‘My God,’ he said, in a voice just above a raspy whisper.
‘I know—they’re awful.’
Leo’s fingers reached, traced along the incision marks. He shook his head. ‘The My God wasn’t about the scars, Sunshine.’
Sunshine was having trouble catching a thought, her breath. ‘Then...what?’
‘My God, you are so beautiful. And my God, I am itching to put my hands all over you.’
‘Then do it,’ she whispered. ‘I have no intention of stopping you.’
His fingers tensed against her flesh. And then, with both hands, he reached for her shoulders, sliding his hands under the kimono, pushing it back until the heavy fabric dropped with a quiet whoosh to the floor. He stood gazing at her.
Sunshine kept absolutely still, watching him as his nostrils flared, his hands fisted at his sides. It was both torture and delight to stand motionless as lust shimmered between them. Leo was still fully clothed, and that somehow made her feel more wanton, sexier. Her nipples were hardened points; she could feel them throbbing. Could feel a swelling between her legs as his gaze moved over her. Down, up, down. The suspense was almost unbearable. And yet she wanted the delay. Wanted to draw things out. Slow everything down so that she could wallow in this overwhelming need caused by nothing more than his eyes on her.
Then both his hands moved. With the tips of his trembling fingers he touched the centre of her forehead. Slowly his fingers moved to the bridge of her nose, across her eyebrows, down her cheeks to her mouth, her jaw, neck, collarbones. When he got to her breasts he paused at her nipples to circle and pinch. Her knees almost buckled. But inexorably his hands moved again, fingers sliding across the long, straight scar that ran over her ribs, down to her hips, across her belly, then to the juncture of her thighs.
He stopped there. Looked intently at her bare mound, licked his lips. ‘Very, very pretty,’ he said.
Both hands slid between her legs, fingers playing there while her breathing quickened.
‘I think we’ve found a place for my tongue,’ he said, suddenly finding that one excruciatingly sensitive nub, focusing there.
‘Are you going to take off your clothes?’ Sunshine asked breathily as his fingers continued to tease her.
‘Yes. But first...’
His fingers shifted, exploring her, dipping and sliding and slipping, but always returning to that one tiny place. Sunshine gasped again. Her legs were trembling as he continued to work her, pinching, stroking, rolling, lunging into her.
‘Ah, Leo— God!’ Sunshine cried out, and came suddenly, with a long groan.
Her head dropped back as his fingers continued to caress her, soothing now, and then one hand cupped her possessively, stilled.
Easing away from her, he started removing his clothes with short, efficient movements. The leather jacket was shrugged off and dropped to the floor. Sweater and then T-shirt were ripped over his head. Boots were yanked off. Jeans shoved down, kicked aside.
Good Lord. He was...divine. Not a steroid-pumped muscle in his whole body. Just perfectly defined, hard, lean lines of strength. Broad shoulders. Beautifully crafted biceps. Smooth, hairless, sculpted torso with that wonderful V leading to his groin. Narrow hips. Long legs. And the jut of him, big and hard, rising from that gorgeous dark blond nest, was mouth-watering. She wanted her mouth there. And her hands. And the inside of her.
‘Come here,’ he said. ‘I want to feel you all over me.’
Sunshine thought she might swoon, just hearing the words—except that she was desperate to take him up on that offer. She wanted to be all over him.
She walked into his open arms and they closed around her. The top of her head didn’t even reach his chin, and the feeling of being cocooned, surrounded by him, was glorious.
‘You feel good there.’
‘I feel very good,’ she said throatily, and he laughed. ‘And so do you,’ she added as his erection nudged her belly. ‘We can get that part of you a little closer, I think.’
‘No rush tonight,’ he said. ‘If we only have three assignations left I’m going to make them count. So...now I’d like to see you spread out on that Taj Mahal bed.’
He edged her backwards, reaching out to push the hangings aside, following her down onto the bed, kissing her as he lay on top of her.
