by Emma Davies
As it happens, Lauren and Tilly are scathing about the reactions of some of their more hysterical classmates. ‘Honestly, Mum, it was ridiculous…’ says Lauren when I ask her. ‘Mrs Hollingsworth had to get quite cross, but I don’t blame her, they were making a right racket.’
I smile and nod at my ever-so-grown-up daughter. ‘But you’ve had a good day though?’ I ask.
‘Yeah, brilliant. They’ve even got chickens here,’ she replies, as she and Tilly walk past us to wait a little distance away.
‘Chickens?’ I query, looking at Anna for confirmation.
‘All true,’ she says. ‘Three of them at last count. There’s a garden area at the back of Miss Butler’s class and the children get to decide what they want to grow. And one of the things they picked was chickens…’ She raises her eyebrows.
‘You make it sound like they’re being fattened up for Christmas.’
‘No, they’re just kept for their eggs.’ She flicks a glance towards Tilly. ‘Although… let’s just say that one or two of the chickens are on their second reincarnation, if you know what I mean.’ There’s a faint wink. ‘And no questions asked.’
I grin at her. ‘Well, chickens or no chickens, I’m glad Lauren’s had a good day.’ I scan the straggles of children still coming out of the school. ‘Just Chloe to go now…’
I spot her walking out with her classmates a few moments later and give a little wave to let her know I’m here. If she does want to go home with Jasmin then I don’t just want her to rush off without speaking to me first. I’ve already clocked Jackie, standing a little distance from us, and I look across and smile, ready to confirm arrangements. Chloe hasn’t quite reached me, however, when a boy streaks past us, rushing for the gate. He clips Tilly on his way past, crashing against her shoulder and almost sending her flying. It’s one of those moments when, as a parent, you don’t know what to do first – rush to the potentially injured child, or chase after the boy. I don’t want to overreact, but my danger-sensing radar is bleeping loudly at the possibility that he could run straight out into the road. I recognise the lad from this morning – it’s Stacey’s son – and my heart drops.
Tilly is fine, more startled than anything, and Anna very sensibly doesn’t make a big deal of it. Stacey, however, is obviously going to make a fuss. She strides past me, bellowing at her son and, although she drops her voice as she reaches him, it’s obvious by their body language that he’s getting a good telling-off. One that isn’t going down at all well. He throws off her arm, looking petulant; wriggling as she pulls him back towards us, where he stands, head down.
‘Say sorry to the little girl, Leo,’ she demands. ‘How many times have I told you to be more careful, especially around people who are—’ She stops dead, and I’m grateful that she bit her tongue. I’m almost certain that what she was about to say would have been horribly inappropriate and I wince on Tilly’s behalf. She’s such a sunny-natured child but she’s probably been on the receiving end of some pretty nasty comments in the past due to her disability.
‘It’s fine,’ answers Anna easily, stepping in. ‘No harm done. I expect you were just excited, Leo, weren’t you?’
He half looks up, grateful, and is about to answer when Stacey interrupts. ‘I said, say sorry, Leo…’
His head drops again and his muttered apology sounds sulky and insincere.
‘It’s really okay,’ reiterates Anna. ‘Please don’t give it another thought. I’m sure it was just high spirits.’ Beside her Tilly is smiling happily, just as keen as her mum not to make an issue of it.
‘Yes, well, he needs to learn some manners. I keep telling him he can’t go around treating people like he does, but he doesn’t listen.’ A rather defiant note has crept into Stacey’s voice.
‘I expect it’s just the relief at having the first day of the new term over and done with, isn’t it?’ I say. ‘Even if you love school it’s always a little strange after the long summer break.’
Stacey’s eyes narrow as she looks at us in turn, and I see a sudden flicker of unease. Perhaps it’s just that with Anna and Tilly, me, Lauren and Chloe and now Jasmin and Jackie too, there are seven of us all gathered around, but I can see she’s feeling uncomfortable, threatened even. It’s unfortunate, but it wasn’t deliberate.
