by Emma Davies
Stacey snorts, sending anger coursing through me once more. Rachel touches my arm – a gentle warning – but I shake her off. I’m not letting these women get away with treating people the way they have.
I stare at the faces in front of me. ‘And if I really was as depraved and nasty as you’ve been trying to make out, not only would that be so utterly ridiculous I can’t even be bothered to explain why, but wouldn’t I be the one going around spreading lies and making people’s lives a misery? But instead, here I am, just going about my business, trying to raise my family and do right by this community. Not like you, and all your friends who were quite happy to leave us in the shit today. But you’ve been outed, shown up for who you really are…’ I lean towards Stacey again. ‘And now, as much as I’ve enjoyed our little chat, you’re wasting my time. I want to know the truth and you’re going to help me get it.’ I turn to Leo. ‘Were you outside with Tilly and Lauren?’ I ask. ‘Playing hide and seek?’
There’s no reply.
‘Leo…! I asked you a question,’ I add, my voice dangerously low. ‘Were you playing outside with Tilly and Lauren? Yes or no?’
Stacey pushes her chair back from the table with a hideous screeching sound. ‘Don’t you dare talk to my son like that.’
‘It’s important,’ I hiss. ‘Two children are missing for God’s sake.’ My eyes burn into hers and for a moment I really don’t think there’s any level on which I can get through to her, but I’m inches away from doing something we’ll both live to regret and she knows it.
She elbows Leo roughly. ‘Answer the lady,’ she says.
I drop to his side. ‘Please, Leo, we just want to find them. Do you know where they’ve gone?’
There’s a tiny shake of the head. ‘They ran off,’ he murmurs. ‘I didn’t do nothin’.’
‘So why did they run off?’ I ask. ‘They must have had a reason…’
He raises his head slightly, peeps at me from under his lashes, but then his head drops again.
‘Leo, it’s dark outside. Think how you would feel if you were outside, all by yourself, in the dark and cold.’
I turn my gaze back to Stacey, I’m pleading with her this time.
‘What did you say?’ she warns. ‘And you’d better bloody tell me… Leo…?’
He huffs. ‘I didn’t know they were going to run off, okay. I was only joking.’
‘What did you say?’
‘That they’d better find a really good hiding place, that’s all, otherwise…’ He stops dead and looks at me. ‘Otherwise everyone would know how rubbish they were at playing the game.’
There’s something in what he’s saying, and I narrow my eyes trying to pick up on it, but it’s not right, it doesn’t make sense. And everything I know about this child makes me think that he’s very good at not getting caught.
‘I don’t believe you,’ I say. ‘I don’t think that’s any kind of threat. Lauren would just laugh at you if you said that. So, try again Leo, what did you really threaten them with?’
A sly grin comes over his face as he looks up and very slowly draws a finger across his throat.
I stare at him, reeling, the room spinning round me as the storm in my head builds. The waves are swamping me, pulling me under but, just when I think I can stand it no longer, it passes and the sea calms. I’m in the eye of the storm and it’s quiet here, and strangely peaceful. There’s room to think. And in that instant, it comes to me.
‘I know where they are,’ I say, incredulously, staring at Anna’s astonished face. ‘I do, I know where they are,’ I repeat and then I bolt for the door.
I almost crash into Drew and Gerry as I hurtle outside.
‘Hey… hey…!’ It’s Drew, trying to halt my flight. ‘Thea, slow down, it’s okay, I’ve got you.’
I stare up at his face. The last of the light is falling on one side of it, giving him an eerie look. It’s almost completely dark now, how can it possibly be all right?
I struggle from his hold and instead pull at his arm. ‘No, I know where they are… We have to go, come on.’
His eyes widen. ‘Where? Thea, we’ve checked all the places there are to hide. I think Gerry’s right, we need to call the police now. It’s getting cold and neither of the girls had their coats on. There’s no time to waste.’
‘I know!’ I pull at his arm again. ‘Please… For God’s sake, Drew, come with me.’
