would totally change.
It's forever.
Chapter 5
Saturday
This was a particularly difficult day for me, especially when my father was not
at home. And that would be a lot worse, since, besides dodging the attacks of Alex, still had to
to face the boiling fury that Janet had become.
I did not have much of a solution: either I would be locked up in my room, you know what, or
to see some shop window out there, because the third option, which would be to stay at home listening to
had been completely discarded.
I took my camera friend, who helped me a lot at that time, and walked towards
to the beach to photograph the waves of the sea. The day was sunny, with clouds
they resembled small cotton flakes; the sound of the water in the background relaxed me. Immergia
completely in abstract thoughts when the music of my cell phone rang:
- Stephanie ?! It was my mother's voice, in tears.
- Mother? What happened? I asked, startled by her crying.
He could hear only sobs on the other end of the line.
"For God's sake, Mother, speak something!" You're making me nervous! - begged.
"O ... Otavio ..." she stammered.
- What happened to him? I insisted.
- He was murdered! And the weeping began again.
- What?
- They killed my husband! She repeated. - They killed ...
"It can not be ... How?" Because? My God! - I could not find the words to express my
scare
"He was robbed when he left an ATM." Some witnesses said
Marginal ones took him in a car, I do not know if he reacted ... "He sobbed. - It was found ... dead ... on the road.
of Joá.
- Mother, calm down! I'm leaving immediately and buying a ticket on the first flight you have to
Brazil, "I promised, trying to comfort her. "I will not leave you alone, will you?"
- What am I going to do now? Her cry seemed inconsolable.
"Do not do anything stupid, do you hear?" Think of Juninho. He needs you ... And so do I, "I warned.
- My life is over! Ended!
"Never say that again, please!" Mom, I'm going now to see the passage ...
And I went back home in unleashed sangria. I tried to call my father several times, but he did not
I was answering the phone. Certainly he should have been in one of those lectures he used to preside over.
How to get the money from the ticket now? I asked in anguish.
The only way would be to use a credit card he had given me, even though the amount was limited,
giving only to the passage itself. Still, some would be lacking for the funeral expenses, which
I suspected Mom would not have. She did not have the habit of saving money in the case of a
unforeseen in the future, something that always worried me. So I was forced to take a few bucks that my
father kept it in his closet. Then I would understand him. He was sure that he would not
even because it was not that much money.
I left a note explaining everything and left for the airport with the suitcase totally messed up.
This time I could not sleep on the trip, I was too dismayed. He liked Otávio, he had been a
good companion for my mother and she felt complete with his presence. I could not even
to imagine the size of the pain that plagued her. And there would still be other consequences: Juninho had been orphaned.
All this sounded like an absurd story, a nightmare hard to believe. Like the people
could they kill a family man for money? Did not this killer monster have one? Really
that the answer was no, the question would be: what for? What would anyone gain from it? Take the father, the
husband, son, friend of others ... This was so stupid, so sordid, too cruel, as if
life was not worth a penny ...
They left a trail of suffering that we would take for a lifetime!
When I arrived in Rio, the situation seemed more and more pitiful. My mother was a lifeless being.
and had very little to tell. Only a cousin of Otávio came to help her in that
moment, while I did not arrive, or even a funeral the man would have. I had to make the
money he brought to bear all subsequent expenses, which included: burial, funeral,
registry office, among others.
The days that followed were bitter.
I had to have enough balance to hold the despair, followed by my mother's apathy, the
Juninho's crises, which began to have episodes of rabies access and night terror, as well as administer the
home - someone had to cook, wash, pass ... - and pay the bills, which were not few. I believe
that I just did not get it because I received support from Anne, who visited me constantly, offering her
company.
"How are things around here?" Asked Anne.
- Poor ones. They could not be worse, "I said, exhausted.
"Can I help with anything?"
- You're already helping me. I need to talk to someone who is balanced or I'll end up getting
crazy I put my hands on my head, intending to massage the temples, which ached endlessly.
"What about your father?" Any news?
"That's another problem. I've been calling him for days and he's not answering the phone. This is getting
Strange ... He never stopped responding to my calls, "I sighed, worried.
"And his wife, what does she say?"
"Janet does not know anything either. It's another one that's freaking out. He should have come back by now.
- How absurd! How could this happen? She stroked my hands in comfort.
"And there's another thing that worries me ..."
- What?
"My father has not deposited my allowance yet. She's been late for days. Otávio had no fixed job,
therefore, she will not receive pension. Mom, you know, has not worked for years ...