For one fraught moment he slid between her thighs, held still, teasing both of them with the promise of the length of him as it pulsed there against her wet opening. He buried his face against her neck and sucked in a breath, another, one more.
‘God, it’s hard to wait,’ he groaned against her hair.
‘Then don’t,’ Sunshine said, shifting to try and get him to slip inside.
He withdrew. ‘I want to play with you for a while first. And this time we won’t forget the condom.’
With great concentration he arranged Sunshine on the bed against the cushions, raising her arms above her head so that her breasts were tightened and jutting, the chain she always wore caught between them.
He kissed her eyelids closed and then put his mouth at the corner of hers, his tongue flicking out to taste. She gasped, and his tongue slid smoothly inside her mouth, swirled once, then retreated to lick at the corner again. He kissed down her chin, her throat, then...nothing.
She opened her eyes to find him sitting back on his heels, looking at her. ‘What’s wrong?’ she asked.
‘Nothing,’ he said. ‘I just like looking at you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen skin as pale as yours. And these...’ His hands reached out, hovered over her breasts. ‘I’m almost scared to touch in case I come in three seconds.’
‘I want you to come.’
‘No—don’t move your arms,’ Leo ordered, and his hands settled on her breasts, squeezed gently, massaged. ‘God. God, God, God...’ he said, and it really did sound like a prayer.
He lowered his head and closed his lips over one nipple, sucked it sharply so that she moaned.
He stopped instantly. ‘Sorry—but you’re driving me crazy. Did I hurt you?’
‘No,’ she said, her legs moving restlessly. ‘I just want you so much. So much,’ she wailed as his mouth sucked hard again.
He commenced a steady rhythm, tugging, tonguing, pulling back to lick.
When he shifted to the other breast she couldn’t help herself—her arms came down to circle him, to pull him closer, closer.
‘Come inside me,’ she whispered. ‘Please, Leo.’
He shook his head and started moving lower. He stopped again as his mouth touched the scar. He pulled back to see it, then touched it gently with his fingers, running them over the length of it, then across the dissecting scar that ran perpendicular to it, across her ribs towards her back.
Sunshine held her breath, waiting for...what? She didn’t know. Didn’t want to believe that it mattered, what he thought of her imperfections. All that mattered—all that could matter—was the promise of the orgasm flickering low in her belly.
And yet she didn’t release her breath until he moved again, kissing his way to her mound. He stopped again. Shuddered out a breath against her. Then he was kissing her there, over and over again.
‘Beautiful. Delicious,’ he murmured in between licking kisses, his tongue dipping just low enough to make her squirm. ‘Open wider for me.’
She shifted her legs, hips rising off the bed, soundlessly urging him to shift, to slide that clever mouth right between her spread legs. When, finally, he did, using the very tip of his tongue to separate the lips of her sex, breathing deeply as he slid the flat of his tongue along the seam, she screamed his name and climaxed almost violently.
He kept his mouth there, his tongue on that fizzing knot of nerves, until the waves receded.
And then, with a groan, he slid back up her body and thrust inside her. ‘Ah, thank
you, God,’ he groaned, and any semblance of control snapped.
He pounded into her, teeth gritted, gripping her hips as though his life depended on leveraging himself off them so he could go harder, deeper.
Sunshine could feel his orgasm building and tightened her inner muscles, holding, wanting... ‘Come, come,’ she said, and then the explosion ripped through him.
Long moments later he rolled onto his back, bringing Sunshine with him so that she was lying on top, her thighs falling either side of him. ‘Forgot the condom again,’ he said.
Sunshine frowned. ‘I’ve never forgotten before.’
‘Do we need to talk about it?’
‘Only if you have a disease.’
‘Then we don’t need to talk.’ He secured her more tightly against his chest. One hand was in her hair, smoothing through the strands.
Silence. Minutes dragged on.
Then, ‘The Heimlich thing... Why?’ he asked.
She shrugged, self-conscious. ‘I saw a story on the internet about a woman who choked to death. If someone had known what to do she wouldn’t have died. So I...I learned. Just in case. Typical that the first time I had to use it was on Natalie’s boyfriend!’
