by New Yorker
Good reader, ho, it’s me once more,
Your careworn super at the door,
With mop in hand and heated face:
The work I do around this place—
Sweep out the bygone Christmastimes,
Unkink the twisted lights and rhymes,
Dig out the trusty metaphors,
Re-Fezziwig the chimes and floors,
And make this joint look nearly new
For partyings (though déjà vu)
With friends and neighbors we wish well
On the occasion of Noël.
No tip! My pleasure! Let’s begin
With hugs for Ursula K. Le Guin.
Fellow-creatures, near or far,
We hail you each, and Caleb Carr.
How neat it is to be the bearer
Of greetings for our friend Jim Lehrer;
Happy days, Hideo Nomo,
Sheryl Crow, and Andrew Cuomo.
Ah, there, Dr. Rudy Crew,
David Hare, Elisabeth Shue—
Peace, you chaps, and also pax on
Miranda Weese, Samuel L. Jackson,
Ivan Klíma, and (though sadly)
Departing Senators Nunn and Bradley.
Warm wishes from this august bureau
To Kazuo Ishiguro;
The same to you, Tegla Loroupe,
Joanna Trollope, and Quincy Troupe.
Let blessings rain, all touchy-feely,
To cheer up Hurricane McNeeley,
And laurel leaves in heaps or layers
Around Cal Ripken, prince of stayers;
And with him Tim Biakabutuka,
Young Marzoratis (Guy and Luca),
Jon Bon Jovi, Susan Lucci,
Jenny Jones, and Leo Nucci.
Descend, bright angels, in a band,
Upon Viswanathan Anand,
With Christmas music just for him
And Jane Smiley and Mary Grimm.
Tweet the flute and sound the oboe
For Dr. Ruth, Rebecca Lobo,
Joseph Volpe, Jose Mesa,
Joan Chen, and Mother Teresa,
All whilst some higher heralds—hark!—
Let drop their chords on Marcia Clark.
And carols (or enhanced CDs)
For Jeanne Calment and Morris Dees,
Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, the brave Nobelist,
And Yo Yo Ma, cherubic cellist.
Come Christmas, gang, it’s understood,
We rollerblade the neighborhood—
Arm-in-arming, happy campers
Bearing toys or laden hampers.
Here a wreath and there a parcel,
Now a fractured metatarsal!
Backward! Sidewise! What can match it?
Each of us a flying Cratchit
Spreading gifts and some dismay
Among our friends this special day.
Bill Gates (Wie geht’s?), strap on your skates
And we’ll go sweep up Kathy Bates,
Julie Just, Andie MacDowell,
David Bouley, and Alma Powell.
Without ado, without a care,
We’ll grab the hand of Deirdre Bair
And chain along in cheerful flow
To drop a toy on Coolio,
A negligee for (yay) Fay Wray,
Some tricks from Schwarz for Ricky Jay,
Plus geese to grace the groaning board
Of Geoffrey Beene or Geoffrey Ward,
Unless, by luscious scents beguiled,
We press a call on Julia Child—
Though pausing first to just say hi
To B. B. King, R. B. Kitaj,
Isaac Mizrahi, Sharon Stone,
Fiona Shaw, and John Malone.
Home from these amusing labors,
We’ll bask in asked-in Labs and neighbors
And, circled round by lights and kith,
Toss down a warming noggin with
Lauren Holly, Beverly Cleary,
Christopher Reeve, and Timothy Leary.
Then party on in larger units
Around the tree with Stanley Kunitz,
Mo Vaughn and Mira Sorvino,
Daniel Okrent, Dan Marino,
Jimmy Smits, Lois Smith Brady,
Ridley Scott, and Scott O’Grady.
To fling the old year’s glooms away,
We’ll bring in Penny Hardaway,
King Hussein, and Suzanne Farrell,
Cigar, Pixar, and Crate & Barrel,
Each Met and Jet, Rockette, et cet.,
And da Guarneri String Quartet!
The clock’s run down, our verse is done:
A happy New Year, everyone!
Rhymees, readers (gentle allsome!)—
Pals, we pine for you and balsam
At Christmastide and through the fleeting
Hours until our next year’s meeting.
Till then, old friends, what we beseech
Is peace and blessings, all and each.
1995
(photo credit 53.1)
THE MODERN LIBRARY EDITORIAL BOARD
Maya Angelou
•
A. S. Byatt
•
Caleb Carr
•
Christopher Cerf
•
Charles Frazier
•
Vartan Gregorian
•
Richard Howard
•
Charles Johnson
•
Jon Krakauer
•
Edmund Morris
•
Azar Nafisi
•
Joyce Carol Oates
•
Elaine Pagels
•
John Richardson
•
Salman Rushdie
•
Oliver Sacks
•
Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr.
•
Carolyn See
•
William Styron
•
Gore Vidal