by Sasha White
“I think they’re fighting Abaddon and Apollyon.” Or they were dusted. I decided not to mention that possibility, because it was all too possible and I didn’t want to think about it.
“I see. Black Angel One advised. May I suggest that Black Angel Two be ready to assist?”
My conversation with the Count had everyone’s attention. Well, it would save time. “You may.” Miriam and Magdalena both nodded, but made no move to leave. “However, until Black Angel One either doesn’t respond or calls for backup, Black Angel Two plans to stay with our teams.”
“Teams?” the Count asked politely.
I brought him up to speed quickly. “So we’re going to have to split up into several teams to tackle everything.” I refrained from adding “unless we have to go save Amanda and Maurice” because that would mean Black Angels One and Two were in need of assistance, and that was never a sign of good times ahead.
“I see.” The Count was quiet for a few moments. “Carry on.”
Somehow, I’d expected something more from him than that. “Uh, okay. Will do.” My wrist-com went dead.
Ralph was the first one to speak. Well, first he did the canine throat-clear, but right after that, he spoke. “Did that seem…odd to anyone else?”
“Very much,” Monty said. As the being with us who’d known the Count the longest, this held a lot of stressful weight.
I looked around. Everyone was nodding in agreement, even Jack, Freddy and Sexy Cindy. “So, what’re we thinking? The Count’s got a lot on his mind or we’ve got an infiltration and he’s trying to give us a hint?”
“Oh, I’d go with infiltration,” Monty replied. “It’s always a favorite.”
“Who could infiltrate that place?” Jack asked.
I thought about it. Sexy Cindy had made the point that Jack and I could be considered part of the group who were part of Slimy’s attack. And the stronger minions had serious skills. We probably did have eighteen doppelgängers walking about. They just were now unlikely to all be Tomio copies.
“I have a sinking suspicion, Jack, that you and I not only could infiltrate, but did.”
“Great.” At least he didn’t sound freaked out. “How do you fight a doppelgänger?”
“You don’t touch yours, for starters,” Edgar said. “Touching your own duplicate is dangerous at best and normally permanently fatal.”
“Oh. Good.” Jack shook his head. “What kills them?”
“Same things that kill us. That’s the one positive.”
“Yeah, I’m feeling the positive in the situation.” Jack sighed. “So, you and I have to engage the doppelgängers, right?”
“How do you figure that?” Ken asked him.
I answered. “We’re the only ones who can be sure we’re really us.”
“Good point. What’ll the rest of us be doing?” Ken looked ready to fly off and fight something.
“You’ll be dividing up into teams to handle all the other issues we’ve got.”
“You know, they’re doing a very good job of dividing us,” Martin said.
“And potentially conquering, yeah, I know.” The base of my tail wanted a word. “However, what they may be doing is trying to get us away from here, right here. Meaning we want to stay here and continue investigating The Pleasure Palace.”
“Shouldn’t you and Jack be the ones to do that?” Ken asked. “You’re the only two who we could laughingly say have a reason to go in that isn’t related to the undead world.”
As always, Ken had a point. A good point.
H.P., Monty and Edgar were all nodding, as were the angels. “So, Ken’s right, as per usual. So, how do we stop the likely doppelgängers at Enforcement?”
Gretel raised her paw. “Send me, Hansel and Ralph. No matter what they look like, the dupes don’t smell right. Close, but not close enough.”
This was true. “Okay, let’s make that happen.” The three of them did an intense scratch and sniff on me and Jack, minimal scratch, maximum sniff. Then they took off.
“Think they’ll be okay?” Jack asked me.
“Probably better than we’ll be.”
“Comforting. Remind me to make sure that, should we have kids, you leave the nurturing parts to me.”
Chapter 28
I left Ken in charge of group divisions. He could do it as well as me, and I wanted to get into The Pleasure Palace and out again as soon as possible. However, Jack and I didn’t go alone. I insisted on taking Freddy and Sexy Cindy with us.
