‘No,’ he said. ‘I don’t regret it because I do want her to be remembered.’
‘It can’t have been easy,’ Olivia said, her voice low, warming him. ‘But you did well, Adam. Really well. Maria would have been proud of you. She sounds like an amazing woman and an amazing mum.’ She hesitated, twirling a stray tendril of hair round her finger. ‘It must have been devastating for you when you lost her.’
He could shut her off, could simply say that he didn’t want to talk about it. But to his own surprise he didn’t mind. Olivia had stood by him all evening and helped him deflect exactly the same comments from strangers.
‘I was devastated, and I had no idea how to deal with it. You could say I handled it badly.’
She shifted across the seat, turned so her upper body faced his, the silver of her dress shimmering in the dusky light. ‘I think that’s understandable,’ she said.
‘I was angry,’ he said. So angry he could still feel the heat of it scorch him across the years. He’d been helpless and scared and he’d hated it. ‘Angry with fate, with life. I was even angry with her for dying. For not somehow fighting it. Guess I took it personally.’
‘I don’t think there’s any other way of taking it,’ Olivia said.
He glanced at her. ‘Is that how you took your dad’s behaviour?’
‘Yes.’ Elegant shoulders hitched. ‘My head tells me that he would have rejected any child. But my heart and soul knows he rejected me. Difference is my father had a choice. Your mother didn’t.’
Adam nodded. ‘I know that. I guess I feel bad that back then I was more caught up with what was going to happen to me than caring about everything she’d lost.’ A guilt that had been enhanced further by Zeb’s arrival. It had taken his mother’s death to bring him what he’d wished for so fervently. The knowledge still soured his gut.
Next to him, Olivia shook her head. ‘Don’t even think about beating yourself up.’
A slender hand touched his arm, a tendril of hair wisped over his cheek and her smell enveloped him.
Close—she was so close—and, damn it, he didn’t want to talk any more.
Or think any more.
He just wanted to feel.
Her hazel eyes met his, their green flecks glowing in the dimness of the car’s interior as she scanned his expression.
There was no hesitation. In one lithe movement she moved closer to him. Elegant fingers reached up and cupped his jaw. Her fingers were so slight and gentle and yet they branded him. Her touch glided over his stubble and around to the nape of his neck; the caress jolted desire through his system.
He released the clip that held her hair back and dug his fingers in the glorious silken tresses, angled her face towards him.
Olivia parted her lips and his name escaped into the air—part groan, part entreaty. Shifting closer to her, he lowered his lips to hers. Her scent swirled round him and he was lost. Caught in a spirally vortex of desire. He could taste the fizz of champagne that lingered on her lips, and when his tongue stroked hers she moaned softly into his mouth, her fingers curling into his shirt.
Closer... He needed her closer. Adam spanned her slender waist with his hands and hoisted her onto his lap, cursing at the constraint caused by the long silver folds of her dress.
With a murmur of frustration Olivia hitched the shimmering material up around her waist and straddled him, her long, smooth thighs pressing against his. Adam’s now almost painful erection strained at his zipper, pushing against her hot core.
Fingers splayed, he smoothed up the soft bare skin of her thighs and she shivered in response. Her breathing quickened as he tiptoed his fingers farther up and reached the wispy lace of her knickers.
She was so wet, so responsive. His hips jerked upward and she writhed against him; their movements bordered on being frantic.
Breaking the kiss, she straightened. Magnificent. More beautiful than anything he’d ever seen before. Hair tumbled in wild disarray around her flushed face. Hazel eyes dark with a primal desire.
‘Adam, please...’ she murmured, her voice ragged.
He slid his finger under the lacy edge of her knickers, desperate to watch her shatter for him.
‘I’m right here.’
And her expression changed. The glow of desire receded and her face leeched of all colour as she stared down at him with a look of sheer horror.
In one awkward movement she twisted from his lap and desperate, jerky hands pulled the shimmering folds of her dress down her thighs.
She leant back against the seat and lifted her hands to her face. A muffled curse escaped her fingers.
