by Joanna Wylde
Awesome.
I’d hung out with these people. Laughed with them. Eaten their food. Now I was the ex-girlfriend to one of their own—one whose truck I’d destroyed. One who might’ve gotten secretly murdered by the Reapers. Probably not, but… Oh, and then there was the bruising. Nothing awkward here, nothing at all.
Denial, I thought. Denial will save me. Everything is good and at the end of the night, Bone will give all three waitresses shiny baby bonus unicorns because we’re so Goddamned friendly and efficient.
I really needed to get a new job.
“I’ll be right with you!” I shouted out, heading back to the bar to put in Shade’s order. At least Bone was smart enough not to gloat over the fact that I’d given in and served the Reapers.
I’d have hit him over the head with my tray.
Fortunately, things got busier after that, and while I was still keeping an eye on the Reapers, the bar was hopping for a Thursday night, which meant I didn’t have much time to worry. By ten, it was clear this wouldn’t be one of those evenings that we closed down early, even if it was a weeknight.
This was a good thing, too, because I liked money.
It also meant I was too busy running my ass off to think about the Reapers beyond making sure their drinks stayed full. Sara managed Rebel’s club, who stuck to the front of the bar. Combined with my new philosophy of denial, this worked pretty well right up until I ran into his president’s old lady in the bathroom.
We’d met before, of course. Her name was Amelia. She was at least twenty years older than me and she had a nice smile.
Except she wasn’t smiling at me in the mirror.
Nope.
She was watching me patch up the pancake makeup I’d used to hide the bruising. I nodded, then washed my hands, desperate to get away before she had the chance to say something along the lines of We all hate you now because you fed Rebel to the Reapers.
Not that I had, but I couldn’t exactly expect his friends to take my side in this whole thing.
“You’re Mandy, right?” she asked. I nodded, noting she looked harder than I remembered. Hard in that skinny, wiry way that led me to believe she could kick my ass in a fight. “I heard about what happened.”
“Um, yeah,” I said, grabbing a paper towel. “Look, it wasn’t—”
“Rebel’s a moron and none of us are going to miss him,” she said bluntly, catching me totally off guard. “The guys wouldn’t say that, of course. I shouldn’t even be talking to you about it, but this is awkward for everyone. What he did was a mark against our club and he’s out bad. I’m sorry you got caught up in it.”
I blinked, because whatever I’d expected her to say, this wasn’t it. My mouth opened because I wanted to pepper her with questions. There were layers here. Layers that didn’t quite make sense to me…but did I really want to know the answers?
I thought about Heath Andrews again and what it would feel like to get interrogated by him.
“Thanks,” I said instead. Then I left the bathroom and went back to work.
“Time for a break,” Bone told me an hour later as I passed him a tray of empties. It was just after eleven-thirty and he’d already sent Sara back for a rest.
“I’ll be in the office,” I replied, enjoying the thought of putting up my feet for a few. God only knew how late we’d stay open—hours at the Pit more or less followed the customers, and we could be here until two at this rate. Sara came up next to me.
“Anything I need to know?” she asked.
“The guys at table four are pretty fucked up,” I told her. “We may need to cut them off soon.”
Sara sighed, because cutting off customers was never fun.
“I’ll do it,” Bone said. “They’re part of the riding club, which means their brothers might cause trouble.”
“Thanks,” Sara said, flashing him a quick smile.
“That’s so sweet of you, Bone, stepping in like that. You know, you’re wasted as a manwhore,” I told him. “You’d make some lucky girl a wonderful boyfriend.”
Sara burst out laughing and Bone growled.
“Break. Now.”
I blew him a kiss and started toward the back of the bar, pointedly ignoring the corner full of Reapers. I might have to serve them drinks, but my break time belonged to me alone. My purse was locked up in Bone’s office and I planned to grab it so I could touch up my makeup again.
I was halfway down the hall when the back room door opened and Shade stepped out, blocking my path.