They weren’t thrilled, at least if their grumbling as we walked out of the alley was any indication. “Okay,” I snapped once we were in front of the bridal shop. “Want to tell me why you don’t want this assignment?”
“I told you, I don’t like that place,” Sexy Cindy whined.
“Hell’s no fun, either, but some of us have to venture there on assignment. I’ll wager there’s not a lot of fun being had at Enforcement HQ right now, but you didn’t hear that team whining about it.”
“We’re dead,” Freddy snapped. “And you want to take us in with you to someplace we never went anyway.”
“You’re undead. It’s different and, by now, you both know it. Besides, I don’t care if you never went there before – you’re going in there now to give me and Jack a believable reason to follow you.”
“How are we going to be believable?” Sexy Cindy asked. “We’re undead.”
“You don’t look it,” Jack said. “I can’t tell the difference between what you looked like alive and now. Your brain’s working better, but if no one in there knows you, Cindy, they won’t notice you’re not acting like a moron all the time. Same with Freddy. You haven’t been undead long enough to have that gray-around-the-edges look H.P. has. You look better than you have in years, but you still look like a bum.”
“Uh, Jack? Maybe we’ll leave the nurturing of potential young to me after all.”
Freddy sighed. “No, he’s got a point. The Indoctrination people –”
“Beings. We’re beings. Of everyone with us now, Jack is the only person.”
“Got it. You teach at the University on your off days?” Freddy asked with far more sarcasm than I thought necessary.
“No. It’s just a big deal, okay? At least half of us were people, at one time, and we’re not any more. We’re beings. Only living humans get to be called people.” It bothered me that it still bothered me, after all these years, but it did. I’d been a person, and I wasn’t any more. I moved my mind off the past quickly. “So, anyway, you two need to wander in and look like you’re trying to get away from the cops. We’ll be pretty much right behind you.”
“What have we done to get you interested in us?” Sexy Cindy asked, sounding a little less sulky.
“We’re asking questions about Anthony Tomio,” Jack replied. “You don’t know anything, but you don’t want to be questioned, either.”
They both nodded, looking unhappy. “Those expressions are good. Add in some fear, too. You know, just figure that if you can’t manage to do this one little assignment you’ll probably get to work with us a lot…and we’re both really hard on rookies.”
“Wow, this unlife’s so great,” Freddy said. “We both feel really lucky.”
“We should,” Sexy Cindy said in a low voice. “You saw the others.”
He sighed and took her arm. “You’re right. We’ll head off and do our act, such as it is. Just don’t wait too long to come after us. Cindy’s not the only one who never wanted to go into that place.”
Jack and I watched them hustle off. “What’s our plan once we get in there?” he asked when they were far enough away they couldn’t hear.
“I think this falls under the ‘wing it’ line of attack. We know this is Evil Headquarters, for this part of town, at least. That something’s going on is a given. What or who we’re going to find in there is the issue. I just have no guess.”
We started off after our “quarries”. “You think Abaddon and Apollyon are in the
re?”
“Yahweh protect us if they are.” I meant that, and ensured I said it in a way Yahweh would recognize as prayerful, not flippant.
“I second that. So, do bullets actually work on the undead?”
“Some of us, yeah. I’d bring in our real weaponry, but I think it’ll be spotted the moment we cross the threshold. Gotta assume Evil HQ has some serious weapons detectors on their entryways.”
“So we packed the trunk full for no reason?”
“Oh, I’m sure we’ll end up using it. Just not at this exact moment.”
“Okay, so you want us acting like we would have two days ago, right?”
“Right. Human cops, hunting a perp, following clues.”
“Think they’ll fall for it?”
“Well, I’m sure some of them know who I am or will be able to tell I’m a werewolf. But who knows? Most of life and unlife’s a crapshoot, when you get down to it.”
“The undead gamble?”
“You have no idea. Unlife is long, and even the most dedicated like to take a night off. Gambling with undeads is a little different, though. If we ever catch a break in this case, I’ll take you to one of my favorites, The Crypt.”
