Laird was the only man she wanted to spend time with. Damn he looked amazing in a suit. She’d never been into suits before but his lean body and athletic grace reminded her of a wild animal like a cougar briefly leashed, but the animal instinct and raw power simmered below ready to burst free, and man oh man, was she so ready for that kind of action.
Down, girl, she mocked herself.
She saw Tanner dance by, secure in Luke’s arms and, despite his protests that he was only a two-step cowboy, Luke had the moves down of a waltz of all things, probably a courtesy of Kane who’d come to Marietta for two days only to fly out again this morning to meet with some sponsors in Las Vegas.
“I’m so glad she’s happy,” Tucker breathed.
He laced his fingers with hers. He seemed uncomfortable with all the curious glances cast their way, but Tucker was accustomed to looks and a lot of snarky comments so she ignored them, grabbing this moment of bliss when she’d actually done something right with Tanner, the dress and boots and now turning her and Laird into babysitters so that Colt and Luke could bond, and their almost brides could enjoy a fairy tale setting for this magical night.
Life was good if you just grabbed each moment.
“Are you happy, Tucker?”
“Now?”
“Yeah.”
“With you, yes,” she said soberly. “I think you are an amazing man, Laird Hunter. I feel lucky and blessed to have met you. I was facing darkness and you have brought light.”
He inhaled, and instead of smiling, he looked in pain.
“Laird?” She stopped dancing and they stood still in the middle of the dance floor, one of his hands laced in hers, the other splayed possessively on her lower back. “Laird?”
He pressed his forehead against hers and for a moment she just felt him, breathed him in. She lost a sense of herself as an individual and instead she felt as if she were melting, reforming, and instead of resenting the closeness, the feeling of relying on someone other than herself, she felt a strange sense of peace.
“You’re the amazing one, Tucker. You have no idea.”
She wanted to say something funny. Lighten the mood. Especially as she’d said something so dramatic like “you brought me light.” But it was true. He had literally brought light that night she’d been so lost. Candles. She still remembered the awe of seeing all that flickering golden light. It reminded her of the song she and Tanner used to sing in church, “This Little Light of Mine.” Not really aware she was doing it, Tucker began to hum the phrases of the song. She felt something vibrate against her back.
“Cinderella,” Laird said softly, and she realized it was the timer on Laird’s enormously techno, outdoors-oriented watch. “Your coach awaits.”
“Parker,” she breathed. “You don’t mind?”
“I’m hanging out with you and a sweet, funny kid instead of a hundred strangers who keep staring at us. Believe me, I am so good with leaving, although being able to touch your beautiful skin and hold you like this has been a highlight in my life; and believe me, I’ve had a lot of highs with all the places I’ve explored and things I’ve done.”
“Laird,” she caught his hand. “That’s the best real thing anyone’s ever said to me. Well, except for the thing you said earlier, a couple days ago,” she ducked her head, not wanting him to see her blush. Who knew she even still could?
He tilted her chin up. “I don’t think we’re done with that conversation,” he said.
“No, we’re not.”
Chapter Fifteen
They changed in the bathrooms. Tucker got more than a few scandalized looks, especially as she wiggled into a black lacy bra in front of the sink before she began to layer her shirts and a sweater.
“I’ve got a threesome tonight,” she said borrowing Laird’s joke, just to give the guests more to talk about.
“Tucker, please, stop teasing us mere mortals,” Rowan Palotay shot back.
“This from the girl groping a prince.”
“I was not groping,” Rowan said redoing her bare lips and fluffing her hair. “I was merely imagining groping him, which is pretty fabulous even if it’s only in my mind.”
“Well I must be getting psychic because I was seeing a full on grope.”
“No groping,” Rowan reiterated. “I’m writing a feature on him for The Courier. Our relationship is purely professional.”
“Is that what’s passing as professional these days?” Tucker teased. She liked Rowan. She was fun and had made some mistakes of her own that had energized the town gossips, giving her a breather now and then. “Maybe I am clairvoyant.”
“Hope so, T,” Rowan whispered. “But put some pants on before you run off with your hottie. What is it with you and Tanner and even Talon? You have some fetish with guys with cheekbones that are sharp enough to cut glass and jaws that look like they should have rock climbing ratings.”
“What can I say, we are freaks with excellent taste,” Tucker said as she finished dressing.
“Lucky freaks,” Rowan said. “I knew Colt when I was a kid, and I’ve never seen him so happy, but your guy is just as obsessed. He watches you like he hasn’t eaten in a week and you’re a steak and potato dinner.”
“I’d like a less fattening analogy please, but as I know Laird is no vegetarian, I’ll let you get away with that one. Enjoy your prince. I want a full report.”
“Unlike you I don’t kiss and tell,” Rowan laughed over her shoulder.
Feeling lighthearted about spending the evening with Laird and Parker skating and probably eating something really decadent at Main Street Café or the ice cream parlor, Tucker carefully put her dress back on the hanger she’d brought. It had been worth the money just to see the admiration in Laird’s eyes.
