“Oh please. What, you think I can’t last a month with the same guy?”
“You haven’t before.”
Ouch! Tanner never cut her slack. “You should be glad I don’t,” Tucker said recklessly. “I left the field wide open for you.”
“Yeah,” Tanner pushed past her and jammed a knit cap on her head. “I definitely needed your help.”
She slammed out of the house. Tucker hurled a boot through the open mudroom door.
“You’re out.” Laird poked his head into the mudroom, the boot in one hand.
Tucker slumped against the cubbies holding many shoes.
“No kidding. My sister is a pain in the ass. She doesn’t want to wear a dress for her wedding.”
“Not touching that one,” Laird said. “But can you show me how to get into the attic? Your sister said there is some china and crystal and holiday platters up there. I thought I’d pull it down and see what I had to work with for the wedding brunch.”
“Work with?” She looked up at him.
“Yeah. Since I’m feeding all the ranch hands, I figured I’d also prepare her wedding brunch. She was going to order food from somewhere in town, but I thought I’d put together some ideas and save her the hassle.”
Tucker felt her smile return. “Yes,” she pumped her fist in the air. “Decorations and china and food. I can help with that. And,” Tucker twisted her hair up on her head so she’d be less likely to get dusted with any spider webs going up the attic stairs. “I’m still going to get her a dress.”
*
Laird parked his Jeep down near the park, barely squeezing into a tight spot. For a small town, the Stroll he’d been hearing about for the last week and a half was more involved than he’d anticipated. He saw a few food carts gathered in the park, Christmas lights and decorations strung between them creating a festive atmosphere. Families were already buttoned into their winter coats, scarves, hats, and gloves and walking along Main Street stopping into many of the shops. Main Street was decked out for Christmas with banners hanging out of each shop, holiday- or winter-themed window displays, and some decorations even spilled out onto the sidewalk. The entire length of Main Street glowed and beckoned.
“I’ve never gone in so hard with Christmas,” Laird said, not sure if he wanted to get out of the Jeep or not. “We had a tree and a few gifts, but it was more about church and community service.”
Tucker laughed. “We’ve got plenty of church and community service but Marietta likes to pull all the knobs off when the holidays come. The whole town shows up. There’s Sage’s chocolate samples and hot cocoa, the Java Café makes special espresso drinks, there’s the tree lighting ceremony and carols and… I’d forgotten how much I love this. Marietta goes all out for the rodeo too. Just wait until—” She broke off and bit her lower lip.
He had to stifle his groan. She bit her lip when she was uncertain, and it affected him far too much on a sexual level. He wanted to kiss her. Pull her into his arms and kiss her and touch her and get out of such a public place while he did it.
Laird continued to grip his steering wheel as if to remind himself to keep his hands and other body parts to himself. He felt like his control unraveled daily, and like an overexposed and overused climbing rope, his control was going to fray and snap, precipitating a disaster. The nights were damned near impossible to sleep through. He was so hyper aware of Tucker’s presence, her scent, her movements in the dark as she shifted on the couch, her sighs as she slept. As for him, he’d damn near given up on sleeping. Hoping ass-kicking workouts would settle his body down somewhat, he had taken a month-long membership at a fitness club run by a former soldier, Lane Scott, who’d been severely injured by an IED, but hadn’t let losing the lower part of both his legs slow him down.
Made his own problems of finding out he was adopted and being dumped as a partner and potential father by Nina seem almost damn insignificant. Except the baby. Nina had been right. He hadn’t looked like an ideal partner. He hadn’t been ready.
And now?
What was his next move? How was he going to become the kind of man he needed to be in order to be a solid partner, be in a relationship that wasn’t transitory and centered around sex?
“What?” He looked at Tucker, suddenly wondering what he’d missed. She must had said something, but he’d been drifting on his own tide of worthless thoughts.
“I just realized that you won’t be here rodeo weekend,” she said softly. “This,” she made a hand motion between them, “is just pretend. To help me out with Tanner. And… I still don’t know what it is you’re looking for.” Her eyes searched his although he knew she’d find no answers there. Tucker had guts. She could lay herself bare. And what was he giving back?
