“To answer your question, I do think they’ll go home,” the man said. “The king and the head safety officer may be angry, but they won’t punish anyone. They don’t want to lose gifted guards and officers.”
“What were you?” Tavi asked. “A guard or an officer?”
“A guard. I spent every day in the throne room, just like Zakkur. The other three that changed sides are all safety officers.” He looked back toward the cottages. “We need to get the prisoners out of here so the rest of us can leave, too,” he said. The blaze hadn’t spread past the stone monastery, but flames were rising from the roof and streaming out the windows. Everyone was aware of the danger if the wind blew the fire into the trees.
“As soon as they’re ready, I’ll close the ravine so they can cross,” Tavi said.
The man spoke to the others who’d been overseeing weapon retrieval. While they moved the discarded hand cannons off to the side, he turned and walked back toward the prisoners.
Soon a line of captured invaders approached, their hands clasped behind their heads. They were well-guarded by people who looked like they wouldn’t need much of an excuse to try out the weapons they held.
Tavi approached the ravine, and unexpected emotion filled her throat. She looked behind her at the line of prisoners. In the distance, flames rose from the ruins of the monastery. Turning back to the great crevasse she’d created, she let a few tears flow. Their entire nation had been broken open like the earth before her, fractured by gray magic, violence, and hate.
She knelt and gave herself a moment to calm down. Closing her eyes, she pictured Reba. For years, Reba had been the one Tavi had gone to when she’d wanted to laugh or cry or just relax. Reba had taught Tavi to braid her own hair and play a flute. Tavi breathed in, filling herself with a desire she couldn’t ever fulfill to retrieve the true friendship she and Reba had shared before everything broke apart.
Magic filled her entire body, and she welcomed its warmth. She opened her eyes, gazing at the great crack in the ground. Her mind gift saw how the earth and stone should fit back together. She placed her hands on the ground and sent magic from her feet and her hands into the earth, moving it. Healing it.
When the crevasse was closed, she released her magic and walked away, not even glancing at the people who had come there to kill her friends and capture her. She held the image in her mind of the mended earth. If only it were that easy to heal their nation.
Tavi walked back toward the cottage where Ven and Reba lay. She wondered where the other bodies were. Tullen had told her that eight refugees, two pilgrims, one monk, and three invaders were also dead. Tavi thanked Sava none of them were children.
She leaned against the wall of the little house, then slid down it and sat in the dirt. She didn’t want to see Reba’s and Ven’s bodies again. But they shouldn’t be alone. After blowing out her candle, she rested her forehead on her knees. She tried to cry but couldn’t. If only her mother were there. Or Misty. Or Ellea.
Footsteps sounded, and Tavi looked up. Tullen approached and sat next to her. He placed a candle on the ground between them.
She didn’t plan to talk, but the words came out anyway. “We couldn’t keep them safe. We tried to do everything right, and we couldn’t keep them safe.” Pointing at the burning monastery, she laughed, but there was no real humor in it. “Yesterday I worked on my notes in the library, and I left them there. All the ways we contemplated bringing the Grays down. All our carefully considered scenarios. Burning up. And it doesn’t matter, because I’m realizing this was hopeless from the beginning. No matter how strong we are, they’re stronger.”
She looked back at Tullen. The candlelight illuminated the sorrowful, thoughtful expression on his face.
“We’re probably going to lose,” she murmured.
He sighed. “You might be right.”
“Then why do we even try?”
Tullen didn’t answer immediately, and Tavi didn’t mind the silence. Finally, he said, “Because trying gives us purpose. Maybe sometimes trying is the whole point.”
“What if it doesn’t work?”
He gave her a sad smile. “I don’t know. But I think in the end, it will be worth the risk. Even if we fail.”
“Tell that to Reba and Ven.” A minute or two passed, and Tavi whispered, “I just need a reason to hope.”
Tullen didn’t say a word, but a moment later, a real smile spread across his face.
“What?” Tavi asked.
He pointed at a round, dark spot on the dirt, right next to the candle.
