A lover of art, Luke was familiar with Sasha Knight’s work and had even purchased one of her abstract pieces a year ago. Who knew he’d be sharing this moment with the talented artist?
He shook his head, rubbing his hand over the top of his hair and down to the back of his neck. Hell, he had shared a whole lot more than a moment with her. And all this time she never said a word. Never let on that she was Sasha Knight.
That twinge of annoyance from earlier slowly turned into anger. How could she not tell him? He felt like a damn fool. All this time and he never knew. He should’ve been able to figure it out himself. The signs were there. The evasive responses to his questions regarding some of her travels; her desire to visit practically every art gallery in New York, and her obsession with Sasha Knight. He should have known.
Luke glanced at Christina. “Our last night in New York, at the art gallery, you asked me what type of person I thought Sasha Knight was. Do you remember what I said?” Christina gave a slight nod. Luke turned back to the painting in front of him. “Like then, I think her talents shine through in the landscapes and abstract work, but there’s something about the nudes that reveal a different side of her. She’s someone who pays attention to details and there’s passion. Raw, unbridled passion seeping from the canvas. I also remember saying that she’s someone who is clearly comfortable with her sexuality, whatever that might be.”
“You also said that she probably lived in California, maybe Venus Beach.”
Luke turned back to Christina just as she diverted her gaze to the floor, but he didn’t miss the small smile on her lips.
“I always thought you were amazing. Your quiet spirit, your ability to see the positive in any situation, and your sunny personality, but this …” He waved his hand around the small room, “This is astounding.”
A crimson color rose to her cheeks and that shy smile that he had missed like crazy graced her beautiful face. Even with very little makeup, the woman was gorgeous.
“Thank you,” she said quietly. “I feel alive when I paint, whether on walls or canvas.” She lifted an abstract painting from a drop cloth laid across part of the floor. “I use paint to express myself. When I’m happy, I usually paint landscapes, kids, or animals. When I have a lot on my mind, it’s abstract. The darker my mood, the darker the colors.”
Again, Luke took in the various paintings strewn around the room, zoning in on the ones that were dramatically dark. It looked as if he hadn’t been the only one living the past three months in a dark space. Her mood might have been displayed in her paintings, but he knew another way she expressed herself. He had never been with a sexual partner who was as passionate and free in bed as Christina. One of many aspects of their relationship he missed.
“What do you feel when you paint nudes?” he asked, unable to stop himself.
She thought for a moment. “Passion. Peace. Freedom.”
Silence filled the room, both engrossed in their own thoughts. What he didn’t understand was why she felt she couldn’t tell him about this side of her. Why couldn’t she share such an important part of her life with him?
“Why are you hiding behind your talent? Why paint under a pseudonym?”
*
Now for the moment of truth. How would she explain her reasons for keeping a secret? A secret from him as well as her family? Christina didn’t know if Luke would ever forgive her deceit, but she had shared this much, she might as well tell him everything.
“Why don’t we continue this conversation in the living room?” She moved to the door, her hand hovering over the light switch. Finally, Christina had shared this part of herself with someone other than Jada. It felt good. It felt right.
Again, Luke stood in front of her favorite painting, the one that she would never sell. She wondered if he knew. She wondered if he knew that their time together had inspired the piece.
He turned suddenly and moved toward the door, but stopped short before crossing the threshold. Glancing back, he took one last look before heading back into the living room.
He knew.
“Can I get you something else to drink?” Christina asked and relocked the bedroom door.
“No, I’m good. Thanks.” He reclaimed his spot near the window where he stood when they first arrived. She grabbed a bottle of water for herself, noticing his mood had changed. The tension bouncing off of him was undeniable and could be felt clear across the room.
“What I don’t understand is why this is a secret.” He turned toward her but maintained his distance. “You’re a gifted artist. I could see if you were an operative or if you were CIA, but there’s no danger of revealing to the world, that you’re the talent behind that amazing work.”
Pride swelled in her chest. Knowing that he thought she was talented, meant more to her than she ever imagined. Suddenly keeping this part of her life a secret from him didn’t seem warranted.
“You don’t know the Jenkins family. My grandfather to be more specific.” She played with the cap of her water bottle, spinning it on the granite countertop. “Since we were little kids, it has been drilled into us that family comes first. What we do in public or behind closed doors can affect the family. That we shouldn’t say or do anything that would cause negative attention on the Jenkins. I don’t even want to think about how he would react to my nudes.”
“But you only recently started painting nudes.”
“I only recently started sharing my nudes with the public. I’ve been painting them for a while.”
“I guess what I’m asking is why didn’t you share your work with your family early on, when you were only doing landscapes and abstract?”
“I was afraid my family wouldn’t be supportive, wouldn’t accept my creativity. They didn’t support my father. When he was younger and announced that he wanted to play the drums and the saxophone professionally, he received a lot of pushback from the family. They made comments like – don’t quit your day job and keep dreaming. Besides, painting on the side and making a name for myself, feels a little disloyal.”
