Show No Fear (Rising Goddess Book 1)

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Show No Fear (Rising Goddess Book 1) Page 2

by Tamara White


  Rain beats down on me, and I look at three gravestones, standing side by side. Seth had no family other than Drew, so it only felt right to bury him with my parents. They always got along and I knew that wherever the hell they went after this life that they would still look after him.

  I walk through the rain towards where the car waits for me. All the while, my heart weeps for the loved ones I've lost. My parents and my fiancé, all gone in one fell swoop. But because my mate sacrificed himself, I survived. I know Seth did it for me, and I know he would want me to find the will to move on, but I'm not there yet. All I feel is darkness and a rage so strong I don't know how to cope with it.

  I keep walking towards the car, ignoring the stares of the other funeral goers, their whispers nothing but noise as I grieve. When I reach the car, my aunt opens the door. I slide into the back seat as she makes her way around the front. I know I should be cold under the torrent of rain, but all I can feel is the heat from the ball of rage burning inside me.

  Why is the world so cruel? My parents apparently died on impact and from what Drew explained to me, I would have died soon after if Seth hadn't done what he had. He sent his wolf’s healing energy through our mate bond, repairing my injuries while he bled out and died from his.

  Drew told me that in his final moments, Seth reached out to him through their bond. Drew was apparently already in town to see me, wanting to wish me a happy birthday and discuss what had happened between us in the past. So when he heard Seth’s call, he quickly shifted and ran to the scene of the crash. He explained that he pulled me out of the wreckage and that I screamed the whole time, clinging onto Seth until I finally passed out. Not that I remember any of that.

  I’m pulled out of my thoughts when the car stops in front of the home that Seth and I were renting together. We had discussed moving out soon, as the house had been put up for sale, but we had only just begun our search for another place.

  This morning before the funeral, Aunt Dee made me sit down with my lawyer, the one who is in charge of my trust. They explained that my parents had actually made an offer to the previous owners, one that was too good to refuse. Apparently they were going to tell me the night of the accident, but never got the chance. So now the house was all mine, even though I could barely stand to look at it.

  I climb out of the car, ignoring Aunt Dee as she tries to help me and I end up stumbling up the steps. She doesn't follow me in; the last time she tried to come inside, I raged at her until she backed away out of fear. I open the door and Seth’s scent overwhelms me, tipping me over the edge. I drop to my knees and begin sobbing, the full impact of my loss consuming me.

  After a moment, a strong pair of arms envelops me and Drew’s scent invades my senses. That bubbling rage rises up once more and I push out of his arms, scrambling to my feet.

  "No!" My breath heaves as I glare down at him. "You have no fucking right to comfort me!"

  "Katie, please..."

  "Get the fuck out of my house," I whisper, my voice filled with deadly intent. If he doesn't, I will drag his ass out. There is no way he’s staying in the place Seth and I had called home. No, he lost that right when he made me choose between them because of his petty jealousy. Even if the reason he came back was to apologize and fix things between us, now is really not the time.

  Drew sighs and gets to his feet begrudgingly. He walks to the front door and opens it, stepping through the entrance. But before he closes the door behind him, he turns back to look at me. "I know you're grieving, Katie, but I promised him I would be here for you. Your heat will come around and when that happens, you will need me to help get you through it. I'll be waiting."

  I scoff at his audacity and cross my arms in anger. "Don't fucking hold your breath, Drew. I would rather go through a pain-filled heat cycle than come to you for help. Now get the fuck off my property."

  He shakes his head in disbelief, like I'm acting like nothing more than an errant child. The moment the door closes behind him, I trudge to the room I shared with my mate. I open the door and step inside. Then I collapse in a heap on the bed as pain overwhelms me. What the hell do I do now?

  Ten Months Later...

  The bell to signal the end of class rings. I quickly get to my feet, stuffing all of my notes into my shoulder bag, knowing I will need them again for my assignment.