“What’s that?”
The sky answered her question. A drop of rain fell on her cheek, then another on her hand. Drops turned into showers, and showers turned into a massive spring storm. Tavi watched as it poured onto the burning monastery.
At last, she welcomed the relief of salty tears, joining the cool rain as it ran down her cheeks.
Ash volunteered to dig the graves. The only shovels that were available were the ones used in the cottage fireplaces. He got to work with the tiny tools, one in each of his gray-lit hands.
One of the other members of the tunnel crew had the same gift as Ash. Tavi wondered aloud why that man wasn’t helping dig. Narre told her he was one of the ones being buried.
Two volunteers stood by the entrance to Narre’s Path, guarding it. But the rain was persistent, and most of the refugees, monks, pilgrims, and reformed invaders found shelter in the crowded cottages. Tavi, Jenevy, and Wrey went to their little home. Tess and two other monks joined them. Despite the close quarters, Tavi curled up on the floor, using her arms as a pillow. She’d barely dozed off when a knock sounded.
Wrey opened the door, and Tavi heard Narre say, “The Golds are all meeting in the largest cottage.” Tavi groaned and got up.
Like the other cottages, the largest one only had one room. However, it had four beds and a little more floor space. When Tavi, Narre, Jenevy, and Wrey arrived, the other Golds were already there, along with two refugees, Bea, one pilgrim, and all four of the invaders who’d stayed behind. Tavi walked in and found a place to stand.
“Are we all here?” Bea asked.
“Yes,” Sall replied.
“Let’s discuss what’s next.” Bea looked around the room. A lantern sat on a table near her, illuminating her businesslike expression. “The pilgrims should all go home.” When the pilgrim representative confirmed this, Bea continued, “Refugees, will you go back to Savala? Or will you find another place to hide?”
One of them, a big man who’d fled with his young daughter, let out a harsh laugh. “If we’d stayed in Savala, I bet we’d all still be alive. We’re going home.”
Tavi hung her head, shame filling her face and neck with heat.
Sall said, “I suggest you travel in small groups as you approach the city. As long as you attract no special attention, you should be able to gain entrance.”
“I should hope so,” the man said. “None of us have our faces on reward posters around the city. We all know who the invaders really came for.”
Tavi tried to hold back her tears. Narre grabbed her hand and squeezed. She looked just as stricken as Tavi felt.
“Very well,” Bea said. “A few people brought bags of supplies out of the monastery, and there’s food and water in a few of the pilgrim cottages. We can send you with some of it. It won’t be much.”
“It’ll be fine,” the man said. Then Tavi watched as he stood taller and uncrossed his arms. “I’ve been talking to some of the other refugees. We figure this never would have happened if we hadn’t let ourselves get so scared in Savala. So we’ve got a plan. When we get home, we’ll meet together as often as we can. We’ll invite other Blessed to meet with us, whoever wants to. And we’ll find someone who can teach us to fight. That way we don’t have to hide. Those people who want gray awakenings, they’ll start to think twice once they realize their victims won’t lie down and take it. From now on, we’re not hiding. We’re fighting.”
> A small flame of hope lit inside Tavi. “We know someone who can teach you,” she said.
The man spun around and looked at her, mistrust written all over his face.
“The officer who taught my friends and me to fight—he’s in Savala. I don’t know how long he’ll be there, but he can teach you the basics. And I bet he can connect you with someone who can keep on teaching you after he’s gone.” Tavi tried to smile at the man. “Also, we have a list of Savalans we’ve connected with, people who want to resist. They’ll give you any help you need. We can tell you how to get in touch with all of them.”
The refugee nodded slowly. “We’d appreciate that.” He turned back toward Bea. “When can we leave?
“As soon as you’d like,” Bea replied.
“We’ll go at first light.” He strode toward the door.
The other refugee, a young woman, didn’t follow the man when he left. Moments after the door slammed, she said, “I don’t want to go to Savala.”
Bea’s eyebrows rose. “What will you do instead?”