"I can try to get you some," he offered.
"Anne, your allowance will not be enough to cover the expenses of a whole house, it's a lot.
"I know that, but I can help you, can not I?"
- Thanks. I do not know what would happen to me without you here to offer me support - thank you,
thrilled.
***
The weeks passed as a nightmare that did not end.
I was visibly tired, both physically and emotionally. I never had to deal with so many
problems at the same time. The most distressing hour was in the evening, when it was obligatory.
to conceal a tranquility that did not exist to make Juninho sleep and cherish my mother, who
passed the whole dawns in clear, completely faded.
And the picture would still be worse, or rather staggering. I have noticed this since I received a
interurban phone call.
- Janet? I asked hopefully.
- Stephanie, are you sitting? She said, trying to get ready.
"Janet, what ...?" Janet, my father ...? My legs began to shake.
- We do not know yet. He disappeared! No one knows anything about it! No one saw Allan! -
he was exasperated.
- Co ... How can anyone know anything about him? I stammered. "He did not go to Congress?"
"Yes, but they did not see you there." His lecture had to be canceled because he did not show up.
- There is? It can not be! I saw the tickets! I also saw the hotel voucher ... "I insisted.
"They found his things at the hotel; since she left the first day, she never came back, "she sighed,
defeated
"Have they called the police?" My despair had reached its peak.
"The police have been working on the case for days. They could not find any clues but a
>
a note he wrote in his own hand.
"What had I written on the note?"
"Do not look for me," she said bitterly.
- It makes no sense! He would never do such a thing to me, let alone with you! -
I started to scream.
"Yeah, but it looks like it did," she said harshly, as if he had run off with another woman.
I could not believe it. In such a desperate situation, she could find a reason to
feel jealous of him?
"Janet, are you a fool?" Do not you know the man you sleep with? He would never do that! I lost
patience.
"I did not recognize you any more lately ..." She distilled her anger.
"Janet, you're not jealous now!" The case is serious! Put your head in place! If he had run away with
Someone, the least you should do was bring your own documents and clothes, do not you think? He should have
been kidnapped, I do not know ...
- It's ok. As soon as I have any news, notice immediately - promised, surrendered.
"Please," I pleaded, at last.
After I hung up the phone, my only reaction was to lower my head and cry.
And I cried a lot.
I spent almost the whole afternoon in tears, until I tried to compose myself and start analyzing things
with more coolness.
I could not collapse like this, but I could not help thinking that our picture could not be
worse.
We were surrounded by tragedies everywhere.
My father disappeared, and we did not even know for sure that he was alive. The money came to an end
and we had no way of sustaining ourselves. Mother remained in a state of pitiful depression, Juninho
gave visible signs of revolt and I ... I was left with a truck weighing tons on the shoulders. And not
I knew how much I could handle being strong.
As soon as lucidity began to come back to mind, I decided to take some steps to
problems. Someone had to act with reason in that house. I just remembered a
old savings book I had and went to the bank to get it back in full. It was not much
thing, however, maybe you can afford to pay the most urgent bills and put food on the plate for about a
month or two, if we could save as much as we could. We would have to cut the superfluous, signatures,
restrict the use of light, the telephone ... Until Christmas and the New Year would be forgotten.
More importantly, he needed to get a job. Immediately, we would either starve. THE
my mother too. But how to make the creature come back to life?
A whole month of expectation, and every day the hope of receiving some positive
emptied. We were much closer to reaching a conclusion that my heart
not to accept: my father could not have died. Could not.
But what other explanation would it have? With what intention someone would kidnap you, if there was not until then
a request for ransom? If he had run away for any reason, why would not he call me a secret? He
I knew very well that it would make me desperate, I would not do such a thing, I had conviction.
On the other hand, I also could not find a justification for someone murdering him. Dad was a
a man of integrity, faithful to his duties, extremely dedicated to the treatment of his patients.
He used his research to try to find new ways to heal them, and he did not
such high value.
Headache.
That's what I got with so many questions, not solutions.
"Did not your father have money in the bank?" Anne asked, once again giving me strength.
- The money in the bank can not be withdrawn. The account is not joint with Janet. They are not married
and only daddy has the password. In addition, the body was not found, therefore, we can not require it, the
unless it is given as dead. And that can take years, "I replied, feeling heavy eyes.
"You think this really happened?"
"I can not believe that." He would not ... I have to hope, but it's getting pretty difficult.
- What about your car? Had not he given her one?
"The car was bought in my father's name, I can not sell it."