“Hey, babe,” he said, giving me a slow smile that made my ovaries combust.
“I’m not interested in talking to you,” I said firmly. He ignored the words, sliding his hand into my hair to grip me tight for a deep, hard kiss that seemed to block out all other kinds of reality. How was I in his arms again? Wonder Woman would be so disappointed. I was vaguely aware that he’d tugged me into the room, but only fully grasped the situation as he kicked the door shut behind us. Then he was lowering me down onto a table, kicking my legs apart with his and pushing forward until my core touched the hard length between his legs.
It felt amazing. Whole body tingling type stuff.
This was when I really should’ve kicked him in the crotch.
Instead, I found myself tugging his shirt free from his jeans, sliding my hands up along the hard muscles of his back. Shade’s tongue shoved deep into my mouth. Bursts of want and desire and raw need filled my body with fire, until it felt like I’d burn up entirely unless the empty ache between my legs was filled. Christ, no wonder he’d called me a cock tease. Every time he came near I melted into a puddle of hormonal glee.
Shade pulled back, panting as he stared down at me. I read all the same things I was feeling in his eyes. Whatever this was between us, it wasn’t one sided and I wasn’t the only one blown away.
“You can’t tell me this isn’t happening,” he said, the words torn harshly from his throat. I wanted to deny it but I couldn’t.
“I’ve never felt anything like it in my life,” I admitted. He growled, all savage satisfaction at my admission. Then his hand twisted hard in my hair, bringing his mouth back down over mine. But kisses—even kisses as good as these—weren’t enough anymore. My fingers dragged down his back, scoring deep as I demanded more. I wanted his mouth on my breasts, his hands between my legs…his cock deep inside. This was crazy and stupid and against everything I’d planned, but it felt so good.
So incredibly good.
Shade groaned as my nails drew blood, rearing back to slide his hands up and under my shirt. Then he cupped my breasts through my bra, fingers teasing the nipples. The intensity of feeling was almost more than I could take. My back arched and I moaned, ready to beg, when the door opened.
“Oh, shit! I had no idea. I’m so sorry!” someone said. Sara. It was Sara. She’d walked in on us, just like anyone could walk in on us because I was halfway to fucking a man I barely knew in a bar on my break.
Holy.
Fucking.
Shit.
Reality crashed down around my ears as I pulled away, mortified. Shade growled, catching me by the waist and jerking me back into his body.
“No.”
“Yes,” he said, eyes narrowed. “You want this. I want this. There’s no fucking reason on earth we should stop.”
“No,” I said again, daring him with my eyes. “You don’t get to decide. I get to decide and I am not doing this at work where anyone can walk in on us.”
Triumph flared in his expression, throwing me off guard. Then I realized what I’d said. Crap. “I meant we aren’t doing this at all. I don’t want a man in my life.”
He shoved a hand down my pants, sliding past my panties to dip a finger into the hot crevice between my legs. I gasped as he rubbed my clit, my back arching as he slid deeper. Then his hand was out again. Holding my gaze steadily, he lifted his fingers to his mouth and slowly licked one.
“Tastes good,” he whispered. “Tastes like you want me. I
think you’re lying, princess. You want it and you want it bad.”
My entire body clenched because he was right. I wanted him real bad. So bad it hurt.
“Let me go,” I said, the words causing me physical pain. “You’re sexy. You know that. And maybe I do want it. But I can’t afford any more mistakes. I have responsibilities and a life that you’ll ruin if you touch it. I can’t take the risk.”
There was frustration written all over Shade’s face, but he took a step back, the tiny muscle in his jaw clenching as he fought for control. I pushed myself upright, straightening my shirt as I tried to catch my breath.
“I need to get back to work,” I gasped. “This is all a game for you—it’s about getting laid—but it’s my life. I have to take care of my family and you’re getting in the way of me doing that.”
“Bone won’t fire you for taking a longer break. Not if you’re with me. I’m the fucking president of the Reapers MC—nobody stands in my way.”