The woman’s eyes dropped to the ground. “Anything except go back.”
“My dear, I know it’s a frightening time,” Bea said, “but I don’t know where my own people will be staying. I don’t have shelter to offer you.”
The woman’s head snapped up, and her voice was suddenly loud. “I won’t return to my husband!”
The room was silent.
Tears in her voice, the refugee spoke again. “I was never afraid of the people who are killing to get gray magic.”
With a start, Tavi realized the darkness under one of the woman’s eyes wasn’t a shadow. It was a bruise. How did I fail to see that when she joined us a few days ago? Then Tavi remembered: The woman wore thick cosmetics. But tonight, everyone had been ushered out of their beds, and they hadn’t had time to get ready. Tavi was seeing the woman’s real face for the first time.
Tavi’s chest ached. For a refugee who’d had more cause to fear than any of the others. For Bea and the rest of the monks, who’d lost the place they’d lived and planned to die. For the three safety officers and one royal guard who’d stood up for what was right and given up their right to return home.
“I have an idea.”
Tavi looked to see who’d spoken. It was a female invader, a safety officer.
“My parents live on a farm outside Savala,” she said. “It’s very private. In fact, they donate wheat to the monastery every year.”
Bea’s cheeks wrinkled as a surprised grin overtook her face. “Jorus and Sule? They’re your parents?”
“Yes,” the officer said, returning the smile. “They’re very devout. I have no doubt they would host all of us.”
“But where?” Bea asked. “There are so many of us.”
“It’s a large house,” the officer said. “I’m the youngest of ten children. Now it’s just my parents there. Plus there are barns, and we could build more space if we need to.” She looked at the refugee. “One of my sisters had to flee a difficult marriage. She stayed with my parents for several years. They have kind hearts. I know they’d let you stay, too.”
“I’d be willing to work,” the refugee said.
The officer nodded. “We’ll all need to work. As they’ve gotten older, my parents have let much of the land go fallow. We’ll plant more crops to support ourselves.”
Bea nodded slowly. “Thanks be to Sava.” She looked toward the Golds. “I assume you’ll come with us?”
Tavi’s heart dropped. Yet another place to hide. They’d hidden for an entire year now. The Meadow. The monastery. The midwife house. They’d even hidden among bones. The male refugee’s words came back to her: From now on, we’re not hiding. We’re fighting.
“I don’t want to hide anymore.” Tavi’s voice was loud, firm.
Bea’s eyes narrowed, concern filling her countenance. “Aren’t the king’s people looking for you?”
Tavi nodded. “Yes. And after what happened here, it’s time to confront them.”
Sall, logical as ever, said, “Tavi, your face is all over Savala. There are even more gray safety officers and guards than before. I don’t see how you’ll get to Konner without being captured, even with your gifts.”
The royal guard Tavi had met earlier said, “Besides, Konner and the king and queen won’t even be in Savala.”
Every Gold turned in the guard’s direction. “What do you mean?” Tavi asked.
“A soon as this mission is over, they’re leaving to meet the army,” the man said. “It’s all they’ve been talking about.”
Tavi’s face broke into a smile. “If they’re going to meet the army, we’ll meet them first. On the road, where there aren’t thousands of people between us and them.”
The guard’s eyebrows rose. “If you’re going to stop them, I’ll come with you. But we’ll have to hurry. They’re planning to invade Pellagi. Within the next few weeks, we’ll be at war.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
I’ve heard other midwives advise expectant mothers not to put themselves in stressful situations. While I agree stress is not good for pregnancies, it is impossible for anyone to live a perfectly peaceful life. We must ensure that expectant mothers are surrounded by people who support them, especially when times are difficult.
-From Midwifery: A Manual for Practical and Karian Midwives by Ellea Kariana
Konner was in their house. Uninvited. Again.
Every time Konner visited, he was uninvited. From the beginning, Camalyn had been determined to keep this house as private as possible. So she’d hired few inside staff and many outdoor guards. The guards were usually good at keeping visitors away, but Konner was their boss, and they always let him in.
