by Wu Cheng-En
“What caused them then?” Sanzang asked.
“There's a village not far ahead,” Monkey replied, “where the people are so pious that they're steaming white rice and white breadrolls to feed monks with. I think that the mist must have been steam escaping from their steamers. It was the result of their goodness.”
When Pig heard this he thought Monkey was telling the truth, so he grabbed hold of him and whispered, “Did you eat their food before you came back?”
“Only a bit,” Monkey replied. “The vegetable dishes were too salty-I didn't want to eat too much.”
“Screw that,” said Pig. “I'd eat my fill of it however salty it was. If it made me really thirsty I'd come back for a drink of water.”
“Would you like some?” Monkey asked.
“Sure thing,” Pig replied. “I'm hungry and I'd like some now. What do you think?”
“You mustn't even talk about it,” said Monkey. “As the ancient book says, 'When the father is present the son must do nothing on his own account.' Our master, who's as good as a father to you, is here, so none of us should dare go ahead.”
“If you'll say nothing about it, I'm going,” replied Pig with a grin.
“Let's see how you do it,” Monkey replied. “I'll say nothing.” When it came to eating the idiot knew a thing or two.
He went up to his master, made a loud “na-a-aw” of respect, and said, “Master, elder brother has just told me that there are people in a village ahead of us who feed monks. Just look at that horse. It looks as though it's going to start playing it up. We'll be causing a lot of trouble if we have to ask for grass and other fodder for it. Luckily the wind and the clouds have gone now, so why don't you all sit here for a while while I fetch some tender grass? We can go and beg for food from that house when we've fed the horse.”
“Splendid,” said the Tang Priest with delight. “I wondered why you've become so hardworking today. Be as quick as you can.”
Smiling secretly to himself the idiot started out. “Brother,” said Monkey, catching up and grabbing hold of him, “they feed monks all right, but only good-looking ones.”
“In that case I'll have to change again,” said Pig.
“Yes,” said Brother Monkey, “you change.”
The splendid idiot, who could perform thirty-six transformations, went into a hollow on the mountainside, made a spell with his hands, said the magic words, shook himself and turned himself into a short, skinny monk, beating a wooden fish-shaped dram with his hand and mumbling, “Oh great one, oh great one,” because he knew no scriptures to recite.
After putting away the wind and the mist the evil spirit ordered all his devils to form a circle round the main road, ready for any travelers. The idiot's luck was out, and he was soon inside the trap and surrounded by the devils, who grabbed at his clothes and his silken sash as they all crowded in on him together.
“Don't pull,” Pig said. “You can let me eat in all your houses in turn.”
“What do you want to eat, monk?” the devils asked. “You feed monks here,” Pig replied, “and I've come to be fed.”
“So you're hoping to be fed, are you, monk?” said the demons. “You don't seem to realize that what we like doing best here is eating monks. We're all evil immortals who've found the Way here in the mountains, and the only thing we want to do is to catch you monks, take you home with us, pop you in the steamer till you're tender and eat you. And you're still hoping for a vegetarian meal!”
At this Pig's heart was filled with terror, and he started complaining about Monkey. “That Protector of the Horses is a crook. He lied to me about them feeding monks in this village. There aren't any villagers here and there's nobody who feeds monks. They're all evil spirits.” The idiot was being tugged at so hard that he turned back into himself, pulled the rake out from his belt and struck out wildly, driving all the junior devils back.
They rushed back to report to the senior demon, “Disaster, Your Majesty.”
“What disaster?” the senior demon asked.
“A neat-looking monk came along in front of the mountain,” they replied, “so we decided to catch him and steam him. We were going to keep what we couldn't eat now for a bad day. Then to our astonishment he transformed himself.”
“What did he turn himself into?” the senior demon asked.
“Not into anything human,” they replied. “He's got a long snout, big ears, and a bristly mane on his back. He lashed out furiously at us with a rake that he used two-handed. He gave us such a terrible fright that we've run straight back to report to Your Majesty.”
