOO!”
Everything worth living for was fading in that moment. I had to be there for my little girl as her movements faded. “Faith, I’m here! I’m here, Faith! Daddy is here!”
There was nothing I could do. Helpless. I prayed for a miracle as I begged, “Baby, don’t leave me! Please don’t leave me!”
In that moment, I lost all that I had. All that I was. Everything.
Visions of what could have been flashed before my eyes—putting a swing together, seeing Jasmine teach our daughter to read, eating as a family.
Cradling the love of my life’s body, I rocked her. Rocked my baby with my hand on her stomach. My baby. My daughter. My Faith.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Life without Jasmine was no life at all. I screamed and my voice echoed through the open area. “KILL ME, MOTHERFUCKER! KILL ME! KILL ME NOW!”
Nothing happened.
Gone.
It was all gone.
The blackness took hold of my soul.
I let it.
Fire burned within my veins.
They should have killed me.
Now, I would hunt them down.
Every. Last. One. Of. Them.
Present Day
I SAT UP, gasping for air, drenched in sweat. Different night. Same fucking dream—Jasmine’s eyes looking at me right before she and our baby were murdered. The dream always left me hollow. It was the worst day of my existence that I lived over and over again—never able to escape. I deserved to be haunted for what happened in Alaska. If only the killer shot me instead, life would be better. The love of my life and child would be alive.
The clock read four in the morning. Two hours of sleep. I’d take it. Throwing on some jogging shorts, I hit the treadmill in my spare room. The speed of the belt propelled me forward while I pushed myself to the limit, which never seemed enough to do me in.
After the nightmare, most times, I ran while trying to burn away the rage that still loomed beneath the surface. I gritted my teeth as I thought about all I’d lost. My hands were balled into fists while I remembered.
I pushed myself hard, wanting to be numb.
I’d never be rid of it—that was for certain. All I could do was stifle the inner turmoil. There was nowhere left for it to go. I’d killed every motherfucker that had a part in Jasmine’s death.
Every. Last. One. Of. Them.
To get my revenge, I’d enlisted with the Black Division under the condition I got to hunt down and kill those responsible. They welcomed me back with open arms, but with their own condition … that I took on six missions of their choice.
Yeah, I took the deal.
No matter the price, revenge was the only thing that mattered. I thought back to my last day when I left Black Division for good, after I’d killed the two people responsible for my loved ones’ deaths … Enrique Consuelo and Eric Thornhill.
Sarge, my superior, walked up to me. The large scar on his face was from a knife fight in Afghanistan. “Are you sure we can’t talk you in to staying?”
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