Luke’s brows drew together. “How so?”
Christina tried to think of a way to explain what she felt. Luke didn’t come from a large family and wouldn’t understand the dynamics. “My family has invested a lot into the company, as well as a lot of time and money into me. We work together in one capacity or another to build the Jenkins family brand. To build the Jenkins family empire. That company has been the foundation for all of us as it relates to first jobs. Giving us an opportunity to gain experience, learn a trade and to get further ahead financially than most people our age.” She paused thinking about how supportive her family had always been in most aspects of her life. Doing her own thing as an artist, with all of the traveling, as well as her latest shows displaying her nudes, she didn’t think this part of her life would go over well.
“I know I only met your family a couple of times, but they seem extremely supportive of each other. I still don’t understand your concern.”
“I want to tell them, but if they shun my work or think I’m wasting my time, I don’t know if I could take the rejection. Whenever I put a piece out there for sale, I brace myself for the negative feedback. I don’t think I could handle it if my family weren’t supportive of this.” She shrugged. “So I’ve been keeping this part of my life to myself. Well, actually you and Jada know.”
Luke took a deep breath in and released it slowly. When he looked up, their gazes collided. It was as if all the air had been sucked out of the room. The first time they met, there was an immediate attraction and what she saw swimming in his brown eyes now, felt like so much more. Heat spread through her, and every cell tingled as his gaze caressed her like a soft feather.
God she had missed him. She missed everything about him, especially his touch and his deep, toe-curling kisses. Their intellectual conversations from discussing the controversy around one of Robin Thicke’s songs to disagreeing about the Affordable Care Act, was something else she miss
ed. Never had she been in such a thoroughly fulfilling relationship than she had when they were together. And their sex life…whew. The man made every nerve ending in her body sing. They fit together perfectly in more ways than one.
She wished he would say something.
“You didn’t trust me enough to share this part of your life with me.”
Okay, maybe she liked it better when he wasn’t saying anything. But he was right. Her art was so close to her heart that she wasn’t willing to let anyone close to her have a chance of shooting down her dream.
“It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you.”
“Then what was it?”
“I guess I wasn’t ready to share this part of my life with anyone. Besides, my family doesn’t know. I couldn’t see telling someone I was dating about Sasha Knight, before telling them.”
“So why now? Why bother telling me, especially if you still haven’t told them?”
“I miss you.” The words flew out of her mouth before she had a chance to think. After the conversation with Jada, Christina knew that if she wanted another chance with Luke, another chance at love, she had to be straight with him. “Not telling you about this was the biggest mistake I ever made.”
He looked away. She wanted another chance with him, but at this point, there was nothing else she could do. Their fate was up to him.
He shoved one hand into his front pocket and rubbed the other hand over his forehead. “For the first time in my life, I don’t know what to say. When you refused to tell me why you wanted to stay in New York, I honestly thought you were seeing someone else. I’m glad to know that wasn’t the reason, but this new information doesn’t excuse the fact that you lied. I opened my heart and my home to you, only to find out you’ve been lying, keeping something important from me.”
Luke might not have come out and said it, but Christina knew part of his reaction had to do with all that he had already lost. He had once told her that one of the reasons he had avoided relationships was because he couldn’t stand the thought of losing someone else.
“I’m sorry … for everything,” she moved toward him but stopped when he shook his head and rubbed his eyes.
“I can’t help but wonder what other secrets you have. If you were willing to keep something this small from me, how do I know you’re not harboring other secrets? Bigger secrets.” He glared at her. And just that fast a nice evening had quickly veered south.
“This wasn’t a small secret.” Christina’s insides vibrated with anger. “Sasha Knight is a big part of who I am. My creative outlet. All it would take is for one person that I love to belittle what I do, and wipe out any creativity that I have. So forgive me if I held that secret close to my heart. And anyway, I could say the same thing about you keeping secrets.”
Confusion showed in his eyes. “Excuse me?”
“You say that you left New York for a quieter, simpler life, but I have a feeling there’s more to it. Much more. I’ve come clean with you. The only way this,” she pointed back and forth between them, “is ever going to work is if we put everything on the table. No more secrets.”
When he didn’t respond, Christina had her answer. He was definitely keeping something from her. She walked to the door and opened it.
“Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Good night, Lucas.” She used his given name, always preferring it over his nickname.
He hesitated. His eyes were steady on her as seconds ticked by. Finally, he moved toward the door but stopped short.
“Oh and don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.”
Christina slammed the door the moment he cleared the threshold.
Asshole.
Chapter Seven
Days later, Christina pulled into the driveway of Zack and Jada’s estate, still pissed at Luke. Her cousin insisted that some retail therapy is what Christina needed to get out of her funk. Unlike Jada, Christina didn’t much care for shopping unless it included a trip to a thrift shop or an antique store.