“Don't be afraid,” the senior demon said. “Let me go and have a look.” Swinging his iron mace he went up for a closer look and saw that the idiot really was hideous. This is what he looked like:
A snout like a husking hammer over three feet long;
Tusks like silver nails protruding from his mouth.
Two round eyes that flashed like lightning;
A pair of ears that made a howling wind when they flapped.
The bristles behind his head were rows of iron arrows;
All of his hide was rough and green and scabby.
In his hands he held an amazing object:
A nine-toothed rake of which everyone was afraid.
Summoning up his courage, the evil spirit shouted, “Where are you from? What's your name? Tell me at once and I'll spare your life.”
To this Pig replied with a laugh, “So you can't recognize your own ancestor Pig either, my boy. Come closer and I'll tell you:
For my huge mouth and tusks and mighty powers
I was made Marshal Tian Peng by the Jade Emperor,
Commanding eighty thousand marines on the River of Heaven,
And happy amid all the joys of the heavenly palace.
Because when drunk I fluted with a palace lady
I decided to play the hero for a while.
One butt from my snout destroyed the Dipper and Bull Palace;
I ate the magic mushrooms of the Queen Mother of the West.
The Jade Emperor himself gave me two thousand hammer-blows,
Made me an exile from the world of Heaven.
This made me determined to nourish my spirit,
And become an evil monster in the lower world.
Just when I had made a good marriage in Gao Village
Fate brought me up against my brother Monkey.
He subdued me with his gold-banded cudgel;
I was forced to bow my head and enter the Buddhist faith.
I do the heavy work, saddle the horse and carry luggage:
I must have been the Tang Priest's debtor in an earlier life.
As the iron-footed Marshal Tian Peng my surname was Zhu;
My name as a Buddhist is Zhu Bajie.”
When the evil spirit heard this he shouted, “So you're the Tang Priest's disciple. I've long heard that his flesh is very tasty. You're one of the people I most want to catch. I'm not going to spare you now you've fallen into my clutches. Stay where you are, and take this from my mace.”
“Evil beast,” Pig replied. “You must have been a dyer before.”
“What do you mean, I must have been a dyer?” the evil spirit asked.
“If you weren't a dyer, how come you know how to use a pestle?” Pig retorted, and with no further argument the monster was upon him, striking furiously. They fought a fine battle in the mountain hollow:
A nine-toothed rake,
An iron mace.
As the rake went through its movements they were like a howling gale;
The mace's skilful blows came as thick and fast as rain.
One was an unknown ogre blocking the mountain road;
The other was the offending Tian Peng now guarding his true nature's master.
When one's nature is right monsters cause no fear;
When the mountain is high earth cannot come from metal.
One fought with his mace like a python from a pool;
&
nbsp; The other's rake was like a dragon from the waters.
Their angry shouts shook mountains and rivers;
Their mighty roars caused terror down in hell.
Each of the heroes displayed his prowess,
Staking his life on his magical powers.
We will say no more of how Pig set a mighty wind blowing as he fought the evil spirit, who ordered his junior devils to keep Pig surrounded. Instead the story tells how Brother Monkey suddenly gave a bitter laugh behind the Tang Priest's back.
“Why are you laughing like that, elder brother?” Friar Sand asked.
“Pig really is an idiot,” Monkey replied. “As soon as he heard that they feed monks there he fell for my trick. He's been away a long time now. If he'd beaten the evil spirit with a single blow of his rake you'd have seen him coming back in triumph by now, loudly insisting on his great victory. But if the demon's been too much for him and captured him my luck's out. Goodness only knows how often he'll have cursed the Protector of the Horses behind my back. Say nothing while I go to take a look around, Wujing.”