‘Thea?’ It’s Anna, with Rachel by her side. ‘You said you know where the girls are?’ Her voice is rising hysterically.
‘And I do, I promise you, Anna.’ I pull her into my arms, feeling her body tremble against mine. ‘I’ll bring them back, I swear.’ I pull away to look at Rachel. ‘They’re at the brook, Rach, you remember, don’t you, that day we went paddling…?’
‘The brook?’ She’s looking about her, trying to remember where it is. ‘Thea, they could be anywhere… Maybe we ought to stay here?’
‘No! It’s the perfect place to hide. That’s what Lauren said, remember? The perfect place to hide. I know how her mind works, Rach, and if she wanted to protect Tilly at any cost… that’s where she’d take her.’
I can see her weighing up my words. I look at Drew, at Gerry and back to Anna again. I’m pleading with them. We haven’t got time to argue.
‘Go,’ says Anna, nodding suddenly. ‘You’re right, I know you are. Go!’
‘Stay here!’ I call, already pulling Drew away. ‘With Rob, in case they come back…’
‘We’ll be ready for you,’ says Rachel resolutely, her arm already around Anna whose eyes meet mine, one mother to another.
‘God speed,’ she says.
‘I’m coming with you,’ says Gerry. ‘Which way?’
He flicks on a torch, playing the beam in front of us as I grab Drew’s hand and run across the car park. A thin drizzle has started up and I pray that there’s no more rain. The girls will be cold and probably wet. The brook will have risen— a wave of terror constricts my throat, forcing me to slow down as I gulp air into my lungs. Don’t think, just move…
We stop as we get to the road, Drew automatically pulling me to the right. ‘No,’ I pant. ‘Left… follow the road, we’ll break our necks otherwise.’
He steers the course, knowing I’m right. Running across the uneven field in the dark is asking for trouble and it’s not that much quicker. Our steps thunder down the lane, the torchlight bouncing off the road surface as Gerry runs behind. I can see very little, but I don’t need to. I’ve walked this way so many times in my life before and Lauren and Tilly are pulling me along. They’re at the end of it. They have to be.
Drew crashes into the gate that leads onto the footpath down to the bridge, fumbling with the catch. My breath is burning in my chest, forcing me to cough, and behind me Gerry is puffing hard. But there’s something else and I struggle to listen, my hand on Drew’s arm, holding him still a moment.
‘Oh, dear God, the water!’
I can hear it crashing against the concrete struts that support the bridge. It’s much narrower at this point of the river, and two days of torrential rain will have swollen the brook to double its volume. I just pray that the girls are high enough up the bank. Lauren’s sensible, she’s… But they’re in the dark. They’ll be frightened…
The noise is much louder down by the bridge and I race across and out into the field beyond, stopping dead. I can’t see a thing. In the dark there are no markers, no landmarks, save for the dark shapes of the bushes. I run forward, but I can’t tell where I am.
‘It’s along here… but I can’t see where. Gerry, can you play the torch on the water. We need to find the beach…’ But even as I say it I realise that it will no longer be there, covered over by the swell of water.
‘Lauren!’ I yell. ‘Tilly!’
‘What are we even looking for?’ shouts Gerry, trying to make himself heard above the noise of the water.
‘There’s a bush,’ I shout. ‘With a hollow middle where you can hide.
It’s right at the water’s edge.’ I’ve reached a gap between two dark shapes. ‘I need to get in the water!’
‘What…? No, Thea, it’s too dangerous.’ Drew is pulling me back, but he knows I’m not going to give up. He grabs both my shoulders until I’m facing him, rain or tears glinting wet on his face. ‘Together,’ he puffs. ‘I’m not losing you too. Together… or not at all.’
‘Then give me your hand,’ I say, leading him down to the water’s edge. ‘Hold me.’
I inch forward but there’s no way to do this carefully, the water level is too high and the darkness makes it impossible to judge. The torchlight barely gilds the surface. I’m going to have to trust in faith and, tightening my grip on Drew’s hand, I jump. The breath leaves my body as I splash, stumbling slightly on the uneven riverbed, freezing water slopping midway up my thighs.