She climbed out of the car and walked along the cobblestone walkway trying to free her mind of Luke. She didn’t know why she was still mad at him. It was her fault for withholding information. No, actually, she did have a good reason for still being angry. He acted like a complete jerk the other night. Well, maybe not a complete jerk, but a jerk nonetheless. At first, her heart sang inside her chest at how impressed and complimentary he was of her work, but the way he left was unforgivable. Sure she could understand that he was hurt that she had lied to him. Okay, she had lied more than once, but still. She had a good reason. She wasn’t totally confident in her abilities as an artist … yet. She couldn’t afford to have anyone, especially him, derail her mission of being a world renowned artist. All it would have taken was for him to say the wrong thing and she might’ve given up.
“Are you coming in?” Jada stood at the open door, her hands on her hips and a frown covering her ruby red lips. Christina hadn’t realized she rang the doorbell or that Jada had opened the door.
She stepped into the house without saying hello or anything else. Instead, she made a beeline to the half-bath off of the family room, slamming the door behind her. The door barely closed before she burst into tears. Normally, she wasn’t a crier, but at the moment she felt as if her heart had been ripped from her chest and stomped on over and over again. She hadn’t shed this many tears since the day after Luke had left New York. But the other night, she had been more angry than sad, calling him every name but his own.
Letting the lid of the toilet seat down, she sat on it, propped her elbows on her knees and buried her face in her hands. The smell of lavender from the air freshener sitting on the counter should have been calming, but the scent did nothing to make her feel better.
Jada knocked on the door, calling out Christina’s name for the first few minutes before she eventually walked away. No sooner than she left, Christina jumped at the loud pounding on the other side of the door.
“CJ?” Zack yelled. “You need to let us know if you’re okay otherwise this door is coming down!”
Christina had no doubt that the former football star would plow through the door if Jada asked him to.
“I’m fine. I just need a minute.” Christina sighed with resignation. Actually, she needed more than a minute. Days would have been a more accurate estimation.
Fifteen minutes later, she had finally pulled herself together enough to leave the bathroom. She opened the door to find Jada standing in front of it with a container of their favorite butter pecan ice cream. How many nights had she shared a tub of ice cream with Jada? Christina didn’t care what anyone said. Butter pecan ice cream was the cure for any ailment.
Jada handed Christina the container, a long handled spoon sticking out of it. “I can’t remember the last time I saw you cry and I didn’t know what else to do. And don’t worry,” another spoon miraculously appeared from behind Jada’s back, “you won’t have to eat alone.”
Christina laughed through her tears and accepted the ice cream as well as a hug from her cousin. The small gesture was making her feel better already.
They ate and talked in the family room about practically everything under the sun. The one topic that was off limits though – Luke. Jada had made the mistake of mentioning his name during part of the conversation and Christina had abruptly broken into tears again. Granted she knew some of her sadness was from the way things ended the other night, but part of her emotional state was from lack of sleep.
“Jada,” Zack called from upstairs. “Can you come here a minute?”
“I’ll be right back.” Her cousin stood and hurried from the room.
Minutes later the doorbell rang. When Christina didn’t hear anyone going to the door, she wondered if Jada or Zack heard the bell.
“CJ, get the door,” Jada called out.
On the way down the hall, Christina spotted herself in a mirror and shivered at how puffy and red her eyes were. “Oh great, I look a mess.” She rubbed the smeared mascara fr
om under her eyes with the back of her index finger and blinked several times. Despite her efforts, she still looked as if she had spent the last hour crying.
Christina swung the front door open and immediately regretted not looking to see who’d be standing on the other side of it. If only there were a large boulder somewhere that she could hide behind. Seeing Luke, looking good enough to eat, she felt like she was going to start crying all over again.
“What’s going on? What happened?” He said in a rush when he walked into the house, not taking his concerned gaze from her face. His hand went to the back of her neck and pulled her into his chest, holding her tightly. Christina didn’t know what the heck was going on, but at the moment, she didn’t care.
“You’re what happened you idiot!” They both jerked apart to find a scowling Zack standing in the middle of the foyer with Jada close by his side. Christina took a step away from Luke and quickly swiped at a wayward tear crawling down her cheek. “Do you see the tears in her eyes? She looks like that because of your ass.” Zack pointed his finger at Luke. “So you need to fix whatever the hell is going on! Now!” Her cousin-in-law snatched his keys from the counter and reached for Jada’s hand, pulling her toward the kitchen. Christina didn’t miss the Cheshire grin planted on her cousin’s lips. “And set the alarm if you leave before we get back.”
We’ve been set up. Her cousin had always been sneaky, but this stunt outshined any of her previous ones.
*
Luke cursed under his breath and wiped his hand slowly over his mouth, letting it rest on his chin. His gaze met Christina’s teary eyes and his heart lurched in his chest. Never had she cried in his presence and the thought of him being the cause of her tears tore him up inside. She looked about as bad as he felt. The last two days had been hell. Now he understood why Zack had called him in a fit of rage, telling him that he needed to get over there ASAP because something had happened to her. Luke had never been so scared in his life, thinking the worse.
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