I sympathized with the depth of her dream and hoped it wasn’t too painful when she woke up. “We won’t ever work out. Connor will always be Connor, and I will always be me.”
* * *
Ashley quickly found sleep that night, but it evaded me for hours. Connor and Gina wanted privacy and slept well away from us. I couldn’t escape the betrayal I felt. He’d cast his own daughter aside just as easily as he had me. Ashley’s eyes cried out in pain while her lips defended the man hurting her. Why would You take her parents and leave her with … this? Hasn’t she suffered enough? Where are You?
I couldn’t feel anything. I hadn’t heard the call in a long time and I missed His presence. Did I do something wrong? Have I been abandoned by You too? I stared at the sky, praying for answers, but none came.
“You still awake?” Jeff whispered, interrupting my silent questions.
“Yeah.” I shifted in my bag. “Can’t sleep.”
“Me either.” He rolled closer.
I smiled; thankful for the companionship. “So, what’s on your mind?”
It was dark and I could barely see the faint gleam from his teeth and knew he was smiling at me.
“You’re always trying to get the dirt on me, aren’t you?” he asked.
“That depends. Is there any dirt to get?”
Jeff chuckled. Then he quieted and we lay in silence for a while. Frogs croaked and wildlife skittered nearby. I usually found the noises comforting, but this night, every sound kept me awake.
I gave Jeff a light shove. “You didn’t answer my question. Now tell me, what’s keeping you up? What has your mind working overtime so you can’t sleep?”
He leaned closer and whispered, “Um … regrets.”
Taking my cue from him, I lowered my voice as well. “Regrets?” I asked. “You’re so young. What could you possibly regret?”
“You’re not that much older than me,” he replied, sounding offended. “And lots of things. Don’t you have any regrets?”
I thought about my life. My mistakes. Connor said something that Gina must have found funny because she cackled loud enough that I could hear her. Scowling in their general direction, I replied, “I’ve made lots of mistakes, but I don’t know that I regret any of them. They’ve all helped me somehow. And thankfully God doesn’t require my perfection.”
“God?” Jeff shifted. “Right.”
“What?” I asked. “You don’t believe in God? You really think we are the most advanced beings in the world?” I asked. “We couldn’t even save our country. I refuse to believe that there is nothing more powerful than us.”
He chuckled. “Okay, I suppose I see your point.”
“Besides.” I turned on my side and propped myself up on my elbow to face him. “I’ve seen far too much evidence of God’s presence to doubt that He exists.”
“Really?” His tone sounded both interested and skeptical, so I kept talking.
“Yeah. Like the summer I turned fifteen. I was at church camp, swimming with a group of friends. The boy I had a crush on dove into the water and hit his index finger on the bottom of the pool. It instantly swelled and turned purple. He all but cried over the pain as I walked with him to the nurse’s station, where he was informed that his finger was broken. The nurse set the bone, put one of those metal thingies on it to stabilize it, and then wrapped it up good.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well that night at chapel we prayed for him and I can’t explain it, but I felt something happen. He unwrapped the bandage and bent his finger, moving it all over the place. It wasn’t swollen or even discolored anymore.”
Jeff’s brows knit together as he processed my story. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before words actually escaped. “That’s … unbelievable.”
I nodded. “Indeed. But I was with him. I know he broke his finger. I’m not crazy, and I didn’t want to believe it either. But how do you deny something that’s right in front of you? It was broken, then it wasn’t. And I saw and felt the whole thing.”
Jeff was quiet for a while. He rolled onto his back and stared up at the sky. “The kid was a good guy right?”
“What?”
“I mean that sort of stuff only happens to good people.” He zipped his sleeping bag closed.
I chuckled. “What is a good person? None of us are worthy. We’re all imperfect and human. But it’s not about us or what we’ve done. It’s about grace.” I frowned, wondering how to answer his question without preaching at him. “I’ve done some pretty bad things in my life, but I’ve been forgiven. No one is beyond His pardon.”