- And now? What will you do? She asked with an air of regret.
"I have to give Mom a real shock and look for a job, urgent. The diploma that
I took it will serve for something, after all.
"I can contribute by sending your resume to some hospitals," he offered.
"That would help me a lot," I agreed, thanking him deeply.
"Sleep," he advised.
- I'm trying.
***
The situation seemed to never end.
Until he had gotten a job in a private hospital in Copacabana, but it was only to cover
the maternity leave of another nurse, and therefore the salary would only give to approximately three or
four months, no more than that.
I had to restrict spending even more, only the basics of basic would have priority. Until Juninho
had to sacrifice himself: he was transferred to a public school until things were settled,
also beginning to deal with his congenital foot problem in an institution with philanthropic purposes.
I no longer used the cell phone, except in an emergency so I did not have to spend more. Mom to
who began selling clothes to one of her acquaintances, and how she knew of her artistic skills in
make jewelry, I bought some cheap pieces so that I could produce and sell them. She had a
natural talent for this and that would help us in some way.
Only at the close of the fourth month, when she was being forced out of work to
to give place to its true occupant, is that I received a proposal to work in a hospital in São
Paulo, earning a slightly better salary.
Nor could he create such expectations, for there was nowhere to be. Would have to rent
a room at a very affordable price, preferably close to work so that you do not have to
spend with tickets. Every month, I would send the money to Rio until finally we
normalized.
Whoever got this feat to fix this job was Anne. Her cousin, Iris, was working
in that place, and as soon as he heard of the spot, he immediately called to let them know. I could not refuse this
opportunity, much less waste time. My mother would have to be strong and fight with me,
we would be lost.
"Mother, I have to go today or I'm losing the job," I said in a serious tone.
"You have too heavy a load on your shoulders, daughter," she said, worried about me.
- Someone has to do something.
- I'm trying to react. I've been able to sell some parts, "he said apologetically.
- I know. I'm not complaining about anything, just asking you to fight me. I can not be
in two places at the same time, I am not omnipresent.
"I'll make it," he promised. "The greater problem will be to manage your lack."
- I'll miss you too. I love you very much, Mother, believe me. Let's make it all worth it.
"It will," he said.
After that, I gave her and Juninho a long and long hug, having to listen to her sad little baby
with my departure, as if he fears the loss of another important person in his life. I resisted
emotion and I packed my bags, leaving for São Paulo, city where the biggest transformation of my life
would happen.
Chapter6
Sao Paulo.
How strange is life.
I never thought I'd ever change to that city. Not that I did not like her, otherwise,
even visited her frequently for shopping and some complementary exams in Juninho. THE
magnitude of those skyscrapers, t
he effervescence of nightlife, culture, cuisine ...
And ... Hmmm! The Japanese restaurants! Everything was impressive.
However, I felt the lack of the sea, that beach climate, the sense of freedom that the waves hit
brings with it. Under no circumstances had I imagined myself so, leaning in the window of a cheap pension,
watching the crazy pace of traffic at dusk.
Now, I'm really alone ... "I reflected.
Or rather, me and my emptiness. He always accompanied me wherever he was, in any
season and intensely. And all he did was just grow up, as if nothingness could be measured.
I was practically content with the inevitable, after the London police searched for
closed. In fact, absurd! Not so many months have passed.
According to emails previously sent by Janet, the case did not
interests on the part of the British. When a small lane appeared, immediately afterwards they
contradicted themselves, claiming deception or lack of circumstantial evidence. Sometimes they did not even look like
to remember more of the fact. It was almost as if they said, "By now, he's already dead. There is no more
nothing that can be done ".
Finding the strength to move on and getting back to life was not easy, but necessary. Who knows,
only one day he would find peace and a little of that happiness, to which still
had not been presented.
I waited for a few hours until Iris appeared at the boarding house. She agreed to accompany me to the
hospital, show the floor and indicate who I should talk to.
"Thank you very much for all your attention," I thanked her. - You do not know how much this job is being
important to me at the moment.
- You're welcome. You can count on me whatever comes next. Anne commented on her situation. I know a lot
and that's it, "replied Iris.
"It will be great to have someone you know to talk." I'm almost totally lost in this
City. It took me hours to find the address of the boarding house, I even created blisters on my feet from so much walking. By the way,
Thank you for this statement too.
"I just needed to stay here once when I separated from my first husband," she said.
Iris seemed to be a kind person and possessed a rather peculiar beauty. Her hair was red and
curly, fire-looking, and clear eyes. Her skin was full of little chickens, which
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