Adam forced his breathing to a regular pattern and tried to calm both his veering heart and his hard-on.
‘Olivia—’ he began.
She shook her head. ‘Please don’t say anything. I’m sorry. And I’m mortified. And I really want to somehow pretend this didn’t happen.’
‘Again?’ He couldn’t help himself; frustration and confusion roiled inside him. ‘No can do, Olivia. It happened. Again.’
‘I’m sorry, Adam. I’m behaving like an idiot.’ She dropped her hands from her face and shifted even farther away from him. ‘Clearly my body is having some sort of hormonal meltdown. But I will not give in to it. I hate this. This attraction. I just want to turn it off.’
Despite himself, he smiled. ‘Attraction doesn’t work like that. You can’t just turn it off.’
‘I can. I have to.’ Her voice vibrated with desperate conviction. ‘Attraction is nothing more than a chemical reaction.’
‘Exactly. And you can’t change chemical reactions.’
‘No, but you can make sure that you don’t drop the potassium into the water.’
‘Or you can enjoy the explosion,’ he said.
‘And pick up the pieces later? Not my style.’
It wasn’t his, either. The important thing for him in any relationship was mutual short-term enjoyment, after which both parties went their separate ways in—and this was key—one piece. He’d created enough mess to last him a lifetime. A memory of Charlotte’s tearstained face accosted him and it was all the reminder he needed.
So what the hell was he doing now? Enjoyment did not include sharing his feelings about his mother’s death. Talking about Maria to keep her memory alive was one thing; spilling his guts to Olivia was a whole different situation.
And, whilst he had no doubt there would have been plenty of instant and mutual gratification going on if she hadn’t pulled back, that wasn’t the point. Shock rendered him mute. He hadn’t so much as considered any of his usual rules and regulations—hadn’t even bothered to find out Olivia’s views on relationships.
Way to go, Adam.
So an explosion was a sucky idea, however hard his hard-on was. Olivia Evans had issues. She was emotional dynamite and it was time to get out of the laboratory. There would be other women, other attractions. But not like this. No, not like this—and a damn good thing, too.
‘Not my style, either.’
‘Then we’re agreed,’ she stated. She plunged her hands into the shimmering folds of her dress as she turned to face him. ‘So let’s move on. I’ve done my part of the deal. Now it’s your turn. You need to take me to Zeb.’
‘Ah. Yes. That.’
‘Yes. That.’ Her eyes narrowed in sudden suspicion. ‘Don’t you dare renege on our deal.’
‘I’m not. It’s just a little bit more complicated than I mentioned.’
‘Complicated how?’
‘Zeb’s in Thailand.’
There was a pause as Olivia’s lips, still swollen from his kisses, opened and closed.
‘Thailand? He’s thousands of miles away and you didn’t think to mention it?’
Adam felt her outrage and welcomed it; at least i
t dissipated the sexual tension that still whispered in the air. Plus, anger was as good an outlet for frustration as any, and he knew that Olivia must be feeling plenty frustrated. She’d pulled herself from the brink of orgasm. Come to that, he wasn’t feeling any too relaxed himself.
Served him right for being so quick off the mark and for letting this whole situation get out of control.
‘I didn’t see the need,’ he said. ‘I’ll honour my side of the deal. I’ll take you to Thailand.’
‘Just like that?’
‘Sure. It’s a few hours away by plane. We pack. We go.’
‘I can’t just up sticks and fly to Thailand. When’s Zeb coming back?’
Ah. ‘He’s not.’
‘What do you mean? He lives in Thailand?’
‘Zeb doesn’t live anywhere.’
Olivia frowned. ‘So he’s like you? Does he live in a hotel?’
The innocent question scraped Adam’s nerves; if only Olivia knew how like his father he was. ‘Zeb’s a modern-day nomad.’
Dismay etched Olivia’s beautiful features; her hazel eyes drenched with disbelief. ‘But he must have a...a base? Somewhere? Give me something here, Adam.’