“Grace.” It sounded like Jeff was trying the word out; swishing it around his taste buds to check the vintage. It was the last thing he said that night. We both drifted off sometime shortly after.
When I awoke the next morning everyone but Ashley was gone.
Carved into the ground under where Jeff’s sleeping bag had been were two words: ‘Forgive me.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
FROM THE MOMENT Connor saw movement in the thicket behind Ashley, he knew they’d picked up a tail. He took a few steps into the bush, hoping to flush out another duck and prove his instincts wrong, but nothing had been frightened enough to flee. He considered going in deeper, but without knowing what he was up against, that plan was foolish. Especially since it meant leaving Liberty and Ashley unprotected by the duck pond. No, their best option was to keep moving forward and hope they outdistanced whoever was pursuing them. So, Connor pushed his group along.
Then Gina and Jeff appeared—siblings with some bogus story about waiting for their father—and Connor knew his group was in trouble. Gina and Jeff were healthy. There were no bags under their eyes, and Gina had stared down the barrel of Connor’s gun without a hint of fear. Every move she made was calculated; like a performer, comfortable in front of her audience. Jeff, on the other hand, projected anger, defiance, and insecurity in equal proportions. He could almost see the tension between the siblings.
So who are they and what do they want? Anticipating what Gina would expect of Connor Dunstan, attorney at law, he turned up the charisma and fine tuned his game. Gina asked to travel with them and Connor accepted, intending to keep Gina close until he found out who she really was. He complemented and fawned after her until her smiles became invitations, making him wonder how far he’d have to play the game. Gina would be easy … predictable. Nothing like Liberty, who frustrated him beyond reason.
But Connor forgot the cost of the game until he saw Gina sneering at Liberty. “She is so ridiculously uncoordinated,” Gina muttered with her arms crossed.
Connor followed her gaze to the road where Jeff had one arm wrapped around Liberty with the other on her bike. He could help without fondling her. Mouth closed so he couldn’t holler at Jeff and tell him to keep his greedy hands off Liberty, Connor turned away. He couldn’t concern himself with Liberty and what could have been. He had a different role to play now.
Gina turned toward Connor and asked, “Is she always that pathetic?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “Some people will stop at nothing to get attention. Of course then there are women like you, whose very presence demands appreciation.”
Gina flashed him a seductive smile, affirming that his efforts were working.
Ashley froze. Her eyes darkened with hurt and anger. She threw the frying pan at his feet and stormed off toward Jeff and Liberty. Connor knew he’d dealt a crippling blow to the reconstruction of their relationship, but there was nothing he could do about it. He’d have to find a way to make it up to her later.
“You can cook?” Gina asked.
He nodded and picked up the pan. “Of course,” he said, flashing her a smile. “I’m just an all-around talented guy.”
By their second night together, Connor had Gina eating out of the palm of his hand. She sauntered over to where he was laying and asked, “This spot taken?”
Connor patted the ground beside him. “I was holding it f
or you,” he replied. “Here, let me get that.” He stood and unrolled her sleeping bag beside his. He could feel her checking him out, so he took his time at it, flexing as he shook the bag out.
Once she was situated in her bed Gina’s attention roamed across the clearing to where Liberty and Ashley had bedded down. “Looks like my baby brother is trying to pick up you excess baggage,” she said.
Connor tried not to scowl as he watched the outline of Jeff’s body creep through the dark and unroll his sleeping bag beside Liberty. “I think he’s a bit young for her, but if she wants to go cougar …” He shrugged. “That’s her deal.” He climbed into his sleeping bag.
Gina chuckled. “Jeff probably just wants to talk to someone about his feelings or some nonsense like that.” She turned to Connor. “Were you and Liberty a thing?”
Connor gave her another shrug, knowing she would have picked up on the astronomical amounts of tension between them and suspected something. “She was the only woman I had come across in a while. You can’t blame a man for being lonely.” He leaned closer to Gina. “But now …” he whispered. “Well, I’m still lonely.”