She pulled up short just as she exited the foyer. Laird stood, one hand in his jeans, leaning against one of the decorated pillars that marked the entrance to the ballroom. He’d been devastatingly handsome in his black, classic-cut suit, but the things he did to jeans were sinful, but she suddenly saw what Rowan had said now that all three of them were standing together. Laird, Luke, and Colt. Laird was quiet, watching for her and as she emerged, he seemed to come to life. He straightened and walked toward her with that prowl, the roll of his hips that made her think of sex when she was supposed to be thinking… She didn’t even know. Pure thoughts. Whatever those were. And who the hell ever wanted to have those anyway?
I do.
Ha. Who was she kidding? She really didn’t. Not with Laird. And Tanner already thought they were lovers so why was she sticking to her original celibacy challenge like a little girl? Just to stick with a principle even when it was hard?
Luke and Colt flanked him. God, they all were incredibly handsome men. And sexy as hell, and yes, their bone structures did look like they’d been cut by a master. She’d been to Florence and had stared at David until security had ushered her out because it was past closing time and she’d been stunned to realize she’d sat there for almost three hours staring at the lifelike marble statue. The three men had a similar look. The deep brows, high jutted cheekbones, hollowed out cheeks and jaws that looked like they should be staring in Hollywood action movies.
The action she’d like to have with Laird…
Come to think of it. Most actors weren’t even that handsome. And these guys weren’t even trying. Well maybe tonight. Of the three of them, only Laird smiled. Luke’s continued coolness rankled and she wanted to say something snotty like “I’ve seen you naked” or something even more specific, but that would be childish and awkward for Laird.
Oh.
Tucker’s smile faltered. She wanted to please Laird. Make him feel good. Secure. Not just thinking about herself. Wasn’t that just the first step down the slippery slope of need? And then what? He’d be gone and she’d be alone. Miserable.
“Ready?” He took her bag that had held her change of clothes from her shoulder as well as her dress. “I’ll put these in the car because I believe we
have a date.”
She stared at him. Amazed at how he always took care of her and marveling at how she hadn’t noticed before. The way he carried things for her, opened doors for her, checked on how she was doing, noticed her moods.
Parker came running out of the ballroom in his socks and skidded to a stop. “Why aren’t you wearing a fancy dress?” he demanded of Tucker.
“Because I have a date with you to ice skate.”
“I was going to dance with you. I danced with Mom and Tanner, but you can’t dance in jeans.” His nose wrinkled.
“I’ll let you know, little man, I have danced a lot in jeans, and I never met a man who complained except you. Next thing I know you’ll have a show on E! judging the recess activewear lines of your third grade classmates.”
Parker grinned cheekily. “I don’t wanna be on TV. I’m gonna be a soldier.” He wrapped himself around Colt. “And then I’m gonna ride bulls like Luke and Kane. I wish you were coming skating with us.” He looked up at Colt’s face, wistful.
“So do I.” Colt sounded dead serious.
“Coward,” Luke taunted, jerking his head toward the ballroom. “I’ve been here over an hour.”
Colt didn’t budge.
Luke shrugged and walked off.
“Not a dancer?” Tucker raised her eyebrow.
“Everyone wants to be nice, but they keep patting me and thanking me for my service. I just—” he broke off looking down at the top of Parker’s head.
“Say ‘you’re welcome.’”
He looked at her, his golden gaze inscrutable.
“I know it’s not easy,” Tucker said. “But it’s right and that creates a balance for you and for them over time. And then everyone will get used to you and you to them and it will just be okay. You can blend in. Be a soccer dad. Or the Cub Scout dad.”
He clearly thought about her words. Laird was struck by her quiet wisdom. He thought about the Daughters of Montana and wished they could hear Tucker now. Give her a chance and meet the adult instead of the teen they’d gossiped about when Tucker had been trying to figure out who she was.
“Parker, you ready to roll?” Laird asked. “Where are your shoes?”
Parker buried his face deeper into Colt’s hip and his skinny little arms held on tighter. “By the door with my coat.”
“You have fun, Parker,” Colt stroked his dark, silky head. “And act in a way that makes yourself proud.”
Parker held tighter. “Four more days.”
“I know, buddy.” Colt crouched down so he could look Parker in the eyes. “But the court date’s just a formality right? You’re already home here.” He touched his massive chest and Parker looked like he was about to cry. Tucker found that tears were pricking her own eyes, and when she looked at Laird, he looked sucker punched. He caught her eyes and she tried to smile, but felt like every cell in her body was trembling.
Laird would be a great dad, she thought, and the minute that thought hit she wanted to run and hide. What the hell was happening to her? She didn’t want a dad guy! She didn’t want to rely on a man. Just become a convenience for him. And Laird didn’t even live in Marietta. He had traveled the world guiding high-end extreme climbing tours in places inaccessible to girlfriends and kids. She couldn’t think of Laird like that or have any expectations. But she also couldn’t take her eyes off him.
Oh God. Was this what it was? Love? Falling in love. She felt like she was falling all right. Into an icy abyss or a cauldron of churning uncertainty. Maybe a roller coaster with no brakes. The analogies pounded into her brain like nails into a coffin. Tucker felt equally thrilled and terrified. Panicked.
She heard Parker suck in a deep, shaky breath, and that brave little man touched his own chest.