‘He doesn’t have anything,’ Adam said flatly. ‘No address at all. Zeb believes that bricks and mortar are an unnecessary responsibility. He very rarely stays in the same place for more than a few weeks and he goes wherever the whim carries him.’
‘But where does she leave his things? His possessions?’
‘He carries them with him.’
‘You’re kidding me?’ She bit her lip. ‘It’s not exactly what I was hoping for.’
No doubt she’d been hoping for the full package: a man who would be happy to have a child, would settle down and play happy families complete with white picket fence.
He pushed down the surge of sympathy; it was better for Olivia to know it as it was. ‘Zeb is a wanderer. He won’t change that for anyone.’ He rubbed a hand over his face. ‘It’s a Masterson trait, Olivia,’ he said, trying to keep the bitterness from his voice. ‘We don’t do settling down.’
Zeb hadn’t, and Adam certainly hadn’t. He’d tried—hell, he’d tried. He’d married Charlotte with high hopes of that white picket fence for himself. Hopes he’d dashed to the earth a mere two years into the soulless purgatory that settling down had turned out to be. For him. Not for Charlotte. Charlotte had been in her element, nest-building, whilst the chintz-patterned wallpaper had been closing in on Adam.
‘It’s not possible. But that isn’t the point. Nomad or not, he still needs to be told about the baby. So we’d better get ourselves to Thailand.’ Sort this fiasco out, then life could return to normal.
‘It’s not that easy.’
‘Sure it is. Leave it to me,’ Adam said as the limo glided to a stop outside the imposing front of his Mayfair hotel.
* * *
The deep throb of the aeroplane’s engines reverberated in Olivia’s ears. Just twenty-four hours later and she was on her way to Thailand. Ko Lanta, to be precise. Excitement surfaced as she looked down at her tablet, where a glorious picture of a white sandy beach evoked relaxation. According to the blurb, the island was a veritable paradise—a scenic miasma of forest, hill, and coral-rimmed beaches.
Unfortunately Olivia wasn’t going to Ko Lanta to admire the verdant beauty of the island or to absorb the sun’s brilliant rays. Her remit was to meet with Zeb. Yet the anticipation refused to recede completely, still fizzed defiantly in her tummy. Worst of all, she had the feeling that the reason for its existence wasn’t the hotness of her destination—it was more to do with the hotness of her travelling companion.
She eyed Adam across the aisle of the private jet and felt heat seep into her skin; embarrassment still fresh over the whole crazy hot-and-heavy interlude in his limo. The only saving grace was that she’d stopped it. On the verge of what had promised to be the mother of all orgasms.
Yay. Nice timing, Liv.
Served her right. Shame twisted her tummy at the memory of herself straddling him in the back of a car, Adam’s hand up her skirt, the plea in her voice as she’d begged him for release.
Double yay!
This whole overwhelming attraction was so confusing. All she’d wanted to offer Adam was solace—not a quickie in the back of his car. Mind you, looking at him now, she had no idea how she had dared even to offer him comfort, let alone anything else. The past few hours Adam had been utterly unapproachable, a veritable machine of efficiency while she’d run around sorting out cover for her work for a week. But the man who had confided in her, the man who had kissed her senseless and nearly robbed her of every last vestige of control had vanished.
Which was a good thing.
The sigh she emitted was way too loud; Adam looked up from his laptop.
‘Is there something you need?’
‘Nope. I’m fine.’
‘Good.’
His attention was diverted straight back to the screen and a thoroughly irrational annoyance sparked inside her. If he’d deigned to tell her more about Zeb a little bit earlier instead of clinging to his stupid belief that she was a billionaire-bagger, maybe she might have had more time to prepare for this trip. Plus, how come he got to sit there all cool and collected whilst she sat here reliving the scene in the limo?
She sighed again, even louder, and tapped her nails against the table in a deliberate beat.
‘Olivia. If there is a problem please feel free to share. What is it?’
‘I was just wondering why you insisted I take a week off.’ An outright fib, but she didn’t care. It might be childish but she wanted him distract him.