  I sigh and make my way down the stairs, still a little awed by the classrooms here. When you walk inside, the first thing you see is the professor’s desk. From there, you have rows of seats, each going up a level. I chose to sit right at the top because I absolutely hate having someone behind me. The acoustics in the room are great, because I can somehow hear the professor, even from this far away. Besides, my wolf senses have become more acute since whatever Seth did to save my life, so I can always just use my enhanced hearing if I ever have any difficulty hearing.

  As I descend the final step, I scent something I haven't in a while, which catches my attention. I turn my head, trying to determine where the freshly buttered popcorn scent I associate with wolves is coming from, but there’s nobody there.

  I sigh, feeling stupid. That's one scent I haven't smelled up close in months. Not since I kicked Drew out of my house. Despite him calling to check in on me, I stuck to my word and endured each heat cycle on my own.

  After the third month, he gave up trying and I haven't heard from him since. While I felt another sense of loss at that, I knew it was for the best. If I was around him during my heat cycle, my hormones and primal desires would get the better of me. I didn’t want to tarnish Seth's memory by getting involved with his brother, regardless of whether he too was my mate.

  I'm so stuck in my thoughts as I walk out of the classroom that I don't notice the guy passing by the doorway until I run into him. To make matters worse, his coffee spills over my white blouse. I stare down at my top, unable to process what just happened. "Shit, I am so fucking sorry,” I hear a voice say. “I wasn't watching where I was going. Are you okay?"

  I look up into gray eyes, which are filled with guilt. He looks so horrified by what just happened that I can't help but chuckle.

  "It's okay. I was lost in my thoughts so I wasn't paying any attention either. Sorry about your coffee, though," I say, looking down at his now almost empty cup. The lid fell to the floor in the mishap and I find myself wishing for my own cup right about now. I skipped getting coffee this morning because of an argument my roommate and I were having, which left me running late.

  I learned the hard way that Frannie is a very outgoing spirit. The first night we were in the dorm together, I woke up to the sounds of her getting it on with some frat guy, right in the bed across from me as if it was perfectly normal.

  After a few weeks of this, I’d finally had enough. I thought if I just talked to her about it, she would realize how inconsiderate she had been. But, no, instead she told me to stop being a stuffy prude and to live a little. Needless to say, her behavior didn’t stop after that, and has been the source of all our arguments since, including the one this morning.

  "No seriously, I'm terribly sorry. I know you don't like being touched and I violated your personal space."

  I frown at his words, unsure how he knows such a thing. "Why would you think that?"

  He runs his free hand through his shaggy brown hair, sighing as if he isn't quite sure how to answer. "You punched Brady for helping you up when you stumbled over a book on the floor. Everyone knows to steer clear of you. Some people say you’re psychotic, but personally, I just think you don't like your space being invaded."

  His words sink in and I burst out laughing, clutching my stomach as tears rain down my cheeks. He looks at me as if I truly am insane, so I get myself under enough control to explain. "Brady," I say with a shake of my head, still unable to believe the lies he’s been spouting, “cornered me in the library and ran his hand up my skirt, trying to get a feel of what wasn't his to touch. I pushed him off me, and stormed out into the quad, but he ran after me. He g
rabbed my arm and pulled me against him, at the same time grabbing my ass, so I reacted." I shrug, looking at the man before me, whose eyes darken with rage.

  "That son of a bitch!" he spits out, looking around as if hoping to see Brady so he could pummel him.

  "Meh, it is what it is. If he's spitting bullshit, then that's on him. I really don't care what others think of me." He looks at me curiously, as if trying to figure out whether I'm serious or not, but I don't give him too long to think on it. "Now if you’re not busy, would I be able to buy you a replacement coffee? I'm going to go get one for myself too," I add when I see him hesitate.

  "Okay then, that sounds great. I’m Kaden by the way," he says, introducing himself.

  I nod, then without replying, start walking in the direction of the café on this side of campus. Bending down, he picks up the discarded coffee lid before following after me.

  He catches up to me just as I pass a trash can and pauses to throw his lid and the remainder of his coffee away.