“Let’s go. We’re meeting the others in the Graff lobby.” Tucker hopped out of the Jeep, but it took Laird longer. He felt like she’d just slapped him with the truth of his entire existence. And he knew now, gut deep, that he didn’t want to be that man, who held himself apart and watched from the sidelines anymore.
Laird followed Tucker into the hotel and whistled low.
“Pretty fancy, missy, for a ranchin’ town.” He made his voice super hick.
Tucker laughed and he was relieved to see the sparkle back in her green eyes. She was so beautiful, but now that he knew her better, he found himself more attracted to her inner beauty. Her humor and strength and efforts to do the right thing. Her stumbles and vulnerability. Her honesty. Her sensuality. Her generosity.
She shared her food, her likes, her apartment, her hometown. Laird looked around the lobby, and the pillars of the restored hotel wrapped in lights and velvet and greenery. It oozed class and history and warmth.
“I like your hometown, Tucker,” he said, framing her face in his palms. “Thank you for sharing these past almost two weeks with me,” he said, suddenly wanting her to know how much she’d come to mean to him.
“Halfway done with our challenges,” she said, trying for a smile, but he could hear the hollowness edging her voice.
“Tucker, we don’t have to be—”
“Tucker!” Laird was interrupted as a young boy seemed to fly across the room and grab Tucker around the middle. He squeezed her hard and then looked up, his heart-shaped face glowed with happiness, and there was a chocolate smudge by his left cheek.
“You did not go by Sage’s without me, Parker. That is a party foul.”
“I didn’t go in, but they were handing out samples as we walked by to get here.”
“And where’s my sample?”
Parker rubbed his tummy, and Laird found himself charmed even as a pang of sadness tinged his heart. He no longer had a family. His adoptive mother was dead. He’d never known his biological mother, and his twin could be anywhere or nowhere. And Nina had taken away his chance at fatherhood. Would they have had a son?
“Mister P,” Tucker shook her head and laughed. “You own me big. Shall we start picking our favorite gingerbread house?”
They joined Luke and Tanner as well as Parker’s parents, Talon and Colt. Tanner and Tucker’s father, Bruce McTavish, had backed out at the last minute, and while Laird didn’t blame him because there was a lot of tension when he was in the room, he could tell Tucker was disappointed and mad. Still she rallied, plastered on a smile that soon seemed more natural as they walked around looking at each of the houses, and the conversation flowed naturally. He found himself comfortable with Luke and Colt in a way he hadn’t expected. Laird had heard so much about Luke and had wondered if Tucker were being honest about no longer feeling like Luke was her cowboy she’d let get away. Laird was not an expert, but clearly Luke was in love with Tanner.
If they were stressed about the ranch, he couldn’t tell. Luke, who’d been traveling for most of the past two weeks for work, had only arrived home late last night and didn’t let Tanner much out of arm’s reach. He usually had at least one arm around her waist or around her shoulder or resting on her hip, and he often pulled h
er close to whisper something in her ear or to press a kiss on her temple. She seemed more relaxed than she ever did at the ranch.
Laird found himself sucked into admiring all the gingerbread houses with the others, which amused him. Everyone was pretending that they were doing their duty giving Parker a proper Christmas season, yet he could tell all the adults were just as into it, except maybe Parker’s dad whose expression rarely gave anything away. Tucker, her eyes shining, kept her hand tucked in his the entire night, and he couldn’t tell if that was a message to Tanner or to him.
After the gingerbread competition, in which they voted on their favorites, the group wandered into the room where Santa had set up shop. Again for Parker, but somehow all the adults ended up taking pictures in various poses.
“I shouldn’t be in these,” he whispered to Tucker.
“Why not? It’s fun. Didn’t like the big guy when you were little?”
“It’s not that,” he said. “This is a family event for all of you.”
She leaned back against him, tilting her head back to smile up at him. She took his breath away with that smile. She really did. “Am I really that bad?”