She lifts her chin a little and looks back at me. ‘What’s it got to do with you?’ she sneers. ‘I should keep your nose out if you know what’s good for you.’
I catch Anna’s eye but she looks just as uncomfortable as I’m feeling and I’m at a loss for what to say. Jackie, on the other hand, is leaning in with interest. I’d only been trying to lighten things up and I certainly wasn’t trying to stick my oar in. I’m desperately searching for something to help the situation when Stacey clutches at Leo’s arm.
‘Right, come on, you,’ she says. ‘Before you cause any more upset. And, like I said before, stay away from them lot up at the big house.’ Soon she’s melted away, lost in the still milling gaggle of parents and children.
There’s a rather subdued hush until, seconds later, Lauren, bless her, breaks the silence, the slightly sticky conversation thankfully flying right over her head.
‘Mum, can Tilly come and play with Scampers for a bit?’
The tension eases and I smile brightly. ‘Yes of course, sweetheart. As long as that’s okay with Anna.’
Anna smiles too. ‘Just until dinnertime though. No late nights now it’s back to school.’
Tilly gives a predictable groan, but she links arms with Lauren in acceptance of the situation.
‘And how about you, Chlo? Have you had a good day?’ It feels late to be asking her now and it’s not the way I wanted to greet her at the end of her first day. In many ways I wish she’d just come home but I don’t want to stifle her potential friendships either.
‘It’s been okay…’ She trails off and then looks at Jasmin who’s standing by her side, chewing the end of her plait. ‘Can I go back to Jaz’s, Mum? Please.’ I can see she’s not keen on having a public discussion on the merits or otherwise of the day.
‘Of course,’ I reply, looking across at Jackie, who nods in confirmation. ‘What time shall I fetch her?’ I ask, smiling. I don’t even know where Jackie lives.
‘No problem, I’ll drop her home. ‘Bout six be okay?’ She’s already moving away. ‘Come on girls.’
And just like that they’re gone. Chloe doesn’t even say goodbye.
‘It reminds me of that song,’ remarks Anna with a sympathetic smile. ‘They’re slipping through your fingers all the while.’ She pauses for a moment, weighing up what to say. ‘Jackie lives on the estate up at the far end of the village, so does Stacey,’ she adds. ‘In case you were wondering. But I’m sure Chloe will be okay.’ There’s a lot more she could have said and we both know it.
‘Sorry… it’s just in London, well, it’s different there, I know. But the girls never went on play dates anywhere without me knowing exactly where they were and having contact numbers too. It’s been a long while since I lived in a village. I guess it’s going to take some time getting used to a more relaxed attitude.’
Anna nods. ‘There’s no need to apologise, Thea. Caution isn’t a bad thing and definitely not where your children are concerned. I think it took a while for things to get back to normal here after what happened, but it was a long time ago now and eventually you have to put things like that out of your mind, don’t you? Otherwise you’d never let your kids do anything. But if it helps, Jackie’s okay. A bit rough and ready, likes a gossip, but otherwise nice enough.’ She’s looking at me carefully and I realise I’m staring.
‘Sorry, Anna,’ I say, confused. ‘I think we’re talking about two different things here. I just meant that maybe folks in London are a bit more cautious. We didn’t live in a rough area by any means, but it’s generally not as safe there as in the country. Or maybe that’s just our perception of it, I don’t know. What did you mean?’
Anna bites her lip. ‘O
h… I thought you knew, when you said… But it really was a long time ago. Forget I even said it.’
‘Forget what?’
She looks to where Lauren and Tilly are standing a little distance away before leaning in slightly, lowering her voice. ‘The girl that went missing in the village… Georgia Thomas, the one that was assaulted…’
The hairs stir on the back of my neck. The name means nothing. ‘I’m sorry, Anna, I haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about.’