With that the splendid Great Sage, who did not want the venerable elder to know what was happening, quietly pulled a hair out of the back of his head, blew on it with magic breath, said “Change!” and turned it into his own double to stay with the master together with Friar Sand. Then his real self disappeared as he leapt up into the air to look around. He saw the idiot lashing out wildly with his rake at the devils who were surrounding him and gradually getting the better of him.
This was more than Monkey could bear. Bringing his cloud down to land, he shouted at the top of his voice, “Take it easy, Pig. Monkey's here.” Recognizing that it was Monkey's voice gave the idiot a chance to be more ferocious than ever as he hit wildly forward with his rake. The evil spirit was no match for him.
“You weren't up to much before, monk,” he said, “so how come you're so fierce now?”
“You'd better stop bullying me now, my lad,” Pig replied. “I've got one of my people here now.” A moment later he was swinging wildly again with the rake. The evil spirit, unable to stave off the blows, led his devils away in defeat. As soon as Monkey saw that the devils had been beaten he drew no closer but went straight back on his cloud, shook the hair and put it back on his body. With his mortal, fleshly eyes the Tang Priest noticed nothing of this.
Before long a triumphant Pig returned too, so exhausted that his nose was dripping with snot as he foamed at the mouth and was panting loudly. “Master!” he called.
When the Tang Priest saw him he exclaimed in astonishment, “Pig, you went to fetch some grass for the horse. Why have you come back in so terrible a state? Were there watchmen on the mountain who wouldn't let you cut any?”
The idiot flung his rake down, beat his chest and stamped his feet as he replied, “Don't ask me about it, Master. If I had to tell you I'd die of shame.”
“What would you be so ashamed of?” Sanzang asked.
“Elder brother tricked me,” Pig replied. “He told me that it wasn't an evil spirit behind that wind and mist. He said there was nothing sinister about it, but that it was from a village where the people were so pious that they were steaming white rice and breadrolls made with white flour to feed monks with. I believed him. As I was so hungry I thought I'd go ahead to beg for some. Fetching grass for the horse was only an excuse. I never expected to be surrounded by a crowd of evil spirits. They gave me a hard fight, and if Monkey hadn't helped me out with his mourner's staff I'd have had no hope of escaping and getting back here.”
'The idiot's talking nonsense,” said Monkey, who was standing beside them, with a smile. “If you've taken to robbery you're trying to get a whole gaolful of people into trouble. I've been looking after the master here. I've never left his side.”
“It is true,” Sanzang said, “Wukong has never left my side.”
The idiot then sprang up shouting, “You don't understand, Master. He's got a double.”
“Is there really a monster there, Wukong?” Sanzang asked. Monkey could keep his deception up no longer.
“There are a few little devils,” Monkey replied with a bow and a smile, “but they won't dare give us any trouble. Come here, Pig. I'm going to look after you. We're going to escort the master along this steep mountain path as if we were an army on the march.”
“How?” Pig asked.
“You'll be the commander of the vanguard,” Monkey replied, “going in front and clearing the way. If the evil spirit doesn't show up again that will be that; but if he does, you fight him. When you beat the evil spirit that'll be something to your credit.”
Reckoning that the evil spirit's powers were much the same as his own, Pig said, “Very well then. I'm ready to die at his hands. I'll take the lead.”
“Idiot,” said Monkey, “if you start by saying such unlucky things you'll never get anywhere.”
“As you know, brother,” Pig replied,
“When a gentleman goes to a banquet
He gets either drunk or well filled;
When a hero goes into a battle
He gets either wounded or killed.
By saying something unlucky first I'll make myself stronger later.” This delighted Monkey, who saddled the horse and invited the master to ride while Friar Sand carried the luggage as they all followed Pig into the mountains.
The evil spirit meanwhile led a few of his underlings who had survived the rout straight back to his cave, where he sat brooding in silence high up above a rocky precipice. Many of the junior devils who looked after things in his household came up to him and asked, “Why are you so miserable today, Your Majesty? You're usually in-such high spirits when you come back.”