‘He’s not her boyfriend. He’s her bitch.’
‘Ouch.’
‘I wish I could say that was me being malicious, but it’s just the truth.’
‘I certainly don’t understand what you saw in her.’
‘Me neither. I guess we get what we deserve.’
She looked up at him, perplexed. ‘Why would you think you deserved her? Deserved...that?’
Leo shook his head, shrugged, clearly uncomfortable. ‘Just history. Perpetuating the crappiness of my life. Because she wasn’t my first mistake—just the most persistent.’
Mistake. Something about the word made Sunshine shiver. Mistake...
‘You’re cold,’ Leo said. ‘And I have a brilliant idea—let’s actually get in the bed.’
Sunshine latched onto being cold as a viable excuse for the sudden chill prickling along her skin. She slid under the covers, busied herself positioning cushions so that she was propped up against the bedhead, half turned to him.
She toyed with her chain, rubbing the sun and moon charms between her fingers.
‘Sun and moon,’ Leo said, watching her. ‘For Sunshine and Moonbeam?’
‘Yes. The business is called Sun & Moon too. Not sure what we were going to do when we changed our names.’
‘You were going to change your names? Don’t tell me: Sue and Jenny?’
‘Do I look like a Sue?’
‘Actually, you look like a Sunshine.’
‘Harsh! Well, Moonbeam was definitely not a Jenny! She was going to be Amaya—it means Night Rain. She figured it was a close enough association with the night, if not with the moon specifically.’
‘Nice. And yours?’
‘Allyn. Do I look like an Allyn?’
‘I told you—you look like a Sunshine.’
‘Oh, dear. Daunting. Well, Moon said Allyn meant Bright and Shining One. Close enough to sunshine, in her opinion. And she said it suited me.’ She frowned, thinking. ‘I’ve thought a lot over the past two years about making the change. Wondered if doing the thing we planned to do together on my own would help me accept...move on. My parents aren’t so sure.’
‘Tell me about them,’ Leo said.
‘My parents? Oh, they’re very zen! Quite mad. And completely wonderful. Always there. Supportive, but never smothering. They let Moon and me leave the commune when we were fifteen, so we could see a different way and make informed decisions about how we wanted to live. They made sure we had a safe place to stay, a good school to go to, money for whatever we needed, while we worked it out. And they seemed to understand even before we did that Moon was the true hippie and I was...well, something in between a hippie and an urbanite. Moon would have raced straight back to the commune if not for me being anchored in the city.’ She smiled, remembering. ‘We started our business with money our father inherited but didn’t need. It was given to us simply, with love, on our eighteenth birthday.’
‘Lucky.’
‘Yes. But it’s not all sparkles and roses, you know. There’s the haiku to deal with!’
‘Ah, the haiku. What is it?’
‘You’ll find out—that poem is coming.’
‘Can’t wait.’
‘You have no idea!’
‘But...they were okay with you girls changing your names?’
‘They weren’t insulted, if that’s what you mean. They were fine with it if we wanted to do it.’ She bit her lip. ‘But Dad had a sidebar conversation with me because he thought Moonbeam was browbeating me.’
‘And was she?’
‘Not browbeating—nothing that brutish. She was...persuading!’ Sunshine said, and smiled, remembering. ‘But I was happy enough to be persuaded if she wanted it that badly. And I owed her, for staying.’
Sunshine closed her eyes, picturing her sister.
‘Tell me more about Moonbeam,’ Leo said.
Opening her eyes on a sigh, Sunshine adjusted her position in the bed. ‘Well, you know what she looked like—me! But slimmer. And with the most beautiful green eyes—both of them. Other than looks, though, we were completely different. I was the carnivore; she was vegetarian. I was...well, as you see me. Friendly, touchy-feely, chirpy.’
‘And...?’
Sunshine fiddled with her necklace. ‘Moon was...intriguing. I was Mary Poppins; she was Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. When the kids made fun of my devil eyes I would laugh it off, but she would go all superhero.’ She laughed suddenly. ‘Is there a hippie superhero? What a wonderful idea. I’m going to do a web search on that.’