“This is your house,” he said to Colt.
“Best one in the neighborhood.”
*
“I think Parker secretly ate some barbells along with his spaghetti and ice cream,” Laird said as he carried the sleeping kid upstairs. “And how did he fall asleep so fast? Colt’s ranch is so much closer to town than yours and the kid was talking a mile a minute and then boom. Out.”
“Clear conscience,” Tucker said. She was in front of him turning on the hall light and then turning down the covers of Parker’s comforter. “What’s keeping you up at night?”
He should have smiled. Her husky voice was warm with laughter. He loved that about her. Her warmth and sense of fun always bubbling gently below the surface, ready to burble up. If he’d met her last year he would have jumped into a physical relationship with her, thinking her the perfect woman to enjoy whatever time they had together.
Now he just had so many emotions roiling through him he couldn’t trust himself or his feelings. And he didn’t feel like he could start anything with Tucker. She deserved a better man, not one who was searching for who he was, grappling with unfamiliar emotions and trying to figure what he wanted to do next.
Could he try to stay in one town for a year? Have a normal job he stuck with? He didn’t know, but for Tucker, he wanted to try. And that alone should have sent him running.
His library searches had revealed no birth announcements or obits that would have helped him. He’d struck out at the courthouse as well. Nothing. So what next? Should he just let it go?
“I think we’ve already discussed what’s keeping me up,” he said wryly. “And now that you told me what you do when I can’t take it anymore and sneak off to the shower, I’ll be sleeping less.”
“Pain is good for the soul.”
“Shining bright.”
She laughed and he caught his breath. He loved everything about her, including how she made him feel. Maybe he just had to stop overthinking.
Tucker eased off Parker’s boots. Laird had already peeled off Parker’s jacket when they’d arrived at the house after an hour of skating and a very late dinner at Main Street Café. And then there had been the ice cream shop where Parker had asked for samples of five ice creams before Tucker cut him off and told him to choose. He’d chosen chocolate peanut butter, which he hadn’t even sampled. Laird had been amused by Parker’s scam.
He hadn’t spent a lot of time with kids, but he really enjoyed Parker. Being with him made him equally happy and sad. He couldn’t help but wonder what his kid would have been like. It still hurt, like a match struck on his chest, flaring to a hot flame and burning him inside out over and over.
Tucker reached over and turned off the light just as Laird caught a glimpse of a picture in a frame by Parker’s bed. A close up of Colt and Talon and Parker. A professional shot. And then another of a dark-haired laughing woman. Parker’s mom who’d died when he’d been a toddler, probably. Out of tragedy, joy. The cycle of life.
“Hey,” he said, sadness and frustration crashing together inside of him, two titans determined to dominate. “Come here.”
So much was surging around inside of him, he didn’t know how to sort through any of it.
Tucker caught his hand and pulled him from the room. She turned off the bright light in the hall and two small hall nightlights turned on. Laird pulled her into his arms and held her. Her softness felt so good against his hardness. And she was warm, so warm when he felt like ice. Turmoil thrashed inside of him like a captured animal, but holding Tucker and being held by her offered a glimpse of peace.
“Tonight was a perfect night,” Tucker said. “For me. You didn’t mind only going to the ball for a little bit, did you?”
“I’m not really a ball kind of man. And I prefer being outdoors.”
It helped him breathe and think.
Strands from her hair tickled his lips and he kissed the top of her head. “I love how you feel against me.”
“I love how you feel,” she whispered as if confessing a great sin.
She tilted up her face and even though he’d spent most of the night concentrating on not kissing her so that they wouldn’t give anyone anything to gossip about before Tanner’s wedding, he succumbed
instantly to her magic.
“Tucker,” he said her name like a talisman as he deepened the kiss and the little sigh out of her mouth was a green light.
Even though she’d changed out of her dress, Tucker had kept her hairstyle in place, her waves tamed and twisted into some kind of a braid. He removed the clip and the pins scattered on the floor as his fingers stroked through the silky mass, and the whole time he kissed her like he was starving for a taste of her.
“Laird,” she gasped, as he broke the kiss so his teeth could lightly bite down on her pouty lower lip that always teased him. And then he was kissing her neck, her collarbone, his hands easing her Western-style flannel shirt from the waistband of her jeans.
“Yes,” she hissed as he popped open the buttons and his finger hooked the strap of her tank off her shoulder and he kissed bare skin.
He had her backed against the wall, his body hard against hers, and the sound of their breathing was loud in the hall. Tucker had her hands on his ass, fingers digging deep as she pulled him even harder against her pelvis and the delicious friction was like an electrical current charging through his body.
“God, Tucker.” He caught her face in his hands so he could better control the kiss, his mouth and tongue touching her, tasting her, drinking her in, and he wanted so much more.
For a moment, he let his imagination loose, pictured the things he wanted to do but couldn’t and wouldn’t. Her personal challenge no longer seemed like an amusing game to him, and he respected her too much to push her too far. Still, he indulged himself by picturing her naked, above him, her hair spilling around him, her long, creamy legs straddling him, and her breasts would be his to pleasure with his hands, his mouth. He was on fire to have her.
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