bothered I could not quite understand the reason, but I kept my foot firm,
to be upset about it.
The fact is that he assessed the papers for a moment, not relaxing for a minute. Sighed
nervous and fired:
"Had not I asked for a myelogram for her, too?" Where is it?
"It's not what I found written on her card," I said, not letting me shake her mood.
exaggeratedly inquisitive to speak.
"I'm sure I asked," he said.
He held out his hand so I could return the patient's file and kept shooting at me with his
blue eyes, now in a deeper tone. He sought from the papers his request and obviously did not
found it. He leafed again, suddenly stopping:
"There's a sheet missing here," he said.
"The medical record has not left this room, Doctor," I rejoined.
- The uncontrol in this hospital is making me angry! He shouted, already withdrawing from the room.
At bottom, it seemed that he wanted to find some reason to disapprove of my work or not
have to look at my face. There was no mistaking it, the sheets were numbered. What I had
done wrong? I did the terrible sin of not knowing the operation of the hospital in my
first day? I'm five minutes late? Or did he think I stole that leaf?
Let there be patience to bear this man!
I took a deep breath for a while, waiting for him to return, which did not happen anytime soon.
I took the glucose test and other routine exams on the patient, while the enfezadinho
it did not look the same. I heard a call from another room and asked to leave,
possible to all. In fact, it was just to exchange a serum. It did not take me five minutes to
and he had already attended to that lady. The patient was not even
living room.
I found it all very strange. This rapidity was not common in this type of treatment,
especially when he attended. Well, at least that's what I was told.
Oh, you know what? Screw you!
I would not worry about that anymore. If he did not want to look more to my face, at least
to leave me alone. He would get on with his own bad mood!
Dr. Richard should have taken care of the rest of the patients in his own room or gone,
I saw him more on that day. Not that I really cared ... I mean, I do not believe it until
background was yes, but only because I wanted to be able to understand his free aversion to me.
Only that.
***
The days went by and insomnia continued to consume me daily, bringing out all the
problems and anguish he felt. I could not stop worrying about my mother in that state
depressed, the nonconformity by the unresolved case of my father, the financial part, the instability
of employment ...
Anyway, staying alone for so many hours made the head think too much and hurt without
stop.
His temples and neck were throbbing.
That tranquilizer was the only viable palliative at the moment, which served to unravel the thoughts
and force the brain to disconnect from the power outlet. He knew full well that it was not right to do self-
but I swear I did not care about it while that pain tormented me with such
intensity.
If somebody told me some time ago that I would need some kind of medicine to erase, I would
even grace. I've never had problems with insomnia before, seriously. For me, sleeping was even a relief, a
kind of escape from my emptiness and, therefore, one of the few things I did willingly, without any
lump of remorse. I just did not expect that remedy would trouble my life for the second
turn.
Let this be a lesson to me.
I woke up late again the next morning. I did not hear the cell phone's alarm clock ring. Luck has been
that my internal clock had not been failing lately, I just could not get coffee. Had to leave
running through the streets, arriving at the hospital drenched in sweat, but in British time.
I put on my uniform quickly and hurried down the hallway, praying that this time would be okay. The
Dr. Richard's errands were always a veritable box of surprises. I hoped that
at least on that day was not rejected as vehemently as the last, although she doubted
a little of it.
And it would be no different. Of course not.
Already from the door of the room I could observe: he was examining the arm of a patient who needed to make a
blood collection with a serious air of concern. Her hair was wet and
who had just taken a shower.
Could it be that she could look even better than she already was? To this day, I doubted not.
"Where's the nurse on duty?" He asked, looking around.
I practically ran in to try to help what I could. The noise of my sizzling jump
a little, probably bothered him, and he turned abruptly toward me. It seemed
that the figure here always caused him some kind of fright, because it was not the first time he saw the face
perplexed in that way. His eyes always looked at me before, but at that moment,
strangely they were descending beyond my face, following a droplet of sweat descending
by the neck to the nameplate.
After watching her for a while, she raised her eyes again and fired,
"No one taught you how to tie a club?" Can not you see that her skin is very
slim? See how she got swollen! He showed with his white fingers the arm of the old lady, who
She stared in amazement, not understanding at all.
I just froze.
Did I hear you right? Was he accusing me? He had just arrived and had not even entered the
living room...
"But ... I ... do not ..." I stammered.
"Nurse Stephanie, would you like someone to treat you this way?" Could you be the
need this service one day, "he reprimanded me once more.