“Really?” She licked her lips. “You don’t have to be.”
“Oh?” He scooted closer until their bodies were touching. “Do tell.”
Gina’s fingers slid down to the neckline of his shirt. “People like us, we have to stick together and keep each other from being lonely.”
“People like us?” he asked. “But I hardly know you.”
Even though it was dark, he knew Gina was smiling. Every woman just wanted to be valued, and she was no different. “So tell me about yourself. What makes the delectable Gina tick?”
“There will be time for that later,” she said. Then her thin lips landed on his. She pushed her tongue inside of his mouth, obviously attempting a deep passionate kiss. But there was zero chemistry between them. The kiss could only be described as disappointing; like expecting a Red Ryder BB gun under the Christmas tree, but finding a lump of coal instead. He froze, wondering how to recover. Should he kiss her back or just pray it ended quickly? Before he could decide, she leaned away.
Gina turned on her side, facing away from him.
Knowing he’d lost ground by not reacting to her horrid kiss, Connor rolled over onto his back and stared at the stars, wondering how to get her to open up to him.
Just when he was about to give up for the night and go to sleep, Gina spoke. “Jeff thinks the collapse could have been prevented,” she said.
“Really?” Connor asked, not actually caring about anything Jeff thought, but trying to encourage her to talk.
She turned back toward him and nodded. “He’s one of those share-the-wealth types. Says that if the companies wouldn’t have been so greedy, then things wouldn’t have gotten so bad.”
“A lot of people said that,” Connor replied. “What do you think?”
“I think he’s a fool. The economy was scheduled to collapse. It was necessary.”
Uh … okay? “Necessary for what?” he asked.
“Connor, you’re a smart man. Surely you noticed the excess of useless people in this country. On this entire planet, in fact. So many people just wasting oxygen. It was never meant to be like this.”
“Like what?” he asked.
“Political.” She traced a line down his arm with her fingertips. “We were born to rule, not to be ruled over by self-inflated windbags who misuse our resources. The collapse was perfect. A golden opportunity for the strong to rise up and conquer the week. It gave us our chance to take center-stage and run the show our way for once.”
Connor wanted to scoot away from her. He didn’t like the places this conversation was heading. “Who are you really with?” he asked. This was a poker game and he wasn’t winning her over with his bluff, so it was time to show her his cards. “I know we’re being followed. It’s not just you and Jeff. There are others. Who are they?”
Leaves rustled nearby.
Connor grabbed his Glock and aimed in the direction of the noise.
Gina placed a hand on his arm. “It’s okay. They’re just like you and me; strong survivors. Now put the gun away and don’t be stupid. There are dozens of them.”
Comprehension froze the blood in his veins. “You—”
“It’s okay. Just give me the gun and no one will get hurt.” She held out her hand expectantly.
She’s unarmed. His eyes swept the perimeter of the camp. Thick bushes, trees; people could be hiding anywhere. Dozens?
Three shadows emerged from the bushes with weapons aimed at Connor.
Gina rubbed his arm soothingly. “We have plans. Big plans,” she said. “And we want you to be part of them. I’m sorry it had to be like this. It doesn’t change anything between us. Daddy just needs to talk to you first.”
Connor’s jaw dropped. “Your father?” He shook his head. “You said you didn’t know where your father was.”
She shrugged. “Yeah, well, I lied. Get over it. Quickly if you know what’s good for you.”
Her hand stilled on his arm and her voice hardened. “Think Connor. You’re not the only one who will die tonight if you struggle.” She glanced toward the girls.
How could I be so stupid?
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
WHY WOULD HE— Where did they— My head swam with incomplete thoughts and questions. Oh, Ash. I stared at Connor’s sleeping daughter. His daughter. How could he leave his own daughter? Tears started to cloud my eyes, but I willed them away. I will not cry over that selfish, heartless, arrogant … The thought of delivering the words that would bring Ashley more pain made me sick to my stomach. Wish he’d been man enough to tell her himself! God? You there? I could really use some help here.