There’s an anguished look on her face. ‘Oh dear, I shouldn’t have said anything. Please don’t worry.’ She tuts. ‘I’ve made it sound like you’ve moved into the middle of some awful drama on the television. You haven’t. It was an isolated incident, fifteen, maybe twenty years ago, and nothing like it has happened since. I really don’t know the details anyway, I don’t want to. There’s too much goes on in the current world to pay attention to something that happened so long ago. But you know what people are like, long memories, especially over a story like this.’ She lowers her voice even further. ‘A girl from the school went missing for a few hours and when she was found she’d been… assaulted. The person that did it was never caught apparently, but, like I said, nothing else ever happened.’
‘Oh I see,’ I say quietly. ‘Well no, I didn’t know about that…’
I’m not sure what I think, but it happens, I’m well aware of that, and Anna looks so anxious that I don’t want to make a big deal about it. In fact, why would I? It’s ancient history now and for goodness’ sake we’d lived in our house in London for eighteen months before we found out that the chap at the end of the road had attacked his wife one night when he came home drunk and found she’d burned his dinner. It made no difference to our lives at all. I brighten my expression.
‘Don’t worry, Anna, I don’t think we’ll be needing to pack up and move back out just yet, but I appreciate you telling me. I’m glad I heard it from you and not someone else.’
She smiles in gratitude, motioning ahead to where Lauren and Tilly are waiting patiently by the gate. ‘The village must feel very different from when you were a child, but it’s still a great place to live, and I think it’s lovely that you’re back here with your own children, growing up somewhere that has such fond memories for you. None of that has changed.’
She nods her head firmly as if judgement has been passed, and I realise that she’s right. There’s always a period of adjustment moving anywhere new, so why should here be any different, just because it’s where we grew up? We’re adults now and the circumstances aren’t the same. I start walking, grateful to have Anna as a neighbour – and as someone who’s rapidly becoming a friend too. ‘Have you got time for that coffee?’ I ask. ‘I’m dying to show you the studio.’
‘I thought you’d never ask…’ she replies, rolling her eyes.
Drew is hard at work when we arrive back and it’s good to see his desk covered with papers, a mug standing to one side. It looks like the room has always been this way and the day like any other.
‘You look nicely at home,’ I say as Anna and I walk through the door. ‘How does it feel?’
‘Wonderful!’ he replies. ‘I don’t know why we didn’t do this before. Working for yourself, from home, versus being in a huge, noisy, artificially lit office and just a part of the food chain… no contest, is there?’
‘Well, put like that…’ Anna grins. ‘But it’s incredible in here.’ She looks around, taking in all the changes to the room. ‘Besides, you don’t need to convince me about the benefits of working from home. Rob loves it.’
‘It certainly has a lot to recommend it,’ agrees Drew, with an amused expression on his face as he looks directly at me.
I blush slightly, knowing exactly what he’s referring to. ‘Anyway, we had better not hold you up,’ I say, moving towards the kitchen door. ‘Anna and I are just going to have a coffee, would you like a refill?’
His eyes flick away as his laptop makes a pinging sound. ‘No, no thanks, I’ve not long had…’ Whatever it was has captured his attention.
I smile at Anna and a complicit look passes between us. She’s just as used to this as I am.
Once in the kitchen I open the back door to the garden, knowing that it won’t be long before Lauren and Tilly come in seeking a drink and something to eat. Plus it still feels nice, leaving doors open, letting them come and go. And Scampers has never eaten so much fresh grass. I put down a tin of biscuits on the table where Anna is sitting.
‘I still haven’t quite got around to making that cake,’ I say. ‘Shame on me.’
Anna pounces on a cookie. ‘I don’t know why. I mean, it isn’t as if you’ve had anything to do… Seriously though, the studio looks amazing. And I know you’ve got lots planned for the rest of the house but it already looks heaps better – alive, does that make sense?’
‘Yeah, lived-in…’ I look around the kitchen, every surface of which is covered with the detritus of a busy family life.
‘No,’ replies Anna, deliberately dismissing my remark. ‘Come alive, more vibrant.’ She takes a bite of her biscuit just as Lauren and Tilly race past the open door, Lauren shrieking as Tilly chases after her.
‘That’ll be the screaming then.’