I was incredulous, practically static. I wanted to scream, to react to the height, but I did not. Instead
I swallowed hard, and I answered in a broken voice, wounded inwardly:
"You're right, Doctor. Please excuse me. In a silent movement and trying not to tremble
in front of him, I removed the club and put it back into position. Then I asked the patient:
"Are you comfortable now, Mrs. Ruth?" She nodded, smiling.
I raised my face and stared at him for the last time, hoping he would pass me some more instruction,
or, who knows, another complaint.
Throughout the process, I tried to keep my head down, trying not to
eyes, only responding to what is strictly necessary. I kept asking myself the whole time why he
even had not removed the damn club from the patient's arm, since it was a procedure
ridiculously simple. The only conclusion I could get was that I was waiting for the opportunity to
to hell with patience or even to humiliate me.
And, frankly, he was almost achieving his purpose. After that, he spoke little to me,
he was going almost exclusively to patients, and when he needed something, most of the time,
he suggested moving his own hands. His attitude only reinforced what he intimately
conceive: he did not want to keep any contact with me, even the exclusively professional. And I,
obviously, had no intention of instigating him further.
As soon as I noticed that I no longer needed my services, I left without deigning to look back,
same way he used to.
Out of his sight, I hurried on and ran into the employee's bathroom,
elbows in the sink.
I took a deep breath. It seemed really
difficult to calm down. How could a person be so insensitive?
He would have to maintain superhuman control to stay there. And it could not in any way
to give up, my family depended on it. What angered the most about this story is that even with
everything that had happened, I had to admit: something in him left me shaken, and I was fully
certain that it was not due to her rare beauty.
He was ... mysterious, intriguing. His evasive eyes meant fighting to hide something ...
Hate! You could not understand me! The guy was totally unfair to me and I could still think
bullshit She must be going crazy or totally stupid! But nothing would let me down, no!
I would return to my post determined to keep my pose, and with my head held high. After all, I did not commit
error.
That's exactly what I did.
I left the bathroom and walked more composed, going straight to have a coffee in the machine that was in the bottom
of the corridor; my throat was dry.
Dry and thirsty.
The lack of financial situation forced me to lose the custom of eating at night and to be left without drinking anything
until that hour it made me sore, my lips would stick.
I pressed the button, waited a few seconds, and took it out in a plastic cup, turning quickly
to return to work. And for this, once again, I did not expect to: I had a meeting with Dr. Richard,
letting the coffee cup fall to the floor. I had not realized he was coming from behind ...
What a plague! Why did it have to be just him? Would not that torture stop?
I practically agonized with the situation.
- Oops! Sorry, doctor. "I did not mean to," I murmured, embarrassed by the distraction,
to collect the dirt he had made.
He suddenly crouched down with me and took my arm. However, in an act almost suspect,
he quickly picked up his hand, looking at her as if he had felt a shock. For a few seconds, our
faces were very close and I could see how attractive he was.
My God, he was incredibly handsome!
Her iris glowed in an intense violet-blue, with reddish patches in the background, color that never
had seen it before. And that look hypnotized me ...
I felt a shiver, perhaps a little from the cold temperature of his fingers as they touched my skin,
or, perhaps, realizing how close we were to each other. Immediately, my heart
began to beat in an uncontrollable way without asking me for any kind of permission. The cheekbones
also showed signs of redness.
What was wrong with me? Did I get out of control as a result of simple contact?
That's ridiculous! My nerves must be in tatters, after all the misfortunes that have occurred!
To intensify the picture, it also exuded a wraparound scent, hard to ignore. I had
desire to pull on his lab coat to inspire that scent.
His eyes, in turn, seemed not to want to detach from mine and gave me the distinct feeling of
that he had stopped breathing for a moment, swallowing hard. Then those same eyes
were closed, as if trying to avoid some kind of contact or thought; when finally
opened it again, lifted me by the lab coat and fired:
"Nurse Stephanie, please, please come with me to my office," he said.
seriousness and turned, walking towards the requested destination.
Dr. Richard returned to his office, still looking at his own hands in a strange expression,
with the jaw contracted and looking like biting his own lip. I followed in his footsteps already imagining what
was about to happen. The way the people talked about it, I began to prepare spiritually
to be fired. He was not the owner or the director, but, as I heard, he had a
in the hospital, which gave her some powers.
And the despair was taking me completely during the journey to that enclosure.
My brain was spinning, wondering what it would be like to move forward if I became unemployed.
How do I pay the bills, put food on my little brother's plate ...? Maybe the money did not even give
less to pay for the return ticket to Rio or to honor the expenses of the pension!
I'm chipped, I thought.
I walked into her practically shrunken room, head down, lips pale and fearing
for the worse. Except to my surprise, this time I was wrong:
- I have to apologize formally. The tone in his words sounded sincere. -
It seems that I made a mistake, the patient confessed that the club was not put by the lady, so ...