The call remained silent. But that was normal. I’d gone over a year in high school without feeling it. It was irritating, but typical not to hear from Him for extended periods of time. Answerless, I broadened my shoulders and woke up the little girl.
“What’s wrong?” Ashley asked the minute she saw my face. Then she glanced around the area, confusion and fear blossoming in her eyes. “Where is everyone?”
“Gone,” I replied. My heart hurt too much to say more.
“What do you mean, ‘gone’?” She stood and looked around. “Gone where?”
“Just gone.” My shoulders hunched under the massive defeat I felt. “All we have is this.” I pointed at the message left where Jeff’s sleeping bag had been.
“Forgive him? He’s not even here to forgive! What about Connor?” She ran to the area where he had slept. “He didn’t leave a message?”
“I’m sorry.” The tears I kept denying battled me for the right to fall. “If he left us a clue, I can’t find it.”
Ashley searched the area again and again. I watched her, reminded of all the times I’d scoured my purse looking for the car keys I knew were locked in my house.
At least she still has hope.
“He wouldn’t— he can’t—” Her small frame shook with anger. “He promised!”
I bit down on my tongue until it bled, but it didn’t stop the tears from falling. “I’m sorry.” If Connor had been standing in front of me at that moment, I could have shot him without hesitation.
“He wouldn’t do this!”
But he did. I started rolling up my sleeping bag—nothing to do now, but keep moving forward. Our abandoners had also escaped with the food bag, but I couldn’t bring myself to divulge that additional information. Can I pick a man, or what? Since I’d considered taking Ashley and leaving Connor, I should have been happy about his disappearance. I’d gotten what I wanted, after all. But as I packed up my stuff, I felt no joy nor relief. Instead, I felt hollow.
“He’ll be back. I know he will.” Ashley paced while I packed. “We can’t just leave. We have to wait for him.”
“He’s not coming back.” I rolled up her sleeping bag. “We need to get to Canada.”
“No.” She crossed her arms and stuck
out her stubborn jaw. “I won’t leave without him.”
Hope can be an extremely unhelpful personality trait. I shoved Ashley’s sleeping bag into her pack and handed it to her. When she made no move to take it, I set it on the ground. “I know you’re hurting, but we can’t stay here. I’m leaving, and if you want, you’re more than welcome to join me.” Then I started walking toward my bike, knowing if I didn’t movie, I’d lay down and give up. But if Ashley didn’t follow me, I would not leave without her. Please don’t call my bluff.
My heart lightened when I heard the pitter-patter of her feet behind me.
* * *
biked north on Highway 9 until we reached an extremely big lake, unimaginatively named Big Lake. The day was warming up, but Ashley was not. The only noises that came from her direction were made by her bike. I was the one who remained, so I was the unfortunate recipient of her anger.
Annoyed by her silent treatment, I stopped my bike and turned on her. “Look, I’m doing the best I can. I’m angry too. I’m confused and disappointed and … and all the things that you’re feeling right now. I feel them too. I don’t know why he left us. I can’t make him come back. I’m sorry, Ash. If he was here now, I would shoot him, or stab him, or at least kick him really hard. But he’s not here. So what do you want me to do?”
Tears rolled down her face. “I’m sorry, Libby. I know … I just …”
I laid down my bike, walked over, and held her while she sobbed.
“I could have gotten to like her. I would have tried.” Her words were spoken between hiccups.
“No.” I squeezed her. “This is not about you. And we don’t know for sure. They may have taken him.” Yeah right. Mrs. Perfect and Jeff … I winced. I liked Jeff.
Ashley continued to weep.
“We’ll be okay, I promise.” I patted her back. “I’m not going anywhere without you.”
Rescuing Liberty: Perseverance Book 1 Page 17