‘Because it makes sense. Zeb comes and goes as he pleases. He only got to Ko Lanta a couple of days ago, so he should still be there. But if he’s moved on we’ll need to track him. It’s not worth the risk of losing him again.’
Her sigh was genuine this time; Zeb wasn’t exactly turning out to be the kind of man she had envisaged when she’d embarked on this search.
Though, come to think of it, Adam still hadn’t told her much about Zeb at all, really. A sideways glance confirmed that he had returned his attention to his laptop and clearly figured their conversation to be closed. His expression was shuttered, his forehead creased in a frown of concentration.
Olivia hauled in breath. Well, tough. They would be in Thailand soon, and she’d be meeting Zeb shortly after. Surely she was entitled to some information about the man?
‘Adam?’ she said.
‘Yes?’
Impatience tinged the air as he looked up and Olivia stiffened her spine.
‘Could you tell me something more about Zeb?’
‘More?’ Dark eyebrows rose, for all the world as if he’d already given her a three-tome biography of Zeb. ‘There isn’t any more to tell.’
‘Sure there is. So far all I’ve got is a man who wanders the world and has no wish to settle down.’
‘What else do you need to know?’
Olivia shrugged. ‘Well, what sort of father was he?’ She hesitated. ‘I noticed you didn’t mention him in your speech, and...’ And, man, she was an idiot. The penny plummeted down. ‘That’s why your mother brought you up on your own. Zeb didn’t stick around.’
Adam’s lips set in a grim line before he let out a whoosh of air and leant back, pushing his laptop back. ‘No, he didn’t,’ he said.
Compassion, confusion and anger threaded through her. ‘And you didn’t think to mention this earlier?’
‘No, I didn’t.’
Keep calm, Liv. ‘Care to expand on your reasoning?’
‘Sure. Zeb walked away when my mum told him she was pregnant. Thirty years ago. Doesn’t mean he’d do the same now. Plus, when Mum found out how ill she was she hired a PI to trac
k him down. Zeb turned up a few weeks after the funeral and took me with him on his travels.’
His tone was way too bland. Olivia knew right down to her tippy-toes that there was a lot more to the story. The set of his lips also informed her that that was all she was going to get.
‘And? What sort of dad was he then?’
Adam shrugged. ‘He was exciting, unpredictable, fun. He taught me how to play poker and how to look out for myself.’
A shadow crossed his eyes on those last words, and Olivia would swear the air had become tinted with a wisp of bitterness.
As if he realised it Adam tipped his hands in the air and smiled. ‘He made me into the man I am today. I’m pretty happy with that.’ The plane started its descent and Adam snapped his laptop shut. ‘And on that note, it looks like we’re here.’
Olivia gazed out the window and for a minute wished that she was here on a holiday, visiting a country she had only dreamed of.
A sigh of sheer appreciation escaped her lips as they disembarked into the incredible warmth of the Thai sun. She shrugged off her light cardigan and tipped her face up to the sun’s rays. Deep warmth suffused her as the sun soaked into her skin.
‘Incredible,’ she murmured as she followed Adam across the tarmac to a waiting taxi. ‘So, two hours and we’ll be on Ko Lanta?’ she asked.
‘Less. I’ve got a taxi booked, and then a speedboat. I’ve got seasickness tablets if you need them.’
‘I should be fine. I haven’t been on many boats, but I’ve never thrown up, either.’
‘It’s a bit bumpy, and you may get a bit wet, but it’s the quickest way to get there.’
The remainder of their trip was achieved in silence, and anticipation built in Olivia with each bump of the car over the long, dusty road. Hope looped the loop in her tummy as she inhaled the salty sea spray and the speedboat skimmed the glittering turquoise waves. The journey was bringing them inexorably closer and closer to Zeb.
A man walked towards them as they stepped off the deck of the speedboat onto the pier at Ko Lanta.
‘Adam. It is good to see you.’
Harlequin KISS August 2014 Bundle Page 66