“Looking forward to it.” He stopped us before the corner, pulled me into a doorway, and kissed me. He was a great kisser, and my butt was doing its thing in a matter of seconds. He stroked my face as he pulled slowly away. “I never thought I’d have a chance with you.”
“I felt the same way.” I had to admit, Slimy had been a precursor to the major evil, but he’d certainly given my love life a huge assist.
He sighed and stepped away. “Back to work.”
I nodded and we headed off. Turned the corner, walked briskly up the street, making sure to look very undercover cop-like. Rounded the next corner. No sign of Freddy or Sexy Cindy. This street was almost like an alley. The street our favorite alley led off of was a main street, well-traveled in the day. This one, however, while running parallel to the bigger one, was infrequently used. I wondered now if the humans were being affected by The Pleasure Palace in some way, sort of psychically driven away. Maybe. We’d probably know soon enough.
There weren’t a lot of people on the street, either. There was a large parking lot across the street from The Pleasure Palace, well filled with a variety of cars there from the standard lowlife POS to sleek BMWs and Mercedes. Whoever was doing business here covered all the walks of life. There were also a lot of dingy buildings that had clearly seen better days, perhaps when Prosaic City had first been founded. Most of them looked closed, not at night, but in general.
Our side of the block was the same, and I noticed the storefronts around The Pleasure Palace – most of them had “out of business” signs in the windows. I checked the other side of the street. Yep, I could spot the little signs if I squinted. Aside from The Pleasure Palace, only two businesses on the entire block were still active – one was Killjoy’s Pawnshop, and the other was, against all the odds, The Salvation Center.
“We need to check those two out, the moment we have a chance.”
Jack nodded. “I worked this beat when I was a uniform. Never really went into any of these much, if at all, but they’ve all been here for years.”
“How about the other businesses? Here or out of business when you worked a beat?”
He looked around. “The block hasn’t changed. At all.”
“Bad sign.” We reached the front door of The Pleasure Palace. I felt absolutely nothing from it. It smelled almost like it wasn’t there, and it gave off no sense of anything. “Definitely under a spell,” I murmured. “I get nothing.”
“Huh. I…want to go in. It’s like it’s…welcoming me.”
“Worse sign.” I made him look at me. “You need to be very careful in here. It repelled Cindy and Freddy, it’s giving nothing to me, but it’s attracting you. Whatever that means in the long or short run, your soul’s in danger the moment we step in.” I wanted to tell him to wait on the street, but I knew what he’d say.
“No.” He grinned. “I can tell you want me to stay here. I’m not letting you go in alone. Two days ago, we wouldn’t have had this conversation, we’d have just walked through the door. So that’s what we’re doing to do now.”
With that, he turned the knob. Interestingly, the door opened in, not out. Jack stepped through and, praying to Yahweh and suggesting that, if he had pals around they keep an eye on us, too, I followed.
Chapter 29
Like every dive bar or club in every city or town, The Pleasure Palace had no windows. It was dark and murky, and smelled of tobacco, booze, and a variety of other scents, most of them indicating squalor and decadence.
Unlike most other dives, it was huge. I thought about the rest of the block and realized it had taken over the buildings on the side that didn’t have the pawnshop. It easily stretched to the end of the city block. The walls were dark red, the lighting leaned towards the red side, and the furniture was all black. They had a theme, all right.
Music was playing, loudly. This wasn’t unusual in a dance club, but most dive bar denizens liked lower volumes. I didn’t recognize the song but I did recognize that it wasn’t recorded by any act a normal human would have heard of. The lyrics were in Latin, and they weren’t nice lyrics, either. Humans who wanted to accuse heavy metal rockers of being Satanists should have taken a listen to this – this was truly evil music, and it bore the same resemblance to heavy metal as I did to a Pekinese.
Also unlike most dives, it was packed. There were people everywhere, mostly men but more than enough women, and they didn’t all look like they were in the Sexy Cindy Sisterhood. Some of them were in suits and had clearly come with men in suits, and probably in the Beemers and Benzes.