‘So she was your protector?’
‘Oh, yes. And my cheer squad. And my...everything. She was smart, and had an amazing flair for numbers, so although the business was my idea she was the CEO. And she didn’t even want to be in the city!’
Sunshine adjusted the quilt. Fussed with a cushion.
‘She said that left me to concentrate on the creative stuff because she was not into fashion like I was. She would wear a suit for business if I chose it for her; otherwise she would drag on whatever clothes and shoes came to hand. I, on the other hand, was obsessed with colour and shape and style.’ She shrugged, a little sheepish. ‘And I really love shoes!’
‘Funny, I hadn’t noticed that.’
She hit him with the cushion. ‘Don’t make me take you behind that wall and show you my shoe collection. I haven’t known a man yet who could cope with the sight.’
‘Are you really going there? Talking about the men you’ve had in here? I’ll go there if you want, Sunshine, but I don’t think you’ll like it.’
She opened her eyes at him. ‘Oh, that sounds very alpha male.’
He didn’t smile. ‘You’ll see alpha, beta, gamma, and zeta male if you go near another man, Sunshine.’
‘Oh, alpha, beta, and zeta?’
‘Alpha-beta-gamma-zeta. And don’t roll your eyes.’
‘Sorry.’
‘I said don’t roll your eyes.’
‘All right!’ Sunshine said, laughing.
‘So, I think,’ Leo said quietly, after a long moment, ‘we’re up to the bike, aren’t we?’
Sunshine nodded, sat a little straighter. ‘The bike,’ she said. She pulled a different cushion onto her lap and started playing with the fringe. ‘She bought it because she liked the wind in her face and the freedom of riding. It was too big for her, but she wouldn’t be told.’
She stopped there.
‘And...?’ he prompted.
Sunshine reached for the charms. ‘We were at a party. Her boyfriend du jour—Jeff—mixed
us up and tried to kiss me. Moonbeam went into melodrama mode and stormed off, dragging me with her.’
‘Was she angry with you?’
‘God, no! She knew I would never poach. And truthfully...? She wasn’t even angry with Jeff. She was just restless. Bored with being in the city. And tired of Jeff. So what he did gave her an excuse to dump him. She thought...she thought he’d done it accidentally-on-purpose because he actually preferred me. We were dressed so differently, you see, it couldn’t have been a mix-up.’
‘Did that happen often? A boyfriend switching sides?’
‘No. Never before.’
‘And so...?’
‘And so we clambered onto the bike.’ She shivered. ‘She was wild that night, riding too fast. She took a turn badly, and...well. Moonbeam died instantly. Her neck snapped at the base of the helmet.’ She swallowed. ‘I got carted off to hospital, where I went through twenty-eight pints of blood.’ She moved restlessly. ‘Internal bleeding. They had to take my spleen—which apparently you don’t really need, so go figure! And they took half my liver, which was haemorrhaging. Actually, did you know that the liver regenerates? Which means the chunk of my liver they cut out has probably grown back. Amazing!’
‘I’m sorry, Sunshine,’ Leo said.
She rearranged herself in the bed again—flustery, unnecessary activity. ‘Which brings us to the important part of this discussion. Getting rid of your motorbike.’
Leo said nothing.
‘Leo? You understand, don’t you?’
He nodded slowly. ‘I understand why you hate motorbikes—because you blame yourself for the accident. You feel guilty because you couldn’t talk your sister out of that bike. Because she stayed in the city only for you, where she was an unhappy fish out of water. Because of what her boyfriend did. The way all those things led to both of you being on the bike at that precise moment at that speed. Because she died and you didn’t. And you’re here and she’s not.’
Sunshine brushed away a tear. ‘That’s about the sum of it. I just miss her so much. And I’d do anything to have her back.’ She looked at him. ‘But you can’t bring someone back from the dead. So please get rid of it, Leo. Please?’
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