“No,” he protested. “But…”
“Just enjoy it Laird. You lost your mother this year. Tanner and I are about to lose our ranch and probably our dad sometime in the coming year so tonight let’s just all hold onto this moment and be friends and family.”
And somehow that made sense. And when Santa’s elves motioned all three of the men to stand together behind Santa with Parker grinning on Santa’s lap, Laird joined them without thinking.
“That’s so sweet,” Santa’s elf said. “The three brothers.”
Her comment caused Laird’s gut to lurch. He’d been so caught up in his work at the ranch and with Tucker he hadn’t made any progress on his search. He hadn’t made the effort to make progress.
“I like this brother,” Luke joked. “Not as bossy or mouthy as Kane. And he cooks and helps out around the ranch instead of standing around looking pretty and running his mouth full of so called advice,” Luke smiled at Colt and Laird. “I say we keep him.”
“Keep Kane too,” Colt said. “He handles the conversation.”
Laird felt a sharp pang for his missing twin. Would his twin have a family? Be taking photos with his or her kids with Santa right now? Did he have other half siblings?
“I’m getting a dad for Christmas,” Parker told Santa. “And my mom is getting married. And my aunt and uncle are going to come live with us. Not in our house but on the property.”
For a moment, Laird could feel the tense stillness of their group. Santa never broke eye contract with Parker.
“That sounds like you already have the best and most loving presents,” Santa said, handing Parker a candy cane. “Looks like I’ll have very little to bring to your house this year in the way of toys.”
“More Legos would be good, and I’d like a brother or a cousin,” Parker said. “And for Chloe Abrams to stop sticking notes in my binder with bunches of hearts and lip stickers. They smell like strawberry bubble gum and it’s gross.”
Parker hopped off Santa’s lap and Laird could barely stifle his snort of laughter.
“That’s a bit early for the girls, P,” Luke said.
“Our boy has skills.” Colt looked at Talon.
“Like you didn’t have girls chasing you in school,” Talon teased as they left the Graff.
“He totally did,” Tucker said. “I hit on him as a freshman. Totally sent me on my way with just a look, but there was a big line behind me.”
“The truth is out,” Talon laughed. “You told me you were shy in high school,” Talon shoulder-checked Colt.
“Was. Don’t remember school or girls like that.”
“You totally had girls drooling in high school,” Tucker insisted, “because I remember every girl was hot for you and Nick Palotay. Odes were written to your…” She covered up Parker’s ears. “Ass.”
“Did you know ‘ass’ is another word for donkey?” Parker said. “I learned that in Sunday school.”
“Okay,” Tanner bit back a laugh. “Thanks for that trip down memory lane, not, T. So, what do you want to do next? Hay ride? Sage’s chocolates? Copper Mountain Gingerbread and Dessert Company? Hot chocolate? Food Carts?”
“You’re making it like a checklist,” Tucker protested. “The Stroll is meant to be sipped and savored not gulped.”
“Wine, not beer,” Colt said, and Laird realized that the soldier who was probably about 6’3” and built like he owned a gym and could lift it with one hand, might be quiet but definitely had a sense of humor.
He found himself enjoying the evening, the company, and he had a sense of belonging that he often didn’t even get on his climbs that he lead or practiced with other climbers, probably because he was relaxed, being himself.
Or what was left of him. And he found himself wanting to open up more to Tucker. Each time she brushed against him, or looked at him as they enjoyed the stroll with her friends and family. Tucker made everything easy, but he couldn’t help wondering what her true feelings were. Was she so focused on him because she wanted to show her sister she was over Luke, or was she really over Luke?
Time to stop dancing around and get the facts. On his past and on Tucker’s feelings. Yeah his timing sucked but he was done hesitating and worrying. Laird had always been a man of action. Time to start acting like it. He fingered the chain with the silver ring at the end of it. A tie to his past, but he wasn’t going to need it for his future.
*
“I thought I would mind having to share our space,” he whispered to Tucker as they wove in and out of bundled up families on Miracle Lake. She smiled.