I took a deep breath and felt immediate relief.
"No problem, Doctor. I'm here to help, not to challenge the doctors, "I replied,
though I could barely hear my own voice, so nervous.
His eyes came back to me again.
"I see, but ... I do not like being unfair to anyone.
"That's right," I said, wanting to shorten the conversation. "Do you still need my services?"
"I want to know who made that mistake," he demanded. It was obvious that I knew. It yielded the
a nurse named Magdalene. I also did not understand why she had tied the club
the patient's arm and then disappeared without consuming the act. However, I would never denounce it.
Never. He, if he wished, to look at the duty scale.
"Doctor, I do not usually give away, much less judge my colleagues on duty. - I was faithful to my
concepts.
"I see," he said, giving the impression of choosing the right words. - This is a
both hard for me. I do not like to make slips. We deal with human beings, precious lives.
Any mistake can be fatal.
"To err is human, Doctor," I interrupted, finally creating the courage to rebut it. - All of us
we make mistakes from time to time, even the best of mortals.
Those words seemed to have had a strange effect on him. Dr. Richard stayed for seconds.
meditating. I even had the feeling that there was a twinge of pain in his thoughts and
resignation. When she answered again, her voice sounded lower, perhaps even more sympathetic. It seemed
who spoke to himself:
- Yes, of course ... Humans. It's just that I'm such a perfectionist that sometimes I forget that.
How could anyone forget that he was human? I asked myself. I wonder if he
Was he crazy? Did he think himself a God? Was he so perfect that he did not feel more deadly?
A mythical being? That was too much pretense! I have had the opportunity to meet people convinced in the
life, now, this from there extrapolated the acceptable limit ...
I took a deep breath, searching for the strength to end that absurd dialogue, but before that, he
continued:
"Honestly, I hope you accept my apologies." He returned to the subject, staring back at me.
with that magnetic look, coming a little closer.
Still angry at his petulance, I managed to recover myself and look away from him, answering:
"Apologies accepted, Doctor. Can I go back to work now?
- Certainly.
His voice betrayed a hint of disappointment at his firm conduct. However, I was not
to try to discover the rest of their reactions. I also did not want my own reactions to me.
denounced them, afraid that they would become too obvious.
I left the room quickly, toward the corridor counter to find out who should
answer then. I needed to dive headlong into work to try to somehow forget
all the incidents of that unhappy day.
I returned with the clipboard on my chest, along with the sphygmomanometer and stethoscope. To
pass through the entrance of his room, I noticed that the do
or was still open and I instinctively looked
inside, finding Dr. Richard seated, one hand resting on his forehead and
another analyzing a thermometer, displaying an indecipherable expression. If for a moment I had the
The impression that he was disbelieving at the result he saw, on the other hand, seemed extremely worried.
Were any of our patients feverish? Funny, I measured everyone and I did not see it.
absolutely nothing ... Dr. Richard also could not be, his hands were just, including,
cooled by the action of air-conditioning.
It must be no big deal, "I calculated.
I stepped forward and went to meet a very pleasant lady who was waiting for me smiling. I checked your
pressure, pulse, and measured the temperature as I listened to the stories she told of her granddaughter.
"Your pressure is fine, Mrs. Dulce," I said. "Better than a girl of twenty."
"I'm old, but I'm taking care of myself. I walk every day, I avoid sweets and fries, "she said proudly.
"You do very well, congratulations!"
"If it was not for the disease, I'd still be working," he complained.
"You'll be fine, just have a little patience," I said. - I know that the treatment
is a little time-consuming, but it's usually very efficient, especially in your case.
God hear you.
- He will listen.
She suddenly changed the subject.
"Is the doctor there your boyfriend?" He asked, speaking softly.
- Who? I asked in amazement.
"The one standing there, looking at you from the door ..."
And then I turned my head, finding Dr. Richard watching me. My heart started to accelerate.
again. However, I looked forward again, somewhat stunned. I heard footsteps in the hallway and he
out.
"Of course not," I said, emphasizing the obvious.
He seemed interested.
"Of course not.
Deep down, after all, well I wanted to ...
It was too hard to admit, especially when, in fact, he only kicked me. It will
Was he dealing with some kind of curse? I was one of those women who like to get caught, to be
humiliated by men?
No, of course not! I could never live this way. In any case, certainly that
patient was wrong. I've never been able to attract someone so fascinating, I've grown accustomed to that fact. He
I should just be checking if I made a mistake, as usual.
"I've lived a lot in this life, my dear," she interrupted my thoughts. "I've seen things that
Only Two Of Us Page 7