by Daphne Dawn
“I’m not okay,” I say. The tears threaten to make a reappearance and I fight not to cry. I don’t want to cry in the office where everyone can see me, or in front of Scott.
“I don’t know how to deal with this. I feel like it’s all my fault.”
Scott shakes his head. “Don’t do this to yourself. It’s not your fault. Just because it’s your sister doesn’t make it your fault. You can’t be held responsible for someone else’s actions.”
I nod. “I see what you’re saying. But we did this, Scott. If we don’t do…” I swallow, not wanting to say the words out loud in the office. “Then there wouldn’t have been anything to record.”
I glance around the office, hoping no one heard me. Dana sits at her desk not far from me but she’s buried in paperwork and doesn’t even glance up when I speak.
“So, you have a personal life. So, you do things that other people might not do. So, what? Just because your sister is making life hell for you doesn’t mean it’s wrong what you’re doing. We don’t even have a rule about fraternizing with colleagues at this company. It’s just because the investors are so damn anal…” Scott smirks when he says the word. I can’t help but smile.
“That’s better,” he says. “I love it when you smile.”
I chuckle. He’s making me feel better. Smiling and laughing is good. But that doesn’t change the facts. We are still in this mess. My smile slips away again and I sigh.
“I wish I can just think about something else,” I say. “I just want to forget about it for a moment and have a chance to breathe again.”
Scott smirks. “Do you want me do distract you?”
I glance up at him. “We can’t…”
He shakes his head, still smirking. “I don’t mean like that, although having you right now will be the best thing I can think of.”
“Stop it!” I say, my voice low.
Scott laughs. “I’m just going to distract you, give you something else to think about.”
I chuckle, feeling silly. “Yeah, okay,” I say.
Scott leans forward, lowering his voice. “I really loved fucking you last night.”
My cheeks turn scarlet immediately.
“Your ass is delicious, baby. I love pushing my dick into it.”
“God, Scott, stop!” I say. I’m blushing like mad and I can’t stop myself from grinning.
He shrugs. “I don’t want to stop. You’re so fucking hot, kitten, and delicious. Whether I’m sucking on you or fucking you, your mouth, your pussy, your ass…”
“Scott,” I say feeling so shy I don’t know what to do with myself. My body is responding to what he’s saying, too, the familiar twinge happening between my legs. His words are making me wet.
“God, the things I will do to you right now if I can,” Scott says. “But even kissing will be plenty.” His eyes slide to my lips when he says it and I suddenly wish he can do it, too.
“You shouldn’t do this,” I say.
Scott grins at me, a lopsided grin that makes me feel unbalanced. It’s an open smile, so different from the dirty grins that he gives me so often.
“I have to get back to my office,” he says. “We’ll just have to continue this later.” He leans into me. “My dirty girl,” he says in a low voice. He winks at me and turns away, whistling like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
Scott is a great guy. And it isn’t just what he does to me in bed that makes me feel that way. He’s a good person, someone that genuinely cares for me, not just my body. Yes, sexual innuendo is a big part of his way of speaking to me, but when he grins at me like he just did before walking away, I see a side of Scott that is raw and natural, different than what he becomes when he flirts. It makes me want to get to know him more. I want to know who Scott is. I’m starting to care for him.
I glance at the office, at Kevin’s drawn blinds. What did that say to me about him? Am I falling for Scott? I don’t have a clear-cut answer to that, but I know right away that my feeling something for Scott don’t mean I’m forgetting about Kevin. He is a great guy, too, in different ways. Control, responsible, he’s a lot less reckless than Scott but the stability grounds me in the same way that Scott’s wild side sets me free. Between the two of them I feel completely balanced. Do I have feelings for Kevin?
I can’t say no but I’m hesitant to say yes. Who am I falling for? Am I falling for either of them or is it just that the sex is so good I can’t think straight?
Or is it possible that maybe, just maybe, I’m starting to develop feelings for both of them?
I don’t know if that is possible. I don’t know if that’s fair. What if it comes between their friendship? What if I am the one that pulls apart two friends that are so tight sometimes I feel like they think the same thing?
I shake my head. What did Scott say? I can’t be held responsible for someone else’s actions. But this isn’t the same. This is about the three of us and what happens every time we get naked together, and I’m not thinking about what happens with my body.
Somewhere through all of this, I’m falling in love with them.
Kevin
Hull is in a black mood. He isn’t my favorite person as it is – he always looks like he has something on his mind and he doesn’t waste his time with bullshit unless it benefits him in some way. But this, this is different.
He is ready to pull the plug on the funding, and that will pull the plug on my entire company.
“I don’t see why we should stay on board with this,” he says. Two of the other investors are there, too, but they shrink to the background with Hull in the room and I see only him as a threat.
“Because there has been no evidence of any of the allegations,” I say. “The tip is anonymous and led to nothing and the tape hasn’t even surfaced.”