I sniffed deeply. Every drug known to mankind was in evidence. Every liquor and burning substance, too, other than sage and cedar. No cleansing scents were allowed in here, that was clear.
Jack and I shoved through the patrons. I couldn’t see Freddy or Sexy Cindy, but I could smell them. Because they were afraid and they were the only ones in here who were. No one looking at me and Jack gave off the smell of fear, which was proof, as if we needed it, that this place was bad to the bone. No one, no matter how cool or deadly, doesn’t feel a twinge of fear when a cop shows up, at least no normal human. But these weren’t normal humans, not by a long tail.
I grabbed Jack and headed for the other half of our team. They were huddled in a booth in the back, in the corner, and in the dark. Before Jack had been born there had been a song with those lyrics. It had no relationship to our current situation, but it did remind me that I had a couple of hundred years on him. It didn’t feel like it when we were together, though. He’d been a cop longer, and he was so incredibly male that it didn’t matter.
I dragged my mind back to the situation. I could get moony about Jack later. We needed to ensure we all had a later.
We reached the booth and both Freddy and Sexy Cindy looked relieved. “Took you long enough,” Freddy said quietly.
I put my back against the wall and took another long look around. No one, literally no one, was paying any attention to us. “You getting what I’m getting?” I asked Jack.
“Total lack of interest in the police? Yeah. By the way, to ease your troubled mind, now that we’re in here, I don’t feel anything.”
“Nothing at all?”
“Normal revulsion, desire to burn the place down, strong wish to make arrests. Standard cop feelings. But nothing else. Other than a longing for nose plugs. This place reeks.”
“Tell me about it,” Sexy Cindy muttered. “Can we go?”
Before I could answer that, someone slithered over. Sure, he walked, but it was slithery walking, the kind of walking that only certain beings can do – and none of them are human. He was slender, had slitted eyes that slanted up, very little nose, and a wide, smiling mouth. However, I didn’t need more than his walk to know what he was.
I moved in front of Ja
ck and the others. Not because I was trying to make Jack think I was as tough as Black Angel Two, but because the chances of any of them knowing what to do when a lesser snake-demon attacked were slim to none.
But the snake-demon in front of me just smiled even wider. “No reason to fear,” he said, the “s” in “reason” slightly elongated. “We welcome all here.”
“I’ll bet.” I decided to just go for it. “We’re looking for a drug dealer named Anthony Tomio. Seen him lately?”
“I am Ishtrallum, the owner of this establishment, here to help you. However, I prefer to know who I’m speaking with.” Every “s” elongated. He sure wasn’t trying to hide what he was.
“Again, I’ll bet. Shockingly, I don’t plan to tell you. Tomio, you seen him lately?”
The fake smile disappeared. “No. Look, I don’t like cops in here unless they’re here for a good reason. You’re not.” He waved at Freddy and Sexy Cindy. “Take your flunkies and get out. Unless you’re all on your night off and here for a good time. In which case, happy to assist.”
“Where’s Tomio?
“Don’t know, don’t care. His tab’s paid up, and that’s all I care about in regard to a human.” Against what I would have thought possible, Ishtrallum’s eyes narrowed. “What’s this really about? Our taxes are paid up, I own the building, and there’s nothing illegal going on here.”
I managed not to bark a laugh. “There’s nothing legal going on in here, and you know it.”
Ishtrallum shrugged. “True. However, the cops leave us alone. You looking for a payoff?”
This wasn’t going exactly how I’d figured. “Uh, no. We’re looking for Anthony Tomio. And…some other beings.”
He shrugged again. “Tomio’s not here. Feel free to search the place. If you don’t want a bribe, a drink, or anything else we offer, why don’t you search fast and leave faster?”
“When did you see Tomio last?”
Watching a lesser snake-demon roll its eyes is always fun. “Look, bitch – and I mean that being-to-being – I’m just trying to make a living here. I do well, keep myself out of trouble, and provide what the patrons want. The cops on this beat never bothered me. Why are you?”