‘Lauren…! Tilly…!’ Drew’s voice is hoarse, and the sound is snatched away by the wind and the tumult of water.
‘Pass me the torch…’
I play the beam at the water’s edge, looking for the gaps that I know should be here. It’s just so hard to make anything out, it all looks so different at night. ‘Lauren!’ I shout with all my might, straining to listen.
There’s a crash behind me as Drew lands in the water, followed by Gerry.
‘Christ!’ Gerry hisses, the expletive is right in my ear. ‘Thea, this is crazy, they can’t be here, there’s nowhere to go…’
‘Yes, yes there is,’ insists Drew. ‘We used to play here as children… Thea’s right, we just need to find them. They’ll be safe up under the bushes…’
‘Shhh! I need to listen.’
And then I hear it, faint and a way in front of me. But unmistakable.
‘Mummy…?’
Twenty-Six
‘They’re here…! Oh, Lauren, keep shouting sweetheart, as loud as you can, tell us where you are!’
‘Mummy, quickly!’
I can hear the panic in her voice, and I almost fall, trying to push myself through water that pushes right back. But Drew’s got me, his grip firm and steady. I can barely see the entrance to the hiding place, the water is right up over the bank and there’s no way to enter it without getting almost submerged.
The brambles tear at my hands as I try to pull them to one side, flashing the torch through the gaps, trying to see. ‘Are you okay?’
‘We can’t get out, Mummy, quickly…!’ She’s crying now, the pain of her sobs far worse than the brambles that rip my hands as I try to pull them away.
And then I catch a flash of Lauren’s white fleece, think I see the gleam of her eye. ‘I see them, Drew, help me, please… I can’t…’
‘Jesus,’ Gerry hisses from behind, crashing against the bushes. I can hear him grunting with effort as he uses virtually his whole body weight to rip the branches aside.
And then Drew is past me, hauling himself up on the bank by whatever means possible, thorns scraping at his skin. ‘It’s okay, Lauren, Daddy’s here, it’s okay.’
The noise of her crying increases now that she’s so close to rescue. And I shine the torch forward, trying to give Drew as much light as possible. ‘Tilly!’ I call. ‘It’s okay, sweetheart… Is she okay?’
‘She can’t stand up, it’s too slippy…’
Drew reaches them, pulling both children onto his lap as he collapses in a heap, his feet still scrabbling for purchase on the muddy bank. The water is almost to the top of the cave, the last remaining two feet the only part to stay dry. Behind them is the dense thicket of brambles and what would have been their only way out. But in the dark, scared and disorientated…? They wouldn’t have had the strength, let alone anything else. I shudder as a sob breaks free from my throat, knowing how close they came…
Gerry is beside me, measured and calm. ‘Let’s get them out, fast as we can now. Pass them down your legs, Drew, and keep them out of the water if you can. I’ll lift from there.’ He looks to me but he doesn’t need to ask.
‘I can carry her,’ I say, my teeth gritted with determination.
I can hear Drew murmuring but I can’t make out what he’s saying above the noise of the water. But then, clear as a bell: ‘No, Daddy, Tilly first, she’s very cold.’
I haven’t heard Tilly speak yet and I don’t need to look at Gerry to know what he’s thinking. ‘Quick as you can now, that’s right,’ he says. Arm out, Tilly, we’ve got you, we’ve got you. Take my hand… there…’
I heave the branches upwards and away from her as best I can as Gerry bodily hauls her from the space. Only when they’re clear do I let them drop so he can scoop her upward and into my waiting arms. Her eyes are open, wide and terrified, but she still hasn’t spoken. I clasp her trembling body to me.
‘It’s okay, darling. Talk to me, sweetheart, are you okay…?’ There’s the teeniest of nods, just a slight movement against my neck. ‘Are you hurt?’
‘No…’
I’m kissing the top of her head, rubbing her back. She’s like ice. And however high I hold her, her legs are still in the water. Gerry takes one look at her and dips his head.