  I stop at a public bathroom near the café. "I'm just going to change my shirt quickly," I tell him, glad I had the foresight to keep a spare change of clothes in my bag for incidences such as this. As well as the small bundle of cash to buy clothes or any other items I might need in an emergency.

  He smiles softly and nods. Then he moves to lean against the wall, pulling his phone from his pocket. I go into the bathroom, lock myself in one of the stalls and begin tidying up as best I can. Why I even bothered wearing a white shirt today is beyond me. I think it was purely because I wanted to feel something other than the rage that lives inside me and had hoped wearing a color other than black or red might help.

  It actually surprised me that I didn't snap at Kaden out in the hall. But there's something about him that’s different. My instincts are telling me that there's more to him than meets the eyes and for the first time since losing Seth, I find myself intrigued.

  And as much as guilt weighs me down for Seth not being here, I can’t spend the rest of my life ignoring everyone. Seth and my parents would want me to be strong, to live my life to the fullest. It's the reason why I decided to go through with going to college after all.

  When I step out of the bathroom, I see Kaden leaning up against the wall, still on his phone and completely oblivious to the girls staring at him at they walk past.

  I take the time to study him, from his black sneakers to his blue jeans and pale blue tee. I can see why girls find him attractive that's for sure, but he seems to be immune to their looks, unlike some of the other guys I've seen on campus who preen the moment a pretty girl looks their way.

  He, however, either doesn’t care or truly is oblivious to their stares. I walk up to him with a small smile. "All done," I say and his gaze snaps up to look me over, taking in the pale green tee I'm wearing.

  He grins and shoves his phone in his pocket, hanging up on his caller without so much as a goodbye. "After you," he says, holding open the door to the café. I walk in and he follows closely behind me. We walk up to the counter and I smile when I realize no one is in line. I didn't realize how badly I needed a coffee until one was poured all over me.

  "Hi, Kaden," the girl behind the counter calls. Her breath hitches as she says his name, and I swear I can feel her desire wafting off her in waves. I turn to Kaden with a grin and he flushes, obviously picking up the same vibe I am. This girl wants him like a wolf in heat. I chuckle to myself when I see that he looks unsure what to say, like he’s never had a girl fawn all over him. The silence between them is so uncomfortable that I decide to speak, giving him an out.

  "Excuse me? I believe I approached the counter, not Kaden. And since I am a paying customer, maybe you should do your job and take my order," I say with a little more snark than I usually would, but seriously, she's practically eye fucking him from across the counter.

  She turns, as if only just noticing me and glares in my direction. "I have the right to refuse service," she responds with a haughty tone.

  I just grin at her. "Excellent, well then, I would like to speak with your manager.”

  She stutters, seeming a little shocked by my request. But she quickly recovers, sneering at me. "The manager isn't in today," she says as if that will somehow delay the inevitable.

  I cock my head, smirking maliciously. "Really? Because Charity happens to live in my dorm and I know for a fact that she is the manager here. I also happen to know that the only reason she and I aren't having lunch together today is because she’s taking stock in the back. So either you just lied to me about your manager not being here because you know the way you treated me was rude and don’t want to get in trouble, or Charity somehow miraculously got out of work and didn't bother to tell me."

  The girl’s mouth opens and closes, but nothing comes out. I hear a chuckle from just behind me as Kaden presses closer, apparently having got back some of his courage. Either that or me having put the girl in her place reassured him that he was safe from her coming on to him.

  "Now," I flick my eyes down to her name tag, "Cindy, you can either go get Charity and she will most likely reprimand or even fire you for your rude treatment of a customer just because you want to fuck the man she's with, or you can do what a normal adult would in this situation and shut up and take our orders. Your choice," I say, cocking out my hip as we wait for her to make her decision.

  Finally Cindy is able to school her expression, replacing her look of indignation with a forced smile on her face. "Hi there. What can I get you today?"

  I smile back politely. "I'd like a large caramel latte to go, please." I turn to Kaden. "What would you like?"