Camalyn was eating roast chicken for dinner. It didn’t taste good, but it wasn’t making her sick. That made it a pleasant meal, at least by the lowered standards of her difficult pregnancy. Relin was sweet and attentive, as was usually the case when they were away from the stresses of ruling. And Konner had to ruin it by barging into the room and sitting at the table with them. Uninvited.
“We don’t want you here,” Camalyn said.
Konner ignored her words. “The team is back from the monastery.”
Relin looked up from the roll he was drizzling honey on. “Already? I thought they were going to get some rest before they marched back.”
“That was the plan. Instead, they were stripped of their weapons and sent away. Six of them got gray awakenings. Six. Our brilliant invasion team also managed to kill ten others without successfully stealing their breath. Some of the ones they killed weren’t even gifted.”
Camalyn felt an unexpected surge of relief and victory. The raid Konner had been so excited about had failed. “What happened?”
Konner told them about their trusted guard Zakkur alerting the targets, and about the other traitors who’d turned during the brief battle. He barely suppressed his rage when he described how “that stupid all-blessed girl” created ravines, one of which kept half their people from even reaching the monastery.
Then he described the fire to them. He took great joy in that part of the story. For the first time in hours, Camalyn’s stomach churned. But it wasn’t nausea. It was grief. She’d grown up in a religious household. She remembered her parents sending donations to the monastery outside Savala. When she was a young woman, tired of her parents and her life, she’d considered running off and becoming a monk herself.
“What do we do next?” Relin asked.
Konner threw his hands up. “We can’t do a thing! This was a convenient opportunity to give gray awakenings to most of our sun-blessed safety officers and a few of our guards. Because of five traitors, we’re left with our tails between our legs. We’ll try to forget this ever happened, and we’ll go meet the army. Just as we planned.”
Camalyn had been buttering a roll, and she held it out to Konner. “It’s terrible, these youngsters defeating us again,” she said.
Konner ignored
the proffered roll and gave her a look of disgust. She kept her expression sober, though she wanted to smile. She wished she could congratulate Tavi Malin. It was deeply satisfying to know someone kept humiliating Konner.
Camalyn knew she should feel humiliated too. But these days, she was having trouble caring. She had a child growing in her womb, and something in her was shifting, something far more significant than her waistline. She’d soon be increasing the population of Cormina by one, and every day she wondered if they were really building the nation she wanted for her child.
“Camalyn!” Konner’s impatient voice interrupted her thoughts. “Will you be ready to leave in the morning, shortly after dawn?”
“I’ve been thinking about that, and I don’t know if it’s a good idea,” Camalyn said. “The baby will be here in weeks. Maybe sooner.”
Konner’s eyes flitted down to her belly, then back up to her face. Why did she always get the feeling he was disgusted by her these days? “You’ll be bringing your midwife,” he said. “Make sure she brings any supplies you’ll need. You can give birth anywhere; women have done so for millennia.”
His cavalier attitude sent fury into her chest. “I can’t give birth on a battlefield!”
Konner huffed. “I’m not bringing you into battle; don’t be ridiculous. But you have an ability neither of us have. You can use your magic to inspire the troops before they go to war. Some of them may be afraid. You can convince them they’re ready. That may make the difference between us winning and losing. Think of others for once.”
“Think of others?” Camalyn shouted. She opened her mouth to tell him precisely what he could do with his self-righteous advice when she felt Relin’s hand on her knee.
She swiveled her head to face him and found him giving her that carefree, friendly smile he so often wore. She reluctantly reined in her anger.
“You know, this baby will be a prince or princess,” Relin said. “The king should be there when it’s born.”
Camalyn felt warm tears enter her eyes, and she blinked, horrified. She made it a point never to cry around Konner. But Relin’s words had struck a chord deep within her. Her arranged marriage left much to be desired, but she still wanted to know that her husband cared about her. That wasn’t exactly what he’d said, but perhaps it was what he’d meant. She hoped.
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