“You don’t get it,” I said, closing my eyes. I couldn’t look at him. Not like this. He was too sexy and I’d forget why I was fighting him. “It’s not about what I can get away with. It’s about who I am. I’m a good worker and I don’t slack off. And maybe I was stupid enough to let myself get distracted by Rebel, but that doesn’t mean this is my new reality. I’m getting my life on track again. Right now, I’ve got a job and I’m going to do it the best I can. This is nothing more than a game to you, anyway, so go find someone else to play it with.”
We stared at each other for long seconds. Then Shade turned and stalked out of the room. I flopped back down on the table, lifting my legs to lie on my side in a fetal position.
Fucking hell but I needed a new job.
Fast.
It took me nearly ten minutes to pull myself together and get back to work. By that time the Reapers were gone.
Thank you, sweet baby Jesus.
“You okay?” Sara asked as I grabbed my tray.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I told her, although I felt like I’d gotten hit by a truck. “Shade and I…”
“I know,” she said. “These guys… You can’t control them. They’re like a force of nature.”
“I never asked for this,” I insisted. “I didn’t mean to catch his eye and now I don’t know how to get rid of him.”
“Just keep going,” she said, watching Bone with pain-filled eyes. “He’ll get bored. They always do. All of the fucking men in this place do.”
I glanced toward Bone, who was leaning forward against the bar, flirting with yet another girl. One I hadn’t seen before.
“Why do you stay?” I asked her. Sara gave me a startled look.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s got to hurt, watching him like that.”
“Where am I supposed to go?” she admitted. “There’s no other jobs in this fucking town. Am I supposed to work for Handsy Randy, the friendly town drug dealer down at the gas station? I know you’re related, so no offense.”
“None taken,” I said with a sigh. “But you could leave. It’s not like you’re married or have kids or anything tying you down.”
“My grandma,” she replied quietly. “She raised me. Now I’m the only one she has left. Maybe someday when she’s gone… But for now, this is where I stay. This is my place. And maybe I do have a thing for Bone, but I’ve been there, done that.”
“Really?” I said, startled. “You’ve slept with Bone?”
“Hon, everyone has slept with Bone,” she replied, shrugging. “That’s the problem. And that’s why you can’t let yourself get hung up on Shade. If it was me, I’d just go for it. Have fun while you can and then walk away. It’s easier than fighting.”
I stared at her, stunned. Sara was always full of energy, always smiling, always ready for the next challenge. Or so I thought. In that instant, though…she looked tired. Tired and sad.
That’s why you can’t give in. Because he’ll leave you like that. Sad and alone.
“You girls gonna clear those tables and serve more drinks or what?” Bone shouted. I caught Sara’s hand, sharing a quick squeeze, then grabbed my tray to go clear the Reapers’ empties and wipe down their tables. That’s when I found the money, a stack of hundred dollar bills, just sitting out on the table like it was a perfectly normal and appropriate thing.
I grabbed the cash, counting it carefully, my heart starting to clench. Five hundred dollars.
Five.
Hundred.
Dollars.
The Reapers had been drinking all night, but this wasn’t some city bar. Drinks were cheap here at the Pit. Even factoring in all they’d ordered, there was no way this could be right. I stuffed the money in my apron pocket and then scurried over to Bone, feeling almost sick to my stomach. He was still chatting up his girl but I didn’t care—we needed to figure this out, and fast.
“How much was their tab?” I hissed at him. Bone raised a brow.
“Whose?”
“The Reapers!” I snapped, as if there could be any other answer.
“About two hundred,” he said. “But they already paid.”
I pulled the wad of cash out of my pocket.
“Shade left this on the table,” I told him. “What do I do with it?”
Bone shrugged. “Put it in your pocket. He left it for you.”
“I can’t keep a tip this big,” I insisted.
“Well, I suppose you could try giving it back,” Bone said. “But I got a feeling he wouldn’t take it. This is his game, Mandy. If you’re smart, you’ll make the most of it while you can.”