  He smiles at me, his eyes lit up with mirth. "I'll have a large cappuccino, also to go," he says, giving his order to the girl who enters it into the system.

  I pay for our drinks and move to the other counter where we’ll pick up our orders when they’re ready. My gaze is drawn to the line of people who came in behind us. If the damn girl had done her job in the first place, then she wouldn't be swamped with orders right now so I find it hard to feel guilty.

  A minute later, Cindy’s sliding our cups of coffee across the counter towards us and then turns away without a second glance. I take mine and walk over to a table by the window wall that overlooks the quad. I have a few minutes until my next class and just need a moment to think, to digest the news that wolves are here at this school and that Kaden could be one of them. After all, I smelled that distinctive buttered popcorn scent wafting off him, but that could just mean he has a friend or classmate, or perhaps even a lover, who happens to be a wolf. It’s possible, but I don’t really believe in coincidences.

  The scrape of a chair across the floor stirs me from my thoughts and I look up, surprised to see that Kaden had followed me. I had figured he’d just take the coffee and go. But instead, he takes the seat opposite me.

  "Thank you for the coffee, and for fending off Cindy."

  I chuckle and meet his eyes across the table. “Don't worry about it. You looked like you wanted her to leave you alone but just had no idea how to tell her that. Figured I'd throw you a bone." I wink and lift my cup to my lips, practically inhaling the first sip of my latte.

  He laughs loudly enough to draw the attention of a few people at nearby tables. I realize in that moment that there's something about him that seems to draw in the gaze of everyone around us, whether it be male or female.

  Kaden grins at me from across the table, his eyes shining brightly. "Cindy has been a pain in my ass since last year. She wanted a way to get into our frat party, but we are pretty exclusive about who we let in, especially girls because we don’t want any of them to become clingy. Unfortunately, she tricked one of the brothers into inviting her and she has been like a dog with a bone ever since. She doesn’t care who she gets her claws into, having gone after many of my brothers. But any time she sees me, she pounces, trying to get me to invite her to another party. Honestly, though, I just don't have the patience to deal with her at one of the
parties I'm responsible for."

  I nod as he speaks. I've heard of the parties he's referring to. They are so goddamn exclusive your name has to be put on a list or the members won't let you in. The other frats don’t really give a shit who comes to their house, but if his is the one I’m thinking of, it’s like a special exclusive club. Even the people who pledge the fraternity are very elite, with only one or two getting in most years. At least that's what I overheard when Frannie and one of her many guys had talked about pledging.

  I turn my coffee cup in my hands and look up at him. "Kaden, you know most girls won't back off unless you say no, right? We can be persistent, but if you're honest with us, we’ll usually get the hint. Well, unless they're crazy, in which case run like the wind," I tell him, my eyes widening with fake horror.

  "You know it doesn’t seem fair that you know my name when I don't know yours. Then again, usually I would make sure to properly introduce myself before spilling hot coffee all over a pretty girl," he teases, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

  I roll my eyes at his line, and rather than telling him my name, I respond with, "So you spill coffee over girls regularly then? That's not exactly a good way to get a girl to like you," I retort playfully.

  He chuckles under his breath. "I like you. You've got spunk."

  I raise an eyebrow at that, but he continues. "Seriously. You're pretty intimidating, but that’s mainly because of that shit Brady has been spreading around. And now that I know what really happened, I may just be having a word with him," he mutters, his eyes going dark.

  I sigh heavily. "Please don't. I know this will sound strange, but I like people avoiding me. No offense, but most guys see me and feel like they have to try and hit on me for some reason, just like Brady did. The only difference now is I get little a bit of peace, instead of being hassled or groped whenever I’m in the halls. Besides, I tend to have a bit of a temper these days and when guys hit on me, it tends to explode. It was probably for the best that Brady did what he did, and because of what I did to him in response, people will now think twice before trying anything like that with me again. And now everyone just leaves me in peace, which is what I prefer.”

 

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