Hull shakes his head. He walks to my window, hands clasped behind his back, and looks out at the view. If he takes back his funding Raven Publishers isn’t going to survive it. I built this company up from scratch and the money from Hull – difficult as the man is – has allowed me to take the next step and make my company something great. Without him, though, I will fall. I’m in that space where I need him.
I hate that, but it’s the truth.
“The rumors are enough,” one of the other investors say.
Hull nods and turns to me. “I agree,” he says. “The rumors make you look bad, whether they’re true or not. Because we invest in your company, it makes us look bad, too. Give me a reason why we shouldn’t pull out.”
“Because they’re not true,” I say again.
Hull shakes his head and paces the office. I sit behind my desk but I don’t feel like I’m in charge. I feel like Hull is here to chastise me, to be a tyrant of sorts.
“I told you that I’m getting to the bottom of it and the investigation is bringing some facts to light, but I need a bit more time to find out all of it.”
I’m not even lying about it. We know enough to know that Emma is behind it and that she is serious enough to do something as bad as planting a camera in Carly’s bedroom. Of course, I can’t say any of that to Hull. I don’t want him to know that we have an idea of what happened because he will find out that we really did what the tip and the tape are suggesting.
He’ll pull out for sure if he knows what’s going on. I just need to keep him on board.
“I just need a bit more time,” I say.
Hull shakes his head. “If you ask me, you should fire that PA of yours.”
I blink at Hull. I didn’t ask him, but I’m smart enough not to say it. I know I’m in a bad place, no need to make it worse.
“Fire her?” I ask.
Hull nods. “She seems to be the common denominator in all of this and all the trouble only started when you hired her It’s a shame really. She has the potential to become some much more.”
Shit. He’s closer than he knows. It’s true, of course, because I started fucking Carly. And fuck, it seems that Scott and I were doing was wor
king – Hull is impressed with Carly. So how do I get rid of her just to save the company? It seems like the worst thing to do.
“I can’t do that,” I say. “I’m also part of this so-called scandal. It’s hardly reasonable to get rid of whoever might be implicated in this rumor.”
Hull gives me hard look and I realize what he is thinking. He’s planning on getting rid of me, too.
My stomach turns to stone. I don’t like the direction this is going.
“I just need time,” I say. “If it turns out that Miss Brown really is the problem I won’t hesitate to let her go. But if she’s innocent and these are just rumors – which they are – then it will be unfair to fire her for no good reason.”
Hull doesn’t look like he agrees with me.
“I don’t think you understand how serious this is, Meyers,” Hull says. He is calling me by my surname now, he never addresses me as Kevin anymore. That is a bad sign. To Hull, calling me by my first name is a privilege of sorts. That he refers to me as Meyers now means that I’ve been demoted.
The next step will be them withdrawing their funding.
“You’ve got forty-eight hours,” Hull says and I blink at him, surprised. I didn’t expect him to budge on this.
“Thank you,” I say.
Hull shakes his head. “Don’t thank me. If you don’t find out anything in the two days I’m giving you, you’re firing Miss Brown. If you don’t do it I’m not even going to hesitate to withdraw.”
I swallow hard. If I don’t find anything I’m either going to lose Carly or lose the company. That is a hell of a choice to make.
“I’ll be back here on Friday, Meyers,” Hull says. “You better have something to show me.”
I nod. The other investors – all quiet, still – get up. They walk in a line out of my office with Hull leading the way. The symbolism isn’t lost on me.
When they are gone I lean back in my chair and sigh deeply. This is a big mess, bigger than anything I’ve been in before. And to think I could have prevented it all if I didn’t sleep with Carly.
But I wouldn’t change it for the world. The time I spent with her, with Scott and without, has been worth it. No matter what happens. We just must get to the bottom of this, sort out whatever went wrong with Emma and get her to cough up that fucking sex tape before even more damage is done.
I get up and open my door. Carly sits at her desk, looking miserable
“I’d like to talk to you,” I say. She looks up and nods, getting up immediately. I wait for her to cross the office space to my door and let her walk in, first. I close the door behind her.
“Is everything okay?” she asks. The blinds are still drawn and I step closer to her. I wrap my arms around her and pull her against me in a hug. It isn’t sexual at all. I just need to feel her against me, to know what is real and what isn’t.
She hugs me back, holding on until I let go. When she steps back, her eyes search my face.
“What did they say?” she asks. “Did they withdraw?”
I shake my head and sigh, turning to my chair. Carly sits down in a chair opposite. The desk is between us and I don’t like it, but we are at work and being appropriate is better.
“Not yet,” I say.
“Yet?”
I hesitate before I fill her in. “Hull gave me forty-eight hours.”
“To do what?”
“Find something worth our while. Or fire you.”
Carly’s eyes widen. “Me?” she asks.
I nod. “He says it’s bad publicity whether it’s true or not and you seem to be at the center of it.”
Carly looks down at her hands and I watch her intently, searching for a reaction.
“Well, he’s not wrong,” Carly says.
I frown. “That’s not what I was getting at,” I say.
“No, I know. But I am at the center of it. We can’t really argue about that.”