‘Drew, hang on, I’m coming back. I need to get Thea and Tilly to the bank and out of the water.’
I feel his arm around my back, his hand gripping my elbow as he steers us safely to the edge. He hauls himself out and then, kneeling, lifts Tilly clean out of my arms, as I scramble up the bank and flop to the grass.
‘Go!’ I shout. ‘I’ve got her, go!’
I hear the splash as Gerry crashes back into the water. I have Tilly, but I need to see Lauren, to hold her. It’s pitch-black, and I’m sitting, my legs splayed on the grass. I’m trying to remember what Tilly was wearing, trying to feel how wet she is, but my hands are too cold to feel anything.
‘Hang on, Tilly, let me just take this off.’ I have a tee shirt on under my fleece, and Tilly needs the warmth far more than I do. I wriggle off my outer layer, gasping as the cold hits my wet skin, and pull Tilly to me. She needs no encouragement to cling on and I spread the fleece across her back, pulling it round her as best I can. ‘It won’t be long now, darling, I promise.’ She whimpers against me but I’m just glad to hear the sound, any sound.
A beam of light plays against my leg.
‘Mummy!’
‘I’m here, darling. I’m here…’
I can’t see much but I know Lauren’s free, that she’s in Drew’s arms, that she’s safe. And then they’re beside me, hugging and kissing, crying… Drew’s hands are in my hair, the rough of his cheek against mine.
‘I told you I’d protect her, Mummy. I looked after her, all the time. It was Leo, he was really going to hurt her.’
‘I know, darling. You were so brave… But you don’t have to worry about that now. It’s all over… You’re safe now, I promise.’
And it’s a vow I will keep until my dying day.
‘Come on now, let’s move,’ says Gerry, helping me to my feet. He goes to take Tilly from my arms, but I can’t let her go.
‘It’s okay, I’ll take her, for as long as I can.’
Tilly’s legs are wrapped around my waist, her one arm curled tight around my neck. She feels as light as a feather but I know how hard it’s going to be to carry her back. My legs already feel leaden. But I’m not letting go of her either and so I put one foot in front of the other, chest burning, muscles fighting me every step of the way until we reach the car park.
A shout goes up. ‘I can see them! They’re here…! All of them!’
And in front of me, moments later, a rectangle of bright light splits the night as the doors to the village hall open, filling with silhouettes.
Anna is the first to reach me and, as I hand her daughter to her, I know I will never again in my life give anyone anything so precious. She’s openly crying, unable to speak beyond murmurs and endearments as she clasps Tilly to her, but there’s a moment when her eyes meet mine, and she says all she will ever need to.
Rob’s arms go around them b
oth. ‘Thank you, dear God, thank you,’ he says.
And then I turn to hold my daughter, my legs almost giving way. Rachel brings out Chloe, and together with Drew we make a human sandwich, stumbling towards the hall, entangled and crying and laughing both.
The hall is still full of people and the release of tension as we enter is palpable, a collective breath no longer held. The children have been taken home, but others have stayed, unwilling to leave until there was news. One way or the other. And I know how close we were to disaster.
A space has been cleared for us, and amazingly there are blankets and warm coats, jumpers, fleeces, mittens and hats, together with hot chocolate and sweet tea, a huge plate of biscuits and some chocolate Mini Rolls. Rachel pulls us down to sit, stripping off socks and wet clothes with little regard for privacy, but no one cares.
There are trails of blood all across Gerry’s face and arms, from where the thorns dug deep, but he doesn’t stop until he’s checked the girls over. Quickly, calmly, methodically. He asks Tilly in particular a load of questions, but she’s becoming more alert by the minute and I know he’s happy when he turns and gives me the faintest of nods. Then, and only then, does he remove his own sopping boots and clothing and succumb to Rachel’s ministrations.
No one really notices as people leave, but I guess folks figured we needed time to be on our own, and space to acclimatise to what has just happened. And so, after a little while, I realise that there’s pretty much just us left. Us and, perversely, half of the committee members who have made it their business to finish the washing-up, tidying everything away.