“It’s ours later,” she said doing a little spin stop in front of him and holding her hands out in a “ta da!” gesture. “I always loved how the trees ring the lake here. I always thought the town should decorate them. It could be a family activity, adopt a tree for a family in need a bit like the gingerbread competition, but to raise money for families in need. With increased tourism, Marietta is doing okay economically, but there are still many families struggling.”
“You have a good heart, Tucker McTavish,” he said, cocking his head and looking at her, wide green eyes, creamy complexion, and auburn curls tumbling around her shoulders from under her white knit cap embroidered with blue snowflakes, each one dotted with a blingy rhinestone.
She had made this happen. Sharing her family for the Stroll. The hayride, the Santa pictures, the temporary job. The view of small town ranch life. A feel of belonging when he’d felt so shut out and down after Nina’s total rejection and then his mother’s death and the secrets she’d held onto until the end. All Tucker.
“You’re the only one who would say that, Laird,” she said, her smile slipping a little.
So giving but so sure no one wanted her gifts. He loved the husk in her voice. It was so sexy, vulnerable and intriguing all at once, but he hated that she didn’t realize her gift of warmth and inclusion.
“Everyone who meets you, Tucker, should say that.”
Her smile dazzled. “Think you can catch me?” she teased and spun away and started skating fast.
He kicked up his speed, careful to stay on the outside away from the younger and less experienced skaters. Tucker looked over her shoulder, hair blowing sideways, catching in her lips as she laughed. Whoosh, it was like a Santa Ana wind, the kind that blew hard and hot across the California desert uprooting much in its path as it flew in a fury to churn up the Pacific, that blew through his heart, scorching everything that had been before leaving him clean, new.
She was so keenly alive, unlike any woman he’d ever met. He felt whole with her. Happy. Unapologetically himself. He dug his blade deeply in the ice and pushed off with a vengeance. Daring danced in Tucker’s eyes as she raced out further on the ice.
“Got you,” he caught her around the waist, and picked her up, widening his stance so he
could slow them down.
“Now what?” she whispered.
“Your celibacy and behavior ban until Tanner’s wedding, I’m not completely clear. Does it include kissing?”
“Hmmmm,” she drawled out, her gloved finger traced his lips. “I hadn’t really thought that far ahead. What do you think? Should kissing count?”
“Kissing always counts, but I think it should be excluded from the ban, definitely, although I have a vested interest, and if it counts, I’ve already messed you up.”
“Let me think about it.” Tucker scrunched her face thoughtfully.
Laird had been fixated on her mouth all evening, trying his best to notice other things like chocolate, gingerbread houses, candy canes, ornaments, but hell, it had been damned hard.
“Aren’t you going to put me down first?”
Hell no. Maybe never.
He wanted to savor this moment. Their first agreed-upon kiss, not spontaneous, not regretted or analyzed. Her lips parted, and her eyes went hazy with desire, the tiny green jewel glittered on the side of her small nose and that just reeled him in deeper.
“Hey Laird and Tucker, I want to go that fast.” Parker wobbled up on skates and tugged at his jacket. “Can I? Can you pull me around that fast?”
“Sure, Parker,” Tucker said, wiggling so Laird slowly lowered her down. He felt like he was coming back from a distance. “Fast is how we roll.”
*
Funny, as the others turned in their skates and Tucker and Laird hung their skates around their necks, Parker walked between them instead of his parents talking a mile a minute about how he was going to eat ten tacos.
“Diez,” he said as if Laird were going to argue with him.
“Where you gonna put all that, Mister P?” Tucker demanded, tickling his tummy. She then held on to one of Parker’s hands and, to Laird’s surprise, Parker tucked his little gloved hand into his. He looked down at Parker’s shining face as he gazed up at Tucker, who grinned back. This from the woman who said she never wanted to be a mother, and yet she was so comfortable. Tucker had a great sense of adventure and fun. That seemed like an essential maternal trait, and yet one his mother hadn’t really possessed. She’d taken him to parks, but she hadn’t played. Laird couldn’t imagine Tucker on the sidelines.
The Christmas Challenge Page 12