I don’t know what to say to that.
“What if you take your forty-eight hours and find nothing?” she asks. “Will you fire me?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“You’ll lose the company.”
She is right. I feel sick to my stomach when I think about it. But losing Carly seems so much worse. I don’t know when she has become a priority that high on my list, but there it is.
“I don’t want to lose you.”
Carly smiles and it’s warm and gentle. “Kevin…” She swallows. “You won’t lose me. In fact, I’ll leave.”
“What?” This is going wrong.
“No, just hear me out. What if I leave? The sex tape hasn’t come out so my reputation is still fine. I can get another job. You won’t be pressurized to find anything so soon because I’m gone, and you’ll get to keep your funding and save your company.”
“I can’t let you do that,” I say.
“Kevin, I told you I’m not going to let your company fold because of this. It’s the best way to handle it, don’t you think?”
“But you won’t be here,” I say.
Carly smiles. “You’re right, but we can still see each other. I don’t have to walk out of your life, just the company.”
She’s making a hell of a lot of sense, but I don’t want to do it this way. I don’t want to lose her. I don’t want her to work for someone else. I want her with me. I realize my determination to keep her is about so much more than just her job. I want to keep her all to myself.
“I think we need to confront your sister, instead. What’s to stop her from doing this again when you’re somewhere else? I don’t know what she’s playing at but if we can fix the root of the problem, everything else will follow suit.”
Carly nods. “You’re right. That will be better.”
I’m relieved. It seems like she doesn’t want to leave, either. She is willing to take one for the team and that’s admirable, but she wants to be here as much as I want her here. It’s good to know.
“How can we confront her?” I ask. Emma is Carly’s sister. If anyone knows how to handle it, it is her.
Carly looks at her hands, thinking. I watch her, taking in her porcelain skin, the dark hair that frames her face. Her eyes are dark, pensive. Her face is riddled with concentration. She’s set on finding a way to make this work for me. It means so much to me I don’t know how to put it into words.
She’s such a beautiful person in so many ways.
“I think I have an idea,” Carly says, looking up at me. Her eyes are impossibly big.
“What?” I ask.
“I have to deal with this myself,” she says. “If I tell you, you can’t get involved.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Because it’s my sister and I need to deal with her myself. But I think we can fix this.”
She takes a deep breath and nods as if she’s confirming it to herself.
“We have to fix this.”
Carly
Emma isn’t answering her phone. I know she’s at work – she is a finance manager at a company that won’t allow her time off unless she puts in leave or something is wrong.
She won’t be home in the day.
I leave the office, with Kevin’s permission and drive to her apartment. Ron won’t be there, either. He is barely in town as it is and as far as I know he still has his own place.
I’ve had a key for Emma’s apartment since she went on holiday with Ron a year ago and asked me to take care of her place while she was gone. She never asked for it back and it’s always a good idea to have a spare key to someone’s house in case of emergencies. Or, in case of having to break in and find a sex tape.
Routine stuff.
I park in front of the building and sneak to her front door feeling like a thief. I fight the urge to look over my shoulder.
I unlock her door and close it again behind me, locking myself in her apartment.
I look around. The place is always so damn tidy, it’s impossible to think that someone lives here and it isn’t just a show house
. My place is never this clean. Is cleaning all she does when she comes home? I’d hate to know what she thinks about my place when she comes to visit.
Where am I going to start? I must find that tape. Three people’s careers depend on it.
I already rummaged through her bedroom once before but I was upset, then, and I didn’t know exactly what I was looking for. Now, I know.
The downside is that the SD card is a hell of a lot smaller than a tape of some kind, or even a CD. Which means that it will be so much harder to find. But it is only two, I have some time to get through the house.
I start in the living room. I search in every little container, underneath ornaments, behind books and in vases and potted plants. I feel like a thief, an intruder, combing through Emma’s belongings, but it must be done.
I didn’t realize how many ornaments Emma has until I must turn then over one by one.
The living room is clear as far as I can tell.
I make my way to the dining room and open plan kitchen. I sigh. There are just as many ornaments in this room. Does she collect the stuff? God.
One by one, I lift them, searched them and put them back where they belong. I work my way through the dining room, the kitchen and the spare bedroom. I find nothing. No memory cards, nothing scandalous at all. Not even something I can use against her for blackmail the way she’s messing up my life. Part of me hopes I will find something – anything – I can use against her as leverage. But Emma’s life is as clean and pure as a sheet. There is nothing to use against her.
She’s being a bitch and she is so damn slippery there is nothing I can do about it.
In her bedroom, I feel like it’s a lost cause. The memory card can really be anywhere. What if it isn’t even in the apartment? What if she hid it in her car or put it in her purse so that it’s with her permanently? If I’m trying to hide something like that, it’s what I would do. I don’t think Emma is cunning enough for something like that, but she planted a camera in my home, recorded me having a threesome, tipped Raven Publishers about me sleeping with Kevin and threatened them with a sex tape. That’s a lot of cunning for a woman who’s so self-righteous lately.