“Little ones,” said the demon king, “usually when I go out to patrol the mountains I can be sure of bringing home a few people or animals I've caught to feed you with. Today my luck was out: I've met my match.”
“Who?” the junior devils asked.
“A monk,” the demon king replied, “a disciple of the Tang Priest from the East who's going to fetch the scriptures. He's called Zhu Bajie. He went for me so hard with his rake that he beat me. I had to run away. I'm thoroughly fed up. For ages now I've heard it said that the Tang Priest is an arhat who has cultivated his conduct for ten successive lifetimes. Anyone who eats a piece of his flesh will live for ever. To my surprise he's come to my mountain today, and it would have been an ideal time to catch him, cook him and eat him. I never realized he'd have a disciple like that one.”
Before he had finished saying this a junior devil slipped forward from the ranks. First he gave three sobs in front of the demon king, then three laughs.
“Why sob then laugh?” shouted the demon king.
The junior devil fell to his knees as he replied, “Because Your Majesty just said that you wanted to eat the Tang Priest. His flesh isn't worth eating.”
“But everyone says that a piece of his flesh will make you live as long as the heavens,” said the demon king. “How can you say that it's not worth eating?”
“If he were so good to eat,” the junior devil replied, “he'd never have got this far. Other demons would have eaten him up. And he's got three disciples with him.”
“Do you know who?” the demon king asked.
“The senior disciple is Sun the Novice,” said the junior devil, “and the third disciple is Friar Sand. The one you met must have been his second disciple Zhu Bajie.”
“How does Friar Sand compare with Zhu Bajie?” asked the demon king.
“He's much the same,” the junior devil said,
“What about Sun the Novice?” the demon king asked, at which the junior devil thrust out his tongue in horror and replied, “I daren't tell you. That Monkey has tremendous magic powers and can do all sorts of transformations. Five hundred years ago he made terrible havoc in heaven. None of the heavenly warriors dared give him any trouble, from the Twenty-eight Constellations, the Star Lords of the Nine Bright Shiners, the Gods of the Twelve
Branches, the Five Officers and the Four Ministers, the East and West Dippers and the Gods of the North and the South, to the Five Peaks and the Four Rivers. How can you have the nerve to want to eat the Tang Priest?”
“How do you know so much about him?” the demon king asked.
“I used to live in the Lion Cave of the demon king on Lion Ridge,” the junior devil replied. “He was reckless enough to want to eat the Tang Priest, and that Sun the Novice smashed his way in through the gates with his gold-banded cudgel. It was terrible. They were wiped out. Luckily I had enough sense to escape by the back door and come here, where Your Majesty allowed me to stay. That's how I know about his powers.”
The senior demon turned pale with shock when he heard this: it was a case of the commander-in-chief being afraid of the soothsayer's words. How could he help being alarmed when he heard all this from one of his own people? Just when they were all feeling terrified another junior devil stepped forward and said, “Don't be so upset and afraid, Your Majesty. As the saying goes, easy does it. If you want to catch the Tang Priest let me make you a plan to capture him.”
“What plan?” the senior demon asked.
“I have a plan to 'divide the petals of the plum blossom.'”
“What do you mean by 'dividing the petals of the plum blossom?'“ the demon king asked.
“Call the roll of all the devils in the cave,” the junior devil replied. “Choose the best hundred from all thousand of them, then the best ten out of that hundred, and finally the best three out of the ten. They must be capable and good at transformations. Have them all turn into Your Majesty's doubles, wear Your Majesty's helmet and armor, carry Your Majesty's mace, and lie in wait in three different places. First send one out to fight Zhu Bajie, then one to fight Sun the Novice and finally one to fight Friar Sand. This way you'll only have to spare three junior devils to draw the three disciples away. Then Your Majesty will be able to stretch down from mid-air with your cloud-grabbing hand to catch the Tang Priest. He'll be in the bag. It'll be as easy as catching flies in a dish of fish juice. Nothing to it.”