“I don’t want to play,” I insisted. “I don’t like this game. I don’t understand the rules.”
“Then you better leave town,” Bone replied, his voice serious. “Otherwise you got to play it out to the end. There’s no in between when it comes to the Reapers. You want to fight with him about it, be my guest, but I think you should take the fucking money. God knows you need it, so use it.”
He turned back to his girl, giving her a slow smile that left me with no doubt how his night would end. I glanced over to find Sara watching us. She gave me a shrug, and I realized Bone was right.
I needed the money, just like everyone else in this shithole of a town.
Goddamn but Violetta sucked, and so did the Reapers MC.
By the time I finished my shift, I was exhausted. Not just the normal tired that came from being on my feet all evening, but from taking care of the girls and the fact that I’d been up the night before dealing with Rebel and Shade.
It was just too much stress in too short of a time.
Not only that, I felt the weight of the money sitting in my apron pocket the entire time. Men didn’t just give waitresses tips like that. It was too much—way too much. And the fact that it matched the amount he’d offered Rebel for sleeping with me…well, let’s just say the implication wasn’t comforting.
Back home, I tossed and turned on the couch for several hours, unable to sleep. By four in the morning I gave up, stepping out onto the porch to look up at the night sky. Summer was short in Idaho, which meant there weren’t many nights a girl could sit outside and look at the stars without freezing her ass off, but this was one of them. Everything was still and peaceful. For a few minutes, I pretended I was living in a world where bad things didn’t happen to innocent people.
Except they did.
I’d gone to jail because my ex-husband had robbed a liquor store while I sat waiting in the car outside like a moron. My sister was barely surviving on food stamps and Medicaid because her ex was a loser who couldn’t be bothered to support his kids. And I had five hundred dollars in my pocket that I couldn’t explain—five hundred dollars given to me by a man who’d almost certainly done worse things than my ex ever dreamed of doing.
Money that might implicate me in some crime I couldn’t even imagine. He hadn’t left me a tip—he’d left me a ticking time bomb.
I pulled out the cheap phone Shade had given
me and powered it on, searching for his contact information. Then I sent him a text.
Me: Thanks for the tip but I cant keep it. I’ll put it in an envelope and leave it with Bone. You can pick it up the next time ur at the bar. I cant get involved with a man like you so take it back
I hesitated for an instant before hitting send, then stuffed the phone back in my pocket, resolved. Then I lay back down on the porch and studied the stars. They really were gorgeous. Bright and beautiful and glorious and free. I’d only spent three nights in jail, but it’d felt like three years. I’d missed the stars most of all, which had surprised me. I never considered myself much of a nature girl. I guess you don’t realize how much something matters to you until you lose it.
The phone buzzed in my pocket.
Shade: Keep the money.
Me: No I cant. You seem to think I’m not serious when I say I don’t want a man but I am. I want to work and earn my money and take care of my sister. You don’t know me and you don’t know all the reasons I feel this way but they’re real and that should be enough.
Shade: Then tell me.
Yeah, right. Like I’d be sharing my past with him. No fucking way I’d give him more leverage over me. I turned off the phone and looked back up at the stars, wondering if I’d ever truly be free.
Probably not.
Pisser.
Chapter Ten
Friday morning
“Can we take some ice cream with us?” asked Callie.
“No way,” I told her, rolling my eyes. “Ice cream will melt at the park.”
“Not if we bring a bag of ice cubes with it,” she insisted, looking determined. “Mommy loves ice cream.”
“I think the sandwiches will be enough,” I told her. “And Mommy is trying to eat healthy, remember?”
Callie sighed heavily, making it clear that I was the meanest auntie in the history of time. Maybe she was right. This suited me just fine, seeing as I was also the brokest and most confused auntie, too. I’d defiantly put the $500 in an envelope and left it with Bone, determined to ignore Shade the next time he came to the bar.