Anna laughs too. ‘Maybe. But the couple who were here before you were so…’ She casts around for the right word. ‘She wasn’t so bad, but he was incredibly grumpy, and very negative. It was as if he sucked the life out of things, brought everything to a dead stop. When we first moved in I used to pop over from time to time – you know, curate’s wife and all that. And they were elderly, I thought perhaps they needed the support. But I had to stop coming after a while; it made me feel depressed.’ She gives an involuntary shiver. ‘Actually, it was more than that – he gave me the creeps, just something… off about him. But I think the house likes having children here; it feels lighter somehow.’
I can see she’s wondering if I think her comments strange, but I don’t, I know exactly what she means. The house always felt happy to me as a child, even at the age when I was especially susceptible to things that went bump in the night. I never felt scared here, despite the creaking floorboards and gurgling radiators. The thought brings to mind something from earlier that I’ve been meaning to ask Anna about.
‘Our builder said an odd thing when he first came around, about not believing the stories we might hear about the house. Has it attained something of a reputation?’
Anna shakes her head. ‘Not as far as I know. I can ask Rob, but I suspect it’s just because it’s old and big – if it were in an Agatha Christie book it’s definitely where the murder would take place.’
I smile, shrugging. ‘You may well be right. Perhaps that’s what Stacey meant when she said to stay away from them lot up at the big house. Maybe she thinks we’re all up to no good.’ I roll my eyes. ‘I don’t know what we’ve done to deserve her snide remark, but perhaps just living here is reason enough. You know, I get that this is a large house, and I know we’re very lucky to be able to live here, but I think I’d rather she called me a snobby cow or a rich bitch or something and be done with it, instead of making silly comments.’
Anna sympathises. ‘The whole thing this afternoon was really awkward. And it wasn’t as if you said anything wrong.’
Anna looks across at me and I pull a face. ‘Stacey probably didn’t mean what she said. I expect she just felt we were being judgemental and wanted to retaliate.’
Anna blinks. ‘Were we being judgemental?’ she asks. ‘I didn’t think we were.’
‘No,’ I say decisively, picking up my mug. ‘We weren’t. It was her that made a massive drama out of it, not us.’
Seven
‘For goodness’ sake, Thea. It was just a stupid comment. You don’t need to get so het up about it.’ Drew’s gaze slides away from me and back to his laptop.
But I’m not getting het up, I just mentioned it because it was a silly thing to say. That’s exactly my point. And I’m
wondering why Drew, one of the least argumentative people I know, is suddenly looking like he’s spoiling for a fight. Even at this angle I can see how tight his jaw is clenched.
Anna has gone home, but the girls are still playing in the garden. I’m sitting with Drew in the studio and I can hear them now, the odd shriek every now and again that always seems to accompany girls at play. Perhaps it’s this that has darkened his previously sunny mood.
‘I can ask the girls to keep it down a bit if you like.’
‘What?’ Drew looks up at my comment, clearly irritated at having his concentration broken. ‘No, they’re fine. Just leave them be.’
Once again I’m dismissed as his keyboard claims his attention, a small sigh betraying his frustration, and something else too. I notice the slight droop of his shoulders.
‘What was your email?’ I ask. ‘The one that arrived when I was in here before with Anna.’
And, finally, the Drew I know and understand returns to me with a sheepish look. ‘I didn’t get the job,’ he replies. ‘Sorry.’
I hate it when I’m right.
‘The one you went to see about this morning?’ I clarify. ‘That was a quick decision.’
He sits back, spinning his chair to face me. ‘Yeah, too quick. There was another guy just leaving as I arrived, with a lot of handshaking and backslapping; clearly someone who’d had a working relationship with them before. No prizes for guessing who got the job.’
There’s still something not quite right about his reaction. ‘Well at least they let you know quickly. Not ideal, but I guess that happens all the time. And you’re used to that, surely? Didn’t you always say when you pitched for commissions before that it was as much to do with if your face fit or not?’
‘Yes, but in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not in my old job now. And I understand full well the point you’re trying to make, but what if my face never fits? It mattered if I lost a job before, of course it did, but I still got paid regardless. I don’t have that luxury any more.’